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Dads or Moms!?!
Ok well me and my mom have not been getting along at all lately. i mean she drinks constantly and i cant talk to someone when they are drunk. plus i dont want to go to that schoool. i really want to move in with my father. but i dont no what to tell her. for like a couple weeks now shes been threatnig to send me there and when i say i wanna go there supossedly "a problem"
How do i tell her i wanna live with my dad without making her feel bad? is she gunna feel bad no matter what?
i will rate high!!!!thanks in advance...<33
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You have my sympathies. It's very difficult to choose between one parent and another, especially when you know that one of them has a problem.
What you need to do first of all is speak to your Father and let him know the situation. Tell him you're worried because your Mum drinks more than you believe she should and tell him you aren't happy there. He might ask you if you want him to speak to her for you. It's up to you whether you want to go down this route but I would advise against it if the split between her and your Father was a tough one.
If you really want to live with your Father, make sure first of all that he can have you. I can't think there would be a problem with this but it's always a good idea to ensure there aren't any problems first.
Then you need to sort it out with your Mother. The chances are the reason she says there is a 'problem' is because you mean so much to her. If she has turned to alcohol because of whatever it is in her life that she's having trouble coping with, she is likely to cling to you as much as she can. That being said, she needs to know that her habit is driving you away.
No matter how you do it, it will make her feel bad and I hate saying that because I don't want to make you feel like you have to stay. The fact is, if you have options, you need to make the choice that is best for you. Your Mum needs help with breaking her drinking habit but in the meantime, you have to take care of yourself. You're only young and you deserve the best chance at life possible. Let her know that you love her and you will always be there for her but as long as she is drinking, you can't live with her. She needs to learn to look after herself properly before she can be responsible for you. It sounds harsh but if her drinking is that bad then it is the bottom line.
After that, go to your Father's. Make sure you call her as often as possible, even if that means every day, so you know that she is okay and so that she doesn't feel forgotten by you. It's difficult for any Mother when a child leaves home but when they know it's because of their behaviour, it will be harder so you need to reassure her that you love her and want to help her. Maybe you could find the number for a group nearby that might be able to offer her some support?
Other than that, there's not a lot else I can suggest. Please, please, don't allow yourself to be guilt-tripped into staying. You need to get away because it is one thing for your Mother to put herself through the hell she is going through but she can't put you through it. If you go, tell her that you will help her if you can but you can't live with her while she drinks.
Good luck.
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Chances are no matter what your mom will be hurt / angry, you should look for a group in your area called alateen it is for children of alcoholics to help deal with the issues and to get support. Living with an alcoholic is no place for you talk to your dad and then break the news, know that you are doing the smart thing that is healthiest for you maybe this will also provide the wake up call your mom needs to get help. Right now you need to remember that she is the parent and you need to be cared for properly by a sober adult.
Hope this helps. Good luck
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Talk to your da and let him know you want to live with him, then have him brake the news to her. No matter what she will be hurt though. Good luck. :)
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Talk to your mom when she's not drunk.Tell her in a nice calm way and she wont feel bad.Trust me.
Good Luck!
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