I love helping people out and I feel great giving advice to people out there I don't even know. It gives me great personal satisfaction knowing that the answers I give are pretty damn good. I have a cheery personality and I like art and music. I am not religious, but have a clear view of spirituality. I will never grow up completely, I clearly remember what it's like to be a teen, but now I have a much better perspective on how to get through it all because let me tell you, I have BEEN through it all. Glad to help any way I can...
Gender: Female
Location: New Hampshire
Occupation: homemaker:mommy
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2004
Answers: 132
Last Update: January 9, 2005
Visitors: 9523
Main Categories:
Spirituality
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Friendship
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My best friend and I dont ever hang out anymore. Her and I got in this really big fight back in November and we didnt speak to eachother for a few weeks. We both kind of brought our parents into our fight so now my mom doesnt like her and she never lets me go over to her house. Its like her and I are only friends in school and not outside of school. And sometimes in school she'll be with her other best friend who is a guy(my ex) and when she is with him, its like I dont exist to her. What do I do? It just seems like her and I have completly drifted apart. What can I do to make our friendship stornger.I havent really hung out with her or had a decent converstion with her in well over 3 months. When we talk on the phone she is always on her computer and I am wathing TV or listening to music and we dont even talk on the phone, we just sit there and it bothers the fuck out of me. We honestly can be on the phone for like 2 hrs and we will only have said maybe 5 mins of a conversation. PLease help me! (link)
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Unfortunately, friendships sometimes dissipate just like love relationships do. It can be just as sad and just as painful. You can try to mend things just by always being there for her and being a good friend, but if things don't look hopeful, then she is probably moving on. I know what this is like, it sucks to go through, I think I'm at the end of a 10 year long friendship and it's like i'm grieving over a death. Try to keep yourself busy, think happy thoughts, and go about your life, making new friends along the way. Hope it all works out for ya!!
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Ok, here's what's going on... My boyfriend, we'll call him bob, has been living with me secretly for about 2 weeks now. My dad, just found out that he was here yesterday morning, and my dad was very mad. Then last night, my dad found out about it and made him leave, bob left and came back, and now my stepmom just saw him leave. So I'm really really really grounded right now. I don't know what to do or tell my parents, I can't kick Bob out because he has nowhere to go, literally. He has a pretty bad story though. Should I tell my parents his story and risk being able to be with him? Or should I lie to my parents more? (link)
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Try telling the truth. If they are good parents they will try and understand you thought you were doing the best thing for your friend. But, you lost some trust points from starting off by lying, so be sure to sincerely appologize for that. Hope it goes well.
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hey um this is kind of awkward, but i'm 14 going on 15 in a couple of months, and i belive i have met "the one" i've know him sience i was 2 1/2 and he wants to um finger me, and i am totally comfortable with it, but my parents arn't. should i do it behing my parents back, or listen to my parents and not do it at all, but my mom is the one whos conserned my dad doesn't care. i've haven't talked to them about it they kinda listen in my phone conversations with one of my good friends, have you ever got fingered or done it to someone? if not then how old were you when you did it, please.... im so CONFUSED! i'll rate! (link)
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I was 14/15 years old when I got "fingered." It was the right time for me, I was ready, and it was amazing. It felt so different, yet so right, and afterwards I could not stop thinking about it without getting butterflies in my tummy. Your parents may be concerned but at least your not contemplating actual intercourse yet!
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Ok i know this is going to souond stupid, but im willing to take that risk. ok how many holes does a girl have in her vagina? Because i looked and there was only 2 (counting your butt hole) but wen i wear a tampon i can still pee. Me and my friend were discussing it (i have NO idea why) so just give me an anwser please! (link)
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You pee out the hole in your clitoris, your vagina is for babies, sex, and your period, and then there is your bum hole.
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Im already having problems with my life right now but this just makes it worst!
Everyone has a girl in their school who is pretty, smart, friendly, flirty, somewhat popular.
My problem that I need advice on is how do I become that girl?
This girl, her names megan, shes short, blonde hair, pretty, smart, friendly, sorta popular, has an annoying voice sometimes, really flirty, talks about sex` bi (likes chicks n guys) a stoner but you cant tell.
She can become friends with anyone and they love her, she can start a conversation with anyone adn they talk back
Im not jealous of her bc she told me Im pretty too but I just cant be like her, I wanna find a way to be like her and I need real advice -not just talk more or flirt more- but real advice
So if anyone can help me out Id love that so please help me out Im stuck with this girl till Im outta school so I really need this advice
Please and Thank you (link)
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I can try to give you advice, I am that girl, my personality is just that way, and that's what it has to be , your personality...it has to come off as natural and if it can't then you could try to practice it...llike don;t be shy. Be comfortable in whatever situation you're in...bi sexual is something you can't try to be...you have to be that from the inside from the beginning. Just be a kind person, don't give anyone a reason NOT to be friendly with you and you can be everyone's friend. Be comforable with yourself. enjoy life.
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I don't understand this. I've been studying Psycology for years, yet I don't get why I can't fall asleep. I was diagnosed with Insomnia when I was 8. This isn't Insomnia. When I lay down to goto sleep, I get scared. As if something is in the room with me. Last night I went to sleep and I felt something behind me. I've been having this problem for 3 months. My doctor said it's normal, that it's just Anxiety, but I CAN'T goto sleep. What should I do? (link)
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It IS anxiety and what you should do is make sure you get treated for it!! Hope you do, good luck!
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It's only been about a week but my boyfriend and I never talk. We only talk online and hes usually joking around about how he wants me to give him head. I wont, and hes ok with that but he still jokes. I know im young, but hes one of my first real boyfriends. With xmas coming up, i dont wanna break up and not be able to give him his gift. i dont no wat to do to get him to actually talk to me in school and stuff like that. what should i do? (link)
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That might be a problem until he starts taking you seriously. Did you try talking to him in school since he won't talk to you? Just be around for him, I guess and whatever he wants to do should be cool. Except head.
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i brokeup with my boyfriend but ONLY because he lived so far away and i never got to see him (everyone thought it was because of another guy but it wasn't) and ive been an emotional wreck ever since then, it was like 2 months ago and i still cry like at night and even somtimes if i start thinking about him during the day i go to the bathroom and cry during school... i'm just really confused. i mean, i don't know if i want to ask him for a second chance cuse i dont think i can stand never being able to see him all over agagin :-/ but i really want him back, and i still love him :( what should i do? (link)
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Well, not to recite the obvious, but you have your choice: You've already begun the getting over him part, you can continue to do that or you can try again. It depends if you're willing to be in touch with him without seeing him. It can be kind of fun, though. I did that in junior high, I had this boyfriend that I never saw because he lived far away, but it was really fun to get pictures of him and letters and stuff. Then I got bored of it. That may be the easiest way, to try again and let yourself get bored of the long distance relationship thing. But you can always stay friends anyways.Try not to be so sad. Just do what you feel most comfortable and happiest doing. Wishing you the best, sweetie :)
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Does piercing your belly button hurt?! and on a scale 1 to 10 ..10 being the most painful and 1 being the least please hurry!!!! (link)
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it doesn't hurt real bad, it's a 5...only because it's more of an annoying pain than anything. I actually asked my dude to make it hurt, but inside hoped he would know I was joking. Go ahead and get it done...it's worth it.
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Hi, I really need help. Okay, well there is this whole paragraph about this situation, but I'll try to make it as short as possible...
I met this guy, Lance, through a friend, but he is never aloud to do anything because of his parents, even his friends told me he is never aloud to hang out, and to top it off he is grounded, so I haven't talk to him since literally, October.
I started to become friends with Lance’s friend, Brett, mostly because it was my only way of I guess having any connection with Lance.
Then, I started having feelings for Brett, and he started having feelings for me. Now I am not the type of girl that is going to break up a friendship just because I like someone, because I'm 14 and I probably won't even see these boys after high school. Anyway, we just stayed friends, but everyone said it was obvious that we liked each other, but it wasn't a big deal because we never did anything but talk all the time and that's it.
Now, Brett was just recently dumped by his ex, and he started being REALLY mean to me, and pushing me away, and I wanted to talk to him about winter break because after he came back from his vacation with his parents he wanted to hang out, so I tried calling him, and for 4 days he blew me off. So finally the other day I just told him he was being really mean to me, and he said that I was lying and he wasn't mean he just doesn't care about me anymore which really hurt my feelings.
I just don't know what to do, I want to just be friends with both Brett and Lance because they are both friends, and both of them are so much fun to hang out with and talk to, but I don't like either one of them as more then friends. But, I told Brett I wasn't going to talk to him anymore because he of what else he said to me, which I can't say on here, and I don't know what to do. Should I just forget about even being friends with Brett or what? Again I am so very sorry for making this so long, but this has been going on for a really long time and I was going to ask a question on here soon, but things just keep progressing. Please help.
Signed,
Hurt friend
(link)
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Brett could just be hurting because his ex broke up with him so he is taking it out on the person closest to him...you. He may (this will sound strange) be pushing you away because he needs you right now. He probably feels dumb for being the one broken up with. Don't be mad at him for being mean, even though it's not nice. It's just his way of acting out on his anger. My boyfriend is the same way. When he is being mean, ignore him, but be there for him. Let him know you are his friend and he can talk to you (nicely) any time he needs. And this other guy Lance, poor guy, strict upbringing it sounds like. Just be his friend too. Your intentions seem simple, you sound like a good friend, so just be that for both boys. Stay neutral. Be kind. It's all good. I wish you luck, sweetie!
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I'm a teen girl going through puberty and my private has losened up. I never had sex before so it couldn't have "stretched" that way. Also, around the edges of the viginia it's turning a dark tan color. What is this and is it normal? Also, are there any exercises i can do to tighten it up?
thnx so much, i really need your help! (link)
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If you haven't gotten it already, your period is comming. That's what happens. Then when it does happen every month, the same thing will happen to your vagina every month.
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I like this guy who is a musician...actually he's in three different bands. So, every weekend he has shows that he plays. Being supportive, I come to see him play, but since he's playing we hardly get to talk, and when we do he's worn out and tired. Our conversations are pretty much meaningless online , and I don't like to call guys- I wait for them to call me.
Lately he's seemed pretty distant. Is this a sign for me to back off, or is he waiting for me to make the first move? (link)
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He sounds pretty busy. My boyfriend is also a musician. He has been playing guitar for 15 years. He is not in a band, but jams with people once in a while. Anyways, we've been together for 6 years and in the past when we've fought, he accused me of taking away his dream of being a successful musician. That hurts. But he gave me an ultimatum years ago that said, "If you aren't going to be with me then I am running away to California to find some good band mates." Well I chose to be with him, but now sometimes I feel like that thing that is keeping him from flying. So just be there for this guy, even if he seems distant, don't take offense. Just always be there for him to come back to if you love him that much. Support whatever he decides. So don't back off completely or think to much about what is going on...he is simply busy doing what he loves to do, be the girl of his dreams by letting him do it. Going to watch him play is a good thing too. That probably means a lot to him. Hope I was helpful.
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I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years and I live with him now. Well, he wants a kid really bad and I told him no because I'm almost 20 and we both work at MAC. And, MAC doesn't really pay us good. And obviously, you need money to have a kid. I'm on BC and have been for like 8 months and somehow I lost my pills. I'm organized, and I dont misplace things hardly ever and I think my boyfriend stole them. I'm getting more pills tomorrow but I just KNOW my boyfriend stole them! He hasint talked to me in two days because I accused him of stealing them. Why does he want a freaking kid so bad!? I dont want to break up with him, its been 3 years and I dont want to throw our relationship away. But what can I say to him to get his mind off kids!!! (link)
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Well, I'm sure you love this guy, but if you're not ready for kids, then he's going to have to get over it for now until later when you are BOTH ready. If he loves you he'll wait. You are still a bit young. I wanted a baby at 19/20 and I finally had one at 23. I'm glad it didn't happen earlier because I lived a lot of life between that time. Try to get your b'friend to enjoy his relationship with you first, before kids. Maybe he'll feel more like a man, if he has a kid? I don't know. But just try to have fun together first and begin to build your lives together. Hang out with friends, listen to music together. Do the things you both enjoy and try to convince him to chill out. If he can't accept, then the problem is his. Drop the pill stealing accusations. If he says he didn't then fine, but if he did and he's really that immature, then he's got some growing up to do. He needs to allow you to flower and become the person you want to be before you're ready to conceive. Like I said if he can't allow that then the problem is his own. Just be there for him, this is a thing he's going through. It will pass, good luck!! Also I want to add that tell him to show you he is ready by getting a man's job, marrying you, and being prepared with a stable parent-like foundation. Then maybe when all that is in place maybe you will be ready, because that stuff can take plenty of time!!
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well I am a 19 year old female who has been in a relationship with a guy for 4 years. I feel i am insecure about myself and constantly feel myself feeling and thinking that i am not as pretty as the girls that he sees. I have become controlling because i tell him he cant look at other girls and he can not have girl friends. I feel if he loves me like he says he does then why does he need to talk to other girls. I do not like him to work with pretty girls because i am afraid that he will flirt with them and not tell me. I get angry when he stares at other girls. We are constntly fighting. Is this all my fault. How can i stop being so scared that he is going to leave me for someone better. Even though everyday he says he wont i still get scared. And when i even see a pretty girl i say she is ugly so he wontlook . i know we care and love eachother so much . i do not want us to fight we are getting married soon please help my problem stop (link)
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Everyone has a spot of jealousy in them when it comes to the person you love. It's how big you let that spot get that affects how a relationship functions. I was also in a 4 year long relationship at 19...I am 24 and still with this guy. Now he has a very flirty personality, I have all the reason in the world to be jealous. He also works with really hot chics. I even saw a picture of him hugging one. But you know what? I allow myself to feel a little jealousy for my own enjoyment because that is a natural feeling that tells you your relationship is healthy and normal and that your feelings for him are still strong. BUT, possesiveness, control, and being mean about it is wrong. Yes, the fighting is because of you. Try to rememeber that I guy is a guy and they WILL look at other girls. They'd be gay if they didn't. You need to practice more on trust than jealousy. Your limits should be set at cheating, not just for looking or even flirting. Let him be himself, and if you allow that, he will love you even more for that, hence all the less reason to leave or cheat. I let my b'friend talk to me about a hot chic he saw at his work today, I say, "Really? Oh, cool!" You gotta be cool about it. Even if he says something like, "Yeah, and she had nice tits!" The jealousy will arise but be cool with that too. Now if he goes and says, "And I got to touch them!!" then the line has been crossed and you can get mean. But if you love him, give him the benefit of the doubt. He's just being a guy. Don't make him feel like he's in prison. Let him enjoy life. Let him enjoy YOU by not being overly jealous. As for your insecurity, try to pamper yourself, do things to make you feel good about yourself. Trust that if your boyfriend didn't like you for you he would break up with you...which might happen someday if you don't cool it with the possesive qualities you are enduring. Be the cool girlfriend that every guy would want and your personality will shine brighter than how you look weather homely or gorgeous. I hope I helped, I really do care, I want you to be nice, okay?? Good luck!! :)
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I'm a 24 yr old girl...and I met this great guy at a bar a few weeks ago and since then everytime I'm out, no matter where I am, he seems to be there. (Like it's meant to be?) Well, I went over to his house after leaving the bars twice. The first time we just hung out, we didn't even kiss... and then the second time we went a lot farther then that. I think he's wonderful and I want him to like me for me even though everytime I see him I'm pretty wasted.. I want to keep talking to him and I don't want to ruin things because I feel wierd and don't know how to act because I went too far with someone new.. but I really like him, I think he's so perfect... what should I do?? How should I act??? (link)
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I am a 24 year old chic too, and I know what you're saying. It's extremely hard when you have those drinks in you and you're in the moment. Drinking definately enhances emotions. This is what I did the last time I went out...well, I went with this person to a concert last month and I got totally wasted and we ended up kissing and making out (which I barely remember), but for the next time we went out, the following weekend I made myself have a drinking limit...and believe me, I am someone who cannot control my drinking so it really took a concrete mind-set to make myself not drink too much. I had 3 drinks, none of them with vodka (vodka makes me crazy), but instead with rums, kahlua, and even whisky's. Decide which drink makes you out of control and skip that one...just for the next few times you go out with him to allow yourself time to feel comfortable with how far you want yourself to go..just enough to have some control. Have your drinks be made weak. Try that. I guess that would be my advice, it worked for me, so I hope I was helpful enough for it to work for you!!
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I can never have a good day at school. I have alot of frieds but being that i have to get up in the morning i get cranky and when i get cranky i am just really quiet.. i know you'll tell me more sleep.. besides that what else could i do? because i sleep from 10:30-7:15 (link)
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Make sure you give yourself plenty of waking up time, to get ready, EAT A YUMMY BREAKFAST, fix yourself a cup of tea. Make your mornings a pleasant time for yourself. Relax, smile, check out the weather, pick out your clothes and have fun doing it, listen to your favorite music while you get ready, take a nice warm shower and daydream and sing. The thing is, is if you are getting up like right before you have to leave that would make anyone grumpy. It's important that you give yourself time to wake up. You are sleeping good, you don't need more sleeping time, just more waking up time. Mornings can be a beautiful time of the day if you know how to enjoy them. The hard part is making yourself rise and shine in the morning and for it to become habitual. Go to bed at night with nothing on your mind to bother you; go to bed telling yourself that you and yourself have plans when the sun rises. Tell yourself you are going to have a good morning. Force yourself to sit up when the alarm goes off, sit there for a minute, don't think of anything, just let your brain lose the fuzzies. Then stand up and go to a window and view the morning. Then start off slowly going about your business, and things will pick up from there. Go ahead and try it. I assure you, your days will go better. Good luck, sweetie!!
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im a freshman in highschool and i cant really say that up until now life has been great cause it hasnt... but thats not the problem..the problem is i think im fat.... im 100 pounds and i wanna be 80.... i used to think i was skinny but i dont anymore.... people call me fat at school like there just kidden but theres always truth behind a just kidding.... i tried not eating but i cant do that it just makes me sick and tired.... ive been doing 100 sit ups everynight and its not doing anything... please tell me what i can do... or tell why i feel so ugly :/ thanxx (link)
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You're not really fat, just insecure. People are teasing you and making fat jokes because they know it bothers you and these may not be true friends. You need to eat, just eat healthy. Eat things that will give you energy like fruits, nuts, grains, and plenty of vegetables. Do not set yourself a low weight goal of 80 pounds. No freshman in high school should weigh a mere 80 pounds. I fluctuated between 100/110 lbs. all through high school and I was considered thin. Exercise is good. That you could excel in if you wanted. Just eat healthy, that's all. Junk food can make you feel like junk. It can make you feel fat even if you don't appear so. Junk food can also affect your moods and energy levels. Healthy food can give you energy and make you want to get up and exercise and it will make you feel good about yourself. But, no, you are not fat, and don't put yourself down. Feel good about yourself and show it by eating healthy and exercising and I can assure you, your inner self will glow brighter than the sun and the fat jokes will dissipate into nothing and you will find others to have respect for you.
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well for as long as i can remeber i havent gotten along with my mother... and i know she hates me.... she causes me to cut myself a lot too.. right now i have a a broken knee cap and 2 broken ribs becuase i got beat up by a bunch random people becuase i had to walk home at 1130 at night through the projects cause my mom made me get out of the car... she always told me that her life would have been better if i wasnt born... she left me outside when it was 40 degrees outside and i only had a t shirt and shorts on for 3 hours..... i dont nkow what to do... how can i make things better
Love always
Kryysti (link)
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Okay, you are a good person who is worthy of a better mother. Your mother is the one that needs the help. I am sorry it's like this for you. If she doesn't even feel a bit of remorse for what has happened there is something really wrong with your mother and maybe you should consider staying with family or friends because life with your mother seems dangerous, when living with your mom should be safe and warm and friendly. Any bad behavior you act upon you can blame on your mother. Although, this doesn't make for a good excuse to go through life like a piece of trash, the easy way out would be the opposite, to do well in school, and create a future for yourself. Prove to your mother that no way do you want to grow up to be like her, that you don't like the person that she is and you are going to better yourself. Take this is a learning experience (I'm sorry it's such a sad one) but you just really need to do well for yourself and try your best not to piss your mom off if you decide to remain residing with her. Stay away from her as best as you can I guess, and try to stay neutral, don't boast or fight with her. If she is being unreasonable, do what you feel is right in the situation. Just treat her like you're barely there...since it's what she wants. She doesn't deserve you, make her see that. I wish you the best :)
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hey, i am a 16 year old female and im really upset and i dont know where else to go. my mother has Fibromyalgia and borderline Lopus. ok thas not the thing tho. she has always told me that children coudlnt get it and that it wasnt something that she could pass onto me. ive been really sick over the last 2 years and they havent been able to figure out what with. i have been to it seems every dr. possible. well then today i went to a rheumatologist and he told me that i need to go see a specialist who specializes in Fibromyalgia cause he thinks that i have it or that i could have lopus. OMG im just like freaking out now. im soo upset cause ive seen how its taken over my mom's life. and with me- i have had to give up cheerleading, work, driving and socializing in general. i am in the 11th grade and its an important year.. the problem is that i only make it to school once a week if im lucky. i just want to get better. now ive heard that if they find it early enough they can prevent me from having it all my life. does anyone know if thats true? or have any thing that they can tell me about it or anything for support? im just so upset and i want to get better!
Fibromyalgia and Lopus are autoimmune diseases.. which means that the body fights itself. Fibromyalgia is moreso pain in the joints, muscles, and what not along with being really weak, tired and just not feeling good. Lopus is the same thing, however its more serious. it actually breaks down the body and you can die from it.. (link)
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Wow, I'm sorry, I hope you get better, try to think really positive, try praying even if your not extremely religious. I really don't know too much about illnesses so all I can say is that I will activate positive thoughts your way and just be strong and try your best to enjoy life as well. I'm hoping for the best for ya.
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im in love with this guy. weve been going out for almost 9 months. its real love, not just your average 14 year old junk. anyway.. i just totally dont feel like i deserve him. hes way too good for me. he loves me and he wants to be with me, but i just want the best for him. last night i broke up with him because i think he can do so much better. i want him to be with someone that does deserve him. i cant stop crying and i stole his cape (dont ask) and im attached to it. i miss him so much. but weve broken up and gotten back together so many times, it wouldnt be fair if i got back with him now. what should i do? please help me! (link)
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Wow, sweetie, you really need to put your chin up and smile and have some more confidence in yourself. You are putting yourself way down. No good. You need to realize that if this is such a good guy, then he just likes you for who you are, honey!! You don't want to just trash that. You don't want to be one of those women when you get older that takes abuse because you think you deserve it! Is that what kind of relationship you're looking for? No, you should go ahead and go back out with the kid and don't dump him again unless he gives you good reason to. I really hope you learn to like yourself better. Don't go through life thinking so badly about yourself. And yeah, go ahead and surprise him at his church. What a great place for wonderful beginnings and a chance to start over. The best of luck!!
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