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I feel unappreciated...
For months, I saved up to give my bestfriend a nice birthday stroll... We went here and there and I made sure he had fun. But when I got back home, I logged on to fb, and saw he posted a bunch of things. There were things like "I love Jesus" and a post tagging his girlfriend saying "Hi Mahal (love) I love you." and other bunch of random stuff... I also spent a whole 20 hours out of my house looking for this gift he always wanted, and when I gave it to him, he was like, "Oh my god! thanks!" then nothing else... I feel guilty about feeling this but I feel so unappreciated...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Like missundersmock said, what's really bumming you out is that you didn't get the kind of response you were expecting. Your friend did thank you, but not a big enough thank you or showing of appreciation to meet your expectation (since you did so much work). Maybe he didn't know how much trouble it was for you to get him that. Maybe he didn't want it as bad as you thought?
So its the unmet EXPECTATION that's really the problem here. Expecting people to say or act a certain way (to meet our expectations) is HUGE mistake. When giving someone anything, its important to not expect anything in return (besides a thank you). Because we supposedly give gifts cause we WANT to give it to them, not because they're gonna give us something in return. That includes a high level of appreciation.
So next time you want to give a gift, ask yourself. Do I want to give them this because I want to give it to them to make them happy, thus making me happy? Or Do I want to give this so I get something in return, including a high level of appreciation? Decide that you want to give it to them because you want to, not because you think they'll think you're super awesome for giving it to them.
Facebook is a perfect example of this. Suppose you post something you think is super awesome and you get no "likes". Chances are you're gonna feel bad or at least regret posting it because no one has looked at it or likes it or appreciates something you shared. Now, if you post the same thing but from the mindset of "I'm gonna share this because I WANT to share it. Not because I think it will get a bunch of likes." and leave it at that. Not expecting likes or shares or comments. Then it won't matter much if people like it or not. Cause you just did it just to share with no expectation.
Same with sharing gifts, give without expectation and giving will be a lot easier. In the end, if you keep giving and they keep disappointing you, then you can choose just stop giving them gifts if you want.
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Well maybe he needs to let it slowly soak in that you did such a great thing for him.
It doesnt sound like your feeling unappreciated, it sounds like you just didnt get the response you were looking for and thought it would be bigger then what it turned out to be. what you need to do is let some time pass, see how he acts, and if its over all nicer for some reason (because he realized that you were thoughtful and went through alot of trouble to do what you did for him)
if not, the next time you get in a fight, bring it up because your well within your rights to do so because you didnt say anything about it this whole time.
say "and by the way that thing i gave you for your b-day was really hard to come by and you have no idea the shit i had to go through to get that thing for you but your not very grateful are you???) and see what he says.
it may change his attitude a bit or he may adjust himself if you have more than one card to play about the way he acts. He'll then also know that your not just keeping track but that you WILL say something if your unhappy, and thats the best way to command respect and order within the relationship if the other isnt treating you good. ; )
good luck and make your feelings known but do it when its the right time, not just randomly.
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