Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

soo i was wondering if their was any songs that say like im better then any other girl you could ever find, no one will love you more then me..stuff like that. thanks!

I'm the Only One- Melissa Etheridge
Betcha She Don't Love You- Jessica Simpson
Love You Much Better- The Hush Sound

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What are some ways to get over an ex boyfreind?
I have spent six months trying to get over my ex and I just cant do it. I dont even ever see him but I just always think about him and wish he would take me back.

Find a distraction. Get a hobby, get a new guy, get a pet. Though in my experience just finding a new guy didn't really help. In this time focus on making yourself happy and not worrying on someone else.

Stop thinking about relationships and boys for a while. Dedicate yourself to changing 2009 into "two-thousand and divine" (this phrase was stolen from galadarling.com, which is where you should go to learn more ways to be very happy!)

http://galadarling.com/article/letting-go-of-the-past-getting-back-together

Start by reading this. Though you have already figured out you aren't getting back with you ex, this may help remind you WHY.

http://galadarling.com/article/romancing-yourself

Then read this to learn how to love yourself before someone else!

(If you haven't noticed, I kind of love this blog (:).

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I've been going out with this guy for a few weeks now and he always makes dinner for me using his family's italian recipies. So I promised him that I was going to make him dinner. But now I dont know what to make. He's a really good cook and I know I'm not so something simple but tasty would be good. He's always asking me to make him something but I don't think he knows quite how terrible my cooking skills are. So what can I make?

http://www.recipezaar.com/Asian-Salad-Supreme-350467

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Crustless-Spinach-Quiche/Detail.aspx

http://www.cheapcooking.com/Recipes/chicken-creole.htm

You can find more by searching for easy recipes. I recommend trying quiche recipes, they're quite easy to make.

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i dont think this is really in the right category, but i didnt know where to put it so anyways... I was just wondering what guys think is the perfect bra size.

Guys all have different opinions about it. Some like really big ones, some like small, but truthfully most would just be glad to be able to touch some. As long as you don't stuff your bra, it really doesn't matter.

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this may be long but im desperate!
14/f
ok on october 25th me and my friend went to this hangout place and played games and stuff. now my friend is the type to go up to a guy and say hes hot then walk away. okay so shes had boyfriends but shes not a slut now im fat (but im working on it) and ive never had a boyrfriend. there were these to guys that we walked by and she went up to them and she was like do yall go to our school and i told her no they go to ***** (15 minutes from where i live) how do you
know and i said because i went to fifth grade with one of them (not the hot one) then we left. and i kept telling her how cute the other one was and so they both go to the school i was gonna go to if i hadnt moved and all my old bestfriends go to their school. so we were walking around and i was txting my cousin so i was like ya ok and she came back he the hot one was with her and im really shy so i was shocked and he asked me for my number and i got his then my friend and i were walking around some more and there was this one ride i REALLY wanted to go on but she was too scared so she went up to him and asked him if he would go on the ride (an enclosed, 2 person, upside down ride) and he said he didnt have any money left so she INSISTED on giving him the money so he said ya but in like 10 minutes his friend and him said they were gonna go outside to talk to somebody (and we were like ya right there not coming back) so twenty minutes later we went outside to see if they were there and they wernt so we came back and like five muntes later i saw them and he waved by to me and thats it so i fianlly convinced my friend to go on the ride with me and we were waiting in line and i was picking a ride and then i saw my friend turn around and i turned around and he was standing there (my heart dropped, i was so shocked) and so my friend was like you saved me and me and him got on the ride and then he left without saying bye but i started txting him that night and i was asking him questions like so whats your favorite band etc. and he was really short with his answers and he never asked me anything and i was like do u want me to stop asking you questions and he was like idc. then my friend took my phone while i was in the shower ( i told her to) and she called him! and she was like hey do you like her a little tiny bit? and he was like uhmmmmmmmm uhmmmmmmmm uhmmmmmmmmm ya i like her eyes, but i just need to get to know her before we date(:. then they hung up so i said good night then the next night (sunday) he called me from a different number and he was letting me know that hecan recieve and calls a texts but he cant call or txt people and i was like oh then he was like ya but you can call me tonight or tomorrow or both if you want. then that night i called him and we had a really good 30minute conversation, we have a lot in common. and he was like i have a question and i said what and he was like do you wear contacts? and i said no and he said you well you have really pretty eyes (there green.) and i was like aw thanks. (the nicest thing he has ever said to me. so i called him everyother day and he was really just to tired to talk and we have really awkward silences soin total we have only had like 3 good convos since then but one night we were talking and we talk for like 30 40 minutes and he was like hey what time are you going to sleep and i said midnight probably and he was like ok then ill call you at 11 so we can talk for an hour, and i was like ok but ur probably gonna forget and he was like know i wont i swear i double swear i promise. then he called me 12 cause he thought it was 11 and we didnt even talk a lot cause we were both really tired. so i ALWAYS CALL HIM like hes only called me TWICE and we never have anything to talk about except for on the weekends. and last weekend i was at his school cause my bestfriend was in a play and i went to go see it and the next day i called him and was like i was at your school last night and he was like why and i told himwhy and he was like ohh you should have called me i couldve seen it with you(: but yaa i mean i would LOVE to go to the movies with him or something im just so shy and fat... :/
what do you think??
should i stop calling him?
do you think he likes me?
ive gone a couple weeks without calling himn to see if he would call me and he didnt.
i need help dudes.
please??

oh and about a month ago we had a really good conversation and i was like dude i really wanna go to the movies and he was like ill go with you.
and then i accidently met his mom and he was really happy about that..

First off, nobody is fat. Fat is a nutrition substance found in food that surrounds and protects internal organs. Do you surround and protect internal organs? I think not. Therefore, you aren't fat.

I think you should call him and ask him out. Gather up all the confidence you have and just go for it. What do you have to lose? If he says no, it'll hurt, no doubt, but then you can just move on. You're only going to drive yourself crazy wondering his feelings. It's best to go find out for yourself.

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Okay, I know this is a seemingly weird question to ask, but I will ask it anyway, and hope that it is only older individuals who can offer helpful answers who will respond. I dated a guy two years ago and have remained very close friends with him since, but we broke up because he could not be as affectionate as I wanted him to be, which drove me crazy. So now I'm thinking about the bigger picture, and how when I'm around him everything else seems to fit when we're friends, and I'm wondering this. Do I consider marrying him in the future because we get along so well but possibly sacrifice a booming sex life? I have to say, when it comes to girls, I'm about the only one who understands him, or who tolerates him, and I know he cares deeply for me, but I guess I just know I'd be happy spending the rest of my life around him every day, but don't know if that means with him as my husband. He's just a friend I never want to lose, so I can't tell if I want to keep him around intrinsically or just so I have my life planned. I love him a lot, but would that be settling? Help! I can send more info if you're interested too.

"He's just a friend I never want to lose{..}"

When you used the word just, you summed it up. He's just a friend. Would you rather marry someone who is "just a friend" or someone who is your best friend, lover, other half, etc? I don't believe in soul mates, but I do believe love can last forever. Someone who is "just a friend" probably isn't someone you are going to love forever.

With that being said, no one on advicenators can make this decision for you. We can give you our opinion, but whether he is a suitable husband or not is up to you.

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18/f
so i'm not really clear on the definition of
"getting felt up" im sure there is no exact definition but what is the concept? because guys have like grabbed my butt, and like rubbed it? rubbed my stomach and my boobs and stuff like that. is that considered being felt up?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=felt+up

"
When two people feel eachother's private parts i.e. bum, boobs, vag and dick. This can be wanted or unwanted but when people say this, they usually mean it was unwanted."

It generally refers to the chest area.

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Ok im a 17year old guy I really really like this girl who is in my school and I think that she likes me though i cant be sure but the problem is that she is 3 years younger than me.I was wondering if i asked her out would people think that im a wierdo because im going out with 14year old girl?.
Im still going to ask her out but im just curious.

That's not really weird. My friend met her boyfriend when she was 14 and he was 17 and they've been going out for about eight months now.

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I'm really interested in mission trips, to other countries or states. Next year, im going to an indian reservation in South Dakota and to Africa with the Thrive Africa orginization. I wondered if anyone knew about good mission opertunities that i could participate in with an orginization. Thanks!

http://www.missionyear.org/

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ughhh! i am so angry! dont you just hate it when people you want to like you, don't. i use to be friends with this guy and now, im nothing to him.
how would you deal?

There's this silly little book called "He's Just Not That Into You." Buy it. Read it. Live it.

When you hear the title, it sounds condescending, but it's the most enlightening book you will ever read. In a nutshell, it basically tells you that if a guy doesn't like you the way you like him, he's really really stupid because you are GREAT, and you should move on to something better.

Every girl out there has something to offer, and he's really missing out. So go out there and find someone else. The best revenge on a guy is making him see you truly and completely happy with someone else.

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so i'm a tomboy. well this is the first year i'm going to go trick or treating with guys. i don't wanna wear something like slutty. but not totally modest either. like something in between. something that would make me look good. like my friends being a mouse, the others a flight attendant. i really have no clue what i'm going to be. i need ideas!!!

How about a referee? It's sporty and sexy. Here is an example:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Pleated-Penalizer-Referee-Adult-Costume/19907/ProductDetail.aspx

Yes, this one is a bit slutty, but it is possible for you to find a more modest version. This is a popular outfit, so you should be able to find it anywhere.

Cute witch:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Kandy-Korn-Witch-Adult/21761/ProductDetail.aspx

Football player:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Tackle-Me-Adult-Costume/32340/ProductDetail.aspx

Devil:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Devilicious-Adult-Costume/34298/ProductDetail.aspx

Non-slutty School girl:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Etiquette-Schoolgirl-Sexy-Adult/31248/ProductDetail.aspx

Baseball Player (maybe find one with less cleavage..):

http://www.buycostumes.com/Fantasy-Player-Adult/20940/ProductDetail.aspx

Alice in Wonderland (I did this costume two years in a row hahaha...):

http://www.buycostumes.com/Alice-Wonder-Place-Dress-Adult-Costume/19906/ProductDetail.aspx

Golfer:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Flirty-Golfer-Girl-Adult-Costume/33958/ProductDetail.aspx

Boxer:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Boxer-Girl-Plus-Adult/19549/ProductDetail.aspx

Go-Go Girl:

http://www.buycostumes.com/Vintage-Paisley-Adult/31211/ProductDetail.aspx

You can find these costumes and plenty of others on this website. http://www.buycostumes.com

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How do you get a guy to ask you out?

You can't really make a guy ask you out. Your best bet is to be yourself, and if he doesn't like you for you, move on.

You could always ask him out, if you are comfortable with it. Many girls are not, however. Really, do what you feel is right. Somewhere along the line there will be a guy that asks you out, so no worries if one doesn't immediately.

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So i liked this guy since 7th grade and now im in 9th grade.
So today we had a football game and during half time he smiled and waved at me NOT his friends though.
but when the game was over all the guys were high-fiveing everyone and then when he got to me hes like no...

Like his friends and my friends are close but we act ( iguess) like we hate each other but at other times when were in a class together we smile at each other a lot and talk once and a while.

i remember in the 9th grade he found out that i liked him and freaked out.

like i never did anything to bother him but he really doesnt like to high five me or hug me or do anything that involds me.

i mean we're both blondes and tall but
does he or does he not like me?

I'm sorry, but from what you said, he doesn't seem to like you. If he did, he probably would treat you with more respect and would have asked you out by now. On the off chance he does like you, he's acting very immature by acting rude towards you. Move on to someone who is mature and likes you for the wonderful person you are.

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i learned in school that 47 major drugs come from te rainforest, and keeping it would be a good idea so that we can have more drug possibilities. This got me thinking: companies cut down tree's of the rainforest for timber, but is the rainforest more valuable as timber or as it is? whats your opinion? :)

It's more valuable as is, in my opinion. There are several reasons for this.

First off, we are a food web. Cut down trees, you cut down animals homes. Animals die. Insect populations overgrow. This is bad. Now those who live around the rain forest die from starvation or from diseases caused by the insects.

On this planet, we have an oxygen cycle. Humans breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Plants take in carbon dioxide and use it in photosynthesis. Oxygen is a by-product of photosynthesis which is released into the air. The cycle then repeats itself. Without trees, we'd have very little oxygen. Yes, there are other trees in the world, but what would happen once all the rain forest is cut down? What will we cut down next?

As you stated before, many drugs are created from trees in the rain forest. So let me ask, what is more important? A table made from exotic wood or a life saving drug? I think most people would agree the drug is. Therefore, we should save the rain forest for drugs.

I think we all remember Dr. Seuss. I don't know about you, but I notably remember The Lorax. In this short story, we were taught trees were valuable. This lesson still has not changed.

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after giving a blowjob do u have to swallow?
whats it taste like it sounds gross.

No, you do not have to swallow. Plenty of people spit. The taste differs from male to male. Some people claim what the guy eats beforehand will affect the taste.

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16/f
Okay, well the guy i like says that i am pretty and he wants to get to know me first before anything happens. We haven't really talked that much so i'm not sure, how he is. But anyways, at a party i went to friday night, he came up to me and talked to me some and then gave me two hugs and said that he would call me that night. Well, he never called me. He hasn't called me all day today either. Also, my friend (camille) called me and she dosen't get signal where she is at right now and said that my friend i was talking to friday after the game (sandra) said that i told her that he was going to ask me out monday at school. I never told her that, i told her that i liked him and I HOPE HE ASKES ME OUT. I think she mis understood me because it was loud at the party and when i was leaving she called me on the phone and i told her. She is his friend to and she rides his bus and i hope she dosen't say "Brandon! Lindsey (me) told me that you were going to ask her out today." I don't want her to say that because i don't want to have him think that i think that. I can't call her and tell her because she is out of town. What do i do?

Stop worrying about your friend. If he wants to ask you out, he will regardless of whatever your friend tells him. Besides, if she was a good friend, she probably wouldn't bring it up.

As for him not calling you, he might just not be that into you. If a guy likes you, he'll call you when he says he will. If he doesn't call you anytime soon, don't call him. Move onto someone who will keep their word.

(Read the book He's Just Not That into You. It's where I obtained the useful knowledge in the paragraph above.)

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Random question, I know, I know :)

I was wondering, would it be really strange/weird if I went to a drugstore just to buy tampons?
I'm not sure...I was just wondering...
Or should I buy some shampoo or something aswell?

Of course, it isn't weird. Every girl needs to buy a tampon or pad sometime. I work at a drugstore and plenty of people do this. Completely normal.

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I'm 17 years old and was adopted a little over 10 years ago by people I love very much. I can't help but wonder, though, about my real family. I have so many questions I want to ask them and I just want to know who they are. I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship - I don't think I could ever even consider calling them mom or dad, but I just have so many thoughts going on.
I'm afraid of hurting my parents - my adopted parents, that is. I don't want to tell them that I want to search for my birth parents because I don't want to upset them. I'm happy that they adopted me and even though we don't always get along, I know I have a better life here than I would have.
Would I be hurting my parents too much if I tell them I want to search for my birth parents? Should I just give up and try to forget about it?
I don't know what I'd say if I found my biological parents, I just feel like it's something I need to do, but I don't want to hurt my mom or dad.
HELP?!

You have every right to find your birth parents.

When adopting you, your parents probably knew you one day might like to find out who your biological parents are. It's something many children who are adopted would like to do. A friend of mine has an open adoption, but she still feels she would like to get to know her birth parents better. It is quite natural.

You are going to have to tell your parents you desire to research your biological parents. Explain that you have questions you would like to have answered, and it will in no way make you love them less. They most likely will understand. In some adoption agreements, however, the child cannot search for their parents until they are 18. Ask your parents how to go about finding them.

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so i like this guy and i want to ask him out! im 16 and we go to the same school but i have no clue what to say!!

any ideas?

were should we go?
movies?
just hang out?

thanks

Casually ask him if he'd like to "hang out." That takes a lot of pressure off the both of you. If you too don't know each other very well, movies may not be the best idea. It doesn't give you much of a chance to talk. You can go ice skating, go bowling, or do something like that. Sounds corny, but how will you ever get to know each other if you're just sitting in a dark movie theater where talking is looked down upon, how will you learn anything about him? And making out does not consist of learning about him :P. Anyway, good luck with the guy

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i started dating this guy on memorial day we broke up for about 2 weeks now we are gettin back together does that mean we start back at day 1 today or continue sayin we have been dating for 6 months

Continue saying you've been dating for 6 months.

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