I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65000
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does chewing tobacco cause pnemonia????? (link)
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No. As YounGrandma has said, it can cause other problems but not pneumonia. Pneumonia is a viral infection that can be passed as spores in the air and hand to mouth contact. It is possible to pick it up without realising you have been near someone who has it, in case you are concerned where it might have been contracted from. That being said, it isn't as common as the average cold or flu so don't let it worry you too much.
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I'm a married man. I used to have a group of female friends in high school and they recently contacted me. I want to see them, but my wife would probably not want me to. Should I see them secretly, ask my wife and respect her wishes, or tell my wife and do as I please? We are just friends. (link)
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Doing anything like this in secret is a recipe for disaster in any relationship, whether you are married or not so I would immediately advise against this. Look at it this way, do you think it would make anything better were she to find out that you had lied to her?
The problem is that a lot of women tend to be insecure when it comes to men, so the prospect of their beloved wanting to hang out with a bunch of potentially attractive women is very daunting. She doesn't know them and for all she knows, they could be just waiting to take her wonderful husband away from her.
If this is likely to be the situation, you need to sit her down and actually give her the opportunity to react to this information. If you haven't told her about it yet, you have no way of knowing what she will say, so that is the first thing you need to do. The chances are, it might concern her a little so what I would strongly recommend is that rather than let these women remain an unnerving mystery to her, let her meet them too. Perhaps not the first time you see them because the chances are this will make the matter worse. You will be talking about old times together and she will feel left out.
However, after that, you could arrange a barbeque or some other kind of gathering and let her get to know them, so that she knows they are not a threat.
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sometimes when i tan i sweat on my face and usually on the nose area.. well i was wondering if this could have caused pimples around my nose because usually there arent any pimples there and ever since i tanned and sweat around my nose i started to get them.. and if not what could it be?? (link)
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When you get hot, your pores open wider. This is why when you have a facial, you have to wash your face with warm water or place a hot flannel on your face for a minute or two. The problem is that when your pores are wide open, it's easier for dirt and grime to become trapped in them. If your face is dirty already then I suppose it is possible for the sweat to contribute to the problem. However, if you want to fix the problem, make sure you use a good face cleanser morning and night. If oily skin is a problem, try to use an oil free moisturiser, which could make it worse. If you use a facial wash or scrub to help cleanse the pores morning and night, make sure that after ensuring it is all rinsed off thoroughly, you give your face a rinse with some cold water, which will help to close your pores.
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right after when you take a shower or whenever, is it best to brush your hair with a comb or brush? and which one causes more splitends because i want to get rid of mine? and other tips would be helpful (link)
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It's better to use a wide toothed comb than a hairbrush. At all times, it is better to use a natural fibre hairbrush than a plastic one, as this is more gentle on your hair.
If at all possible, avoid brushing or combing your hair when it is wet because it will increase damage to your hair. However, if, like me, you have to comb it a little when wet, try to make sure it is only damp, rather than dripping and use a wide toothed comb. Start at the bottom and try to be gentle as possible. When you have got out all the knots from the bottom section of your hair, work up. If you start at the top, it can push knots down the hair, making the hair stretch and split and it can cause the hair to mat. If you start from the bottom, it is kinder to the hair and easier to get the knots out.
If you do suffer with split ends, I would recommend you try using Aussie Three Minute Miracle Conditioner, which really does improve the condition of your hair. Also, try not to use a hot setting on your hairdryer. Use it on the hottest setting until it gets to be damp rather than wet. After this, turn it down to a medium setting until it is dry. Afterwards, give your hair a blast of cool air. This will help to prevent heat damage and frizz.
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you know how when you sweat you lose weight? well whenever i tan i sweat because of the hotness.. well i was wondering if this can make me lose weight? and if it doesnt then what does it do? (link)
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Sweating can make you lose weight but it's such an insignificant amount that no, unfortunately, it won't really affect your weight when you are trying to tan. Part of the reason you lose weight is because your body retains a certain amount of water. Your body produces sweat to cool itself down. The moisture helps to cool the surface of the skin. The best way I can explain this is when you are really really hot, spray cold water onto your skin and then stand in front of a fan or air conditioning vent.
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For the past 4 days I have been SOOOO tired. I've been so tired to the point where I couldn't function and I almost forgot where I was. I got 10 hours of sleep 3 days ago, 8 and a half hours of sleep 2 days ago, and like 15 hours of sleep yesterday so it's not because I'm sleepy. I'm just so tired and I can barely move. And my body doesn't hurt. I DONT have a stomach or head ache or anything, I'm just soooo tired. I took my temperature and It's 98.7 so it's normal. It hasn't stopped for 4 days!!! I went to bed at 4 in the afternoon yesterday and slept until 10 a.m so I wouldn't feel tired today, but I still feel just as tired! Even when I pulled an all nighter about 6 months ago, I still didn't feel as tired then as I do now! I have no energy whatsoever and I drank a lot of water so I'm hydraded. I don't know what's wrong with me. What could be causing me being sooo tired and feeling so weak? (link)
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There are a number of possible reasons, ranging from a simple viral infection (these do not always give you a fever)to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (M.E) or anaemia.
It might just be that for whatever reason, your body is craving sleep right now. It is possible to get to a stage where you are so tired it can take a very long time to get over it.
However, I would recommend that if you feel fatigued for longer than a week, you should really seek advice from your Doctor. I'm sure there's probably nothing to worry about but if you are concerned, make sure you get as much sleep as possible in the meantime and then make an appointment.
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Ok well me and my mom have not been getting along at all lately. i mean she drinks constantly and i cant talk to someone when they are drunk. plus i dont want to go to that schoool. i really want to move in with my father. but i dont no what to tell her. for like a couple weeks now shes been threatnig to send me there and when i say i wanna go there supossedly "a problem"
How do i tell her i wanna live with my dad without making her feel bad? is she gunna feel bad no matter what?
i will rate high!!!!thanks in advance... (link)
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You have my sympathies. It's very difficult to choose between one parent and another, especially when you know that one of them has a problem.
What you need to do first of all is speak to your Father and let him know the situation. Tell him you're worried because your Mum drinks more than you believe she should and tell him you aren't happy there. He might ask you if you want him to speak to her for you. It's up to you whether you want to go down this route but I would advise against it if the split between her and your Father was a tough one.
If you really want to live with your Father, make sure first of all that he can have you. I can't think there would be a problem with this but it's always a good idea to ensure there aren't any problems first.
Then you need to sort it out with your Mother. The chances are the reason she says there is a 'problem' is because you mean so much to her. If she has turned to alcohol because of whatever it is in her life that she's having trouble coping with, she is likely to cling to you as much as she can. That being said, she needs to know that her habit is driving you away.
No matter how you do it, it will make her feel bad and I hate saying that because I don't want to make you feel like you have to stay. The fact is, if you have options, you need to make the choice that is best for you. Your Mum needs help with breaking her drinking habit but in the meantime, you have to take care of yourself. You're only young and you deserve the best chance at life possible. Let her know that you love her and you will always be there for her but as long as she is drinking, you can't live with her. She needs to learn to look after herself properly before she can be responsible for you. It sounds harsh but if her drinking is that bad then it is the bottom line.
After that, go to your Father's. Make sure you call her as often as possible, even if that means every day, so you know that she is okay and so that she doesn't feel forgotten by you. It's difficult for any Mother when a child leaves home but when they know it's because of their behaviour, it will be harder so you need to reassure her that you love her and want to help her. Maybe you could find the number for a group nearby that might be able to offer her some support?
Other than that, there's not a lot else I can suggest. Please, please, don't allow yourself to be guilt-tripped into staying. You need to get away because it is one thing for your Mother to put herself through the hell she is going through but she can't put you through it. If you go, tell her that you will help her if you can but you can't live with her while she drinks.
Good luck.
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I like this guy that lives downthe street from me hes really hott and i thinkhe likes me back. he alsoalready knows that i like him. The only problem is i already have a boyfriend and i know its not good to lead him on but i love being around him even though hes a little strange all of my friends sayi should breakup with my boy friend and go with the other guy i thinkthat to but wat should i tell my boyfriend.
Im 14 15 in september
and female (link)
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First of all, forget what your friends are saying to you because this is YOUR life, not theirs and if they disappeared after you made the wrong decision, you would be stuck with the consequences.
What do YOU want? You say that you like this other guy but how do you feel about your boyfriend? If you like him then stay with him and ignore the comments from your friends. At some point, they will all get boyfriends that friends think are weird so we can overlook their comments right now.
If, however, you know in your heart of hearts that you really don't want to be with your boyfriend because you prefer this other guy then you the right thing to do would be to end it. I know you won't want to hurt him so try to be gentle and you have got to give him a reason for breaking up with him. Explain to him that you really like him but not in the right way because there's not enough chemistry there for you.
I know it's difficult to do this, but if you're intending to go out with this other guy soon after breaking up with your boyfriend, he deserves to find this out from you before hearing it frm someone else. If this is the case, tell him that there is someone else that you like and it would be unfair to continue to go out with him while you liked this other guy. Your heart lies elsewhere and you don't want to lead him on.
That way, he knows the truth without making it blunt and you get to spare his feelings as much as possible by breaking it to him gently.
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Is there a way to make your own pore strips to get rid of blackheads? (link)
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Honestly, I don't believe that there is. Pore strips contain specific ingredients to ensure they remove blackheads without causing damage to the skin around the pores and most of them are made in a way which means they won't glue to your skin so much you can't pull them off without it hurting a lot. Any you make at home might not do that and you could end up doing damage to your skin and in a lot of pain.
I see that two people have suggested the use of duck tape. This is actually not a great idea. Firstly, duck tape will stick to your skin quite firmly and chances are it will hurt to pull it off. Secondly, the adhesive that makes duck tape sticky will actually clog your pores more than it will remove blackheads.
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hey- okay so i am a 15 year old girl and im gonna be a sophomore and i have liked this boy for a while now about since february. we were really cute until at the end of march i did something that hurt him and even though we were hardly together, we both got mad at eachother and that spread us apart and make us afraid of the future, now after a while we are so cute and so strong except that we fight alot and he is very shy..what can i do to stop the arguments and help him to open up a little to me because i like him alot!? thank you!
=) (link)
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The chances are that part of the reason you are arguing so much now is that he may be harbouring some resentment towards you still from whatever it was that you did to him at the end of March.
However, the best thing to do in situations such as yours is to open the lines of communication. Rather than talking through your problems, you are both bottling them up and lashing out at each other.
What you need to do is have an agreement that if either of you is upset with the other for some reason or another, you sit down and discuss it until it has been talked through. There can be NO shouting or swearing or otherwise aggressive behaviour because that will make it worse. Once you have worked through some of your problems, you should find things get better.
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My dad pasted away from leukemia 4 months and 10 days ago (March 1st). Well right now, we're (my mom, brother, and I) in Ireland visiting family. We've been here for about 3 weeks. Well for then past 2 weeks my mom has been acting very different and forgetful. When she goes to do the dishes or something, when she's done, she'll come and sit down then get up and say that she needs to do the dishes. When she gets into the kitchen and sees that there are no dishes (because she already did them) she'll ask "Who did the dishes? I was about to do them!" It's so weird. She'll also repeats herself all the time and never wants to go out or do anything.
We're all so worried about her but we don't know what to do. My family members want us to get her to see a specialist here in Ireland but my brother and I want to cut our trip short and deal with it once we get back to the states. We don't know which is better.
At first we thought she's like this because of the loss of my dad but she's gone over 4 months without anything weird like this so why now? Any help?
(link)
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I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be a very difficult time for you right now and you have my sympathies.
There are a couple of possible causes for your Mother's behaviour, as far as I can see.
It could be that she is perhaps suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It's quite hard to explain but in many cases, it's almost as though the sufferer shuts down their mind completely, as a way to seal themselves away from the rest of the world because the trauma they have been through is too difficult to cope with. It's not a conscious decision but more of a self-preservation subconscious reaction. If this is the case, treatment could be something very simple such as bereavement counselling, or it may mean medication but either way, it is best that seeks advice from a medical practitioner.
The other alternative is not one I really like to mention but I feel I should. Although you have not mentioned her age, Alzheimers is a possibility. Now, it's rare in younger adults but has been known to occur as early as the 30's. Again, I want to stress that this is rare but given the way she has been acting, it is possible, especially given the way she forgets chores she has just completed and is experience feelings of what sounds like anxiety towards the outside world.
I would like to make the point however, that I am not a Doctor and although these are two possibilities, I really think you should see someone as quickly as possible. If that means seeing someone in Ireland then it would be better to do that now. I say this purely because if she is suffering from PTSD, the stress of a long plane flight, given her anxiety towards going out, might be more difficult right now.
I'm sorry I can't provide more information but I hope this will be enough to help for now. Best of luck to you all and I hope your Mother gets well soon.
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Hey everybody! I'm 14/f. Well, I have a fear of dogs. It's just that when they get close to me I'm so afraid and start to take off. Once when I was a young kid, my next-door neighbor's dog Kiki was chasing after me and I literally thought that it was going to kill me. I don't want to be afraid of dogs because I think they are the cutest things ever, especially puppies. Does anyone have any advice on how I can overcome my fear of dogs...I would really appreciate it! Thanks. (link)
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Really, with a fear of something such as an animal, the best way to overcome it is with exposure.
I have a phobia myself so you really have my sympathies but as a person whose life has been ruled by fear so far, you need to overcome it and give yourself a chance at having a better quality of life so here's what I suggest.
Don't go to a dog kennel for this unless you're certain you can cope with a lot of barking. They don't bark do be vicious at all, but to get your attention. If you can handle it then speak to the people who own the kennel, who I am certain will be more than happy to help. If you can't get to a kennel or can't handle that many at once, find a friend, relative or someone else who owns a dog. I would recommend you start off small and work your way up.
Keep dog treats with you and work on getting closer to the dog to begin with. Don't worry if it takes more than one attempt. Fear is a difficult thing to overcome. Just keep focusing, not on what you need to do but on the end result, which will help you. Keep seeing yourself happy with a puppy, stroking a puppy, playing with a puppy and so on. Keep this in your minds eye and get closer to the dog. When you get there, you may have to force yourself but pat it. You don't have to go into full on stroke yet but maybe toss a treat on the ground and then just pat its head lightly. Then, when you feel braver, strke its head.
If you keep persevering, you will get there. Just keep focusing on what you want to achieve, so that you are thinking positively. You'll be cradling that puppy before you know it!
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My cousin had a friend over. They asked if I wanted to see a movie with them at home. I said okay. I went. My cousin's mom told me that I couldn't go because my cousin never asked her. So I had to go home. My cousin never apologized. I got a phonecall. It was my cousin's friend, who asked, "Hey, do you have any money?" I said no. My cousin's friend asked, "Well, I have a proposition for you. I heard that you like me, so if you go to the movies with us and pay for me to go, then I'll call it a date." I said that I don't even know my cousin's friend and won't be used like that.
Should I be offended? My cousin is one of my best friends. (link)
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I'd be offended and horrified if I were you! Firstly your cousin invites you over and doesn't even bother to ask so you get kicked out before you make it past the front door. Then your cousin actually appears to have given your number to his friend, who not only tries to scrounge money off you (a complete stranger to him) but also has the audasity to say if you pay, he'll call it a date!!!!!!
Frankly, I think you need to talk to your cousin about this and find out if he knew he was calling you up to ask for money. If he did know or, worse, agreed to him making the call on these grounds, you need to seriously reconsider your friendship with your cousin.
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ok for the past week my body has been gettin knome(sp?)( i cant feel it) and even when i am walking it happens. it does this with my hands and my feet.
is it possible that i am a diabetic? or that i can possible have high blood pressure?
(link)
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Actually, if you are experiencing numbness, this is something I would associate more with anaemia than anything else. This is when the iron in your bloody gets low because you aren't absorbing it sufficiently from food. I have suffered from this badly myself in the past and suffered with the numbness when I was walking or when I stood up. My legs would give way under me when I was walking along for quite some time before i was diagnosed.
Although this is one possibility, there are a number of other possible reasons for what you are experiencing so you should speak to your Doctor. However, to set your mind at rest, it's not something most commonly associates with Diabetes, of which the main symptoms are extreme thirst and frequent trips to the loo. It's also not a common symptom of high blood pressure.
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I am thinking about becoming a vegetarian. But i dont know the FIRST thing about it. I know that they say vegans dont get enough protein and stuff like that and i dont know how i would get certain vitamins if i did become a vegan. I tried to google this but i didnt find anything that answers my questions. If anyone can help me out I would greatly appreciate it! (link)
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Vegan and vegetarian are really two different things.
I've been vegetarian since i was 8 and the first thing you need to do is there are different types. The main two are those who don't eat any form of dead animal but do eat other dairy, such as butter, eggs, milk, cheese etc and then there are those that eat fish but no other meat. Personally, I don't eat any sort of dead animal. The most important thing you need to know is that yes, being vegetarian can mean you don't get all the nutrients you should. By not eating meat, you miss out on things like protein and iron, which means you need to find other foods that contain these. Iron, for example, is best found in green leafy vegetables such as broccoli, sprouts and spinach. Protein is in foods such as eggs, tofu, beans and nuts.
If you do decide to become vegetarian, you need to be prepared for the fact that it means you will have to be more careful with your diet. It's not that easy and many people who become vegetarian later in life find they don't want to maintain the diet. You need to eat a lot more fruit, veg and in most cases a lot more dairy to compensate for the foods you miss out on. Also watch out for gelatin/gelatine in various foods. It's a sticky, jelly like substance which is derived from animals. It's most common in chewy sweets, jelly and other desserts.
Vegan means you eating absoloutely no animal products. That rules out meat products, milk, cheese, eggs, chocolate, ice cream and basically anything else derived from an animal. It's a very limited diet so you need to be prepared for the fact it will be very difficult. I would strngly recommend that if you decide to become vegan, you speak to your Doctor, who can arrange a referral to a Dietician, who will help you adjust your diet accordingly.
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Im 16 and sexually active i either have sex or oral sex at least once or twice a day. Can this hurt my sperm count or density in any way?? Im worried becuase my sperm looked alittle thin (link)
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Contrary to some below comments, no it is not injurious to your in any way in the long term (as long as you are having protected sex).
Your body produces a certain amount of sperm in 24 hours. If you are constantly releasing semen, you will find that less will come out each time.
However, doing this will not mean your body will produce less over time. The best way to think of it is like a bucket. In 24 hours it can fill up but the more you spill, the less there is left to spill.
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I have had a rash for about 6 weeks, there was a change in detergent and also cleaners but have corrected both of these. I have been to the dr 2x's and the itching is driving me crazy. I have done the aveno, sterode shots, steriode cream, zertic, claritan hive pills, all over counter anti-histmine. I am at a lost, the rash does not form a blister, is under the skin until I scratch it and then it whelps. Any suggestions. (link)
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I have a similar problem on my hands and arms, which I suspect to be dermatitis herpetiformis.
I am wondering if it might be something other than an allergy to the detergent. Have you noticed any other symptoms at all? Stomach upsets or any other possible reactions? I only ask because mine is triggered, it seems by a food allergy I have.
Anyway, I have been used Denovate Skin Cream and as long as I stay away from the trigger, it does clear it in just over a week, so if you haven't tried this already, it might be a good option for you to consider. As far as I am aware, it can only be obtained from your Doctor so have a word with him about this or Betnovate cream, which is also good.
You could try Emollient Cream, which helps to ease the itching caused by eczema, E45 Hydrocortisone Cream or Aqueous Cream which aare also supposed to be good. All are available from chemists.
If you find that Betnovate or Denovate Cream clears it, the only warning I would give is that it dried my hands out so badly that my right hand was left looking about 50 years older than the rest of me! I've been using E45 for a few weeks and the dryness has gone so make sure you have some to combat the side effects once the eczema has gone.
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Me and my girlfriend have just recently started having sex..and for some reason its been hard for me to come..i waited like a week without masterbating because i told her i would wait until we did it..the first night we had sex i drank a little and im pretty sure that the alcahol was the reason..well one day during the day we had sex and i came..it felt amazing and then like 2 days later i tryed to masterbate and it was difficult to come..it took forever..not like normal..what seems to be the problem?
Also the one time that i did come i went in her..shes on the pill so its fine..but that was on tuesday and we've had sex since then but i didnt come in her..she says that it still burns a little when she pees..is that normal?
thank you. (link)
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Sometimes, it is just more difficult to reach orgasm than others but please don't worry about this yet because you have only just started having sex and it will take a while for your body to settle into a rhythm.
As for your girlfriend, what she is experiencing is something called 'Honeymoon Cystitis'. I had the same problem when my boyfriend and I started sleeping together and it can be very painful. It's not an infection, like normal Cystitis but is caused when sex results in bruising to the bladder. This makes it more sensitive and can make her need to go to the loo more and feel very sore when she does go.
I went to see my doctor on a number of occasions and each time was prescribed antibiotics. Although there is no infection, it helps to alleviate the symptoms. It's rare for a woman to suffer this after having sex a few times, as her body becomes used to the friction. However, in some cases (like mine), honeymoon cystitis can strike after each sexual encounter. Although there is no official way you can prevent this from happening, my doctor prescribed me the antibiotics on repeat prescription and advised me to take one after each time we had sex, as he found this had worked with another patient of his. Amazingly, it did work and I no longer need to take them so if this does happen with your girlfriend, ask her to speak to her doctor and see if this could work for her too.
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I've heard a lot of things about the pill and I wanted to know if they were true.
Does It make your periods more regular?
Does it make your periods lighter/not as painful?
Does it make you gain weight or lose weight?
Does it help clean acne?
Thanks (link)
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It really depends which Pill you are on. There are lots of different Pills out there and you need to bear in mind that everyone's reactions to different tablets will differ. However, I have been on Microgynon 30 for 3 years and with regard to my experience:
Yes it does make me much more regular. I can actually time when I will come on down to the hour.
My periods have been a lot lighter since I've been on the Pill. However, I must admit the pain levels have increased over the years and the last two or three in particular have been very painful.
It didn't make me gain or lose weight. Some people can gain weight but this is because the Pill can cause them to have an increased appetite. As long as you watch what you eat then you shouldn't notice any change.
I have never really had much of a problem to this date with my skin (touch wood) but I have heard more stories of the Pill causing acne than clearing it. Again though, this depends on the Pill you take and your reaction to it.
The good news is that whatever Pill you take, you can change it if you find that it causes side effects that you do not wish to continue experiencing. Pills can also cause mood swings, headaches, stomach upsets around 'that time of the month' etc etc. However, side effects are not all that common and there is very little point worrying about these things until you have tried it and know how you react.
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Okay, i dont usually do this, but i cant trust my friends with this one. I have a boyfriend who ive been dating for 13 months. in the last four months, ive started to fall for a guy i work with and have been working with for two years, we are jokingly refered to as the work couple. lately my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot, and i spend more time at work (im working full time this summer) i dont think that i will be truly happy with either relationship, but the situation im in right now isnt appealing either. i feel like im losing interest in my boyfriend, yet i love him just as much.
what do i do? (link)
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The chances are that the reason you are feeling bored with your current relationship is because you feel as though it isn't working, whereas your working relationship with this other guy seems to be flourishing and it is giving you a taste of something new.
What you need to do now is to work out what the problems are with your boyfriend. You say you love him, so clear a weekend where you can spend all the time together and try to work through some of your issues. Relationships ARE hard work and if you want them to be successful, you need to try hard to work through your problems. So try both of you working out what the issues are that you have with each other and then take it in turns to confront each other. Make an agreement first of all that there will be NO interrupting, or shouting, or swearing or abusive language. Listen to what each other has to say and try to see things frm each other's point of view. The chances are, a few home truths might come out and they WILL sting but relationships force us to confront the things we don't like about ourselves and learn not only to accept we have those faults but that we can change them.
After you have done all this and cleared the air (by this, I mean don't stop until you are done with the issues you were faced with), you should find things start to improve because each time you do things that you know upset each other, you can call yourselves on it before the other does, hence preventing the argument. Don't be afraid to be creative with your solution to your problems. If you think he swears too much or goes out with his friends more than he spends time with you, come up with action plans. Set up a swear box or make sure that whenever he gets to go out with his friends, you get to go out with yours or have your friends over.
Finally, the problem with the guy at work is, I suspect, purely that you are feeling fairly trapped in your current relationship and are looking to him for an escape. If you sort things out with your boyfriend then your feelings for this other guy might just fizzle out. If, however, you find that after resolving your issues with your boyfriend, you are still very much attracted to this other guy and feel more strongly for him (lust is the exception, being a usually temporary longing only) than your boyfriend, you owe it to yourself and your partner to call it a day. Even if you don't date the guy at work, it would be unfair to continue your relationship with your boyfriend if you know that there is something more out there.
Don't give up yet because there is hope for your relationship. If that doesn't work, then perhaps a fresh start really would be best for the both of you.
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