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Why is it so hard to ask him for it back?
18/female.
You should know that when I like I guy .. I distant myself and won't talk to him unless he texts/calls me first .. yeah I know doesn't get me far at ALL .. but I can't break it.
So.. there is this guy i've liked for so long .. we flirt all the time but don't get to see each other that often since we're both busy. We don't go to the same school either .. he's actually a yr younger than me. I haven't talked to him in like three weeks :(
ANYWAYS - my problem is that I had borrowed something to him about a month ago and had never gotten it back. I actually forgot he had it until now. I feel bad just texting him saying "do you think I could have it back?" To me, that just sounds kind of like a bitchy move .. but maybe its just me because I think everything sounds dumb when I'm talking to a guy I like. I remember telling him a few weeks ago he could have it for another week .. but then I needed it back and he was like haha okay .. but then I forgot about it and obviously he hasn't said anything. We never text each other just saying like "hey" so that would be strange for me to do .. and then ease my way into asking for it back.
I don't know what to do .. how can I ask for my stuff back without me seeming like a retard. I could say something like I forgot you had it .. but then what .. but now I remembered and it'd be nice to have it back??
I look into things way too much .. but could someone please help me on what to just text him saying ... because then after I ask him it'd be nice to talk to a little bit .. so I don't really just want to be like do you think you could give it back to me? Because he'd probably just be like "yeah"
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A bitchy move would be:
"You know, you're really acting selfish and stupid since we broke up..."
A smart move would be:
"Hey, let's get together. And could you bring me back that ____? {insert more conversation here}"
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It's not a bitchy move! It's perfectly normal and understandable to want your stuff back.
Seeing as he can't be bothered to talk to you about it, just come staight out and say it. Or if you don't want to sound so serious, make a little joke about it.. "so when am I going to get ____ back? :P"
Lessens the mood a bit, don'tcha think? ;)
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You see this item as a way to lose him but it can used to your advantage..this is item ties you two together. Depending on the item, you would probably need to use the item so you could say, "hey i know that i said you could keep the item a little longer but i was kind of wondering if you could give it back because i really need to use". maybe he can come by your house and drop it off. When he comes to the door, invite him in, and ask if he wants to stay and hang out for awhile. I distance myself from the people I care about also and it is almost impossible to breka out of that habit. The best thing to do is to try and put in effort into being friends with the guy. Just because he hasn't put in an effort doesn't mean he isn't interested, maybe he likes a woman who takes charge. I would just pace myself and take it one step at a time.
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You said you needed it back and he replied, "haha okay" and never returned it?
Sounds like jerk behavior on his part, considering it is his responsibility to return the item to you.
You need to just buck up and say, "Look, I hate to sound like a bitch, but I really need my item back. I loaned it to you a month ago, so I expect you to return it to me tomorrow." (Make sure you tell him to return it by a certain date!)
Being firm and to the point with people is not a bad thing. Seems he's walking on you about this, and life is difficult when you allow people to walk on you. This is a prime opportunity to step up for yourself.
It's also a prime opportunity to realize that men are no better than women, and it's a huge mistake to put them on a pedestal.
Now go get your stuff back.
It's YOUR stuff.
31/f
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whhy dont you just start the conversation with hey what are you up to today I haven't talked to you for a while? when he texts back talk for a little bit. then say Do you think we can meet up so i can get that thing i let you borrow back and maybe we can hang out a little bit. you have to just go for it. send it and then take a breath.
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