Since I was five and up until I was ten, there was a man that used to abuse me and my bedridden mother. Finally when I was ten years old, my mother kicked him out. A few years after that, I was taken out of my mother's house, and am now living with my 30 year old sister, and her fiance. Anyway, off of the background. a couple years ago, I had a dream that I would run into the abuser guy, and then I did! Nothing bad happened to me that time, but now I'm having nightmares about him again! I'm afraid, because the nightmares are worse than last time, and I'm afraid something really bad might happen. What should I do??? I know dreams don't always mean something, but it's been happening for three nights now. I'm really frightened. :O
I don't know if what I tell you can help, but it helped my mother immensly.
She had an abusive husband for a long time when I was growing up. When she finally kicked him out for the last time, he would not let us go. He showed up at out house late at night, but luckily our dog never liked his abusive ass and attacked him. My mother would always have nightmares, and along with other stresses in her life, it was giving her a nervous breakdown.
She got counceling, and one of the things that they told her to do was forgive everyone that hurt her.
It was the hardest thing she ever did. But she finally got up the nerve to pray for her ex husband and forgive him one night.
The nightmares stopped, the stress stopped, the worry stopped. In that next month her and a good friend saw the ex at a fair. He had been avoiding the cops for some time, and my mother was able to call them and be the reason that he went to jail.
Of course she will always hate this man, but forgiving him in her mind helped her get the bad things out of her mind.
I think you should attempt this. You need to get your mind off of him. I think that your having these dreams because of your stress of what will happen. You think that they will come true, only because of the coincedence that happened before. If you get this asshole out of your mind, then the dreams will stop.
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20, male.
Okay, the girl I'm going out with and I are sitting watching TV. We've only been dating for a few days, but I've been her friend since before elementary school. She mentions a mutual friend was talking about a movie that we passed. So I, the idiot that I am, accidently call her by the friend's name. She pulled away from me for a few seconds, and then went into my arms again.
I explained that it was only because she mentioned her name seconds before, but is that enough? Should I try to explain in detail that I have no feelings for this other girl or should I drop it?
Dude, it's adorable how your so nervous with her.
Anyway, everyone else is right. She didn't think anything of it, and if you dwell on it, and mention it, then that's the only reason she might think something is up.
If you act all guilty, it usually means you are. Or at least that's what I've always thought when guys act guilty in situations like that with me.
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My mom is the biggest blabbermouth of all time. She can't keep her secrets to herself. She can't keep MY secrets to herself. She tells everyone the details about my life. She humiliates me infront of everyone. She makes up lies to exaggerate the truth. I really don't know what to do. Should I just stop telling her things? I can't stand the way my life is out there and availible to anyone that wants to hear about it.
I wouldn't suggest not telling her stuff. It's pretty important to be able to have a comfortable, honest relationship with your mother.
But you do need to talk to her and tell her that if she doesn't stop, then you won't be able to tell her the details of your life. She needs to understand that it's upsetting you.
But, seriously, I think she's a pretty normal mom. She is proud of you and wants to show you off and talk about you all the time.
Soon, you will learn to accept it, and not get embarrassed over it. My mother has been doing the same thing to me for 21 years. As you get older, you'll realize that the things that embarrass you aren't as important, or embarrassing, as they seem.
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My cat had kittens 7 weeks ago and has just been spayed. I have kept 3 of the kittens and have been told by the vet not to let her feed the kittens as her milk has dried up.
This is prooving very difficult as she keeps calling them to be fed and they feed of her, i am concerned that her milk flow will start again.
Please can you advise me how to stop this without seperating them altogether.
Thank-you
If you can't be around them and watch over them, and make sure that the mother cat is not letting them suckle, then you need to seperate them.
Seriously, less than 50% of people actually do what their Vet tells them to do, and this can lead to problems and reaccuring visits by their animals. People are also not likely to ask more questions for fear of sounding stupid. Don't be afraid that your going to sound stupid. The people at your Veterinarians office are trained to handle every situation that comes up with your pets. Use their expertise and give them a call when you have a problem.
Animals are usually seperated from their mothers at 8 weeks, since your kittens are 7 weeks, and they're already eating solid food, then I'm going to assume that they're quite old enough to be on their own.
If you end up seperating them, then keep all of the kittens together. The mother cat will most likely be upset, but will be much happier over all. Spaying can be quite painful, and I'm sure the kittens suckleing are making it even worse.
But, let them be together when you are able to watch them and stop the kittens from suckling.
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my friend came to school after she had like 2-3 cones (which is NOT much) and she was acting COMPLETELY off her face, and i had to look after her to make sure the teachers didnt catch her.. but 3 hours later she was still acting stoned off her nut.. worst off she kept hitting me calling me a slut and that when i said something to mates.. it was really irritating me because i was looking after her.. she was just acting like a idiot though.. i dont see how only 2-3 cones can give u a buzz for more then an hour with anyone and leave her swaying and acting like a idiot i was just wondering has that happened to anyone before? i really think she was putting it on for attention
well, I feel out of the loop, since I don't know what the fuck a cone is.
Anyway, everyone seems to think that 2-3 of them is not much. I have had friends like this.
First off, she was quite moronic to do it in school. You know if someone tries to go to school stoned, they're pretty much showing off in the first place.
If you know her, then you probably know whether she has done this before. If she isn't used to the drug, then it may affect her differently. I had a friend in high school that tried experimenting, but everything affected her way too much. I know this girl wasn't faking.
But, it sounds like your friend was being an immature high schooler trying to act like the normal druggy steriotype just to get attention.
I hate people who need to pretend to be a druggie just to get attention.
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My dog just ate 4 or 5 thin mint girl scout cookies. In case you don't know what those are, they're cookies with a lot of chocolate. He already finished them by the time I tried to get them away from him. I know that chocolate is very bad for dogs, and I'm really scared. I'm home alone so I can't go to the vet right now, and my mom won't be home until later tonight. Do you think he'll be okay? Is there anything I can do? Please help! I rate 5's!!!
I'm very upset that anyone could possibly give you advice such as "he'll be fine"
One of the most commonly encountered poisonings in pet dogs is theobromine, or chocolate, poisoning.
The the first signs of chocolate poisoning are vomiting and diarrhea, increased urination and nausea. These can progress to cardiac arrhythmias and seizures.
Basically, the rule of thumb is that the darker the chocolate, the more dangerous it is. If I remember correctly from my girl scout days, thin mints have dark chocolate. This is not good. Darker chocolate has more theobromine in it, which is what causes the poisonous effect in dogs.
DO NOT listen to anyone who tries to say "my dog ate ten pounds of chocolate, and he's fine"
Chocolate poisoning is very serious for dogs. I'm going to school to be a Veterinary Technologist and learned all about this last semester. Call a Veterinarian, or poison control right away.
A full sized 70-80 pound lab could die from eating simply a cup full of dark chocolate.
Yes, there are the RARE cases where a dog is not allergic to Theombomine. But do you really want to risk it? Is your dog worth that?
oh, and I forgot, you should start to see any poisoning symptoms within 6 hours.
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how did you get the music on your advice column?
Please help I rate high!
You don't get the music on your advice column. It's annoying and rude to the nice people who try to visit your column. There are many columns that I simply refuse to look at because the music is so horendous on them.
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I've been a member for exactly 30 days. (I also meet all other requirements for level 1 moderatorship) However, when I clicked the link to become a moderator, the page said I was not qualified. Is this a bug in the system or a mix-up on my part?
You joined this site on February 13th. (I am a level 2 mod, so was able to check your account out)
Anyway,
There are only 28 days in February, so it's only been 29 days since you joined. You must wait until tomorrow.
It doesn't go by months, it goes by days.
Also, the "make me a moderator" page should have told you what you need to become a moderator.
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to those of you who go to college: is 18 hours a semester a little too much? i'm a highschool senior, graduating early, and i also want to get through college as fast as possible too. i also want to work while i'm there... does this mean that i'd have no social life whatsoever? i don't want to kill myself with schoolwork like i have been this whole year but i also want to get out of there asap, i have my reasons.
In my opinion, I think it would be a pretty bad idea. But that's because I have had bad luck at getting myself motivated.
There's a number of things that it would depend on. Like the other's have said, it depends on the type of classes you take. The classes that I take are all very hard science classes that involve a lot of reading outside of class, and all the exams end up being during the same week. I would never think about taking more than four at a time. Other students manage to do it, but they have no time to relax at all during the semester.
Like notso said, it's a good idea to look into summer classes. The hard thing about summer classes is that they're usually scrunched into a shorter time frame, so you get about half the time to do things then you would if it was a normal semester. So it's a good idea to take no more than 2 classes per semester. But, then again, I've talked to students who have taken as many as four or more classes per summer semester. They just don't have time for anything else.
Another thing you have to think about is whether or not your going to have a job while in college. Having a part time job really tires me out and interrupts my homework schedule. Even though I only work 20 hours a week at the absolute most, it still takes away a lot of time.
It's good to get a feel for the classes. Some teachers tell you that for every hour you spend in class, you should be spending at least 4 hours outside of class doing homework. This sounds quite insane huh? But, in some instances it's needed each week.
You could always try it out, and withdraw from the class before the cut off period for withdrawing. You will still have to pay for the class, but it might be worth it to see for yourself whether or not you'll be able to handle it. Different people can handle different workloads.
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My dog barks at the slightest movement or sound. He chases my four cats around and when hes on a walk he chases cars. He is a Border Collie, so it is natural for him to try to herd things. He is so out of control sometimes that he will see the neighbor dogs from the inside window and will throw himself at the window, barking like a maniac. What do you suggest I do?
This happens to most Border Collies. They are extremely intelligent dogs, but they also have an extreme amount of energy to burn because of what they were originally bred for.
You absolutely need to give him the opportunity to burn off some energy. Try to find a large field where he can run for an hour or two, at least once a day.
It also sounds like this dog needs more socialization. If he is charging at everything that moves, it's because he is way too excited when he see's different things. Do you have any sort of "Puppy play time" things around there? It doesn't matter if he isn't a puppy anymore, there may be some sort of get together with a lot of dog owners to let their dogs socialize and play. I know there is something like this around my area, where dog's as large as Great Danes, get together and play with dogs as small as Pugs. The person that started the group also happens to own a Border Collie, and she started it just for the purpose of getting some energy out of the dog.
Also, what type of obediance classes did you take? Did you take class where you where your dog went to someone without you and learned things? Or was it a class where you took your dog somewhere and were taught how to teach him things?
Most obedience classes are not to just teach your dog. They are to teach you how to train your dog.
You need to learn how to walk him. This will help with him thinking that it's ok to chase cars and other things outside... Here's a few tips on that.
First, get a gentle leader. This is a collar, that loops around his snout. This is NOT a muzzle, it is a collar. It will make it so he is not able to pull you down the street. It works much the same way that a horses leader works. If the dog tries to pull in one direction that you don't want him to go, then it will just turn his head sideways towards you. A dog can't walk forward if his head is turned sideways. Trust me, It worked wonders with my 150 pound Rottweiler.
Now that you have a gentle leader, take him for walks daily. If he starts to pull AT ALL then just stop. Do not let him go forward, because he will learn "I pull, and I get to go where I want to go" But, if you just stop, then he'll learn "I pull and I don't get to go anywhere."
It will take a lot of time and patience, but DO NOT stop this simple training. If he starts pulling and you let him get away with it for even one second, then his training will go down the drain right away. But if you keep up with it, and stop EVERY time he starts to pull on the leash, then he learn soon.
Now, this leash training should help you immensely. But, you also need to let him get his exercise. If you don't, then he will go crazy and get very destructive. Trust me, this is the main reason that Border Collies and other herding type dogs are brought into shelters. But, if you learn to deal with his high energy, he can be one of the most intelligent dogs ever.
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ok well for my AIM profile it always has a text limit & this bothers me but like some of my friends found out how 2 make the text limit UNLIMITED! Does anyone know how 2 do this!? I'll give out 5's if it works
if your friends found out, then why don't you ask them?
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i know you dont like being asked this.. but like i dont understand the whole shaving down there thing.. being totally honest i dont kno what to do.. do guys like it like that? im not trying to be immature just help thanks
So, are you asking me how to shave? Because I can give you a link to a question that I answered previously explaining how a beginner should start out shaving.
http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=269438
That should help you with that part.
Now, for the other questions. Do guys like it? Well, I'm not a guy, and I haven't talked to ever guy, so I can't tell you what every guy thinks. Before I shaved, my boyfriend at the time asked me to. I was completely turned off by the idea, thinking "why would he want my vagina to look like a 10 year olds"
After I broke up with him, I first tried it when I was single. The person that I went out with after that seemed to like it. I think it's good for oral sex. If a guy goes down on a girl who does not shave, then hair is likely to get in the way. I know how awful this is because my ex boyfriend used to shave his pubic hair. That made things much easier.
But, this is not something you should be worrying about. You seem like your a young girl, and you should not concern yourself with what a guy wants, you should only concern yourself with what you want.
I am single right now, am not sexually active, and do not plan to be sexually active for quite some time. But I continue to shave to make myself feel better.
It's sort of like... you do curl your hair and put on makeup, even if you know that your not going to go out or see anyone important.. just because it makes you feel pretty and gives you a little ego boost. Shaving should be about that. It should be about making yourself feel better, not making a guy feel better. If he can't accept you the way that you want to be, then forget him.
Most of the things about this subject can be found online. That is how I learned. I searched online, past the porn sites that ineviatably come up when you search "how to shave pubic hair", took several techniques, tried them, and decided which was best for me.
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What do you guys think of a 18-year-old(f) dating a 24-year-old(m). And don't give any of that "age doesn't matter crap" bcasue it does. What do yall think of the maturity levels?
The biggest problem I see... The 18-year-old is still a freshman in college and the 24-year-old graduated 2 years ago.
Personally, I think the "girls mature faster than guys, so it's fine" argument is complete bullshit. That is a stupid generalization that young girls use as an excuse for dating a much older guy.
That being said, my female roommate is 20, and her boyfriend is 26. They have been dating for quite a few years now, and I don't see a problem with them making it, even after her boyfriend graduates college, and she still stays in college.
But I can't tell you whether or not the two people you are talking about will make it, because I don't know them.
They could be more like another pair of friends I have. The guy is 23, the girls is 18. The girl is WAY too immature for him. They have cheated many times, yet they were "in love" with each other after the first night.
Since you've asked this question, they are probably going to start, or continue a relationship. Whether or not they make it, or the relationship ends horribly, all depends on the two of them, not some bullshit answer by people who don't know them.
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Does anyone know a very good way to get rid of warts, like on your hands and stuff, because, I've tried so many products and they suck. So, does anyone have any recommendations?
If you freeze them off, the will sometimes re-appear if the entire root has not been killed durring the freezing.
To help ensure that this doesn't happen:
After the pain dies down, anywhere from 2-5 days after your get it frozen off, you should start to soak the area in warm water.
Also, take an emery board, or soft sandpaper and sort of sand away the callous left behind.
Keep the area covered with a bandage to keep moisture in.
Also, you could try sticking duct tape on it, leave the duct tape on until it gets nasty, take it off, and start all over again.
I got all of these from my doctor, and from my sister who had to deal with a nasty wart on her foot when she was younger.
Thinking posatively, and being confident that the wart will go away helps too. Trust me. When my sister had to deal with freezing after freezing, and burning after burning, for at least 3 years. One summer, she was scheduled to get it surgically removed. After she got that appointment she began to think posatively about it going away and it ended up dissapearing before her appointment even came.
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my dog has severe nervous agression he has never been hit he lives with a female dog my self and my son he has never gone to bite me but growelled you go to stroke him he cowers and wees i cannot touch his feet he screams he has slightly bite other pple but not badly he does not like other dogs he gets on with our other dog but occasionally they disagree they are both neutered he is the most loving and attentive dog ive seen towards myself he sleeps at my feet follows me everywhi dont know what to do ere crys when i leave the room
I answer a lot of question like this, and they tend to get quite long. So, I found some of my answers to similar questions by searching through the "Pets" section of my column. Hopefully some will help you.
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=277329
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=275596
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=272870
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=270183
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=265865
That second question is about rabbits, but I thought it might help you since your dog tends to be scared. Perhaps getting your dog used to human interaction will help.
Also, the advice about bringing the dog to the Vet is awsome. You should always bring him to the Vet first to find out if there are any underlying health problems that are causing him to act this way. He could be blind, deaf, have skin problems, or anything else that might be causing him pain.
Dog's often do not show that they are in pain because of their instincts. In the wild, if an animal seems like he/she isn't in top health, then that animal will either get eaten, or left behind to die. But your Vet will be able to tell if he is in pain, and will also be able to tell you a good dog behavioralist in your area that could help you out further.
If the questions that I gave you don't answer your question on what to do, then you can try asking me another question and I'll see if I can help you and your dog out more. It would be a shame if you had to give your puppy up because of this. If he ends up biting another person, then he will most likely need to be put to sleep. If you fix this problem, and are completely aware of it, then you can stop that from happening.
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I've gotten a couple ridiculous questions in my inbox lately- disgusting questions and some that, i just don't have any idea what to say to them. but i feel bad just not answering these people. does anyone else have this problem?
I've gotten disgusting questions, and some that I don't know how to answer.
For the questions that I don't know how to answer, I usually give them advice to ask the entire site, if it's a decent question. That way, they can get help from other people, hopefully someone who knows more about the subject.
As for the disgusting questions-this tends to happen when people try over and over again to ask to the entire site, only to have their question deleted. If you get these question often, then you might want to send in an abuse report with a link to the questions. Just make sure you send a link to the "view question" NOT a link to the "answer question" because the level 2's can't go to a link to "answer question" if the question has been asked to a different person.
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Am I the only one that believes people should type correctly when asking a question? Is there some way to create something that would change words that were "Chatspeak" to English?
For example:
there is dis boi, i relli relli like him! wat do i do?
Would become:
There is this boy, I really, really, like him! What do I do?
I know that is a dumb question to start with, but it's an example. I don't know how to create a program that would change the "fake" words into "real" words.. if you know, and would share, you rock!
admin already has a chatspeak detector in effect on this site. She has certain words in the detector, and if you try to ask a question, or answer a question with more than two of those words, then your question will not go through and you will be asked to speak in English.
Since she put that in effect, the questions have gotten incredubly better. If you see any questions on this site that have a large amount of chatspeak, or if there are a few words that you see often, I would suggest giving admin a list through the "suggestions" link on the sidebar.
Other than that, it's been under consideration to try to change questions with chatspeak, to questions with English, but stupid people like Kr4z3y_Ch3lly would get angry and think that we're trying to "butcher" their already butchered question.
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Okay this is not even a question. I get that so don't start saying how i should ASK a question. I am answering a question that is asked 24/7.
"I really like this guy. How do i get a him to like me too?"
Okay. Simple. YOU CAN'T!!! You cant 'make' a guy like you. He has to do that all by himself. People fall for people that dont like them back all the time so get over it!!!
Sorry if i seem rude. it's just pissing me off. :)
Ya know, there is something you can do to try to change this.
First, your a level 1 moderator, that means you can give all of those moronic questions a little frown. When five other level 1, 2 or 3 moderators give the same question a frown, it is deleted.
Second, you can ask QUESTIONS that you feel are interesting, and should be on this site. This will serve as an example for all the morons, and let them see what a smile question is supposed to look like.
And, thirdly, you can ANSWER those sort of questions with what you just said. Your bound to get rated with a few 1's, but wouldn't it be worth it just to get it through one idiots head that you can't make a guy like you?
For now, just rate them all with frowns. That's what the rating questions system is there for, it doesn't work if you don't use it.
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He's hurting so much. My fiancee. He learned last September that the father he never met died three years earlier. We were only engaged for two months when he learned this. He is so distant now I can't even reach him on this subject. He doesn't talk about it. He is so different now. I ask him. he doesn't say. It is so strange now. We went from sharing everything to sharing some things. It's killing him and it's killing me. I don't want to be selfish but I need to be the one he turns to. He hasn't talked to anyone he says. Do I need to just back off or should I pursue him. I need to get him back to good.Please help.21/f
I'm not quite sure why this would be so bad for him. Do you even know if he's hurting as much as you seem to think? Why does he have to gush about something that might not even be bothering him?
I think that this is something you need to really back off about. It's very possible that your over-reacting because you think he should be hurt. But that doesn't mean he is. You say he's so different now, but I think it's just your outlook on him that is different. You seem to be imagining things that aren't really true. You think he's become distant and isn't telling you everything, but maybe he is telling you everything.
He didn't even know his father, why should it matter. He has absolutely nothing to miss.
I met my father when I was 16, I'm now 21 and honestly wouldn't miss him a bit if he died. This sounds very harsh, but I don't know the guy, he makes no effort to know me, and I've never had him around, so I have nothing to miss about him.
Your fiance has nothing to miss either. If you continue to bug him about it, he's only going to pull away more. Let him come to you, if there is even anythign that he needs to come to you about. But seriously, from what you've said, it just seems like your the one taking this death harshly, not him.
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What Happens when you edit an answer?
Does the person get an alert or anything? If an answer to a question is edited- will the person ever find out?
I have recently edited a few questions, and i was wondering if there was a point or not.
Thanks!!
*-KeLs-*
The person will get an email saying that their question has been answered again.
Whether or not they think to scroll down and re-read your answer again is up to them. You could try making your edit more noticable, like, by putting "EDIT:" before you write it.
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