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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England



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advice

I am going out with this guy that is really sweet but I don't know much about him. He asked me for my number last weekend and we've gone out TWICE now and I don't really know a lot about the guy. My mom said we should not go to movies yet but, rather, out to eat so that we can talk more. I thought that sounded fine but I have no idea what I should ask him without sounding stupid!

What are good questions to ask my boyfriend and how do I ask them? Should I just say, "I have some things to ask you..." and go through them one by one? I don't want to look like idiot but I want to get to know him better! :)
THANKSSS

Getting to know your boyfriend on little dates is always a nice idea. You don't need to reel off a long list in a rehearsed order, just come out and say them.
If you don't already know the answers, things like does he have any brothers/sisters / what's his parents names / any pets / favourite hobbies / favourite music/bands / favourite foods/drinks..
I always find a fun way to do it is by asking weird and wonderful questions as well, just to lighten the mood and give a few laughs, such as (if you go out to eat) "would you eat this with *insert something bad here/something you know he doesn't like* for *insert amount of money here*
Haha
Seriously though, don't worry about it - getting to know one another is fun and the best thing about the beginnings of a relationship. Have fun and enjoy it!

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My friends and I were talking the other day and we got curious about something. If you die, what happens to your internet stuff? I mean, does MySpace go in and delete your MySpace so that somebody else can use that URL name or does it just sit there? In addition, we were curious about Facebook, MyYearBook, Friendster, Hi5, and BeBo. We figured the same thing would happen to them all but in case it's different then I listed the ones we were interested in.

Thanks for any of the info! :D

No, no one deletes it - it stays there. Unless if you give someone you know your password and they delete it for whatever reason.

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I was adopted when I was little and I really want to meet the woman who gave birth to me. I'm curious about what she is like, especially since I spent a whopping 9 months inside of her :)

I don't know how to approach my parents about this though. I know my mom is going to cry because she's totally going to feel like I'm choosing my birth mother over her. I'm not though because my parents actually RAISED me and taught me stuff while my birth mother just, well, gave birth to me. I don't want to hide this from them either and I really do need their support.

I haven't really talked to my parents much about my birth mother to begin with because I'm nervous. How do I start asking questions about her to my parents who adopted me so that I can get on track to finding my birth mom?

I'm sure as adoptive parents, they would have taken on board that one day, you may want to know more about your birth mother.
There's no need to feel bad about asking questions and the possibility of finding her. It certainly does not mean you love your adoptive parents any less and you are right, they are the ones who raised you and you will always see them as your parents - tell thim this, even though they already know - it's just nice to hear.
Do you know what your birth mother was like? Do you know why she gave you up for adoption? Have you seen photographs of her? Know her full name and where she might be living? If not, start with the basics like these. If you know the answers, just come straight out and say something like "I've been thinking.. I'm curious and would like to meet my birth mum, is it a good idea or not?" - then see how they react..
Just don't feel like a bad person when what you're doing is normal and most people in your shoes would do the same.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for two months now and I've come to realize that I really don't have any interest in him. I'm ready to "move on" to somebody else that interests me more and that can make me happy.

My boyfriend is good guy though. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to lie to him either. We're just not compatible, I guess, because I think he's really boring and strange. I even feel stupid for going out with him in the first place!

How do I break up with my boyfriend? THANKS!

It's not your fault you don't feel the same. At least you're honest about it and not lying to yourself and your boyfriend.
The least you could do though, is to dump him in a "decent" way. Not through text/email/phone call/letter etc. Try and do it face to face, perhaps in a place that isn't so secluded, but not extremely busy. Y'know, a comfortable setting - maybe go for a drink somewhere and just explain why you took him there. You don't need to beat around the bush and do the whole "it's not me it's you" thing - just simply spit it out, make sure you give him reasons and then leave him to get over it and move on.

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Okay so, Ive been dating this guy for a few weeks and things have been great. We are seriously perfect for eachother. He lives 30 minutes away but he told me it didnt bother him, and I have no problem with a long distance relationship.

Well the past two days he hasnt talked to me once, and then this morning he broke up with me. He said it was because the distance was an issue and it sucked that he couldnt see me very often. I reluctantly agreed and accepted that out relationship was over, but we both decided to still be friends.

So tonight he texted me and started being very sexual. He told me that he wanted me, and that it was a bad thing that he wanted me because we werent dating. While we were dating we'd send flirtatious text messages, and thats exactly what he kept doing tonight.


I am very confused. Should I just forget about him? Is it a possibility that we'll get back together? Any advice is appreciated.

Seems like he still wants a bit of no strings attached fun.
If I were you, I'd tell him where to stick it.
30 minutes isn't exactly far - it's not often you get a boyfriend who lives next door to you, is it?
Travelling a little bit and waiting to see each other adds to the fun and shows you really do care about each other enough to work around it.
Feeding you that ridiculous "distance" nonsense just isn't good enough.
Ask him what the heck he's playing at. Does he want you back? If he says he doesn't know or simply no, forget about him and ignore his silly little texts. and if you do happen to get back with him, just be sure it's right and what you want.. after all, he could do it again.

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i had sex about a week ago, i fear i may be pregnant.. is there any way of preventing this pregnancy thats over a week old? Besides abortion. Anything simpler or easier?
Thanks.

No. Abortion or adoption.
Abortion this early on doesn't involve an op, but pills.
Why don't you take a pregnancy test?

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How am I supposed to ask for advice if I dont know what my problem is. This is what happened to me a few weeks ago. I met this lady, a very brilliant, smart, sophisticated type of a woman.

She went out with me several times, we shared notes in our school work...she is a Physician Assistant student at University of Minnesota and am going for my masters in Mass Communication and Journalism.

After a few weeks, she started missing my phone calls, ignoring my phone calls and when I confronted her she asked me for money to pay a medical bill of 1,200.00.

What was she upto? I wondered!

So I asked her if she thinks we are heading anywhere with our relationship?

She said I was not her type....I was not light skin enough....I was tall enough and had the hair she liked but I was not light skin enough.

Should I bleach myself...cause I really care about her.....pleae advise. thanks...bye


You should never EVER make drastic changes to yourself, just to please someone else.
Listen here, skin colour doesn't matter, it's probably an awful excuse she just said because she doesn't want to pursue a relationship with you. It also sounds like she just wanted to use you for your money.
So.. Ask her for your money back straight away. and please, to stop yourself getting hurt, forget about her. She already said you werent her type - so focus on getting over it and finding someone who loves you for YOU and doesn't want you to change.

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I'm super pretty. Super skinny. All the boys drool over me. But I'm nawt popular, because in 5th grade, i was a total LBR and i befriended the lamest girl in my class. Now,were still friends and shes still and LBR. Most of my friends are super popular and i would luh-v to hang with them instead I'm expected to hang out with my LBR. So how do i gradually drop her without hurting her feelings?
Thanks!
xoxo Kellie

Pull your head out of your ass, love.
If you want to ditch an old friend because you think you're super pretty, super skinny and want to be popular, you don't deserve her friendship anyway.
Why even go a nice way about it? She's going to be hurt either way. Just stop seeing her and go hang with your new chums.

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I was thinking the other day and if you have sex and you don't have an orgasm then it doesn't matter if your guy cums in you, right? Because the orgasm is what makes your egg come down to get fertilized, right? Something like that, I think. So, if the girl doesn't have an orgasm can she still get pregnant? ;) I was thinking that maybe my boyfriend and I could have sex and stop before I climaxed and then we wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant...

THANKS!

If you don't know you are 100% WRONG, you should NOT be having sex.
You do NOT need to have an orgasm in order to become pregnant.
Just use protection. Honestly, what is the big deal about not using it?

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My friend was telling me that if you have sex whiel you're on your period you cannot get an STD because of the blood flowing it out of you too quickly. She said she had sex with her boyfriend who had herpes and she didn't get it because they had sex while she was on her period. She totally isn't lying, I'm sure. I was curious if this was actually true though because it does kind of sound a little iffy to me and maybe she just had good luck or something. So, is it true that you can't get an STD if you have sex on your period?

LMAO. Biggest load of junk I have EVER heard.
You can get an STD if you're on your period or not. So if you don't want one, use protection and make sure your partner is clean before you decide to get physical.

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My boyfriend and I have sex without condoms. We've only used a condom once, actually, but we've only been having sex for a couple of weeks. He always pulls it out of me before he cums so he doesn't get me pregnant so we don't need condoms or anything like that.

My best friend said he probably still leaks in me a little and it's called precum. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he was like, "NO! I ALWAYS pull out of you, you know that!" I totally trust my boyfriend and I know he doesn't cum inside of me, obviously.

I'm still kind of worried though because I also don't think my best friend would lie to me about getting pregnant. I totally can NOT get pregnant by my boyfriend because my mom would kill me.

Can this "precum" really get me pregnant? Should I be worried that I might be pregnant? My period was due two days ago but I know sex delays your period so I wasn't worried about it...should I be concerned now?

Pre cum can contain sperm. End of.
He just probably doesn't feel it coming out.

Yes, you should be a little concerned, if it doesn't come soon, get a pregnancy test.

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Someone told me there was a facebook app that would tell you who is checking your profile.

Problem: I can't find it!

Can someone help me find out if I am being stalked on facebook?

Thank you!

There WAS one, I saw it a few days ago on numerous peoples profiles and on the homepage, where it gives you a list of people who frequently look at a certain persons profile. To be honest, I think it was a load of crap, because I got tagged in one, from a person whos profile I never even look at.
Facebook doesn't allow this and likes to keep it anonymous, so I guess they closed it down because it's not there any more. You should also realize that some apps are quite dodgy and can get your log in info etc, so if one crops up again in the future, don't bother with it. Just enjoy Facebook how you're meant to and stop worrying who checks out your profile - it kinda takes away the fun :P Who knows, maybe Facebook will make something similar in the future for people that don't want to remain anonymous.

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I wanna bleach my hair blond but I cant afford to go to the beauty salon or stylist. Can I just use clorox bleach on hair? If I can how much do I use and how do I do it for the best blonde?

I promise I will rate you!

After researching it, I have to say, it is a big risk!



"Since Clorox doesn't recommend that their product be used for hair, a study has not been done to determine how each shade of hair will respond to the bleach. Therefore, let go of any goals of a specific color.
Think twice if your hair is darker than medium brown. Darker hair colors tend to go through several different shades of orange until they go blonde, and a botched bleach job has turned many wanna-be blondes into people with orange hair who can't get into the salon for a corrective color soon enough."


Taken from http://www.ehow.com/how_5082551_bleach-hair-clorox-bleach.html

If you can't afford to go to the salon, next time you go shopping, check out the DIY bleach kits they have - I know they're a lot cheaper - also, ask a salon if you can buy your own bleach and have them do it for cheaper?

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I woke up after a nap with a coughing fit and I coughed up blood! This has happened before in the last couple weeks and it is really freaking me out!

What could be reason for coughing up blood when lying down? I know you aren't doctors so if you don't have any idea then should I see a doctor for this?

The following medical conditions are SOME of the possible causes of Coughing blood. There are likely to be other possible causes, so ask your doctor about your symptoms.

* Respiratory conditions
o Bronchitis
o Pneumonia
o Tracheobronchitis (see Bronchitis)
o Respiratory infection
o Chest infection
o Lung disorders
o Lung infection
o Lung fibrosis
o Bronchiectasis
o Ruptured lung blood vessel - such as from coughing too hard.


**see that last one?**

I don't mean to scare you, I'm just saying it's impossible for us to pinpoint why it's happening to you. Also, more info is needed on your behalf, such as, have you been ill recently/how much blood/is the blood in your phlegm/etc.
It's probably nothing serious - maybe a slight infection, or perhaps you've aggrivated something after your "coughing fit" but get checked over, incase you need treatment to get rid of whatever problem you may have. It has happened to me before after coughing a lot, so try not to worry. I know when you see blood, it does tend to freak you out, but there's always a reason for it and it should be addressed by a doc. Good luck.

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How do you get your rating up? It seems like no one rates people anymore!

..by answering more questions and perhaps adding a little reminder at the end of your answer, for the person to give a rating.

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17/f

My ex had given me a promise ring two years ago and I had just recently found it. It's gorgeous (he did have a lot of money) and I like to wear it alot. However, I have a new boyfriend and we've been going out for almost a year now. The ring has no sentimental value to me once so ever. I just think it's pretty. Is it wrong to wear it now that I have a new boyfriend?

Please give me your opinion. Thanks :D

How would you feel if it was the other way around and he was wearing the ring his ex girlfriend got him?
Although it doesn't have sentimental value, I, personally think it's a little rude to wear it - because it's not like a teddy bear or something, it's a promise ring - and once upon a time, it DID mean something to you. and no matter what, every time you look at it, you WILL remember where it came from, even if you don't want to.

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So we are going to go to a place with a hot-tub and we really need to know: Do condoms work underwater? I mean for sure?

I rate everybody!

http://contraception.about.com/od/additionalresources/ss/watersex.htm

An answer to your question and more, in case you were wondering. Make sure you give it a good read!

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Which kind of condom is the best/worst kind to use?

When used correctly, any condom is 98% effective - assuming you have stored it properly, it's not out of date, it's on properly and is the correct size!
Obviously, some people will prefer some brands to others and certain condoms have added extras for more pleasure, so it's about trying them and seeing which ones you prefer.

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18/female.
You should know that when I like I guy .. I distant myself and won't talk to him unless he texts/calls me first .. yeah I know doesn't get me far at ALL .. but I can't break it.

So.. there is this guy i've liked for so long .. we flirt all the time but don't get to see each other that often since we're both busy. We don't go to the same school either .. he's actually a yr younger than me. I haven't talked to him in like three weeks :(

ANYWAYS - my problem is that I had borrowed something to him about a month ago and had never gotten it back. I actually forgot he had it until now. I feel bad just texting him saying "do you think I could have it back?" To me, that just sounds kind of like a bitchy move .. but maybe its just me because I think everything sounds dumb when I'm talking to a guy I like. I remember telling him a few weeks ago he could have it for another week .. but then I needed it back and he was like haha okay .. but then I forgot about it and obviously he hasn't said anything. We never text each other just saying like "hey" so that would be strange for me to do .. and then ease my way into asking for it back.

I don't know what to do .. how can I ask for my stuff back without me seeming like a retard. I could say something like I forgot you had it .. but then what .. but now I remembered and it'd be nice to have it back??

I look into things way too much .. but could someone please help me on what to just text him saying ... because then after I ask him it'd be nice to talk to a little bit .. so I don't really just want to be like do you think you could give it back to me? Because he'd probably just be like "yeah"

It's not a bitchy move! It's perfectly normal and understandable to want your stuff back.
Seeing as he can't be bothered to talk to you about it, just come staight out and say it. Or if you don't want to sound so serious, make a little joke about it.. "so when am I going to get ____ back? :P"
Lessens the mood a bit, don'tcha think? ;)

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okay i'm 14/f and i already have my ear lobes pierced. today i asked my mom if i could get my cartilage pierced and she went off and said no. i was like wtf? the only reason she had was that ears aren't meant to be pierce their ears there. i even offered to pay to get it done but she still wont budge.. how can i get her to let me get it done? im about to just do it myself..

Hey, if you can pinch it, you can pierce it!
If you really want it done, I would advise you to do some RESEARCH (aftercare, risks, etc) and show your mum. Sometimes, if you prove you know what you're getting yourself in to, they will trust you to do it. Also research on piercing parlours. Make it known it's not just a piercing you're going to get on a whim, and that it's something you've thought carefully about and have wanted it for a while. Also, try to negotiate - perhaps if you get good grades, it could be a treat?
If she still says no, don't go behind her back and do it anyway - you're trying to show her you are a maturing young adult here - and anyway, don't forget you won't be 14 forever, so as you get older, you're free to do what you want!

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