A friend of mine constantly changes guys. The thing is, she will only talk to them for a few days and think she is "in love" with them. I try to explain to her that she is not. Currently, she is stuck on a guy from another part of the state and she calls him her boyfriend and says she loves him and cannot go on without him. How can I give her a reality check without checking out of our friendship?
How old is she?
The reason I ask is because, sometimes-especially during the teenage years, this type of behavior becomes common among girls. It's not too serious, a lot of people grow out of this. (It's probably annoying for you more than anything.) However, if you're concerned that it's not a phase, or you're in your twenties...
You might want to accept that this is a behavior pattern. Is it a pattern of behavior that needs changing? Absolutely. Can you change it? No. When it comes to friends all you can really do is accept them for who they are, love them anyway, and... When their hearts get broken... You let them cry on your shoulder, hold their hand, and help them pick up the pieces. If she asks for your advice, you can give it to her, and she may even listen, but she probably won't follow it. You can't change her, only she can. One day she may want to change and ask for your help, but even then, she must be willing to help herself first.
If you just can't stand listening to her blab on about these guys... There are several things you could do. The first thing is to gently explain to her that you do not want to spend all your time together talking about someone else. This may be hard for her to understand and it may hurt her feelings, so think about what you're going to say to her and how you are going to say it carefully before you have this conversation. Sometimes, distraction can work really well. Don't interrupt, but when you get a chance to do so, change the topic. Or, when the two of you are hanging out, make sure there is some kind of activity for her to focus on.
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This might be long but I just need someone to hear me out.
I am not a young immature teenage girl who thinks i fell in love.
I met my ex boyfriend 5 years ago and the sparks were immediate we fell in love and spent 3 long years together and then 2 on and off. he was not always faithful and he would toy with me a lot, but we always had this intense chemistry. He left me for girl number 1 but would always come back to me and sleep with me telling me that he wanted me back but it was never true. We dated on and off like this with so many different girls in between for years and I loved him so much. We went to the same college and we were trying it out again and he told me i needed to let him in and he would be there for me forever and the reasons he cheated on me was because i was too guarded ( which i was). I finally thought i let him in but a week later he stopped talking to me all together and was with another girl at our school. I felt like he purposely tried to find me every time he was with her just to taunt me and this time he didt come back and talk to me once or twice but never like he used to. I hadn't spoken to him in months, but i still thought of him everyday. He texted me out of the blue telling me how horrible she was and he was ending it. A few weeks later we video chatted and he told me it was over with her and he persuaded me to well expose myself for him. The next day i found out that he was with her still. I feel so betrayed that to him i am nothing but a random girl that he can use to get off. The sad part is i still feel a large attachment to him that i cant shake i love him still and he cant even respect me. I've tried to date but boys only see me as a booty-call. for example at work the other day i heard some customers saying that I look like a " good lay" but too stupid to be a girlfriend. Im not stupid Im top of my class. I admit i let some boys take advantage of me while i was trying to get over my ex because i wanted to feel wanted. Now i'm in a horrible place where i feel like i will never get over this guy if i feel like no one will ever genuinely want me. Any ideas about how to give off a vibe that will attract the proper type of guys ( i don't dress provocatively or anything). How do I forget about someone i love who clearly doesnt care about me. time is not working.
Thank-you
Okay, let me tell you a story.
I have this friend, we'll call her Amy. Amy is gorgeous, funny, fun to be around, kind, generous, and wonderful in so many ways, I could probably write a five page paper all about how awesome she is.
However, Amy has a problem. She is forever dating losers. Wait, let me rephrase that... Amy is forever falling in love with losers. And Amy is the type of person that, once she loves someone she gives herself to them completely, bends over backward to make them happy, compromises, sacrifices, and hangs on as tight as she can for as long as she can.
And you know what happens? Guys treat her like shit. Seriously, EVERY guy she has ever loved has treated her like garbage. They cheat on her, break up with her yet continue to lead her on, until they finally leave her. She doesn't dress like a slut, infact, I don't think she's slutty at all.
If you asked me why Amy's love life is in the state it's in, I would tell you how her father neglected and verbally abused her... I'd tell you how he wounded her self-esteem. I would tell you that ever since then, she's secretly thought that something is really wrong with her... And because she believes something is wrong with her (even though there's nothing wrong with her at all) she latches on to the first guy that pays attention to her and she hangs on no matter how he abuses her.
If you asked my boyfriend the same question he would answer: because she's a bimbo. No, really... He said that to me one night. I remember my mouth falling open in silent outrage, and, once I had collected myself, I demanded that he explain himself. This is what he told me: Amy is a bimbo because she would do ANYTHING to keep a guys attention, no matter how degrading. Guys cheat on her because they know they can get away with it and still sleep with her later. Basicly, guys treat her like garbage because they know they can. And because Amy is a bimbo, no guy is going to seriously consider trying to have a relationship with her. Guys want to _date_ girls that are confident and that respect themselves.
The truth is, both my boyfriend and I are right about Amy.
No, you're not stupid. And I believe you when you say that you don't dress like a slut. The problem is that you've let too many guys treat you like an object because you don't love yourself the way you should. If you really want to change this...
First of all, take some time off from dating. If you're still mourning the loss of your ex, you don't need to be seeing anyone else. Why? Because it's unfair to them and you. If you try to bury the hurt you're feeling now and distract yourself with someone else, that hurt is NOT going to go away. You may not feel it all the time, but it's in there somewhere, way down deep inside. And the longer it remains there without being acknowledged, the more it festers. So, grieve your loss. Cry until you can't cry anymore. Get angry. Write him angry letters that you will never send. Call him every nasty name and list every reason why he was WRONG and stupid to treat you the way he did. Beat your pillow. Buy a nerf bat and go to town on some furniture. And, when you are exhausted...
Get up and go stand in front of a mirror. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, smart, and a good person and you deserve someone that values you. Make a pact with yourself... Tell yourself that you are not going to settle for some moron that can't properly see how wonderful you really are. Spend some time alone getting to know yourself. When you can tell me ten things that you really like about yourself... When you can tell me that you don't need a man because you're just fine and quite happy all by yourself...
Then you are ready to date.
The first thing that you should know about dating is that it is a numbers game. Unfortunately, the sucky guys out-number the good guys so, chances are you're going to meet a rotten egg before you meet a keeper. The good thing about confident, happy by yourself YOU, is that YOU are going to weed out a large number of the losers on sight. But never trust sight alone...
Think of the first few dates you go on with a guy as a series of interviews. You're here to get to know him, to find out if you like him and whether or not you think the two of you are compatible. If you meet some guy you _think_ might be special, don't rush into a relationship. Take your time. Go slow. If he really likes you and thinks you're relationship material, he'll hang in there. He won't try to push you into having sex because he'll respect you. (That's why waiting for sex is important. Think of it as a test he has to pass.)
And once you're boyfriend and girlfriend... Listen carefully cause this is important and so many people forget what I'm about to say... Don't let him start treating you like dirt. The difference between a bimbo and lady is simple: a bimbo lets men treat her like garbage, a lady does not. Stay a lady. Trust me, the right guy will treat you like the lady you are.
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Every single time I'm in a relationship, I never know what to do. I get so nervous that I barely even talk to whoever I'm going out with. When I break up with them, it's really hard for me to do. My first boyfriend was 2 years older than me and went out with my best friend. We became really good friends, and a month after their break up, we started going out. Before we talked on the phone EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, but then it was like I was completely speechless. And when he would try to get close to me or kiss me I would always turn away, really nervous. I ended up breaking up with him with that as one of the reasons. When I was going out with my second boyfriend, I felt torn because I thought I was still in love with my ex. I think it's hard for me to be in a relationship because of my nervousness because I feel really insecure about myself. It's not like I'm like that with my friends (that are girls). What should I do???
I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you're in your teens. When I was in my teens, I also had the same problem. It's like I would automatically shut down every time someone that I was interested in romantically even so much as looked at me.
The problem for me was that I was so insecure and self-conscious that anytime someone did take an interest in me, I would feel embarrassed by their attention and affection. I had a hard time understanding why any guy would be interested in me.I kept comparing myself to the girls on TV and in magazines and I always felt like I wasn't pretty or thin enough. I compared myself to my sister and always felt like I wasn't smart or accomplished enough.
But you know what? I am all the things I never thought I was and more. It took a long time for me to realize that and it wasn't an easy task.
I wish I had a twelve-step method for you, to help you see how wonderful you really are. Unfortunately, there isn't one. All I can tell you is insecurity is a common problem for everyone, everywhere, of every age. The best advice: never compare yourself to anyone else. You may think that someone else is prettier, smarter, or better than you, but in all truth, you're wrong in one way or another. Don't let other people tell you who you should be, decide for yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not. It's a miserable sort of lie and you'll only be betraying yourself by cheating everyone else of the chance to know the real you. You are unique, there is only and will ever be only one YOU, and YOU can't be replaced. Believe in yourself at all times. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and don't beat yourself up when you do make one. Doing nice things for other people for no obvious reason will make you feel good about yourself. Lastly, look in the mirror and focus on all the things you LIKE about yourself.
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So, my boyfriend has had an issue with escaping into gaming and porn. It got so bad at one point, that he would turn me down on a fairly regular basis, but was jerking off daily at work in the bathroom.
We had a lot of fights/tears over this, I asked him to cut back and every time he said he would, but if I looked at his phone, he hadnt. He told me I can check any time, but of course I'm sure he can edit his history. He has always told me he would never edit his history.
Recently, we had such a huge fight over all of this, to the point that I was very upset and sick about all of this, and wondering whether I could live this way. He promised that he would do his best to stay away, that he would massively cut back.
Just the other night, he volunteered straight up that he "cant remember the last time he masturbated". And I havent checked his phone, or computer, so I wouldnt know, as I have been trying to trust in what he says and not focus on that.
Today, I come home from work, and while we usually spend the mornings together, he had a whole hour and a half without me. So as he had said I could, I opened up the computer.
Unfortunately for him, he wasnt smart enough to realize that if you edit your internet history, you should probably close the history tab, and click "done editing history". So its google chrome, so I immediately click "new tab" and "recently closed" and sure enough, he'd edited out looking at porn.
You know, I expected him to cut back, not become a nun. He knows that. If he's now editing though, I cant trust he's even cutting back, just that he's lying to me and humoring me. I fear if I asked over the next couple days, I would get a similar response of not remembering the last time he did it, or some such nonsense.
My question is this. Am I just supposed to find a way to accept it? I'm having a lot of trouble with this. I love him, I want to be with him, but I have a real issue with the way porn has affected our relationship, and want it at least mostly out of the equation, at least for a while. But now he's editing his history and still looking.
Do I accept it, or keep fighting? Is there even any point in fighting something when he can hide his tracks whenever he wants? I cant trust that he wont edit it, at this point.
I'd like to explain that it is perfectly normal for men to watch porn and masturbate. Infact, I would worry if I met a man that honestly DID NOT watch porn or masturbate. Most of the time, this behavior is normal, even healthy, and has very little to do with you. You are not competing with the internet or his right hand... It's just something to do when he's horny and you're not around.
However, when porn and masturbation start to effect YOUR sex life, that's when it has officially become a problem. (I know from personal experience.) You said that at one point he was turning you down on a regular basis and jerking off instead. That's not good and you've got a right to be upset about that.
But, but, but... What's going on now? If you two aren't having problems in the sack anymore, maybe you should ignore the occasional porn search. If that's not the case...
I understand that you love him and that breaking up is hard. (Been there, done that, own the t-shirt and matching pants.) But if this continues to be a problem, you might be better off kicking him to the curb. The reason I say this is because, if he'd rather masturbate than have sex with a real girl, he might be addicted to porn. If he is addicted to porn, there is little you can do to solve the problem--it's something he has to fix himself. We all like to believe that love will conquer all. The truth is, you can love someone to bits but you can't change who they are or solve their problems if they aren't willing to help themselves first.
As for the sexual advice in the previous posts... If you decide to stay and would like to spice things up in the bedroom, trying anything that doesn't make you uncomfortable is just fine. However, spicing things up doesn't mean that you have to watch porn with him. You could try giving him a massage, wearing a sexy outfit, etc. One of the things that I have done recently: every now and then I stumble upon one of those Cosmo-ish articles about sex and 'What Men Want.' I save the articles I like and show them to my boyfriend later to find out what he thinks. The best way to please your partner is simple: ask. Have a conversation about it and try to be open with each other.
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This is more a question for the ladies, but men are perfectly welcome to answer it too.
I'm a guy (obviously) and I've had long hair since I was about 17 or so (I'm 23 now). From a personal standpoint I like having long hair but I'm beginning to wonder if people see something different than what I really am when they look at me. This is especially true of the women I've dated. I seem to attract the type of women who are the complete opposite of me. Myself I'm fairly deep into the conservative side of things, I'm religious, etc... But my exes, who were attracted to guys with long hair, were almost my complete opposites on many views which eventually resulted in break-ups. I've been called a "hippie" and a few other things when I'm actually a very conservative soul.
So I guess my questions are... Do some women (possibly the ones that I would like to be with) take guys with long hair seriously? What is your first impression about the personality of a long haired guy? Do we all seem like flippant elf-boys on first glance?
I'm looking for honest opinions, not what you "THINK you'd think" but rather what you really do think if that makes any sense. And if you find this topic funny, feel free to laugh, as I am laughing right now when writing it. Also, sorry if this is in the wrong category, but I couldn't think of a better one, even the relationship category.
This is just MY opinion...
Generally, I like guys with shorter hair. To me it just looks... more masculine, more professional, and usually... cleaner.
I actually had this conversation with a guy friend recently. He's a teacher's aid and was wondering if perhaps he should cut his hair to appease both the faculty and the parents. While that shouldn't matter... I did tell him the same thing... And that, when he had cut his hair before, I had really liked it.
You could always try cutting it and if you don't like it, just grow it back out. ;)
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Hey there:
Sometimes there are girls that I want to date no matter of what religion they are in and there are other times that I only want to date someone who is catholic which is what I am. In this question, I'm kinda asking for advice on this matter and would like your personal opinions as well. What do you think of the idea of dating someone who isn't the same religion as you? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?
Really, that depends on you... If you're uber religious, which is not a bad thing, most likely you will need to be with someone that shares your personal beliefs, otherwise this could cause trouble down the road if you decide to pursue a more serious relationship. If you're the type of person that has a set of beliefs but is open-minded enough to agree to disagree with others, then it could work... As long as the person you are trying to date is equally open-minded.
From my own personal experience... Well, I'm a rare breed. I'm very spiritual, but can't tolerate dogma at all. Most of the more successful relationships that I've had... Have been with people similiar to me. We didn't agree on everything, but when it came to the 'important things' we usually saw eye to eye. Dating someone associated with an organized religion usually didn't go so well because of differences concerning religious tolerance, homophobia and so on. Dating agnostics and atheists usually doesn't go so well either, because I don't appreciate being made to feel ignorant simply because I believe in a higher power. But that's just me.
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so i just went to apply for a job and i had to fill out a questionaire.
some things i didnt know what to say were like: "what percent of americans do you think cheat on their taxes?" and "what percent of politicans do you think are dishonest?" and "your friends would say you are a) carefree or b) careful and seriousminded)
i didnt know what the right thing to say was!!!! =[ im really worried. any thoughts?
It's a psyche test. These are actually pretty common. There is no right or wrong answer, their trying to get a feel for your personality. So long as you answered with the first answer that popped into your head and were honest... You probably did just fine. And if you didn't, that's okay. There will be other applications, other jobs ;)
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i think i somehow got myspace 2.0 and i tried going to customize profile and all that it says is i need to download a new web browser. there is no button that says "go back" ... can you please help me?
I'm not sure... But that's probably just what it is. Try downloading Internet Explorer Version 7... I have it and my Myspace 2.0 works just fine. You should be able to download it for free from the official Microsoft website.
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So there's this girl I like. Problem is I move an hour away in a couple months :(. Anyway, I don't have a lot of relationship experience. I see this girl in person a couple times a week (our group of friends hang out) and recently we've been texting more often and it's always a little flirty. Anyway, I would totally love it if she called me, so I'm thinking she might like it just as much if I called her. First question, if there was a guy you liked or were just getting to know, would you like it if they called you? Second, what should I talk about? Third, should I keep it short or what? Finally, would it be goofy to get a call from a guy and not have them ask you out or anything (I want to, just not sure its the best time yet)?
I think you should call her. If she likes you she'll be happy to hear from you, even if you can't think of anything to say.
Don't worry about what you're going to say or whether or not you're going to ask her out. Just call... And if she asks why you called... You could just say, 'I thought of you and was wondering what you're doing.' Or, 'Just wanted to see how you're day is going.' A good way to start a conversation is just to ask her questions. Try to think of open-ended questions though... Not questions that could be answered either 'yes' or 'no.' Your goal is to get the ball rolling by getting her to talk first. (Preferably talking a lot, especially if you're shy or nervous.)
As for call length... Determine by gauging the conversation. If she has a lot to say, then keep it going for as long as possible. If she's short with her answers, or doesn't really seem to be trying to maintain the conversation... Make up an excuse to get off the phone.
If it goes well... You could ask her if she wants to meet you for coffee sometime in the near future. If you're feeling too nervous, just end the conversation with, 'Well, it was really nice talking to you,' and ask when you're feeling more comfortable.
Good luck with this one, dear! I'm sending positive thoughts your way :P
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You say it is important to deal with the issues that are causing nightmares. How would you go about analyzing a dream and knowing why you have that nightmare?
Hmm...
First, try to identify common themes and symbols.
For example: all my nightmares featured different villians trying to harm me in various scenarios. However, I identified common themes... Most villians were fictional characters. (Meant that my subconcious wasn't trying to antagonize a certain person. The 'villian' was only secondary. What was important was how I _responded_ to the villlian.) I responded to most villians similiarly... I would run away. (Symbolic of how I tried to 'escape' problems in the waking world by either repressing or ignoring my feelings, avoiding a person that had hurt me instead of confronting them, etc.)
Ask yourself these questions: who is the villian? If the villian is someone that you know... What is your relationship with that person like? In your nightmares, how do you respond to the villian? If the villian is not a person... Then what is it? Is it a natural disaster? An accident? Unforseen death or trauma?
Symbols may be specific objects that continue to appear in your dreams, seemingly without rhyme or reason. Play a game... Write down what the symbol is and then what you think of in the first five seconds of hearing that word. Now what do you associate with the second word? Keep going...
If you visit your local bookstore you'll find numerous 'dream dictionaries.' I have found these books to be ineffective simply because symbols mean different things to different people. An excellent example is the swastika. Most people identify the swastika as being a negative symbol because of association with the Natzi party and white supremestists. But the original meaning of the symbol, before being adopted my Hitler, was very different and actually positive.
So ask yourself... What do I personally associate with this symbol? Does it remind me of anything?
You could also try working the problem from the other end. What I mean is... What is going on in your life right now? Are you stressed out? Why? Because of work or school? Are you having problems with your family, friends, significant other? Are you depressed? If so, why do you think that is?
Then... See if what you are encountering in the waking world connects in anyway to what is happening in your dreams.
If you're not having any luck, or would like a second opinion... Please feel free to describe your dreams to me. I may not be able to interpret your dreams for you... But I may be able to present you with an idea that may prove helpful in your own interpretation.
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how do i change bac to the old myspace cuz the avdice 6out go bac ddnt wrk?
Hmm... I only know how to do it that way. When all else fails, I suggest visiting Tom's page. If he doesn't have the information there, contact tech support.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help!
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For a long time now I have suspected that my father has been cheating on my mother. It's not necessarily that he's suspiciously left the house or anything, just that I'd noticed a lack of love between my parents. The, one day, I went to ask him something, and I saw a "sexsearch" website on the computer screen. I chose to ignore it and pretended I hadn't seen it. A few months past, and I was looking for the iPod my mother had taken away from me when I stumbled upon an unused condom in a draw next to my dad's side of the bed. Once again, ignoring it, although I was emotionally scarred just by the fact that it was there. Anyway, just a few hours ago, my mother, whom is technologically illiterate, asked me to pull something up from her history. She had been searching for a puppy, but got misdirected and did not want to have to perform the search again. I promptly did so, and stupid me couldn't help but look at the history from two weeks prior. Sex, sex, sex, and I know it wasn't my mom. I can understand viewing porn, but there was a site that was something to the tune of "search for sex in your city." I was mortified, but I couldn't let my mother see that. I very well know it is not place to say anything about it, but I can't help but feel bad. My mother is very ditzy and most likely hasn't the slightest clue as to what's going on. That makes me feel even worse. The only thing I don't understand is when he's doing these activities. He doesn't leave the house or anything...although a few nights ago he did leave without saying anything. So I ran upstairs to check where the condom had been before, and it was still there. Sooo, I'm confused. I had also seen something in 7th grade where we was doing a sexual RP with some angel67675 or something like that. I would like to believe that that is all he is doing, sense that would make the most sense. However, his recent disappearance worries me. Whether he's cheating or not, I won't mention it until my brother is out of college (he's 9 now and I'm 16) because I don't want him to have such a traumatizing experience at his age, or at any point in his childhood. And unfortunately, my mother is ditzy enough that she'll probably never notice either. Anyway, any sort of advice you can give would be much appreciated.
My mother and my step-father were married for 16 years. When I was 7 years of age, my mother started to discuss her marital issues with me... At 16, she told me that she suspected that he was cheating on her and asked me to hack into his email account. I did. We didn't find anything... But that isn't the point.
The point is... That when two people are experiencing marital difficulties, including infidelity, those issues are their business and should remain their business only. I know that you're concerned... And I applaud your sensitivety to the situation. But this is not your problem. If you try to make it your problem you're just going to hurt yourself. It will also negatively impact the relationship you have with both your parents.
So... Whether or not your dad is cheating... Whether or not your mother is clueless... Let the so-called adults take care of themselves. This simply isn't your responsibility. I know how difficult it can be to step away from a situation like this... And really, I totally sympathize with you. But... Step away, dear.
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I broke up with my boyfriend two nights ago. We had been together for 5 months. He told me he was beginning to fall in love with me. He is the Perfect boyfriend. I felt completely comfortable when i was around him, he made me laugh, smile-at my worst, he was the best listener, we could talk about everything and anything, he got along Perfectly with my family and sibilings, there is Nothing wrong wit him. and yet. after 5 months, i didnt feel emotionally attached to him. i want to so badly. i wish i could with everything in me. and realizing that he was falling in love and i wasnt close to it at all made me feel miserable.i know it was the right thing to do. iknow i was hurting him so much more by being with him and not feeling emotionally attached. but i feel miserable! ive felt so crappy every since we broke up. i feel this constant tightness in my chest. and i keep having him in my dreams all night long. all of my friends kept telling me over and over to do it and that i needed to have the guts to do it. and now that i have i feel terrible. and i miss him. well i dont miss Him but i miss talking to him, and constantly having him around. what can i do??? all of my dreams are about giving it more time. is 5 months enou???. please help. i cant stand this miserable feeling any longer!
Oh... I know this feeling.
I've done the same thing... Twice. The first guy... He was just such a nice guy, the type of guy that I thought I ought to date. We dated for six months and when I realized that he was becoming emotionally attached and that I just couldn't reciprocate his feelings... I let him go.
The second guy... We were together for two years. We lived together for eighteen months. And months before we broke up... I knew that I had to face the music, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to hurt him, with ever fiber of my being. I kept asking myself over and over, if it could just be any other way... Because I did love him, just not the right way.
The truth is... If you can't love someone the way you should, you need to let them go (no matter how much it hurts the both of you) and give them the opportunity to find someone that can love them the way you can't. And if you're waiting to fall in love with someone, chances are that you're never going to. So... You did the right thing.
I know what you're going through. You probably feel really guilty for hurting him. And also... There is now a void in your life where he used to be. After my ex left... I cried myself to sleep, I cried again in the morning when I woke up and he wasn't there... I cried when I saw his stuff. I cried when I saw pictures of us. And when I went about my day, it felt so strange. Strange that I wasn't going to see him when I went home. Strange that he wasn't going to text me or call. Strange that it was all over.
Because... Even though I didn't love him the way he loved me, I still missed him. And even though I had been the one to end it all, I still had to mourn the death of the relationship.
I know it's not much comfort... But what you're going through is normal. I know at times it seems unbearable, but it is going to be okay. Time will pass, and this will get easier. Until then... If you need to cry, cry. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. But if you didn't love him, don't try to get back together with him for the wrong reasons.
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I'm 15yrs old, female, sophomore in highschool. I'm turning 16 over the summer, and then starting Junior Year. And I want to pursue a career in art or dance. I have a great amount of natural talent in both of those areas. But I was wondering what my best options are?
I'm homeschooled right now, so from jr.-sr. year i could stay homeschooled, or go to a private school. (christian school) whats the best option? I took a break from taking dance classes for a year or two, is it too late to get back into dance? (before college, that is)
and what's the best way to reach my full potential in both these areas, before college? Becuase even though I posess natural talent, I know that nothing replaces proper instruction. help!
Really... I think you could accomplish your goal whether you attend private school or continue to home-school. If your parents are willing to pay the tuition for a private school, they may also be willing to pay for private classes.
And I'd like to ask... Is your career really the issue? Or are you missing the social interaction? The reason that I ask is because I was homeschooled from the 7th grade until the 10th grade. And right about the time that I was your age, I wanted to attend a regular school and be among my peers. Maybe it's not the same for you... But if it is, your desire is valid and you need to discuss this with your parents ASAP.
As for the specific career questions... It's never to late to do anything. Just because you've been out of the mix for a while doesn't mean that you can't accomplish your goal. It may be a little harder, it may take a little longer... But if you really want something, you're going to have to work hard for it anyway. And I think that now is a little early to decide between dance or art. How about taking both and then deciding, after a while, which you'd rather pursue?
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I read an article recently suggesting that lucid dreaming can help someone suffering from nightmares cope. Is there anything you can do to encourage lucid dreaming in yourself? I had a nightmare about a week ago in which I realized what was happening couldn't be happening, and then the dream took a sudden turn for the better. Does that sound like a lucid dream?
I am a lucid dreamer. I've never read a book about lucid dreaming... But I can tell you what I've learned from experience.
When I was a child... Before lucid dreaming... Whenever I had a nightmare I was always, always running. Running away from whatever villian my subconcious had created... Either toward the door or toward the car. I would wake while I was either trying to unlock the car door, or right before I managed run out of my house.
Then... When I was a teenager... I was having a nightmare one day, during the afternoon... And I realized that I was asleep. I woke myself somehow. After that... Whenever I had a nightmare, I would just wake myself up.
So... 1.) If you want to lucid dream, try taking a nap or sleeping at an hour when usually you would be awake. I can't promise that it will work for you... But I've noticed that most of my lucid dreaming occurs when I'm well rested but still sleeping. Usually between the hours of 1-3 pm.
Also... I would like to mention that, because I was avoiding my own subconcious... I started to have nightmares on a more frequent basis. The nightmares only decreased when I started to make life changes.
2.) Your subconcious is your friend. Pay attention to what you're trying to tell yourself. Keep a pen and piece of paper by your bed to record your dreams. When you wake up, lay in the bed for a minute and think about the dream. Most people forget their dreams within the first 10 seconds of waking. But if you try to commit it to memory first, you have a better chance at being able to write it down. Then... Analyze. What are you trying to tell yourself?
3.) If you're trying to cope with nightmares... The most effective steps could be taken while you're awake. If you know the issue behind the nightmare and start taking the proper steps toward dealing with that issue... Most likely your nightmares will either become less frequent or stop altogether.
Upon reaching adulthood... One morning I dreamt that a member of my family was in danger. During this dream... I realized that I was asleep but did not attempt to wake myself. Instead... I fought the villian. And the nightmare didn't end until I was victorious. Since then... I very rarely have nightmares anymore.
During the past few years... Lucid dreams have been really, really infrequent. At first... I sort of missed it. Then I realized that the reason I didn't have lucid dreams too often anymore is because I didn't need to.
Lucid dreaming is over-rated, in my opinion. Fun. But over-rated. The reason I say that... Dreams and nightmares serve a purpose. Just as emotions, such as fear and anger. And, just as it's important for us to pay attention to our emotions, I think it's important for us to pay attention to our dreams. Including the bad ones. And sometimes... When we try to control something, we end up ingnoring it completely...
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I have myspace2.0
but I want to switch back
I know you're supposed to go to account options, but I can't see it anywhere.
Help?
Go to 'Customize Profile.' Once you are in the Myspace 2.0 editor, you will see a button at the top, right side of the screen labeled 'Go Back.' Click this button and a pop-up will ask you whether or not you want to revert to Myspace 1.0. You know the rest...
:)
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To be able to establish context and to get more information I urge you to check my previouse question at http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=560267
That said.
I mustered the courage to go talk to him today. I seem to have implied wrongly that we talk on a frequent casual basis which is utterly untrue... (unfortunately!).
With some effort today (considering the scarce unusual free time i had on my hand) I managed to look a little more attractive and "easy" to the eye... a little grown up so to speak. For some reason the only eyes that seem to turn are the eyes I don't want looking. I even mustered the courage to come up with a reason to go ask for information at the info desk where he was today. Fortunately i only resorted partially the idiotic plan my friends gave me... I indeed had a research paper and went to ask for some references (which would have taken me more time to find on my own but not impossible) we talked for a few seconds... obviously my question was idiotic and obvious... but I didn't care... even though I sort of got the hint that I am not really attracting him that much... he checked me out but there was no signs of interests beyond that.... in a moment of rationality (devoid of any emotional bias -I promise!) I realized that he seems to be nice because i'm so transparent and in a way i boost his ego...? I don't know... I might be over analyzing but i find it so hard to ignore my head even though it's emotionally tormenting me!!
what way is there, for me to establish a conversation or create a situation without me having to initiate it? in other words: is it humanly possible for me to get him to come to me on his own? without any direct influence...
Today is the first time I talked to him in a long time (since last summer? which was when we were able to make small talk) and i wouldn't even consider it talking (since i could have been talking to anyone else in the same way)... I can't read him anymore... i know he knows me but it's like it went back to formalities again even though we both recognize this bridge has been crossed already. He tenses up when he sees me and I don't know if it's nerves or if he is cringing at the sight of me since i no longer give that ego boost...
arghhh what is wrong with me? I've never been this irrational, nor have I been this emotional, or giddy :(
advice! how to eliminate these feeling, block them or otherwise, or how do i make it work!? I can't focus on Hume anymore!!!!!!
1. You're insecure. Stop it. I can tell by the way you talk and describe yourself that you're attractive, intelligent, and interesting. You're a REAL catch... And the sooner you realize that about yourself, the easier this dating business is going to be.
2. You're a late-bloomer. That's okay. So you've never really had a boyfriend. Think of the people that have. It's very rare to meet a person that's still with their first love at 23. It's almost just as rare to meet a person at 23 that's in a healthy relationship with long-term potential. I know you feel like you're missing out... But really, you're not. You're just moving at your own pace. And as cliche and corny as it sounds... Life is not a race.
3. Don't waste your time fretting over a man that lacks the confidence, or is just too d*mn lazy, to ask you if he can (at the very least) buy you a cup of coffee. I know that's difficult. (Really, I do.) But if you're stressing over him, you may be too distracted to notice another man that is trying to grab your attention.
4. I believe you mentioned that you aren't very good at the whole flirting thing. Not important. I promise. Again, I will sound corny and cliche... But just be yourself. I've met A LOT of guys that responded to me... Just being me. I suck at flirting. (But I've learned that it takes little more than eye contact, a smile, and a few nice words to encourage a guy that is interested in you. And that's all flirting really is anyway.)
So... While I know it's easier said than done: chill. It doesn't matter what this guy thinks of you. Wake up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror, and say, 'It's fantastic to be me.' If you see him, be polite but don't go out of your way to make conversation. Let him chase you. No prodding. And if he doesn't chase you... Say, 'His loss' and give another guy the opportunity to be smitten by you.
Maybe the insight into his character was right. And if it is... Your complete lack of effort is going to drive him b*tsh*t. (Trust me. I have met this type of guy before. More than once.) Just proceed with caution... You have more important things to do than boost his ego.
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20/f
This is kind of a legal question... but I put it into Etiquette because that's the closest.
I got my licence a couple of months ago (I'm not from America so I'm only a couple years late getting it!) and a month into getting it I accidently reversed into someone in a car park. I admit I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been, and it was entirely my fault. Anyway, I got out of the car and apologised to the woman about 4 times. She was really nice and said it was fine, there was more damage to my car than hers (I had a tiny scratch on the bumper, and she had no damage.. it's a tow bar afterall) So since there was no damage, I got in the car and drove away.
A couple of weeks later my boyfriend (whos car I was driving) gets a phone call from the police. They heard about the incident and want to clear it up. I call back and the policeman who is dealing with the incident is on leave for a month, so I can't clear it up.
I haven't been able to rest ever since this happened, I'm so stressed out because I'm worried something is going to happen to me. I don't know what I've done wrong, or what is going to happen.
Should I go in and give a statement even though the policeman isn't there, just so it's off my head? Why would this woman go report me to the police? How much trouble can I get into? etc.
Hoping someone can help. Thanks.
The only reason that I can think of that she would report the incident to the police so long after the accident happened... Is that something is wrong with her car. Could be there was damage from the accident that she didn't know about when you drove away... Or, she's trying to get some money out of you. To file a claim through the insurance company, I'm fairly certain she would have to have a police report.
Don't freak out. If the police were going to arrest you, they would have done so all ready. And if the department was taking this incident seriously, they wouldn't have assigned an officer to your case after knowing that he'd be gone for a month. Most likely, you'll have to tell the police officer your side of the story, she'll tell her side of the story, and after that he'll write an official report stating what happened for the use of the insurance company. A citation may or may not be issued to the faulty party... And even if you are issued a citation, it's not a big deal. Most likely you'll pay a fine and that will be that.
If you have car insurance, you don't have to worry about the woman suing you personally. Most likely she'd try to get some money out of the insurance company... Which is never, never easy. (Especially since she did not call a police officer when the accident actually happened. Insurance companies take fraud very seriously and she WILL be investigated.) The price of your car insurance may go up a bit as a result.
I suggest... If you've been told that the police officer handling your case is away, just wait until he gets back. If you went to the station, you'd most likely be told the same thing.
Don't sweat it. It'll be okay ;)
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I met this girl through a mutual friend and we have been communicating online and texting (I don't move to her town until this summer). I know she likes me too. Her ex boyfriend assaulted some dude recently and actually got sentenced to 2 years in jail today. Also today, I see that they got back together. How can they be a relationship if he's going to jail? Would this potentially mean that I still have a shot with her? I'm hoping that maybe she is just freaking out about one of her best friends going to jail and said she'd get back together with him, but nothing will happen once she actually realizes that he'll be gone for 2 years.
O-kay... Look, I don't know what's going on with this girl... And if you don't either, it's probably best just to ask.
But, but, but... If she really is back with this dude, for any other reason excluding temporary insanity, me-thinks this may not be the right girlie for you.
My thoughts are this... (By the way, I remember some of your previous questions. I have an upgraded account so I can do that... But don't freak out or anything because you're still 100% anonymous.) Anyway... You mentioned before that this girl (I'm assuming it's the same one) has been in a lot of awful relationships. Are you noticing a pattern here? Because I think I'm noticing a pattern. What I'm getting at is... Dude, she might have some emotional/relationship issues that she needs to work out before she can have a healthy relationship. Until she does, I don't really think you should... Um... Pursue her.
I think I answered one of your questions before... And I said 'go for it' or something to that affect. I was hoping that she'd come to her senses... Giving her the benefit of the doubt, what have you... But now... I'm just not so sure. I mean, DUDE, he's going to prison.
I could be wrong... But it's a thought. So... Think about it. I'm pretty sure that's not what you wanted to hear... Sorry. But I'm beginning to get a wee-bit concerned.
Best wishes!
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i've heard that when you have a nightmare its because there's a spirit sitting on top of your chest, and thats why you get up feeling like you cant breathe.. is that true? i've also heard that if you put a cup of water under your bed in the center, it'll drown all the nightmares.
My opinion: it's an old story from long, long ago... An attempt to explain the meaning of a mystery long before psychology.
The reason for the cup of water goes something like this... Years ago, people believed that water, mirrors, basicly any reflective surface could become a trap for spiritual beings. That's why some people still cover all the mirrors in a house after a person has died there. It's an attempt to keep the recently deceased from stumbling into a place from which they may not escape, and help them proceed to the world beyond.
In my opinion... Nightmares are a way for your subconcious to acknowledge fears that your concious self tries to deny. If you have a lot of nightmares on a regular basis, you might try recording what you can remember and then trying to anaylze the dream for the hidden meaning. For example, whenever I was in a bad relationship I'd usually have dreams involving ex-boyfriends. I figured out after a while that, when I was in a relationship and I was experiencing problems, being an 'escapist' I would try to escape the misery of my current relationship by fantasizing about previous boyfriends-these fantasies being built on memories of 'the good times.' Once the REAL problem was acknowledged and I involved myself in the solution, the dreams usually stopped.
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