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my mum isnt proud of me
okay well my mum has all these expextations of me, she wants me to be a genius shes sent me to this top tutour and she thinks being smart is the one and only thing that matters in life now im reasonably smart but not a genius, recently ive had there exams and i got my results im quite above average in all my subjecs but my mon doesnt care she wanted me to do better shees always canstantly comparing me with family and friends childrn, she always calles me stupid, silly dumb and quite often puts me down, im only 14 and she just put all this pressure on me to be smart, ive tried talking to her about it several times but it doent make a difference i know it shouldnt but it makes me feel really crappy and low what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Is there a counselor at your school that you can arrange for you and your mum to have a meeting with? This way, there will be someone else there to tell your mum that name calling and putting all this stress on you is counter-proudictive.
Good luck!!
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and exactly how do you measure true intelligence? any ways yeah it should make you feel crappy your mom shouldnt be calling you names tell her that the name calling really hurts you if that doesnt phase her then theres a problem with her. dont let anyone decide who you are not even your mom. you are who you are not who she or anyone else says you are. if she keeps putting pressure on you just brush it off and do what you can shell get the point eventually. just dont let it bring you down or tear you up.
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When you say you've tried talking to her about it... maybe you should try using a different aproach... if you go up to her all calm... parents usually don't thinks it as bad as it really is. but if you go to her all emotional about it she would probably understand a little better(and i'm not saying fake it... but if you feel like crying...then go ahead and cry... parents may not like the crying thing... but if that's how you feel... then that's how you feel)... and you said sumthin bout it making u feel realy crappy and low... and it should make you feel that way... i would feel that way... most people would feel that way... but over all i think she just wants you to have a great future... i do think she really cares... maybe 2 much... but at least she does
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Hey!
First off- I know for a fact that your mom is proud of you.. the only moms that don't feel proud of their children are the ones that say "I hate you and I want to kill you.. I am definitely not proud of you," and I'm pretty sure your mom doesn't think or say that..
Your mom just feels that you should be better and she wants you to be better so that you can get into college and get a good job..
(not saying that you can't get into college now.. its just that there are a lot of people applying to colleges so there is a lot of competition)
I understand and I would hope your mom understands that it is fairly impossible to be a genius.. so that's just a REALLY high standard..
What you need to do (although you've already tried)...is sit down with your mom and tell her that you need to have a <b>serious</b> talk with her (ensure her that you aren't pregnant or anything like that)
Tell her that you <i>feel</i> that she doesn't appreciate how hard you work in school... and that it is hard for you to always succeed with flying colors.. Ask her if she could stop with her comparison of you and family and her belittling of your grades...
Tell her that what she is saying makes you feel REALLY crappy and that you just don't understand why she does this to you...
I really hope I helped
Please let me know how it goes
--Jack
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