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How do I dump my boyfriend?
I've been dating my boyfriend for two months now and I've come to realize that I really don't have any interest in him. I'm ready to "move on" to somebody else that interests me more and that can make me happy.
My boyfriend is good guy though. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to lie to him either. We're just not compatible, I guess, because I think he's really boring and strange. I even feel stupid for going out with him in the first place!
How do I break up with my boyfriend? THANKS!
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It's not your fault you don't feel the same. At least you're honest about it and not lying to yourself and your boyfriend.
The least you could do though, is to dump him in a "decent" way. Not through text/email/phone call/letter etc. Try and do it face to face, perhaps in a place that isn't so secluded, but not extremely busy. Y'know, a comfortable setting - maybe go for a drink somewhere and just explain why you took him there. You don't need to beat around the bush and do the whole "it's not me it's you" thing - just simply spit it out, make sure you give him reasons and then leave him to get over it and move on.
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you cant help that feelings change, its a part of life. and it happens.
when i broke up with one of my exboyfriends, it was really hard.. because i didnt want to hurt him, but eventually, you realize that if he cares about you, hes going to be hurt any way you do it. but the level of hurt he'll suffer will depend entirely on your approach to it.
dont break up with him over the internet.. no text message, no e-mail, facebook, IM, phone, nothing like that. and no notes or letters, you have to do it face to face; in person. believe it or not, it hurts more over the internet and such things, its so abrupt and not emotional at all.
with that said, meet up with him somewhere that it will only be the 2 of you and no one else. maybe your house, that way it can be really private. and when you tell him to hang out with you, dont make it sound like its going to be the "break up" day because thatll just start things off on a bad note and you want to end on a fairly good one.
so, when he comes over, act normal and after making small talk, bring it up maybe like.. "so i had something i wanted to talk about." and he'll be like, okay whats up. and you can say something like, "alright well, ive been thinking about it alot, and i care about you, but i dont think we are the right people to be together anymore. youre a great guy and i know youll find someone who will love you so much, but i want us to still be friends, im so sorry." and then, as the other advice columnist said.. let him speak.
communcication is key, and he might get mad or really upset with you, but let him. this is going to be hard for him, no matter what. but he'll get over it. dont worry.
good luck, hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me. you got this. xxo.
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you can't prevent his feelings from being hurt. they are most likely going to be hurt. you just have to do it slowly and truthfully. take him somewhere private. i wouldn't do it at either of your houses, because thats awkward. do it like when you guys are on a walk, or going to get coffee, or walking around in the mall. just make sure no one can overhear and no one notices you two.
then just tell him "i really want to tell you something, and its not easy for me to say it. but just promise me you'll listen to me and don't freak out. my feelings for you have changed. I feel like we aren't compatible together. You're a great guy, but you're not the guy for me. I'm really sorry, but I'd rather tell you the truth about my feelings, rather than lie to you about my feelings just to make you feel better. do you have anything to say?"
and then let him speak. its important that when he does speak, you don't interrupt him. interruptions are really rude and it normally leads to fighting. so first speak, then listen and let him say what he wants. then when he's done telling you everything, you can speak.
also, make sure you look him in the eye. if your eyes are wandering around, it shows weakness and maybe even lying.
you can do it. just be honest, but nice about it. no reason to get bitchy about it and rude.
good luck :)
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