|
Birth Control/Kids
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years and I live with him now. Well, he wants a kid really bad and I told him no because I'm almost 20 and we both work at MAC. And, MAC doesn't really pay us good. And obviously, you need money to have a kid. I'm on BC and have been for like 8 months and somehow I lost my pills. I'm organized, and I dont misplace things hardly ever and I think my boyfriend stole them. I'm getting more pills tomorrow but I just KNOW my boyfriend stole them! He hasint talked to me in two days because I accused him of stealing them. Why does he want a freaking kid so bad!? I dont want to break up with him, its been 3 years and I dont want to throw our relationship away. But what can I say to him to get his mind off kids!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
tell him ur temporially sexually impaired
]
Tell him your just not ready for a child. maybe he didnt steal you BC pills. tell him when you start to make more money or get married you will have child! xo muah
]
Just sit and have a talk with him. i don't know if you're planning on having kids anytime in the future but if you are then tell him that. if he loves you he can wait. good luck.
]
Maybe you should give him a reality check. Show him how much it would cost to have a kid or babysit one for a weekend and allow him to see that it's not all fun and games. Also, let him know that you are not ready for a kid right now. If it comes down to it and you guys are not at the same place in life, then you might have to break up. Just because you guys have been together for 3 years doesn't mean that you have to stay with him.
]
ARE YOU EVEN FREAKING MARRIED FOR CHRIST SAKE! I mean its not a good place to be. Your not married and he could leave You!!! All im saying is just go with your heart and dont give in. Just tell him that you want a child to but you want to be able to give this child whatever he or she will need and that with you current jobs that you wouldnt be able to do that. Just tell him that you think that you both need to have steady jobs and more money before having a child...you want it to have the best dont you?
different_chick
]
well, if he likes money then i guess you could say that if we dont have children right now we can save enough money and have children later. Also be like I don't wanna go thru the pain right now. If he loves you then he will not want you to go thru the pain.
]
I'm not sure if you want one or not but if you do tell him to wait a few years. If he can be patient then he'll understand.
H.I.H.
simone
]
Tell your boyfriend that it is time for him to grow up if he is serious about having a kid. You need to be able to talk out your problems, not just ignore them like a spoiled baby. Not talking because he is mad is extreamly childish. It also means a secure income with money in the bank, and a secure relationship, like a ring on your finger.
If you know of anyone with kids offer to babysit for the weekend and see if your boyfriend is still so gung-ho about having a baby.
]
Well, I'm sure you love this guy, but if you're not ready for kids, then he's going to have to get over it for now until later when you are BOTH ready. If he loves you he'll wait. You are still a bit young. I wanted a baby at 19/20 and I finally had one at 23. I'm glad it didn't happen earlier because I lived a lot of life between that time. Try to get your b'friend to enjoy his relationship with you first, before kids. Maybe he'll feel more like a man, if he has a kid? I don't know. But just try to have fun together first and begin to build your lives together. Hang out with friends, listen to music together. Do the things you both enjoy and try to convince him to chill out. If he can't accept, then the problem is his. Drop the pill stealing accusations. If he says he didn't then fine, but if he did and he's really that immature, then he's got some growing up to do. He needs to allow you to flower and become the person you want to be before you're ready to conceive. Like I said if he can't allow that then the problem is his own. Just be there for him, this is a thing he's going through. It will pass, good luck!! Also I want to add that tell him to show you he is ready by getting a man's job, marrying you, and being prepared with a stable parent-like foundation. Then maybe when all that is in place maybe you will be ready, because that stuff can take plenty of time!!
]
Having kids is a BIG responsibility and i don't think your boyfriend relizes that. He has to realize that if you have a child you are generating someone who will be totally dependant on you both and it will change your life forever. Don't have kids if your not ready ready for the responsibility that comes with them. 3 yrs is a long time and I think he'll understand where your coming from.
*Hope I Helped*
~*~KiSsEs~*~
]
When it comes down to it, he has to realise what a huge reponsibility having a child is and I don't think he realises this. If you have a child you are creating someone who will be totally dependant on you both and it will change your life forever.He can't realise that you can't have a baby just like that and if you do think how much more you will be going through (pregnancy, the birth, morning sickness). You need to let him know that you should both be stable enough workwise as well as relationshipwise before you bring a child into the world. Have you got any friends who have young children or babies? If so ask them if you can babysit them for a day or two and leave him with the child to see how he copes. He is behaving like a spoilt child by taking away your pills because he isn't getting what he wants
]
If he is trying to sabotage your birth control method, maybe you should temporarily change over to a shot. But that is just wrong. If he wants kids that badly, he should at least offer to marry you.
Maybe you need to send his butt to a relative or something to babysit for a while. That will either get his mind off of it, or help him understand what it like to just take care of them.
Tell him what situation that would induce you to be able to have children. What would make it easier for you? Tell him what financial place you think you need to be in. What schools you want them in, etc. What sort of living arrangements you want. Maybe he would start working towards that if he needed a goal. And at twenty, I know I wasn't ready yet. I thought I would have them around 25 or so. Well, now I am 32, so who knows when it will happen, but children need a stable household to live in. He just needs to understand that. It takes at 28,000 a year to just take care of one child, and that is before college.
]
He wants to have a family so badly he isn't taking in account of your feelings towards this. You two are very young and have your whole lives ahead of you. You should try hiding your birth control pills somewhere, maybe even a locked safe or something with a code. Explain to him that your living situation isn't right to raise a child. A child is a LOT of responsibility, money, and dedication. You need to be making enough money first, so you know you can support a kid. He's so concerned about having a family that I don't think he's realizing how big of a decision that is. You've got to be the barrer of bad news here, but it's for your own good as a couple. Tell him you really care about him and maybe would like to start a family sometime, but right now isn't the appropriate time. =)
-laura
]
not all do not have a kid yet. your way to young and u guys have only been going out for 3 years yeah it may seem like alot but it isnt. hoped i helped
]
ok....well if he is older than you...he just wants a family. You BOTH need to be ready...not just one. Explain that to him...that it takes two...you can't do it alone...and if your not ready to commit at age 20?...theres totally nothing wrong with that! This is not something to be taken lightly...When the time is right...and your ready to become a mom...and both of you are committed...thats the time to start a family. You shouldn't of accused him of taking your pills(even though it sounds like its true and probubly is )..you should of just been like...huh? my pills are missing! do you have any idea on where they went? and if he says no..just say ok...ill go get new ones then!...but ...now...just tell him your sorry for the acuisation and be nice about it! it was just a sudden, spur-of-the-moment, reaction.
hope i helped!
~*~ Aria~*~
]
First of all, get married/engaged before you have kids... if you have kids and you guys end up splitting up afterwards, your kids are going to have a rough life. I know this didnt answer your question sry
]
More Questions: |