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Q: We are constantly getting into petty arguments, that escalate until he is angry and I am upset, sometimes to the point of tears. He blames me, saying I go on too much about things, and I blame him because I feel he doesn't listen or respond to anything I say, or he belittles me and my point of view. He says I belittle him too. I don't really know where to begin but to explain what happened today. We were going out to lunch with our 5-year-old daughter and as we were leaving, he suggested a fish and chips restauraunt called "Tugboat". At first, I agreed, but after we got in the car I said "I really don't feel like fish and chips. Can we go somewhere that has other choices?" I don't recall if he even responded. So I suggested three fast-food places that have fish and chips and other choices as well. He said "I don't want to eat fast food, " in this very hostile tone of voice like I was stupid for suggesting it. I went on to explain that there are heathly things he could get there too, like salad, and that the place he wanted to go was fast food and not healthy anyway. He did not acknowlege my valid point and continued to make negative remarks. He said that he didn't want to eat salad. I said ok then, but they have fish and chips, which is what you said you wanted." Then he got more angry and denied that he said he wanted that. I pointed out that the restaurant he wanted to go to only served that and little else. I explained again that I was just trying to be fair and pick a place we would all be happy with. He just told me to shut up and that he wanted to go home. I couldn't figure out what he was so upset about. Maybe I overexplained my point of view, but I was getting no response from him. At one point, he drove to one of the fast-food places I suggested and said in a very nasty tone "Here is the place you wanted to go. Are you happy now?" No, I wasn't, because I didn't like his attitude, and I said "If you don't want to eat here, just tell me where you'd like to go?" He refused to answer, so I angrily got out of the car and started to walk away, telling him he was being a jerk. I ended up getting back in the car and he told me I was a psycho. I said I wouldn't be acting like this if he didn't treat me like my ideas were stupid, and refuse to tell me where he wanted to go. We then went through the drive-thru of another restaurant, three times, and he kept getting out of the line because I was upset and wanted to talk to him about how I felt. Our daughter was really hungry, as was I, and was getting really upset. Finally, we ended up at a nice restaurant and I calmed down enough to go in, and we had a good lunch, but barely talked. I was still upset and angry. All this took about a hour of wasted time driving around. He still never acknowleged that he was wrong to not respond to me when I asked him where he wanted to go. He did apologise for belittling my suggestions, though, and I admitted that I tend to go on about things, but only if I feel that he is not understanding or acknowledging me. I know that I'm partially responsible for these petty arguments. but I don't know how to change this destructive pattern. My husband just wants to "drop it" and it never gets resolved. We argued about this and many other petty things over and over again and I just want it to stop. I love my husband and I know that he loves me, but sometimes it feels like we are enemies at war, and this is not a good example for our daughter. Also, I am 4 months pregnant, and the stress is not good for me or the baby. Help! And please don't suggest divorce. I am determined to do whatever it takes to save our marriage. Please tell me objectively what each of us is doing wrong. Thanks

I may not know much about marriage, but im pretty sure many married couples go through those same kind of arguments. Perfect example: MY PARENTS. My mom can say something and my dad will just ignore it, although he hears what she said. She keeps trying to talk to him and i think it just annoys him because she tries too hard. I don't know your situation, but my dad works 2 jobs, and it is very difficult for him to put up with EVERYTHING my mom has to say. What i would suggest is talk to your husband and make sure everything is OK, don't just get mad. I dont think it is good for your daughter to have to see you fighting or getting mad, so just talk to your husband about it.

I don't think it's right for your husband to just ignore you and get mad becuase you suggested something else, but it's also not right for you to get mad at him before you know if everything is ok.

GOOD LUCK
-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: I met this guy at summer school and he and I became friends. W talked on the internet when school was over and then he called and we talked really late. He called the next 3 nights, then I called him the next 2 then we kind of stopped calling. We haven’t talked for a while and I think that he’s mad at me or something. I sent him this email that asked if he was and if so, just tell me. I sent that last night and he hasn’t responded. He is online and I don’t know if I should talk to him about it or what. i like him and he knows through some people. I don’t want to be hurt to badly, so what should I do?!?! Help, thanks!

Why did you stop calling and talking in the first place? Is there any reason he could be mad at you? (anything you might have said or done?) Maybe he thinks the same thing, that you are mad at him because not only did he not call, but YOU didn't call HIM either. Maybe when he found out you like him he got nervous, aybe he likes you too but is shy and wont admit it.

Since he's online right now, YES you should definately talk to him. Ask him why he hasn't called and if he is mad at you or not. If he apologizes and it seems like he was just worried also, say to him "Hey, I'm sure you know i like you, and if you don't, now you know. I was wondering if you want to go to a movie some time" (or anything else you wanna do with him). That's if you don't mind "making the first move."

Maybe he's shy, maybe he's just not interested.

I hope this helps you out :)
-=wizer*wordz=-

If u need anything else, IM me at wizerwordz or drop another in my inbox.

Q: I have been in a relationship for a long time. I recently discovered that my girlfriend wants to bring another woman into our sex life...what should i do??? I realy care about my girlfriend i wonder if it would ruin what we have???

I don't think this could ruin anything. Try it once. If you think anything could go wrong, talk to your girlfriend about it. Tell her how you feel and that you dont anything in your relationship ruined. Show her you care.

But again, i don't see how your relationship could change and if it worries you, it can't hurt to talk. If it's just your sex life thats worrying you, how could it get worse? Probably adds a little more excitement to it.

-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: OK, so I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for about 7 months. The thing is.. Ive never met him b4. He lives in the same state and everything. But we live like an hour away from each other :(. I mean we could probably meet some how but i dunno. we hardly ever talk too. I havent talked to him in 2 weeks, partially because i was away but he still hasn't called either. He knows im home. I jus wanna kno if I should stick with the relationship or just be friends. I love him with all my heart. I am just really confused right now :(. Please Help!

First of all, here's my opinion about all this. HES NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND. YOU HAVENT MET YET. Also, there's no way you can "love him with all your heart" if you haven't met. Think about it. What you're doing can't possibly be considered going out, expecially if all youre doing is talking (which you hardly do anyway). YES you should just be friends, or at least meet him first. Honestly, I don't think it could work out.

Sorry if it's not what you want to hear, but you're here for advice and there it is.

I hope it helps at least a little.
-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: hello all. i wrote a book and it got published and the publisher said that my book would be in stores by june 14th and there still arent any books in any stores. any advice on why i cant find my book anywhere or what to say to my "agent/publisher?"

Just ask your agent straight up why the book isnt in stores yet. Or maybe ask a bookstore first when they are getting your book so you dont have to ask ur agent. Either way, it's your book, your agent said it would be in stores and you have a right to know why it's not.

btw, whats ur book called?

Q: My parents payed for me and my brother to go to a private school. It was really expensive but thank god we got insurance so some of the money will come back to us if we deside not to go. Well my brother and i ended up going to public school where it's free, the thing is that the private school won't let us get the money back unless we go there for 15 school days. I have been arguing with my parents saying that i just started to make friends at the public school, and things are really going my way. Going to the private school for 15 days will make it really hard to go back to the public school. I really dont know what to do cause it's a lot of money we will get back, yet i am really startin to fit in at the public school.

since this is long I will rate high!!!!!!!!!!

it's only 3 weeks (15 school days) so its not THAT long. Just tell everyone u'll be back and i'm sure things will be fine.

:)

Q: Ok well I have this boyfriend and he doesnt go to my school or anything. I meet him through my friend from soccer camp. We started talking online and then a while later we started going out. Later he broke up with me saying that he disn't think things were going to work out because we still hadn't seen each other. Now a year later, we still haven't seen each other but we are going out again. I am thinking that now I don't want to go out with him until I see him and stuff. How should I tell him this without hurting him too much? (I have never broken up with anybody before) please help soon!!! Thanx and I'll rate you!

Technically, if you havent even seen each other and just decided to "go out" online, then ur not really going out with him. Honstly, thats pretty silly that you can consider talking online dating. You're right that you should see him before you decide to go out, so tell him that. It's not that hard because you're not really together right now.

Q: hi,
i recently figured out that my papa(uncle) has cancer and i am extremely close to him i live with him, and he was supposed to be fine until he had surgey and they found cancer in his liver stomach esophagus. and i just can't seem to get over it and i feel HORRIBLE i havent gone to school in 2 weeks(my parents dont know) and i act like im leaving for school they go to work and i just go back inside. Well What Should i do (hes gonna die anytime) sign,
ihatecancer01

My Grandpa died of cancer 2 years ago. I saw him die, so that was even worse for me. A few days i was upset, but I tend to deal well with death, becasue there have been a lot in my family. You just have to understand that death happens, it's not your fault or your choice, especially when its something like cancer. I'm not saying you shouldnt care about it, just don't take it so hard. Tell your parents how you feel and maybe also that you're not going to school because of it.

It WILL be hard for you to get through this, but you should definately tell someone.

i hope this helped :/
-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: ok, im a 17 yr old female, and i have been "seeing" this guy. not really dating, because he doesnt think he's "boyfriend material" i dont understand this, but i know he cares about me the same way i care about him.

i wrote him a 3 page long letter telling him how i felt. he told me he liked it and he reads it often.

we hang out alot (many times for 10 or more hours or untill like 1 am!) and every time, we hold hands and cuddle and hold each other close the whole time, even around our parents. my family loves him and his family thinks i am just the sweetest thing to walk the planet.

but...alwayz a but...he and i have dated before. and he ask me out both times. so now i think it is my turn to ask him out, to show him how much i care. but, i dont want to scare him off.

so i ask you guyz, does a girl askign a guy out kind of freak him out, or do they like it? and i also would like to know if anyone has any ideas what he meant by "i dont think i'm boyfriend material". please help me out!

I really don't think a girl asking a guy out would be something to freak out over. Personally, I think that shows the girl cares and wants to go out with the guy and theres a better chance they will stay together longer, because I see a lot of girls asking for advice about what to do cuz they suddenly "don't like the guy anymore" or are just "getting bored."

A guy would usually think the girl might not like him, but that is an issue among EVREYONE.

Don't worry about it, just go for it. Ask him out.

Hope this helps :)
-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: Ok, there's this guy that likes me. And he's the nicest person you would ever meet. He's so content with who he is. And i love that, and everything about him. But he's bisexual and it kinda creeps me out. I mean, im not homophobic and i love bisexuals and guy people. But i've never gone out with one, and i just think its kinda weird. Like i would kiss him, and realize that he's kissed boys before and stuff. I don't know. Is it bad that i don't wanna go out with him just cuz he's bi?

my ex gf was bi and i didnt mind at all. actually, it was quite interesting that we would both agree another girl was hot. but anyway, why would it matter if he's kissed other guys before? it's not like you're kissing those other guys while you're kissing him. theres no reason you should be freaked out about that. either way, he likes you, so he likes girls.
it is kinda bad that you don't wanna go out with him ONLY because he's bi.

it's your choice to make and it would be YOUR relationship, so do whatever is better and more comfortable for you.

Q: Ok, I know that this is a really dumb question, but I'm gonna ask anyways.

I went out with this guy for about 5 months. We broke up for a while (about 6 months), and now we are back together.

While we were broken up, I hooked up with a friend's friend from out of town. My boyfriend doesn't know him, and there is an outside chance that they will one day meet, but I'm not all that worried about that.

For some reason which I can't explain even to myself, I feel as if I should tell my boyfriend. I don't feel guilty about the hookup, because, well, we were apart. I guess I just feel that he should know. But I don't want to mess anything up in between us.

So... to tell or not to tell... that is the question? (Sorry for the cliche, I couldn't resist.)

maybe you shouldn't tell him. you weren't together at the time and it's really none of his business what you did while you were broken up. for all you know, he could've made out with another girl during that time. i think he should also keep that to himself if he did. why bring something in your relationship that SHOULDN'T affect it, but might if your bf takes it the wrong way.

You don't feel guilty (and shouldn't), so there is no point in telling him because there was nothing wrong with what you did

hope this helps :)

Q: Okay well i just got out this relatinship with this girl and i noe im young and what not but i love this girl and i admit i messed up wit her i shouldnt have lied and i took her for granted and my sorry really dont mean much to her there isnt a day that goes by i dont think about her and i really want her back but i dont noe what todo to get her back ive changed but i need to find a way to show her ive changed i can seem to find that way.im 17 male

ok...this is a really tough situation.
You're not really giving me details here, like exactly how bad this is (like what you lied about and how you took her for granted). You said you were sorry to her and yes you do need to show her you changed. If you're friends with anyone who hangs out with her/one of her good friends, maybe they can convince her to talk to you and maybe give you a chance to explain and show her how you changed. I suppose she doesn't want to listen to anything you have to say, so she probably won't care if YOU tell her all this, but if you think she might, then go for it and tell her you really want to make it up to her and tell her how you feel about her and the whole situation. If what you did and lied about is that bad, then you have a VERY little chance of her wanting to get back with you at all, if any chance. If she cared about you, then she shouldn't have just lost her feelings for you right away. She probably still thinks of you a lot and is bothered by all this, so there is a SLIGHT posibility you MIGHT be able to fix this.

I understand it's really hard to break up with someone, especially over a stupid screw up. This may not be something you want to hear, but you will have to get over it if you can't fix it and get her back.

I hope this helps you out :)
Any questions or anything else, drop another 1 in my inbox, or feel free to IM me anytime on AIM. My screen name is wizerwordz.

Q: when you look under "columnists" .. how do you get those stars next to your name?

you need to have been rated enough times to have a rating show up on your column, then it gives you the amount of stars according to your rating

Q: how do you heal a sprained wrist?

im not sure about a wrist, but i sprained my ankle once. i used some pain relief cream and wrapped my ankle up so it wouldnt move that much, which reduced the pain. then I pretty much let it heal on its own.
so what you should do is put some pain relief cream on your wrist, wrap it up so you can't move it that much (but make sure you don't cut off blood flow). as long as you can bear a little pain, it should be healed in a few days, or maybe less depending on how bad it is.

by the way, i usually stay away from doctos if i don't need them and i don't think a sprain should require a doc.
this is a little different from what most people say to do, but it worked for me.

hope this helps :)

Q: A lot of people on here have like a new look to their columns!!! Like i dont know a different format and borders around things and stuff!! How do you do that?! I LOVE IT and wanna do it too!!

if you don't like any of the 4 public column styles that you find under column settings on the menu on the left, you're going to have to use HTML, which is very difficult for a lot of people to use, to create your own layout for the column, or modify the HTML of 1 of the 4 default column styles.
if you wanna check out something different from the usual column, check mine out, i added in some stuff, but it would be VERY hard to explain exactly what i did and how i knew where to put it in. there are plenty of sites that give some info on HTML, but it takes some time to actually learn to use it.
I don't know if this is gonna help you at all, but if ur lookin to do something good wit ur column, you definately have to use html.
questions or anything, check out my column and IM me or drop 1 in my inbox.

-=wizer*wordz=-

Q: whats a good way to get over someone? (ex boyfriend)
please help me! thanks!

it's always hard to get over someone, but usually, meet some new people, maybe date someone else, hang out with your friends and have some fun, just try not to do anything that will get you to think about him

hope this helps :)

Q: (f, 15) hey i'm really confused right now...my best guy friend in the entire world just asked me to be his girlfriend a couple of days ago. now he has an awesome personality, but i don't think i could get over the lack of physical attraction, so i know it seems really shallow but i said no. supposedly he got over it really quickly and likes my friend sarah now..i know that sounds good that he didn't get hurt, but now i'm really jealous..i don't know if i'm just jealous of her because all the guys like her, or if i really do like him, or i am just being selfish and want everyone to like me..it's driving me crazy..i'm really not a bad person, i just don't know how i really feel..it doesn't matter that much i guess since he doesn't even like me anymore, i just want to figure out my feelings and i don't know how to. please help!

well.....his feelings about you couldn't just have vanished right after you said no. you probably are jealous, maybe because you like him but rejected him, but also because a lotta guys like sarah. the thing is i can't know your feelings and if you don't either, then you should figure them out, because no one can do that for you. if you said no so quickly, you probably don't like him more than a friend, and physical attraction can play some part in that.

hope this helps :)

Q: ok i just started high school a few days ago and its really hard to make friends b/c they all pretty much came from all the same schools and everyone already has friends and groups already and i dont... ive met some ppl but we arent like close or anything so what should i do

oo, i was in the same situation when i started high school i just meved in the town and didnt know anyone. i just talked to people around me and i got to know everyone, made some friends during my lunch period, so dont worry u should be fine, unless ur staying away from people and not talking to them.

but either way, you should be fine, it takes some time to get sued to a new school.

hope i could help :)

Q: I am a 15 yr old who plays sports but i got injured (i fractured a vertebra in my lower back) ne ways i had to sit out for over a month i could not work out... Just a simple yes or no is 5'9" and 140 fat or not ?

no ur not fat

Q: Well me and my friends are going out tommrow in hte woods to drink i drink alot but not so often so that isnt the big deal i guess but see im only in middle school and theyre bring chronic so they can try it and I REEEEELLYYY I WANNA TRY IT TO jsut to see what it is like you know?but trust me i do not think im going to get addicted to it what should i do tho?