about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

My question is is it safe to have anal sex with someone who is clean in all senses without a condom?

Hey-
Well.. I wouldn't advise this.. you should probably use a condom if this isn't who you plan to be with the rest of your life.. they might have an STD (sexually transmitted disease) that could affect your life forever.. like HIV and AIDS..
But if this is what you really want.. just make sure that the male (not sure if you are the male or if your partner is- you didn't say) cleans himself so that the other won't get some sort of infection..
But I still highly suggest you use a condom..

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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does anyone know where I can get some aim profiles other then buddy4u ?

Hey
A really great site is

www.buddyprofile.com

and you can get a quiz in it- countdowns- and tons of pages!

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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14/m
There's a girl in 2 of my classes that looks at me and stares at me a lot. It doesn't bother me, it's not like she just stares at me constantly. Girls do this a lot, and girls tell me that I'm cute. This one girl that I notice, who I think is attractive, looks at me during class. I will be looking around during class and I will see her looking at me and then look away. We've talked before, but we're not friends. I have known her since 6th grade (11 or 12). People don't think I'm weird or anything, so they're not looking at me beacuse of that. Sorry if I worded it wrong, but it was hard to explain it, and sorry that it's long. But, do you think that she likes me?

Hey!
I'm pretty sure that this girl likes you.. I mean.. I know that before I realized I liked my girlfriend- (like before we started going out) I would always stare at her.. and wonder why I was.. and I knew that I liked her.. so that girl must like you..
But- there's still a chance she doesn't.. so to make sure of it.. you should talk to her in person .. and ask her if she likes you.. if she says yes.. then, if you like her back, then make a move and ask her out.. if she doesn't like you.. then just say "ook" and be done with it..

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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19/male
I just had sex with my boyfriend of 5 years and we both loved it.. the thing is.. I don't know if he has HIV or not.. because I asked him.. and he just said, "It doesn't matter honey, let's just do it.." and he kissed me so passionately that i couldn't refuse sex with him.. and he said it kinda in a way that sounded like he did.. but I'm not sure if he has HIV..
should I be worried- because I love him so much!!
Thanks a lot!
♥Jake

Hey!

I don't understand how people think from this that he loves you. If the guy "loves" you, he wouldnt expose you to HIV... he wouldnt let you jeopardise your entire future for one night of pleasure. That to me sounds more like he needs to get off, thats all.

You are toying with your life here. Of course you could refuse sex, no matter how passionately he kissed you. Dont be ridiculous and put things in perspective. The guy avoided your question... actually worse he told you it didnt matter. Think about it, it doesnt matter that he could be carrying a deadly contagious disease? How could you buy that garbage?

Whether he has it or not isnt even the issue. You asked him a legitimate question and he gave you a bogus answer so he could sleep with you. Note that next time you consider how much he "loves" you.

Of course you should get tested, and of course you should be worried. Its not certain he has it, but its pretty certain that AT BEST, he doesnt know. So get a straight answer out of your boyfriend before you have anything more to do with him. Heck, all things considered, I would recommend seeing it in writing rather than taking his word for it.

I dont presume to know the first thing specifically about gay relationships, but I do know that any sort of intimate relationship is based on trust. He broke your trust, remember that.

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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Does anyone know a site of the US map that shows the capitals,states and where they are located?

Please i need to know by tonight if possible!


Thanks

Hey!
This is a good question.. because I had the same problem!
a really good site I found was:

http://www.infoplease.com/states.html

you can click on the state you want.. then it gives you a really interesting profile on it..
it works really great!

Hope I helped!
Good luck in History!

--Jack

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16/m
Hi- I had sex with my boyfriend about 3 months ago without realizing he had HIV.. I asked him..and he lied and told me he didn't have it..
So- When I went for my yearly doctor check-up(last week).. my doctor wanted to give me an HIV test because I'm homosexual..
and it came out positive.. and I know its from my boyfriend because he's the only one i've had sex with.. ever..
So should I be mad at my boyfriend? or should I be mad at myself because I didn't know he had HIV...

Also- my doctor told me that my HIV is going to result in AIDS in about 5 years..

Please help!
-Jason

Hey dude-
Assuming that your boyfriend did know that he had HIV- he lied to you and showed that he didn't really love you as much as you thought.. so you have every right in this world of ours to be mad at him- because any guy that lies to his boyfriend about not having HIV is a guy that doesn't care about his boyfriend's future

As for dealing with HIV- just live everyday to the fullest and live without regrets..

Regularly get check-ups from your doctor, because that is majorly important..

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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I have three spots on my face that have huge pimples, but they're scabs. Like scabby zits. It's impossible to cover them up, otherwise..I wouldn't even be asking this question. Does anyone know any ways to get the scabs down/in better condition, at least so I can cover them a little bit?

Hey!
I know this might sound wierd.. but Lemon Juice really works in reducing pimple and acne size.. All you have to do is get a cotton ball or swab.. and put some lemon juice on it- and dab it lightly [and in a circular motion] on the areas where it is needed
Leave the juice on- don't touch it.. because it might stop working in reducing your acne...
This will take less time then most ance remedies..
Another [but slower] option is to get exfoliating pads that you can purchase at most stores.. (mainly pharmacies).. and there will be directions on the box..

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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at school everyone call me egghead because of my head shape but i dont like it i have told the them to stop but they dont listen

from egghead

Hey-
I have a problem similar to this.. everyone at school calls me a name (well its not a name.. they just think that i'm something I'm not)
What you need to do is just act like it doesn't affect you .. now i know that doesn't sound like it will help.. but if they see that you aren't being hurt by them.. they'll get bored and realize that it's pointless to make fun of you..
If someone calls you egghead while you're around (which I assume is how you know you are being called that) just go up to them and laugh and say "wow.. that is really funny!" but not sarcastically.. say it with a big smile on and a chuckle..
They'll be confused and will eventually stop making fun of you..

As for the losers that make fun of you.. they are just immature and you shouldn't care what they say about you, because I'm sure you are a great person and they just don't realize that.. that's somehting that I wish I had known before..

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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ok so i turned 16 in august and my boyfriend is about to turn 18 in december...so will that make us...like illegal?

Hey
If you live in the US.. it isn't illegal for 18 year olds to date 16 year olds.. unless you're having sex together.. because that would be considered Stagetory Rape.. and both of you could go to jail for that..
I suggest that if you want to have sex with him- then you should wait until you are at least 18.. because I'm not sure what the age is in each state when you are legally allowed to have sex..

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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so, i have this geometry homework thingy... and you have to write what property you use for each step... the question is 5(x - 1) = 4x + 13.... and so the properties i used are distrobution, subtraction and addition.. but i don't know if it's right or not... i got the answer 18... so if any one could i help i would really appriciate it... thanx

Hey-
I know you have had this answered- and you asked it yesterday.. but I really want to help you!
I was in Geometry last year and I remember doing these problems...
5(x - 1) = 4x + 13
then distribute...(distributive property)
5x - 5 = 4x + 13
then add 5 from both sides (addition prop. of equality)
5x = 4x + 18
then subtract 4x from each side (subtraction prop. of equality)
1x = 18
so then..
x = 18

I hope I helped!
And if you ever need geometry homework help- feel free to post questions in my inbox!
--Jack

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okay well my mum has all these expextations of me, she wants me to be a genius shes sent me to this top tutour and she thinks being smart is the one and only thing that matters in life now im reasonably smart but not a genius, recently ive had there exams and i got my results im quite above average in all my subjecs but my mon doesnt care she wanted me to do better shees always canstantly comparing me with family and friends childrn, she always calles me stupid, silly dumb and quite often puts me down, im only 14 and she just put all this pressure on me to be smart, ive tried talking to her about it several times but it doent make a difference i know it shouldnt but it makes me feel really crappy and low what should i do?

Hey!
First off- I know for a fact that your mom is proud of you.. the only moms that don't feel proud of their children are the ones that say "I hate you and I want to kill you.. I am definitely not proud of you," and I'm pretty sure your mom doesn't think or say that..
Your mom just feels that you should be better and she wants you to be better so that you can get into college and get a good job..
(not saying that you can't get into college now.. its just that there are a lot of people applying to colleges so there is a lot of competition)

I understand and I would hope your mom understands that it is fairly impossible to be a genius.. so that's just a REALLY high standard..

What you need to do (although you've already tried)...is sit down with your mom and tell her that you need to have a serious talk with her (ensure her that you aren't pregnant or anything like that)

Tell her that you feel that she doesn't appreciate how hard you work in school... and that it is hard for you to always succeed with flying colors.. Ask her if she could stop with her comparison of you and family and her belittling of your grades...
Tell her that what she is saying makes you feel REALLY crappy and that you just don't understand why she does this to you...


I really hope I helped
Please let me know how it goes
--Jack

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Hiya,
I have a big acne problem!. It started when i was 13 and i am 15 now and it hasnt cleared up and i havent noticed any changes. The acne is on my back and chest :- on my back it is mainly just spots and some blackheads but on my back its all blackheads and lots of them. I wash twice a day with exfoliating scrubs and cleansers and i even had tablets when i was 14. I was on them for 3 months but they were not working. My problem really effects me and makes me feel more insecure than i already am with my body. I really need someones help and advice, it would be much appreciated.
Thanks alot.
Chloe xx

Hey!
I know this sounds wierd.. but Lemon Juice works really great..
All you have to do is dab some of it on a cotton swab and rub it on your acne.. if you do this for about a week (once a day).. the acne should either completely disappear or have just a couple pimples left..
Don't wash it off, just leave it on.. and don't touch it while you have it on.. or else it will stop working ...

As for the exfoliating scrubs.. you shouldn't have been using them twice a day.. twice a week would've been better

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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I want to know how to ask a boy out he like me but he is shy.and i would like to know how to get the boy to like me.please help me i really need advice i do.

Hey-
Well first.. there isn't a way to get a guy to like you just because.. the only way a person will truthfully be attracted to you is if you be yourself...

Now- how to ask someone out..
You have to find confidence within yourself (even tho you're shy).. and tell him that you like him and you wanted to know if he would go out with you..

I really hope I helped!
--Jack

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In high school, do most people carry around their bookbag? Or locker when they need to? I'm just scared that my class will be like across the school when I need to locker.

Hey-
Yes in high school most people carry their backpack.. it just becomes easier than visiting your locker after each class to get books
If you want to visit your locker- do it when you are near (like if your next class is near it)
Don't be scared of anything in High School.. nothing is really that bad.. but if you feel ncomfortable.. tell a teacher you trust or your counselor...

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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Is it normal as you get older for the feeling of being uh..horny to increase?
and what can be done to stop the feeling.

Hey-
Yes. unfortunately.. this is true and there isn't much you can do to stop your hormones..
But you can do things to get your mind off of the feelings..

watch TV
Play a video game
Talk to a friend on the phone
Go online (advicenators- lol)
Run around your yard aimlessly
or just play with a pet!

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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So theres this girl in my grade, and i am trying to figure out whether she likes me or not. here are some reasons why i think she does

~She always waves to me
~She told me to call her once when i got back from vacation to ask how it was
~ when i called her she said a greeting so quickly its as if she planned it.
~she asked me if she saw her wave and from the bus.


well> do you think she likes me?

Hey!
Sounds to me like she has a thing for you.. but you an only be sure of that if you ask her yourself.. If she ends up liking you.. and you like her back.. then ask her out...
You might find yourself unwilling to take this risk.. but I really believe you should.. because without any risks.. where would we be? We'd all be in our homes, watching Spongebob reruns- eating a bucket of ice cream..
You should take the chance to ask her if she likes you.. because it could end up great!

Hope I helped!
--Jack

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whatever i do i also seem to be following my friends. even if i don't want to do it i follow them anyway. say its a movie i don't want to see i go see that one anyway. i never stand up for myself. but i love my friends. but how can i do things that i want to do?? i tried one time to suggest something else and they just like stared at me. helpp mee

Hey!
Well if you've tried suggesting an activity to do... try just one more time.. If they just stare at you or say "um.. no".. then this probably isn't the group of friends for you..
If you don't want to take that drastic of a measure.. then instead of following your friends around.. make the plans for a activity.. like maybe throw a party and invite them all..
or you chose what movie you guys all see...
You have to stand up for yourself or you won't get a say in what happens...

Say that you're with your friends and they are seeing what movie to go see.. suggest something you want to see... say you heard it was really good.. and you think you should all see it




I really hope I helped!
--Jack

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me and one of my guy friends have been friends for like, 4 years and everyone always says we should go out. we always laugh it off and say that we never would because were just friends but the more i think about it the more i kind of get what everyone is saying. we get along really well and our personalities to match up pretty good but i have that lame fear that if we go out that we wont be friends if it doesnt work. i dont have a thing for him, or much of one anyways but i could see myself with him. i want to try it out and date him but i dont know if hes thinking what i am and i dont know how to tell. were like best friends and everyone thinks we like each other or that were flirting or that were already going out. thanks soooo much

Hey!
I'm gunna attempt to give a more involved answer than the columnist below me.. (sorry if you're that columnist!)

When it comes to trying out relationships with friends- the only sure-fire way to know if it would work is to try it out! Love and life take risk- and this would be one of the many you should be willing to take..

I mean.. I know how you feel with when the relationship ends.. see the reason being that I am going out with a girl that was one of my best girl friends before I asked her out.. (Its completely normal to wonder what it would be like with your best friend).. but it was something more with Lauren (my girlfriend)... I found that the more we hung out.. the more I liked her.. and now- the BEST possibel thing happened.. WE'RE GOING OUT!!! I mean.. I've thought about what it would be like after our relationship ends (which won't be soon).. but then I realized.. You have to live for the moment.. and take in what you've been given today.. and worry about tomorrow- tomorrow...
Ever since I realized that life is better this way.. I grew out of worry and despair for things that are happening in the future... so in other words.. if you decide to go out with your friend.. which I suggest you at least try.. then don't worry about the end of the relationship and restoring your friendship until it happens!

I really hope I helped!
Sorry about giving a rather long response..
--Jack

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just wanted to say that i luv your advice =D my column name thing is ductape_n_roses =] hit me up some time

Hey!
Thanks a lot!
It makes me feel good when I hear that I give good advice.. I guess I've just been through a lot...
I'll make sure to look at your column! I'm sure you give good advice too!

Thanks again!
--Jack

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Hi! i've read some of your other answers and you seem to give really good advice. I just needed a guys point of view on this.

To guys, does it matter if a girl has braces? Is that a turnoff? do they factor that in to asking her out? so really what i'm saying is do guys really notice when girls have braces, and does it matter to them?

thanks so much!

Hey!
First off- Thanks for posting in my inbox.. I appreciate it!

I'm glad you asked this question
In my opinion- braces don't matter.. whether they have them or not...
I judge a girl on her inner beauty.. like her personality..
I mean.. looks are still semi-important.. but if a girl doesn't have that great of looks.. I don't mind.. I look past it and see her personality...
Now I'm not sure if this is how most guys judge girls.. but probably about half feel the same as me..

As for kissing.. I'm not sure if a girl having braces makes it awkward.. but I'm sure it doesn't...

I hope I helped!
--Jack

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