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feel crappy about breaking up with my bf
I broke up with my boyfriend two nights ago. We had been together for 5 months. He told me he was beginning to fall in love with me. He is the Perfect boyfriend. I felt completely comfortable when i was around him, he made me laugh, smile-at my worst, he was the best listener, we could talk about everything and anything, he got along Perfectly with my family and sibilings, there is Nothing wrong wit him. and yet. after 5 months, i didnt feel emotionally attached to him. i want to so badly. i wish i could with everything in me. and realizing that he was falling in love and i wasnt close to it at all made me feel miserable.i know it was the right thing to do. iknow i was hurting him so much more by being with him and not feeling emotionally attached. but i feel miserable! ive felt so crappy every since we broke up. i feel this constant tightness in my chest. and i keep having him in my dreams all night long. all of my friends kept telling me over and over to do it and that i needed to have the guts to do it. and now that i have i feel terrible. and i miss him. well i dont miss Him but i miss talking to him, and constantly having him around. what can i do??? all of my dreams are about giving it more time. is 5 months enou???. please help. i cant stand this miserable feeling any longer!
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i dnt knw how else to reply on this thing, neways thanks alot for the help :). hope it works out for u both :) take care
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5 months is a long time for a relationship, and breaking it off after that point in time is only going to make the situation 5 times harder, but you can get through this. Think about this, and ask youself these questions:
1. did you break up with him because everyone told you to do so?
2. were you pressured into breaking up with him?
3. are you sure there were no more feelings left?
4. do you feel crappy because you know he loved you and you broke his heart?
5. do you feel crappy because you weren't in love with him?
6. were you afraid of fallig for him?
7. do you miss who you were when you were with him?
Think about those questions and answer them HONESTLY. and sometimes, your dreams have meaning. Try this website..
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I highly reccomend it to figure out your dreams. I believe in fate, and maybe your dreams are trying to tell you something, like maybe you do love him, but in a different way, or you should have waited a little longer until you broke up with him. but either way, if you truly did not love him, then you have nothing to feel bad about. you did the right thing by being true to yourself. it's normal to feel sad because you were together for such a long time, but if you have no feelings for him, then in a few weeks or months, these feelings will pass. It's hard getting over things, and he must be feeling just as confused and torn as you are right now. maybe you should try talking to him to figure things out, and thst constant tightness in your chest: I've been there. this guy I like has a girlfriend, and I can't stand it. I always see them and i get this tightness feeling in my chest and my heart stops. It blows. I know how you feel.
Maybe you guys can stay friends, although it might be hard if there are any raw or bitter feelings, or if you both still have feelings for one another. with all of that said, i think you need to figure out BY YOURSELF, no friends involved, not even your ex,and think about everything. cry if you want to, scream, think, write. just figure it out and everything will be ok :] I promise.
hope I helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me anytime hunni. xxo good luck !
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Oh... I know this feeling.
I've done the same thing... Twice. The first guy... He was just such a nice guy, the type of guy that I thought I ought to date. We dated for six months and when I realized that he was becoming emotionally attached and that I just couldn't reciprocate his feelings... I let him go.
The second guy... We were together for two years. We lived together for eighteen months. And months before we broke up... I knew that I had to face the music, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to hurt him, with ever fiber of my being. I kept asking myself over and over, if it could just be any other way... Because I did love him, just not the right way.
The truth is... If you can't love someone the way you should, you need to let them go (no matter how much it hurts the both of you) and give them the opportunity to find someone that can love them the way you can't. And if you're waiting to fall in love with someone, chances are that you're never going to. So... You did the right thing.
I know what you're going through. You probably feel really guilty for hurting him. And also... There is now a void in your life where he used to be. After my ex left... I cried myself to sleep, I cried again in the morning when I woke up and he wasn't there... I cried when I saw his stuff. I cried when I saw pictures of us. And when I went about my day, it felt so strange. Strange that I wasn't going to see him when I went home. Strange that he wasn't going to text me or call. Strange that it was all over.
Because... Even though I didn't love him the way he loved me, I still missed him. And even though I had been the one to end it all, I still had to mourn the death of the relationship.
I know it's not much comfort... But what you're going through is normal. I know at times it seems unbearable, but it is going to be okay. Time will pass, and this will get easier. Until then... If you need to cry, cry. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. But if you didn't love him, don't try to get back together with him for the wrong reasons.
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