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"just friends?"
me and one of my guy friends have been friends for like, 4 years and everyone always says we should go out. we always laugh it off and say that we never would because were just friends but the more i think about it the more i kind of get what everyone is saying. we get along really well and our personalities to match up pretty good but i have that lame fear that if we go out that we wont be friends if it doesnt work. i dont have a thing for him, or much of one anyways but i could see myself with him. i want to try it out and date him but i dont know if hes thinking what i am and i dont know how to tell. were like best friends and everyone thinks we like each other or that were flirting or that were already going out. thanks soooo much
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hey. Well you say you and him get along really well right. Then I think it would probably work out great. I bet inside he really likes you too but you're both afraid to ask eachother (or at least he may be) for fear of rejection. I would deffinitely give it a try and if he says no that's okay don't let it ruin your friendship, he may still be embarressed or in shock :). If he says yes then that's great and if you fight it's okay you will get over it just like when you're friends. If he breaks up with you don't feel bad you can still be friends and if you feel you're going to break up with him just tell him you really want to be friends still but you don't want you going out to ruin your relationship. Who knows, maybe you'll get married? I hope this helped a little and please give me feedback on if this helped my friend :-).
Chrissie
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Ok, that makes since, i just got out of a relationship (yea he dumped me) but anyway, we are still friends, we have 2 classes together, our lockers are right by eachother, and we are on the same soccer team. It is just like it was before we started going out. we get along just fine. Just strait up talk to him about it. Tell him hey, i want to go out with you, but if/when we break up i don't want things to be awqward (sp?) between us. He will prolly understand. That is how my last relationship went, and i think that thought crosses every body's mind when they start a relationship, will we still be able to be friends if we break up. I hope that i helped
~Ash
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first of al make sure your not just being brain washed by what everyone says and actually like the guy. then talk to him about it to see if he feels the same way. its not unusual to have a really close guyfriend and it doesnt mean you have to date him
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Even though everyone says you guys would go good together and you could see yourself with him, don't ask him out unless you really actually have feelings for the guy. Because what if he DOES have feelings for you? It won't be fair for him to sit there liking you, and you not returning the same feelings. I would just continue being friends. Because like you said, if you two were to break up, it could get complicated and there's not always the chance that he'd want to remain friends, so I wouldn't risk the chance of losing him.
People always tend to think best friends are either dating or flirting or something. I don't know why. Personally, I hate that cause it's annoying whenever everyone always asks you if you two are going out and you have to answer no a thousand times. Haha, can't a guy and a girl just be best friends? It's silly.
Haha, anyways, I hope I helped.
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I hope you know that confessing your true feelings to a FRIEND can only bring two things: It's either you gain a boyfriend, or you lose a friend.(this is what I keep on telling people in the same boat as you....)
That's the truth.
What hurts even more is the 'fact' that things won't really go back to the way they used to be.
That's just the way it is.
If you want to take the risk, go on. But it's like gambling...you're uncertain of what the result will be...
So you better be wise in your decision....
Hope I helped you a lil' bit.
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never go out with someone just because you make good friends unless you really really have feelings for him. i have a friend like that and i thought just like you are about dating him, but i decided, why ruin a good thing now? keep your friendship strong and, who knows? maybe you'll end up together when you're older!
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I've been in this situation a few times, and unfortunately damaged a coupkle of godo friendships. I agree with the person below me, that its worth the risk and you sometimes do just have to live for today. But, here's the thing. I'd say only risk it if you're both sure about it. Don't go in to a relationship that could ruin 4 years of great friendship, and a future with your best friend, unless you both know its the best thing to do. If you're not sure, and it souds like you're not: "i dont have a thing for him, or much of one anyways but i could see myself with him." then don't push it. I could see myself with a lot of my guy mates but I don't want it to happen because I know, if I'm being honest, I'll end up ruining our friendship. If you don't know if he wants a relationship like that, then theres no reason to try and make it happen now. The great thing about friends is you know they're not going anywhere... so just give it time, and only get into a relationship if you both really want it, not just because other people think it would work. It's you and him that's in this relationship, not anyone else. You've got a good thing going on, really good guy mates are hard to come across, hold on to him!
Hope it all works out, God bless
Claire
xxx
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Hey!
I'm gunna attempt to give a more involved answer than the columnist below me.. (sorry if you're that columnist!)
When it comes to trying out relationships with friends- the only sure-fire way to know if it would work is to try it out! Love and life take risk- and this would be one of the many you should be willing to take..
I mean.. I know how you feel with when the relationship ends.. see the reason being that I am going out with a girl that was one of my best girl friends before I asked her out.. (Its completely normal to wonder what it would be like with your best friend).. but it was something more with Lauren (my girlfriend)... I found that the more we hung out.. the more I liked her.. and now- the BEST possibel thing happened.. WE'RE GOING OUT!!! I mean.. I've thought about what it would be like after our relationship ends (which won't be soon).. but then I realized.. You have to live for the moment.. and take in what you've been given today.. and worry about tomorrow- tomorrow...
Ever since I realized that life is better this way.. I grew out of worry and despair for things that are happening in the future... so in other words.. if you decide to go out with your friend.. which I suggest you at least try.. then don't worry about the end of the relationship and restoring your friendship until it happens!
I really hope I helped!
Sorry about giving a rather long response..
--Jack
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just ask him if he likes you and if yes tell him you liuke him to if no dont say anything
if yes ask him out
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