Tell him that you are upsetting your parents with all the time you spend on the phone and that if you get into trouble for it anymore, than they will take away all phone priviledges. He should only call once a day at the very most, or better yet, you and he should swap turns on who calls first. If he continues to smother you, it will damage the relationship and that would not be good, so be honest about your need for him to reduce the frequency of his calls and let that be that. No need to make it an emotional discussion, keep it simple and he can't get offended, unless he is a real control freak.

You describe the job change as sudden, and your husband as impulsive, so you know it really was not the one glass argument that caused his decision. Men rarely vocalize their thoughts the way women do. We are prone to go over every detail of our thought process clearly and repetively until our partner or friends understand and can communicate on the subject and validate our feelings. Men grunt and keep their thoughts private where they are safe from exposure to criticism. I am telling you this, because the decision to take this particular job may be recent, but the longing to make a change and take care of the financial burden himself, has been something he has been struggling with for a long time. Just because it appeared to be a quick decision, does not mean it was not a very difficult one. No one is perfect and it would have been great if you two could have spent more time coming up with agreeable solutions before the situation snowballed. Is he alone in charge of your financial decisions and getting the family into debt? He is right to say to you that he is not getting the support from you that he needs and longs for. He needs you. Please don't make the last days you have with him before he goes off to a potentially dangerous zone, regretable ones. You are probably scared and this is a situation you cannot control. The anger has been masking your fear and frustration. Don't let that ugly mask be the last face your husband sees on you. This has nothing to do with who is right or wrong. He really does not expect you to love this hard decision, but he does expect you to love him. Military wives have husbands that made a decision to give up a lot of their personal choice and preference when they signed up, so the situation is not as different as you think. You have a son who is very impressionable and needs to see you support and love the man you married, his father. If you can't let go of the rage for your marriage, do it for your son. Prayers.

Your friends are able to see the situation from the outside and you alone can see it from the inside. They don't want to see you set yourself up for disappointment, so listen to them the best you can. Your feelings are valid, but don't get into the habit of letting them master you. You need to figure out how to think about the moment as it is and not waste it in worrying about what will be. This is about all I can offer you on this subject, but I wish you the best in this and in your life.

There are professional products available to reduce the appearance of scars at the dermatologist or even your local grocery/drug store. Ask a pharmacist what they recommend. Don't pick at it and keep the area dry and clean. Apply a triple anti-biotic like Neosporin which helps prevent scarring and then when it is totally healed, use the scar reducing products. Time will help, too.

Thankyou! You sound very rational in your thinking about the situation. I think it is still up to you if and when you tell him, but if you think you can say what you want to without worrying about a response then do it. The key is to say what you feel without putting pressure on him or asking for anything in return...make it like giving him a gift, not a trade. If you can do this, then you will have unloaded the burden of what ifs, and holding on to the regret of words unspoken. I think even a little rejection won't hurt the friendship at this point as long as you are very confident and willing to tell him in a way that asks for nothing in return. One phrase would be to say something like, "I value our friendship so much that I would never want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I think you are going to make some girl really happy someday and if you need someone, I could be that girl." Whatever you say, do it with him alone without making too big a deal about it. Wait for a casual opportunity and try to say it with as little drama as possible...you could even be cute about it and flirty, almost like you are teasing about it...this could get the message across without having to bare your soul and be too vulnerable. Good Luck!
P.S. I prefer to take all my question/comments/feedback in this form, because of the time restrictions I have. Feel free to keep in touch, though.:)

A weekend getaway for you and your best friend, a day at the spa getting beautiful, or a concert. If you want a party but not a crazy out of hand one, then consider a picnic pot-luck at a nice park or scenic area where you can blast music and keep it casual. Or go totally retro and go to the skating rink or bowling alley at night when all the lights get funky and you can get some good laughs in with a group of friends.

Losing five pounds a week is both unrealistic and unhealthy. Losing 1-2 pounds a week is more likely to happen with a healthier eating plan and some working out. Running is the fastest way I know of to get into shape. Take it easy though if you are not used to running, because you will get really sore if you push to hard right away. I suggest you lay off of all junk food and soda and excess salt. You will appear much skinnier if you are not bloated with too much salt in your system or carbonation in your tummy. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day but no more than 10. People can become sick and even die from overhydration as well as underhydration. An apple a day and three glasses of nonfat milk is a great addition to your diet plan and lean proteins and lots of vegies. Under your prom dress you can wear a simple tummy slimmer or thigh slimmer panty that no one will be the wiser of. Also, having excellent posture and sucking in that stomach will have you appearing slimmer and taller. Wear a high heel, but only one you won't trip in. Have fun and remember that guys on the average prefer girls with a little more meat on their bones than the super-skinny model types in real life. The main thing that will get you noticed is your fun attitude, sexy confidence and bright smile. In other words, have fun!!!

I don't think you are at all pathetic or out of touch with reality. Okay, the gay phase aside; What is this guy doing with you? He is playful and flirtatious and giving you lots of attention, but not wanting a girlfriend. If you want to continue this way, then don't change what you are doing. If you don't want to continue the torture, then you have to move on. Holding onto hope is only good if there is reason to hold on. If he said he wanted to be with only you, but did not want to rush it, you might have reason to hope. However, hope alone will not gain you anything but more wasted time, effort, energy and emotion. Even if he was enthusiastic about kissing you or making out, there would be a big chance he would not want to have a girlfriend. Do you really want that? I know it is hard to be objective and that is why you were smart enough to ask the advice of someone who is. Now be smart enough to figure out what it is you want the most and if this guy fits the bill. Maybe he is worth the wait. Only you can know for sure, but I do know that you cannot make something happen that both people are not totally enthusiastic about. It is one thing to be patient and wait for love to bloom, and another thing to pine away on a fantasy and miss other opportunities. How long are you willing not to only wait, but to potentially waste??? Life is short, so keep your eyes and heart open to more than this one fish in the sea. I promise you that there will be many many more in your near future to choose among.

The low down on sex technique. Sex for as long as you want using male orgasm control. G-spot and Clitoris massage for female orgasm. Diagrams, exercises, full explanations.
http://infosex.com/
I could answer more specifically if your question gave more detail, but this site should prove worthy of all your questions. If you don't find what you need then just shoot me a more detailed account of what you are asking and some info. about your gender, orientation, and specific area of concern. Good Luck!

That is a bit complicated. First off, this guy is confused not only about his feelings for you, but about his feelings about his sexuality, and girls in general. It is a great compliment that he has chosen to open up to you and that he considers you to be such a good friend. He does not want to lose you, but now is not the time to pressure him. I have known many gay men that are flirtatious and sexual with women, but that are still gay. You cannot change him. Let that be a life lesson about anyone. We cannot pick and change anything about anyone. Many women have the idea that men are more like clay and can be molded and transformed to look like whatever they need. The problem is that you are still left with a pile of clay and it does not hold its shape under pressure. It returns to what it IS. Continue to be a best friend, and let him have room to grow and be comfortable as he discovers for himself who he is. Don't hold out for him as a boyfriend. Go out with other guys and don't limit yourself. Take his flirtations lightly and know that it does not mean the same as if he were not confused about his gender identity. He may indeed discover that he is heterosexual, but it may be years from now or not at all. It is his journey not yours. I want you to live your own journey and enjoy and not miss out on the other guys who would love to date you and are secure with their sexual identity and won't end up breaking your heart...at least not like this.

If you are not really into him as far as dating him then you are wasting both your time and his by encouraging the relationship beyond friendship. The fact that he has a girlfriend is not cool either. You are feeling a little rejected and lonely because your heart is really for the older guy. You enjoy the flirtations of the younger guy only because it boosts your ego to know that guys still find you attractive. Everyone wants to feel wanted and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I think it best to pull away from flirtations that are misleading. There are a hundred other guys within reach that are your age, not taken, and that would love to have you flirt with them instead. Don't miss out on living your life by nursing a sore heart with the approval of a guy whom you really are not interested in.

Why are you confused by the attention of two different guys? I will explain why. In our society for the past bizillion years it is told to all females that we are to wait for our ONE true prince to come and rescue us. In the meantime, the boys are told to have fun with as many girls as possible before they become tied down to JUST ONE. See the difference? You have a guilty uneasy feeling even though you are not bound to either guy in any way. Women need to quit preventing themselves from having a full and fabulous social life and take a cue from the guys. Live your free love life to its full extent and keep it simple. Socialize and enjoy the company of any person who catches your interest and don't act like there is a ring on your finger until you actually put one there yourself. You are hot and you don't owe anyone anything...these guys are both enjoying your company, so enjoy theirs. The guys are also most likely enjoying other girl's company as well, so don't limit yourself.

Song of Solomon, a dialogue in poetic form in the Old Testament of The Bible is very erotic if you like works that envoke your own imagination.

Be truthful to yourself and your friends. This does not mean you have to defend your every belief or divulge every detail on what you think about God, the universe, politics, sex, or anything else...some things can be and should be private. Friends, especially close friends have to be vulnerable at some point, but you can still disagree and be friends. I have friends of many faiths and of no faith. The problem some religious people have is not with you and your beliefs, but in trying to be consistant in their own beliefs. If you believed I was going to be killed in a car accident today and did nothing to warn me, then you would be a horrible person. Your friends will want to save you from what they believe will harm you. This is not because they are judgemental, but because they are convinced of what they believe and are really worried. Some may not be as seriously religious and not worry about your different beliefs or lack of faith in a God. Take them individually and tell them and not at once, so you don't feel ganged up on. You will find out their feelings and they will adjust to yours.

Think opposites in eyeshadow. The opposite of blue is orange, but go easy...we don't want you looking like a pumkin. Browns and peachy-browns will make those eyes pop. Look for bright colored blush and use just a touch on the apples of your cheeks. Think bright and light. Nude but glossy lips will keep your eyes the focus.

He just did you the biggest favor of your young life and you will come to realize that shortly. Rejection is painful and he was very cruel. It sounds like he is the type who would kick a puppy if he was in a bad mood. You are lucky to be rid of this creep. He is a coward to have to hide behind such bad behavior and act like he is better than you after you went out for so long. The truth is that you are better than him and he probably knows it deep down. Sometimes a frog will appear to be a prince because we want it so badly, but ultimately every frog returns to the swamp and is ungrateful to the princess for seeing more in him...actually he is downright resentful of it. Let him have his swamp, his next kiss will be from a toad.

Is this counselor/therapist actually helping you in your life or not? If not, then end it and find a new one. It is that simple. Psychologists are just human and people sometimes don't click even in a professional relationship. If his approach puts you off, then you might tell him. Ask, "How is that helping me?" Tell him clearly that you are not getting what you came for. Of course, it could be the case that this psychologist really does have a method to his madness and may have specific reasons for his comments and questions that we don't know. All you can do is be open with him, and if he does not put you at ease, then find someone you trust. There is nothing wrong with a second opinion anyway.

What is this baptism of salvation? Is it a water baptism, like the water baptism of John the Baptist in the New Testament that was for repentance? No. The water baptism or John's baptism of repentance is not for salvation. When Jesus was water baptised by John, the Holy Spirit descended upon Him and the voice of God said, "This is My Son, with Whom I Am well pleased." In other words, God said this Jesus is sinless and is mine and does not need to repent. John the Baptist told Jesus that he needed to be baptized by Jesus, and was taken aback that Christ asked for the water baptism. Christ had nothing to repent, he was clean of sin already. The baptism of Christ for salvation is a spiritual baptism. We become clean not through water, but through blood of Christ. His blood saves because it is pure. Water washes the outside, blood the insides. The Jesus being the son of God is the only one without sin that could survive the Holy baptism of "fire" which is symbolic of God's judgement. Jesus died for our sins, was raised again and serves as the middle man so to speak, between the sinner and God. If you repent your sin, you may choose to demonstrate this to others by being water baptised. The water does not save and does not have power to save. It is symbolic of repentance. Christ is salvation and you have Christ within you when you receive salvation through faith in Christ, who did the work of salvation for you. Salvation is through faith in Christ, your faith is what saves you, the work of your faith is what saves you together with the work that only Christ could do on the cross on your behalf. John's water baptism was a precursor to the real baptism of salvation which only Christ could complete and is the plan of salvation, since no human works are enough to wipe out sin. You have to be baptized into Christ, but not with water; with faith. Long before Jesus and John the Baptist were born, Abraham of the Old Testament ("The Father of the Jews") had such a "faith in God" that it was "credited to him as righteousness." The only righteousness of man is faith in God. Works and goodness will automatically and natually flow out of a heart that is for Christ, but these works are secondary, not necessary for salvation.

Wow. Your assessment seems pretty complete and I am impressed that you have such internal self-awareness. Now for the hard part. If suddenly you got your wish would you be happy? Think about that. Actually, I bet you are thinking not only about whether or not you would be happy, but what indeed your real wish is. The fact that you have taken this one man and given him this much power in your life is not healthy for either one of you. It is too much pressure for him to handle, and it is not realistic. You can't take other men seriously, because your perspective on what is normal is too serious. Why do you want and need this drama in your life? Because it has been normal for you all your life. Did you have a dramatic childhood or parent? Did your father play a disappearing act? You are looking for a man to make a dramatic change, but you would not be happy when the change happened and then that was it. You would get bored, actually you would feel unsatisfied. You intentionally choose what you can't have, because it is the only thing you want. This is not about him. It is about you and your childhood wishes. I'm not Freud, but most of us are basing our adult dreams on childhood nightmares. You will not be content with this man or any other until you come to terms with what you wanted and did not get in childhood. Then you will stop looking for it in your adult life. Free yourself.

Time and Patience, but most of all concentrate on YOUR relationship with him and forget the conversations about the past relationship...talking about her keeps it fresh in his mind. You should be making him FORGET about her and all the good and bad associated with her. This is your chance to love him, so don't waste one more second by thinking about or talking about her...the trust will come when you lay her to rest and have fun together...no ghosts allowed!

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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