Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Hi I work at a car repair shop. Sometimes customers refuse to get work done on their car even if it is a severe safety hazard. I like to type on the invoice that the customer has been made aware of such and such and declined repairs and that the company is not responsible for anything that happens to the vehicle in result of what was found wrong with it once it leaves the shop. I tried finding legal pages online to see how to exactly word it but I was getting annoyed trying to search the web. Could anyone help me with how to word this and what wording to use (correct and legal) that shows my company is not liable for anything that happens once that car leaves my shop. Thanks (link)
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ok i know two mechanics who own their own shops, and one doesnt use the method your talking about and the other does a sheet you sign BEFORE the repairs are made AFTER the diagnostic has been done so that when they sign it, their already agreeing that youve made them aware of any hazardous issues their vehicle may have and as such they have signed for their vehicle and as such are not responsible for undone repairs. thats pretty much what you would say. it doesnt need to be complicated since (im assuming) your a relatively small shop?
you buy the double sheet paper so that they have a copy and so do you so that they can make no arguments later in court against you because "its right there in black and white"
Im also assuming you do full diagnostics on all cars that come in first?? so once youve told them what one of yours guys has caught and they dont want to have it repaired for one reason of another, you tell them and have them sign for the diagnostic so that theres proof that you made them aware you cant get in trouble for that. Ive never heard of that happening or anyone actually winning in court but it IS a valid concern so i can understand why you would ask here.
if you want to hit up my inbox i would be more then happy to take a photo of a repair recipt for my own car if i can find one so that you can read what it says ; )
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Hi, Im over 18 I don't want to say how old but ill say I'm over 18 not by much though. But anyways. I saw a couple pictures of girls that were under 18 like between 13-17 that were sexy pictures like of their butts in really short shorts or bikinis or underwear or like highschool cheerleaders up skirt pictures and I kind of grew a liking to looking at them. I'm just wondering before I get myself in trouble..if I were to save any of these pictures to my phone or computer, could I get in trouble? Girls under 18 but none of the pictures are naked or showing any private parts. underwear and bra are the least clothing no nudes. Could I get in trouble if caught with these? (link)
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Ill have to agree with the other poster here, that although it may not be illegal, it would most likely (in the eyes of others) LOOK illegal or questionable.
There ARE porn sites that cater to their customer fantasy's where you could most likely get something like that, but i wouldnt save any of that to your computer or phone ever.
I also want to encourage you to find another way to get your kicks because this can sometimes be a sort of a "gate way" thing and before you know it you may find yourself doing things to get more pictures where you shouldnt (and i think we all know where im going with this) so i go in to that here.
Also girls who are legal and your OWN age or higher can be just as sexy if not sexier than an underage girl so theres really no reason to seek out photos of minors when you could be a beautiful full figured, fully matured female like a girlfriend thats down with your kinkiness and is ok with it. ; )
You could find a girl that likes to have fun and be naughty as well and be just fine too.
good luck and i hope you find a healthier way
= )
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i'm 13 and my step-brother's 15 (Jay). so we've lived together for 2 years but we've known each other for 3 and half years. so at first, he hated me and my mom because his dad replaced his mom. he didn't hate me as much tho. he never used to really talk to me but now we're like really brother and sister. he always insults me by saying i stink and that im fat. sometimes he always sings a song, always a different one. for example, i wore something different compared to what i always wear. so then he said i look like a really bad looking cowgirl (something like that) and then th next minute he started singing "she looked so fine, i just had to speak". he does this all the time. when we came on holiday, he started paying way more attention to me than he did before. like sometimes when i daydream, i always open my eyes very wide, and when someone looks at me while im doing that, my eyes start to burn/get watery. and when i looked into his eyes, he was staring at me. when i went int the pool (only bikini) the next days he kept tickling me. but only my stomach. so my mom and stepdad had an event that me and Jay went to. after few hours we went back to hotel cuz it got too boring. when we got there,(we had 2 rooms-1for me and mom,other for shush(stepdad) and jay). so since me and jay went back to hotel alone, he came into my room. we kinda always fight but for fun, so we did that and he basically threw me in the bed and just sat there on my back (nothing happened) and then next day, when me and mom where in room, he came in cuz he was too bored.then he went under the blanket where me and mom where sleeping on and at one point he was biting my arm through the blanket and hen he next minute he was holding my arm (mom didn't see) and when i kinda moved my hand, he took his hand away and it felt like he was rejecting me if you know what i mean. and when we were going for dinner i was trying on dresses to know which to wear. so i put this one on, and it was a bit stretched out. so i said i look fat in it but he said i don't look fat in it. so now im just really confused. we used to fight like that all the time and he always seemed to get me on the bed and then he would kinda sleep/stand on me and give me this look that he's about to kiss me but then he doesn't. he used to always look at girls but now he only looks at me. i don't know if he loves me. but i love him. (link)
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Ok, your both still young and new to roles relationships and maybe even how family dynamics work when it comes to step brother/step sister relations.
Your parents got married and that makes "jay" legally a step sibling, not a potential suitor.
If your still feeling this way when you are adults and have experienced other relationships then OKAY but until such time this is inappropriate. Even after your old enough to really be able to be together is thats what you both wanted (just so you know) it will probably still be looked down upon. i just have to put that out there, i believe in educating people and having all the facts so that you can make an informed choice.
I DO understand though that this can be a bit of a grey area and confusing for growing teens who are expected to just consider each other siblings because your parents got married.
Its not uncommon for non-siblings to develop feelings for each other but based on age, and your experience with having had other relations, what your feeling might simply be lust or confusion because your of the opposite gender do you see what im saying??
good luck. and try not to encourage him by doing anything where he can continue to see you in such a light.
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I'm a 21-year-old female. I recently noticed that I might have a thing for older guys; late 20s to even late 40s. Sometimes I find myself lusting after them and I feel like it might be totally wrong but still so right. I don't have any "daddy issues" either and I'm definitely not after any guy's money, so my question is: is it weird that as a particularly young college student, I'm attracted to older guys? I've never been in a relationship before so I'm not sure if it's totally normal or I might be confused.... (link)
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Theres nothing wrong with this in the least. My hubby and i are 7 years apart, he is older then me and this works for us because ive always been way more mature for my age and tho he may have been 21 and i 14 when we got together, we were at the same place in life for this to work. Still both living at home with our parents, but he with a car, a job, and socially inexperienced in alot of ways that i was not. I lead the way socially and changed him by building his confidence into the man he is now. he was shy, sweet, smart, funny, and devilishly handsome all rolled into one. Thats what i was looking for and after having had lots of guys friends (and still do) and seeing they way they were (and still are even tho their my age) their STILL perverts and dont have their lives together, where as my husband already knew he wanted a family, a good wife, and at the end of the day someone that could make him smile and laugh. thats it.
Age is just a number, its really more about where you are in life, like what phase your and that other person is in. Usually younger guys are still in the "i just wanna have fun, have sex, and play video games or do sports" of some kind phase. Older men have already by there, done that, and are realizing they need to work, have a place and or a car, if they want to attract quality women. even if they are younger somewhat.
Man of quality usually want that "ok lets get serious here" lady. They are feeling the clock ticking too just like women do, only it can be later on in life then us. At least thats how i see it.
good luck
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I don't understand if he really loves me or not...we have been in this relationship for 4years..he refused me 3times...4th time he came begging in front me himself...our families know about us...but all is alright except his alcohol consumption n accidents...n he is not settled yet...he just keeps changing jobs n still now not established well...they don't even have their own house...live in rented houses but they expend money like water on their tour car n vagabond lifestyle....i talked to him for several times about our future life n career...as his mom kept telling me to change her son's lifestyle n consuming alcohol habits...but she herself gives him liberty to do all these...n at the end of the day she put all the blames upon me...as if I make her son bound to get hurt n influence him to do these...i talked to him over this...he promises me that he'll get sober but he makes alibi to get drunk...n now a days like his mom he also accuses me for no reason n gets drunk...n if he finds no way to blame me his aligations shift towards his mom...his mom insulted me over n over n last time she crossed all limits n involved my parents too..i couldn't control my anger n literally fought with her...n now she is like insisting her son to get married to another girl...like typical Indian arranged marriage..n she might have chosen a girl for him too..but all I want is to help my bf..he is badly influenced by his mentally sick mom..n he is going in wrong directions..he can't be happy without me though he is angry n mad at me now n wont admit it...n me also can't live without him...i want him happy n stay healthy....what should I do to help him? (link)
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Listen, none of this is your fault. You need to realize though that you cant help someone that doesnt want to be helped. It sounds like youve already done everything you can do and your only one person. Your not responsible for another grown adults actions no matter their who their mother is. He clearly has a drinking problem and his mother is encouraging and enabling it, and you have no power in this relationship because your not making any big changes to show that you do.
You leaving him might be whats best for him right now. Hear me out on this ok because i know that when your so in love with someone you might be scared to leave them but try telling him that you "cant live like this anymore" that you "love him but his drinking is really getting in the way of things" and that you "wish him luck in the future but that you just cant live with someone who drinks all the time and blames everyone else for their problems except for themselves" and "this isnt fair to you or him and you want him to get better, so for right now your going to go away for a while until he gets better"
now this will come as a shock to him, and yes he most likely WILL say that he will change and he might even cry, but with the hitory you told me he has it sounds like he feels wayyyy to comfortable with things and that your ideas, opinions and suggestions mean little to nothing in your relationship.
Go stay somewhere else with people you trust if you dont have family, and give him time to wake up. He may call you several times begging for you to come back but thats not real, its simply him just not wanting things to change when they HAVE TO at this point. Once he sees that your serious and your putting your foot down he will wake up. you can talk to him on the phone and tell him to get into treatment and get a stable job but do not go and see him. He NEEDS to long for your touch, miss you, and see that not everyone is like his mother and not everyone is going to put up with his BS.
The real world doesnt work like that and hes going to get nothing but a swift kick in the pants if he doesnt straighten up. Usually once people see that their life is slowly falling apart because they arent keeping up their end of the deal relationship wise, they will do SOMETHING to try to make it right. You CAN still have feelings for him and thats perfectly natural and those feelings arent going to fade over night. You can even still tell him you love him and that thats why your doing this.
its simple, just like a parent making a choice FOR their child, ask yourself "what is in the best interest of my boyfriend? this person that i love that cannot love himself enough to stop?
If you love him YOU will make the right choice for him and he will come out in the end thank you for it because YOU made that change he needed to wake up and this will have been a learning experience for you both. He'll learn that he cant treat you the way he does because you deserve better, and youll learn that life isnt rainbows and unicorns when it comes to love and that in life tough choices are going to be thrown at you (even when it comes to the person you love the most) and you have to do the right thing for that person even if its hurts you too.
If you hold out long enough (which he loves you like you love him wont be that long) he will get himself into treatment or rehab or AA, and find a stable job and that "your doing this because you love him and want a future with him" but that "he needs to meet you half way"
try this method, say these things, and see what he does, and if you need more help with it just inbox me im here to help. ; )
good luck
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Hello.. I have a problem bc i feel i dont fit anywhere.I want to be that popular kid who knows everybody hangs out all the time and who ppl love.. Sure i have my firends but sometimes i feel like i have none,most times when i need someone i have noone.I feel worthless.. Why am i doing this? What is my goal? Why am i living this life? (link)
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Ok speaking as someone who was viewed in juinor high and high school as "popular" its really not all its cracked up to be.
Really those people that follow around that popular guy do it because they themselves dont know who they are yet, arent secure with themselves and want someone who IS so badly that they are willing to blindly follow someone who comes off as such so that THEY can seem like their "with the guy that is" and this is perceived as "cool" see? its really a huge front, a mask, and a totally lie. the guys do it and so do the girls.
NOW, that we're past that, the best way to make friends with LOTS of people is to BE EXCEPTING and allow everyone including new people to come hang out with you in your group. Be the leader, say "its ok you can come sit with us!" during lunch or wait in line with you and your friends, and pretty soon your group will grow so big that it WILL get noticed and even the popular people will want to know why! ; )
if someone says they want to kick someone out of the group ask them why, hear them out, and say if you can give us all a good enough explanation then MAYBE youll do it. and then just say, "thats not a good enough reason your being petty and childish" and then never do it unless that person really HAS something unspeakable and then its up to you and your group to say good bye. Ignore that person at least for a while until things blow over and then if they come to you and ask to be let back in.
The other thing you need to remember is that those popular kids are still just as human as you are, they are people too so dont put them up on a pedistole and act like they are a god because they arent and if you talk to them or go up to them for something, you may just find out why they are so popular and it may not even be for the right reasons. They could be totally mean and a bully in which case they should be the opposite of popular and word will usually spread fast that they are mean and not even cool.
alot of the cool people who are "known" later way after that is the people who were very accepting of people, forgave them for things they may have messed up on and remained civil with them even after the mistake was said and done. Remember younger kids always wanna look, and act older, and sometimes they do it by trying to smoke or drink, but what they dont know is that they can also do it by acting MATURE, and like an adult in other ways!
try it and see how you do. stay calm, stay chill, and forgive people when they say something dumb, dont say anything just give a blank stare. you can never say the wrong thing if you dont say anything at all. ; )
hope that helps.
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For months, I saved up to give my bestfriend a nice birthday stroll... We went here and there and I made sure he had fun. But when I got back home, I logged on to fb, and saw he posted a bunch of things. There were things like "I love Jesus" and a post tagging his girlfriend saying "Hi Mahal (love) I love you." and other bunch of random stuff... I also spent a whole 20 hours out of my house looking for this gift he always wanted, and when I gave it to him, he was like, "Oh my god! thanks!" then nothing else... I feel guilty about feeling this but I feel so unappreciated... (link)
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Well maybe he needs to let it slowly soak in that you did such a great thing for him.
It doesnt sound like your feeling unappreciated, it sounds like you just didnt get the response you were looking for and thought it would be bigger then what it turned out to be. what you need to do is let some time pass, see how he acts, and if its over all nicer for some reason (because he realized that you were thoughtful and went through alot of trouble to do what you did for him)
if not, the next time you get in a fight, bring it up because your well within your rights to do so because you didnt say anything about it this whole time.
say "and by the way that thing i gave you for your b-day was really hard to come by and you have no idea the shit i had to go through to get that thing for you but your not very grateful are you???) and see what he says.
it may change his attitude a bit or he may adjust himself if you have more than one card to play about the way he acts. He'll then also know that your not just keeping track but that you WILL say something if your unhappy, and thats the best way to command respect and order within the relationship if the other isnt treating you good. ; )
good luck and make your feelings known but do it when its the right time, not just randomly.
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I am a 15 year old guy that wants to have sex with my 18 year old older friend that is also a guy. I know that he's straight and all but I want to do it just to do it and I know that sounds strange but I don't know what to do and I have to see him tomorrow morning but I don't know how to tell him considering how ugly I am. (link)
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First off, hes 18 your not, he could get in trouble for raping a minor so its not gonna happen, secondly if hes straight and your not, its DEFINITELY not going to happen. lol. and thirdly it doesnt matter how you look, if hes not gay and your under age then theres nothing you can do. All you'll be doing here is ruining what could be a good friendship because you cant control your sexual urges around people who you already know would probably not go along with it for several reasons.
If you cant control yourself i think you need to stay away from him period.
It would be regretful here if you tried to pull something on him, he did not like, and then you never got to see him again as a friend rather then just keeping it to yourself, and realizing he probably doesnt like you like that.
good luck
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23/F
Hello, I want to start by saying that I grew up in a house hold that everything got discussed and everything had a solution. Two parents that loved each other and did everything together. Even after 25+ years of marriage they would still grab the car and go places almost every Sunday. Unfortunately it all came to an end when she passed away recently.
But that's not why I'm here. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years with a guy I've known for over 8 years. Started dating after talking for a good 6-7 months. Everything was great. We could talk for hours, hangout all day, we both love to dance even though I'm more of a dancer than he is. I could literally see him everyday and at the end of the day when he went home I already missed him.
Lately, a couple things have been happening. From me finding out that he has hungout with other girls with telling me to constant arguments about petty things. I hate arguing I think its such waste of time and energy.
Hes always going out of state with his boys for the weekend but the moment I decide to go out with a girl friend or even my older sister its suddenly an issue. And I honestly stopped going out because I didn't want to make him upset. Up until recently. I started going out again and I'm not much of a drinker so I am always conscious of what I'm doing and who I'm around. I go, have a couple drinks, see people I haven't seen in a while and that's it I come home. I feel like he thinks I go out and dance on all these guys and get sloppy drunk and flirt. But I don't.
I started to notice little things that in the past wouldn't have annoyed me but now I do. He always needs someone asking if he needs help 50 times before he finally accepts. Or if he's upset at me I have to ask 3 days in a row before I get an answer. Or the way he ignores me when hes around his boys for hours. I think its safe to say my feelings aren't what they used to be.
Thing is mom has gotten sick and even though I want to call things off and venture out I feel like I cant because of that. I love his mom and I think me leaving him it would probably drive him insane. I feel like this is such a sick relationship and I want to get out but idk if I should stay for the time being. Please help
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I totally agree with dragonfly here, this is CLASSIC insecurity and it needs to stop. you need to make clear RIGHT OFF THE TOP that not HIM or anyone else will be telling you who you can and cannot have contact with, YOU and you alone will make that decision. He is totally allowed to let you know that someone has made him uncomfortable and you are hearing what he has to say about a SPECIFIC PERSON and that you will consider his opinion but that you make the final decision.
If this does not make him happy and he decides to "get back at you" by purposely going out and being seen with other women based on the assumption that thats what YOU do when you go out with your friends then that is ABSOLUTELY the breaking point. In no world is it ok for someone else to tell you who you can and cannot hang out with. they can tell you that they make them feel uncomfortable or that they are doing something that isnt appropriate but he is not a family member, and certainly NOT a husband. He never will be with that kind of attitude, and you need to make that clear.
If he makes a last ditch effort to try to take back what he has said, and say that he will change well then you can stick around a watch while he pretends because he WILL go back to being the same way.
Sweetie, the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship is over and your seeing each other for the flaws humans you really are and not some sort of a god, or diamond in the rough.
Its time to look at this realistically and ask yourself how long you can put up with this kinda shit.
you have a heart clearly and you deserve better.....so make it happen....
good luck
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Is treatment for acne really needed or will a home remedy work? (link)
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Ive seen my brother inlaw use the honey mix method and it worked GREAT on him.
Acne treatment from the dollar isnt always needed it just depends on the person.
you could look up the honey mix i know theres another ingredient thats supposed to go in but i forget what it is now.
in the mean time try not to pick or touch your face, picking will leave scars forever and touching will get any dirt you might have on your hands (even if youve just washed them) on to your face and make matters worse. depending on how oily your skin is you may want to cut back on washing your face too much. sometimes over washing can dry the skin and your body will then over produce MORE oil then you had before again making matters worse.
good luck
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I am a 26 year old female and I don't really where to start but here goes I was molested by my dad when I was 3 and when my mom found out supposedly she called the police and they seperated because of this even though I was so young when it happened I don't remember any of it but what I was told. Then my mom and dad finally divorced a year later when I was 4 and then my mom married my stepdad who is black and it caused a whole war between her and my dad's side of the family because they believe in interracial marriage and they said she lied on my dad so she be with my stepdad.my dad died when I was 12 so I can't even ask him his side of the story of what really happened so my life has been in turmoil ever since I was 3j not knowing who to believe. My life is a mess. I started living wild wjen ai was 16making sleeping around , going to wild parties, and smoking pot kust to put my mind at
ease.Then when I turned 23 I stared going to church
after 7I years of living another life. I found myself going back to wear I was before and now I feel like a complete failire like a mistake even though I talked to my pastor about my situation and he says to go easy on myself that I don't have to be perfect kust to try to put my past behind me but how do I do that when there is so much going on in my head? (link)
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Well first off think about your situation with your mom. True you father isnt here to tell you his side of things but what mother would willing make up some shit like that and tell their child they were molested?? even for the simple fact of remarrying, why would she do that? ask yourself is she seems like the dishonest type, and based on her history that you know of, or tract record if she has one of lying about things if in YOUR mind you could see her doing something like that.
Is she mentally ill or very damaged as a person to the point where she would lie to her own child for the sake of this?
Try to use logic and not let emotion rule you too much. People who are ruled by their emotion can be extremely unstable and even dangerous. Is she that way? or is she the grounded, honest, realistic type? once you have your answer on this try to remember that you ARE here on earth living on this big spinning ball of dirt along with the rest of us. Your life is yours and yours alone and it is what you make of it. If you want it to suck it will.
But you could try being more positive and maintaining the hope that you can still have a good live no matter where youve been because life isnt where youve been, its where your going.
Going to church is fine if thats what you feel you need in order to keep yourself going, i fully support that. Im not a religious person i AM a spiritual one and i do not believe that everyone needs church better themselves just better friends and a support system of people around them that want to see you get better and succeed.
You may not know this but all the little things in life really do count. IE, keeping a clean place taking regular walks to help you clear your head, listening to up beat music and doing things you enjoy that dont necessarily need another person to do them can really help you in the long term. things are things that can help you to be ok with being by yourself and accepting yourself as the flawed human that you are just like the rest of us.
If you really want things you get better you will find a way to make them happen, but you have to really want it with every fiber of your being and willing to change or adjust to whatever comes your way in order to reach that goal.
you have alot of reflecting and thinking and looking inward to do first though, so work on that stuff, stir clear of chaos, and try to stay calm in the face of anything negative that comes your way.
good luck ; )
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Im 18. I started dating this guy and there is definitely sexual attraction there. Completely sure of it. I want to have sex. Theres no love between us its just attraction. But I was raised to wait for sex until marriage. Im an ex preachers daughter. I have rebelled but the whole save sex for marriage thing had always stayed with me. I want to.have sex but im scared there will be regret and the hatred I will feel for being weak,but its like sex is all I think about. Help me please. (link)
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This is going to sound blunt but i think you should (just for right now) just buy yourself a sex toy, because with the strong feeling that you say you have that you will regret this if you do it now with this guy i dont think its a good idea to give it up just yet.
what you DO wanna do is tell him that you were taught to save sex for marriage and then just see what he says about it? itll be a kind of a test to see how he acts after that point and if hes willing to wait if he IS the right guy. he may decide he cant wait and move on and if that happens then youll know alot sooner that hes not the one for you.
he may even try to pull a proposal on you just to try to see if he can get sex from you sooner because your technically married. we dont know because we know really know him. you do though and you could better tell if hes just trying to pull a fast one on you or if he really cares for you.
i say tell him what you were taught on this, see what he says, and then watch how he acts after that point. that will test his resolveor he'll walk away and save you both the trouble of further emotional stress.
good luck
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I rarely have intercourse but I feel like every time I do the outside of my vagina tears. At first it's painful because it's like a little cut but then as it heals it gets itchy which I know is normal for healing. I have been using neosporin which helps it heal faster so the itching goes away faster. I guess I am looking for advice on how to avoid the tearing or how to better deal with it so it isn't so uncomfortable. (link)
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have your man take it slow and you can never use too much lube. lube is your friend just trust us on this! lol.
condoms arent the only thing you should be buying when your at the store. Lube is also important as well. ; )
youll be fine.
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My best friend has started dating a guy from my work who used to heavily pursue me. This went on for years, the guy bought me a necklace and everything. I feel very weird about her dating him now so is it just me or is that strange for her to do that? (link)
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agree with Dragonfly here but i also wanna add that he sounds like a horn dog and a lady chaser and once you didnt go for him and he saw your friend, he bit the bullet and went for her instead and it worked. thats all.
if they are together for the right reasons, it could work. If not, then dont feel weird or expect it to last long.
You dont have to feel weird about it unless she ends up marrying the guy or something like that. You didnt like him anyway so whats the problem?? you got him off your back now and hes with someone else, that person just happens to be a friend of yours thats all. *shrugs* theres not much you can do there but just try to be happy for your friend and see how things play out.
dont try to influence anything between them because later down the road one of them might try to blame you and it could effect your friendship with your friend in a bad way. (((unless she comes to you for advice))) say nothing and just let the chips fall where they will and time will tell what happens.
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I recently have been accelerated from the ninth grade to first year college after taking a government issued acceleration test. Now, the results came in a little later than expected, and so I was only able to enroll for the second trimester. I have a couple of months left with nothing to do. We live in a subdivision where commuting is quite hard because of all the road construction, and my mom, who usually drives, recently had an operation. I have a daily jogging routine from 4PM until 5, but other than that I have nothing concrete as to what I should do. I want it to be productive, but it's required that it must be doable indoors. Quick sidenote: I am 2 years into my recovery from dilated cardiomyopathy, so I'm not allowed heavy work, but I do enjoy writing on my blog and reading books. I just think I need to vary my schedule throughout, because I feel so unproductive when I do the same thing everyday. (link)
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hell yeah, if i could do nothing all day long everyday i would seriously getting into making things learning to sew and watch some you tube videos on how to do it too.
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it started when we were on vacation in 2014, she would just out of the blue say things like "don't mind me" or "hey i'm going to get naked in front of you, i'm sorry" obviously not naked but she would be wearing her panties... I'll say "oh thats ok i don't care".
She never use to be like that. She would always hide or be discrete like any normal girl. she has gone as far as wear short shorts, tank top thats etc thats what normal girls do when they walk around or bum around. she's only 18 so she dress flirty. hell i couldn't even see her in a towel!
starting to have a huge crush on her (link)
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Listen, some of the aspects of this are totally normal while on the other hand, some or are not. LIKE purposely stripping infront of you.
does this happen while your busy doing something in a bedroom? does she walk in your room and then start doing it while your on your computer or somewhere thats completely inappropriate?
If so you need to just say "look go change in your room because i dont wanna see that ok"
you need to let her know that her body is hers and hers alone and she doesnt need to share it with anyone. If youve asked her to stop already and she hasnt then you might need to take the tough love approach and when she starts doing it, leave where your at unless its in a place like your own room where she shouldnt be doing that kinda thing ANYWAY, or in the living room (or basically anywhere except her own room or a bathroom with the door closed) that its not ok.
your not going to hurt her so badly that your damaging the relationship forever ok. your her brother and its up to you to guide her, and make sure she doesnt go and do that with SOMEONE ELSE! your her family and you can teach her how to be and whats ok and whats not.
your not doing anything wrong by speaking up and saying "what are you doing? i dont wanna see that, go change in your room or the bathroom" and "i hope your not doing this around other people too" or if you have to, threaten to tell mom and dad or someone who will crack down on her.
she young and clearly needs to still be taught right and wrong. you did the right thing by coming here out of concern for your sister and her actions. your clearly uncomfortable with it so you reached out and thats a good thing!
good luck!
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Ok, he went home from the countryside and all he did was tell me about his cousin. He was soo into her that he started crying every night and calling me telling me he misses her. I asked him if he loved her romantically, he said no, that he only loved her as a sister. But when I asked him, why do you love her, he replies "she's just really different." What's that mean? I really need help. Also, how do I make him stop missing her? (link)
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Well for one, thats his cousin and its not ok to be romantically involved with each other first of all. Their parents are brothers or sisters, thats gross to put it plainly.
Also if hes really not into her romantically then maybe he misses her so much because he had been aware of the fact that he didnt get to have the type of cousin relationship with a personality like hers before and feels that they really connected and just wishes they could spend more time together. THAT is perfectly natural ok, the first reason ISNT.
We all have a family member or two that we didnt know we had so much in common with until we met them and hung out and got to know each other on a deeper level and realized how special that kinda thing is. I have an awesome gay cousin that i could not love more that lives almost 100 miles away, and we could not have more in common or make each other laugh harder then we already do with anyone else except maybe a romantic partner. BUT that line never gets crossed and he needs to know that that is a very important part of maintaining that relationship.
Also that just because you feel strongly for someone doesnt mean that your in love with them and that you should be so bold as to take shit to that next level, your family and thats incest. She could also take it badly if he did try anything on her and never want to see him again, so tell him it would be a bad idea to even think for a minute about trying to pull something.
Theres nothing you can really do to get someone to just stop thinking about someone else they care for. if he brings her up again ask her HOW shes different? let him talk, just sit and listen to everything he says about her, how he acts and really analyze weather hes ACTUALLY "in love" with her or if for HIM shes the first special, really understanding family member he feels hes ever had? because theres nothing wrong with that.
ask him to see pictures of the trip and just let him do the talking. stay calm, while your doing this and dont treat him badly if he DOES admit to having feelings of love for her.
Then tell him "oh its just lust, your both young thats all" and try to get him to minimize his feelings for her. If he tries to say things like "she does this or that and not other girl does that" say back "yeah there is plenty of other girls that do this or that, you just havent met any yet, and the only way you can do that is if you get yourself out there and meet people thats all"
see that words "thats all" at the end of a statement, finalize things and create a feeling of you nicely implying that hes wrong and that he just hasnt tried other things yet but that theres still plenty of time to do so. Then things like "but thats cool though" in a casual way, say "well your wrong but im not here to fight you on it, im your friend and ive experienced differently but that its OK and you can too" its a vague statement that says "well i disagree but its ok because we're cool with each other"
good luck...
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We're 14, dating for over 2 years, madly in love, fairly open about our love to. At least for someone in this situation.
I find it sad that us being related makes people sick that we love eachother, I guess I just came here to seek some approval
We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.
The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this.
We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.
The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this. (link)
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First let me just get this out. OMFG.
WOWWWWWWW.....ok, taking a deep breath now.
Ok, lets take this apart a little. Dont you think your KIND OF taking advantage of her? i mean even if this wasnt completely wrong, shes still very young and probably doesnt know where she stands yet on her sexual views and i think thats what is bothering me here more than anything else.....you need to think about what your doing here with her because it effects you both on all sorts of different levels mentally then i think your realizing.
your both very young right now, your bodies are both still going through changes, and sometimes this can result in youngsters kind of "experimenting" with each other, and thats natural but to do it with your sibling IS NOT.
I think the lines here have been so blurred between sibling love, teen lust, and hormonal changes happening that this is what things have come to, and she was there right in front of you so she would have been the obvious target (even if you didnt mean it) because shes of the opposite sex.
You need to think about what you could be doing to her mentally. your her older brother ok, surely that means that she looks up to you, to guide her, to protect her, and here you are not only NOT doing those things but your the cause. Your risking damaging her as a person later down the road in life when ever and if ever she should snap out of this whole "its ok to date my brother" thing and feel so shamed that she does something awful like kill herself as an adult.
Whats going to happen if and when things dont work out and she finds a REAL boyfriend who shes not related to and then he learns of this and reacts badly? leaves her over it because its disgusting, or makes her realize that what happened was wrong and that as her older brother you took advantage of her??
What happens when theres family events in the future and shes so ashamed that she cant show her face and never wants to see you again?? do you understand where im coming from on this??
take some time and really reflect and think about all this ok, because i think in the long run you will understand what type of damage doing something like this will do not only to you, your sister, and your family should they ever learn of it, but anyone that any of you should ever meet and tell this kinda thing too.
Do you really wanna carry such a big dark secret around on your shoulders for the rest of your life because you made one bad choice as a youngster? you cant turn back time here and make it all go away. Your clearly here looking for some answers and thats what we are here to do for you so clearly you know its not ok.
no one is going to bite your head off but we are here to guide you in the right direction.
stop, think, reflect, and do what you already know is the right thing to do here. you can still stop all this while your young and be able to look back and call it just a stupid mistake. do it now while your still can.....
good luck.
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I used to love a guy n proposed him for 3times but he refused 1st 2times n accepted me the 3rd time.our families n frnz knoew abt us.his mother was extra friendly with me n my mom.on the other hans my parents didn't like them because of their lifestyle n status but they adjusted with them coz I loved that guy.in the beginning I was too naive to understand his mom's policies..she used to call my parents n me to complaint abt me n what have I done wrong n what shouldn't have I done..my parents never chased her son for anything..but then she started to put all the blames upon me for her son's alcoholism..the guy used to consume alcohol before even he knows me but his mom said I am the reason for which he gets hurt n compelled to drink..even when her son met accidents she accused me..whereas her son uaed to lie to me in every steps of life n she used to chase me even before my exam nights..they kept me literally in mental trauma when I was in hostel..every single day I used to cry due to them.all my hostelmates were annoyed with their behavior n saw my sufferings..but I didn't tell anything to my parents..but oneday his mom called me when I was in home n chased me..my mom saw me crying n I became sick so mom called that guy n questioned him for the 1st time for his deeds...but again we patched up n smoothly were in.relationship untill he again fought wid me for no reason n lied n consumed alcohol...then he sent massage to my dad n.asked for his help to rescue him.from.me n said him that I am mentally sick...my dad didn't bother n didn't reply..but next to.next day I patched up with him unknown to the fact of his msg...then we went on a vacation, got intimated n all..he still didn't tell me anything abt the msg..then I dscvrd the msg on my dad's mbl n.confronted my bf...he fought again.n.used slang abt my mom n insltd her...i also said him word insltng his mom (which I shouldn hv done)..nw his mom again.called me up n literally quarreled wid me n tld me tht she'll cmplnt against me n my mom to my dad for abusing n accusing her son whereas I was the victim so long n she insltd my mom over n over...bt I knw myself..i'll again try to patch up wid him after all these...coz I so love him n had sex so cant frgt him..what should I do? (link)
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Ok your pretty much just wasting your time with him and his mother. they are BOTH crazy and you need to get away from them now.
Shes an idiot who believes that her son can "do no wrong" and that everything he does is someone else's fault and is not making him take any kind of accountability for himself and thats wrong as a parent.
Next: just because you had sex with him doesnt mean that you HAVE to try harder to make it work. Relationships are a two way street and if he cant get his mother to back off, take responsibility for his own actions, and act like a man then he shouldnt be in a relationship period.
If you leave now, he will just be one of those mistakes that you'll be able to look back on and say to yourself "thank god i left that guy" because there are other men out there that WILL treat you like a lady without you even having to ask hunny.
He sounds like a child and his mother sounds crazy for calling you and harassing you and your family. walk away and save yourself the drama before it gets worse.
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Ok, so my bestfriend from middleschool, we're both 16 and just graduated this year, is very close to me. He's like my brother, and we really do things like siblings. But of course, new schools means new friends, but we still get in touch. One day, he asked me if I'd like to watch the movies with him and his new schoolfriends, and I feel like i'm invading a forbidden space. Should I join them? (link)
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Nawww why would you feel that way?? you were in his life before they were, so you'll automatically be getting more respect because of that.
Sounds like he wants to keep you in his everyday life because hes trying to introduce you to new people he now has to see everyday and thats a good thing! hes making an active effort to keep you close and knowing the people he knows! i say go for it. I dont see why not.
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