TheHeadHonchoPoncho57's advice column

16/f
I have this ugly mole under my right armpit. It's so embarrassing! I've grown up with it and learned to pretty much ignore it. But it's making me self concience! My mom said i can get it removed, but where its located im afraid of irritation. You swear a lot on your underarms, and like my shirts would rub it. I'm afraid it would never heal.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what i can do about it?

Thanks

You can get it surgically removed. It would not irritate your skin---the doctor wouldn't let you get it removed if he thought it would hurt you in any way. If people can get needles stuck in their armpits to freeze the sweat glands without getting it irritated, then you can get a mole removed.

If you don't get it removed, then it will never go away. So it's your choice.

In the meantime, you can put some coverup on it. That should do the job. Coverup usually doesn't get smeared by sweat.

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13/f
hey everyone! i have a problem. I pretty sure that some girls in my school think im a slut. I DO NOT do any slutty things at ALL...but these girls are kindof immature like that. I mean, i was at a birthday party and we went to the movies. My friend whom i kind of like, put his arm around me and i put my head on his shouldler. Then later i danced with him a bit. THAT WAS ALL!! i do not see whats so slutty about that. I dont know how im sopposed convince my friends that im not a slut! Its not even me, its them! I really dont want them to think of me as a slut because im not. I did talk to them about it, but im sure that there is doubt in thweir minds. Please, how do i convince them?

There's nothing even remotely slutty about any of that. I know girls who do much, much worse things than that, and none of them get called sluts.

They probably don't think you're a slut. If they do, they'd say so. In the meantime, just relax. Nothing's happened yet, so don't worry.

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i need some advice regarding my 9 year old son.

he wanted a cell phone and a laptop for christmas. he didnt get either and wrote a statement "no cell phone or laptop i want you dead i swear"

in addition he has a facination with guns and knives.all he draws is blood & death useing guns and knives. hes consitantly defiant especially when it comes to picking up after himself

ex: wrappers or soda cans left wherever he decides where he wants to eat. he is always lying about trivial things and constantly breaks or looses possesions and then lies about it even though it wouldnt have gotten him in trouble.

no punishments or rewards work ! at all ! he'll do things right until hes off punishment and he'll just continue with what he does when he gets rewards.

this all started after his father died and i do not believe it is his way of copeing with it .
he has many problems with school and cannot concentrate

pleas help . any advice will do. im really frightened by what he does and worried about how this will all end.

signed by,
concerned perent

Get him into psychotherapy. Now. Have him see a counselor.

It sounds like there's nothing you can do directly that can really help him. But a counselor can.

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there is these 2 boys in my class and they stare at me and my friend all the time but they look me in the eye they deny that they like me online.but they wont talk to me in person its like theyre scared too.one of the boys talks to the other one about where they live but the other boy already knows where he lives.they also talk about other girls like trying to get me jealous or something he says " i wanna go out with " so and so but i dont know what hes tyring to do ... do you think he likes me ? or my friend what other signs would a boy do if they liked me ? my friend and i pass notes back and fourth and they try to look do they like me ?also one of them did a nod thing i dont know what it means and i asked him on here why he dosent talk to me in school he said i dont know on here and in art class he pulls up his shirt and his friends are at my table and he talks to them alot and stares at me he looks me in the eye but he has a gf theyve been together since june 05
Greeen mascara: he gets up at lunch time and looks over at my table do you think he likes me ? i dont know what he is trying to do he nods at me ... he told me on here that he nodded to me in school and i turned my head .. if i knew that i wouldnt have also he seems to follow me around school. i dont know whats up with him my bestfriend thinks that he likes me but no1 knows he will only talk to me online not in person it seems like he is scared . if anyone can please help IM me on greeenmascara thanks !!

No, I don't think he likes you. I think that you're taking this all way too seriously. You're basically just amounting these simple actions that he does in hopes that it will bring you to the conclusion that he likes you.

Stop living in your fantasies like this. I learned a long time ago that it will do you no good in the long run.

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My bestfriends mom passed away and she asked me to go to the service. BUt i have absolutely no idea on what i am supposed to wear. She catholic so idk if its different from different religions.

Is the service also the funeral.

Any advice please give.
thank you

Just wear something simple and black. You're supposed to wear black to any funeral, Catholic or otherwise. Make it nice, but it should be as unnoticeable as possible.

And yes, the service IS the funeral.

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I don't understand this...I'm already in the 9th grade...and ALL of my friends have boyfriends! What do guys look for in a girl? Because, to me, it looks like I don't have it. I'm NOT a pushover, I don't dress slutty, and I'm not flirty. Let's also say that "I'm not easy to "get to"". I don't know. I'm a VERY good student....and I get good grades....but this seems like somewhat of a turn off for guys. And those guys that are nerdy (but cute) too, still don't PAY attention to me! It's like I'm invisible...It's just not fair. ;_;

At this age, guys like girls who are cute, make themselves available at all times, and are easy to pick up. Intelligence is not exactly a turnoff---if they happen to be intelligent, fine. But intelligence is not what attracts most teenage boys.

Keep this in mind:

"Women are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Men don't want to reach for the good ones because thay are afraid of the falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't good, but easy to get. So the apples on top think something is wrong with them where in reality, they are amazing! They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

You just have to wait for that person to appear. However, DON'T change yourself and try to modify yourself so you're like the rotten apple that's easy to pick up. It will not make you happy, and you won't have a nice relationship at all.

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my friend is totally against kissing and making out before high school. i am only in 7th grade but for our school people make out all the time. when im talking to her i tend to tell her that im against it too, because i am. but my boyfriend kissed me the other day and i was so happy i ran into the cafeteria and i was about to tell her but then i remembered and acted like nothing happened. i dont know how im going to tell her and i want to tell her because i dont want to keep something like this secret from her. help please!

Usually, when people act like they're totally against kissing, it's because they secretly want to be kissed and they're just putting up a front to make themselves look tough. I know this from personal experience.

You can just go ahead and tell her. Even if she really IS against kissing, she's not going to say anything that would make you feel bad. You are, after all, her friend---if she behaves badly about it, then she doesn't deserve your friendship. Chances are, she'll probably change her views about kissing once it actually happens to her, or someone she's close to.

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Ok well Im 13 & I have never kissed a guy. I really want my first kiss because I just want to know what its like. I had my chance to kiss a guy before because when I was going out with my boyfriend(i dumped him a couple days ago) he asked me for a kiss but I said no because there were to many people around.

Im not say that im ugly or a geek or something, because I have had plenty of boyfriends, we just have never been at the right place at the right time ya know?

But anyway is it weird that im 13 & I havent had my first kiss yet?

Actually, it's much more unordinary for a 13-year-old to HAVE had their first kiss. Lots of kids brag that they had their first kiss when they were 7, but that doesn't really count. 13-year-old girls like to imagine out their first kiss, but most of them don't get it until at least a year later.

Your time will come. Don't rush it and do it with someone you're not interested in, because then it won't feel good at all. You want your first to be something special. You can only have it one time, so just wait for that person to come along. Plus, the longer you anticipate it, the better it will be when it actually happens. And all good things come to those who can wait, right?

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wherever i am i'm always cold!!! its mostly my hands that are cold. so my question is how can i get warm without having to overdress, and wear gloves inside????

signed
cold

This is going to sound totally ridiculous, but get some long underwear. It's basically like a really thin sweat suit that sticks to your body that you wear under your clothes. I know it sounds dorky, but it can really retain heat and keep you warm. And you can wear it under your clothes, so nobody will see.

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About 3 years ago, I fell in love with a band named Queen (as my username states :P). And well...what can I say? It was love at first listen. I FELL IN LOVE with Queen. I started collecting all of their CD's, books, vinyls, shirts, etc. I've had a crazy obsession with them for the past 3 years. My whole ROOM is Queen...I know the group members, and seen the two that are still alive in concert. Queen is all I ever talk and think about...they're like my second group of parents. I don't know whether its sick or not...but I've noticed it's been getting on people's nerves. Teachers have made comments telling me to lay off Queen. SO many friends have been annnoyed by my CONSTANT talk of Queen (I've also lost many friends because of it). Thing is -- I don't know what to do....This is clearly messing my relationships up. But I

It's perfectly normal. I too have an obsession with Queen---it's an absolutely brilliant band. There are too many favorite songs to list out right here, but a few of them include "Bohemian Rhapsody," "Somebody To Love," "Killer Queen," "Love Of My Life," "Save Me," "Don't Stop Me Now," "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy," "Sheer Heart Attack," "Tie Your Mother Down," and "Too Much Love Will Kill You." I also have a little crush on the late Freddie Mercury ;) Okay, I know he's dead, but he was still really hot and he had a voice of an angel. I'm totally obsessed with Freddie. He's my favorite male vocalist ever.

If you're worried about your obsession, then there's nothing you can really do about it. If you love it, you're not going to stop. However, as you get older, your interests will change and you'll grow out of Queen inevitably, though you'll still probably like it. It's what happens to every obsession.

Don't worry, it's just a phase. You'll get over it. However, I'd just recommend not talking about it to everyone all the time, even if you do write about it and do everything in mind of the band. People get irritated if you constantly talk about it. Just manage your impulsivities and try to keep people on your good side---as big as my obsession with Queen is, even *I* can do that.

And my S/N is LaffyTaffy3210. If you want to talk about Queen, I could talk about them forever. You can IM me about them at any time.

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so i need help please!! i got my hair highlighted in the summer blond some of it was like a pretty caramel and then i have some whitish strands of hair because the lady did it so light. i want to change the color of those strands but my sister said that it will dry out my hair and my hair will fall out if i do that. is that true? what can i do to take the white out of my hair? i hate it, it looks so fake :(

thanxx so much

No, it will not make your hair fall out. Just go to a drugstore and buy one of those permanent, caramel-colored Loreal hair dyes. I dye mine all the time.

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15/f.

My friend and I are watching Moulin Rouge and he said he was thinking of Satine and he was like "I wonder if she's thinking of me too," do guys actually think that?

i'd prefer answers from guys guys but I'll appreciate any answer:]

thanks in advance

Moulin Rouge is about as close to real life as Narnia is. There is not one iota of realism in that whole movie---the whole point of the movie is just to show off beautiful cinematography and the story is just an excuse for stylish, splendid musical numbers.

No, guys are not actually like that. The boy in that movie is about as close to being a real guy as Mickey Mouse is. Us girls would like to think that guys are like that, but it's not true at all.

There are exceptions of course, as there are exceptions to everything, but don't count on it.

And in response to your additional info, yes, movies just make up that kind of stuff to sell. Guys say things like that in movies so that girls get romantic fantasies and keep buying tickets to see it. But like I said, the guys in the movies are about as close to being like a real-life, 3D person as Mickey Mouse is.

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whats bondage. people on here ask about it, but whatt is it?

Bondage is a fetish that some people get their sexual kicks from.

Basically, the person ties up their partner to a pole and whips them, and they wear spiky leather collars and such. Some people enjoy the whole feeling of being helpless and being "under" someone. It's in the same alley as rape fantasies.

Another form of bondage is where a guy gets on his spiky leather collar and leash and has a "bondage mistress" in black boots take him out for a "walk" and whips him.

It's all very bizarre.

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waht should i do everybody hates me because im ugly how can i make me pretter so i can have more friends

If you don't have any friends, it's not because you're "ugly." Most people are not that shallow, and besides, my friend is rather plain-looking and she's one of the most popular girls in school. Another girl I know is extremely pretty, yet she has no friends.

You obviously have something wrong with your personality....it's either that you're an all-around unpleasant person to be around, or you just don't have the right social skills.

Since I don't know you personally, there's no way I could know why you have no friends. But I can tell you for sure that making yourself prettier is not going to give you more friends.

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With a musical theatre audition coming up: I'm looking for ways to improve my performance skills. It's at my highschool that has an outstanding program and although I've been casted in two of the plays as ensemble, I feel like my position was a last resort for the director. I'm a weak dancer and just very unusual with my movements, yet for auditions I'm convinced that I present myself well and characterize to an extreme. What are some risks I could take to let the director know I'm really serious about being casted?

Do you think you could add in the additional info what the musical is? I think I could help you more if I knew what the musical was....but I'll try my best.

Being a weak dancer comes at a disadvantage to you---to overcome it, you must practice the routine so much to the point that you have it down to a tee. If you're seriously dying to get the part and you are truly dedicated, get your homework done quickly so you can practice the routine every day for two hours or so. On weekends, practice EVEN MORE. I know it sucks, but you have to do things like this in order to get what you want in musical theater.

Rent a movie version of the musical (if there is a movie version) or a taped stage version----whatever you can find, and watch the dancer's every move. Observe everything, down to the way (s)he places his/her fingers. This is a great way to expand as a dancer.

The longer time you have before the audition, the better chance you will have of becoming a stronger dancer. Try to dance at least an hour a day----not only will it make you a stronger dancer and help you overcome your disadvantage, it is also great exercise.

On performing---first off, you must have your hair out of your face and slicked back. You have no idea how much easier it is to be expressive when your bare face is exposed to the audience.

Sleep well the night before and get up early in the morning to exercise and/or practice to get your energy up. You *must* have lots of energy when you're performing.

Happy practicing!!!!!

-Oma

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Why is it if someone who is thin looks unwell if they are drawn (tired, gaunt, haggard) but after they relax for a day or a week they look good again

If the thin person looks tired, gaunt and haggard, it means that they probably haven't gotten enough sleep. If they get to bed on time every night for a week or so, then they stop looking gaunt and tired and haggard and look good again.

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i have had my period for about 4 years now, and its pretty average. i got off my period about 3 days ago. and i started having some cramps this morning. now i dont know if its period cramps or what by my upper right leg, is so uncomfortable its like numb tingly cramp feeling and i cant keep still or get into a comfortable position. i have never had this before either./ but i took midol 4 hours ago, 2 hours ago it felt better and i couldnt feel then anymore but its starting up again and i dont know what i should do?

I highly doubt that it has anything to do with your period. If your period stopped 3 days ago, you're not going to get cramps.

Eat something and then take some Advil. Advil/Motrin/whatever does NOT work properly if you have an empty stomach.

If it persists, go see a doctor.

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The teacher is going to yell at me once I get back to school because I didn't do my work in this group project.

It was to write a big poem about something. So yeah, I had these 2 girls in my group to work with. They already got started. and .. well I can't work with them!

They weren't speaking ENGLISH .. and I don't know spanish! They both are like best friends so I couldn't butt into the conversation.. (I'm uber shy x3554343 :[)
And they were working on their own and each person had to write 3 stanzas.. but I had no clue what they wrote.
So i didn't want to repeat and get in trouble..

Is it really my fault?

They both got up and walked away right in the middle of it. They both worked together and forgot about me.

I dont know.

How rude of them. They have no right to exclude you like that. No, it's not your fault. They're just being a lousy group.

I've been with groups like that many times. I know all too well how uncomfortable and frustrating it can be.

Just go to the teacher and explain to him your predicament. Tell him exactly what you said in this post. He should understand.

If you're supposed to work on it OVER BREAK and you have no way of contacting him, do the whole thing yourself. I know that it's probably going to be useless, considering that your group won't work with you, but it's a backup plan so that you won't be completely lost. Also, at least he can't yell at you for having nothing done.

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So, I like this guy, okay? He's really sweet and cute and so nice and everything... but there's a problem... I already have a boyfriend. Don't start calling me a slut and everything but my boyfriend is starting to be really... boring. I knew him only for two days when he asked me out. Should I dump him or not?? If I shouldn't, tell me why I have to go pretend to like a guy I don't! It's torture......... =(
What should I do??

If you like someone else and you just aren't attracted to your boyfriend anymore, don't pretend that you like him when you don't. Just break up with him. However, don't tell him to his face that he's boring, and that you like someone else....that would hurt his feelings, and you don't want that. Just say that you don't think that you two make chemistry, or that you don't know him well and you prefer to go with someone you know well.....something like that. And don't jump on the other guy right after you break up. Give it a few weeks at the least before you make a move.

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