LoveNJstyle's

advice

sorry is this is long but I really need help so please don't skip over it
Ok my parents have been divorced my whole life I don't even know who my dad is. Well my mom has serious problems with finding guys. They usually beat her or cheat on her. I've had about a dozen stepfathers and all of them treat her like shit and she doesn't deserve that. Well my newest stepfather Richie has been with my mother for 2 years now and she is really happy with him. I've never seen my mom this happy before. He is soo nice to her. But the thing is he has a son (my stepbrother) who is constantly hitting me and raping me. I tried talking to my mom about it and she said that she would talk to my stepdad and my stepbrother. She did and then it stopped for a little while but then he did it again and it was even worse than it was before. He had a couple of his friends over and they thought that it would be fun to beat and rape his 14 year old step sister. I talked to my stepdad and he told me to stop making things up. He told my mother that I was making things up and they sent me to a shrink. Needless to say my stepbrother continued to do these things to me. I confronted my mother again and she told me to talk to my stepdad. I did and he told me that I was lying and that even if I wasn't I needed to get over it because we are a happy family and we all have to make sacrifices I told him that that was wrong and he hit me! Now he's been hitting me too when my mom isn't around. I don't know what to do. She is soo happy and she deserves to be. I don't want to ruin this for her. My question is should I just deal with this so that she can be happy or is there anyway that I can get help without ruining this for her?

well, all i can say is that this should prove that he was raping you (obviously) and im sooo sorry it had to come to this before they realized the hell you were in. no one should have to be scared to be around theyre family...even if hes a step brother its still incest. the counselors you went to should have done something about it because this puts you in harm's way. THIS IS NOT your fault. you didnt choose to be in this position, you wanted you mom to be happy. please make some noise...put your stepbrother to shame. thats just disgusting and it will ruin him like he ruined you. he will end up in jail after they see the scares, dna tests, gyno tests and he will never get sex again thats for sure. keep your head up, your mom will realize the mistake she made and hopefully ditch him. lemme know if u need anymore help.

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alright, i used to mess around with this boy but i guess it never got serious between me and him. he was my first kiss.and i still like him ,but he has a girlfriend and his girlfriend is my FRIEND! and sometimes i see him when im with her..what should i do? :0)

i agree with MACwhOre...dont try to break them up or anything b/c then youll lose a friend and a guy. just try to move on and be friends with both of them...you cant do anything but be happy for them.

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okay.. so theres this boy that likes me who i really like also... he told his best friend that him and i were going to go out.. but he hasnt asked me yet... his best friend tells me that hes most likely going to cheat on me... so thats a bummer right? well.. i realy really like him you know but i dont want to be cheated on.... so i thought maybe i could go out with him but not think much of it.. but that wouldnt make the relation ship work... than i decided i could realllly dedicate myself to him and that would stop him from cheating on me.. but no one wants their heart brokend.. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?


signed... helpless!

no matter how much you dedicate yourself to him, he will still cheat. this guy isnt worth it and either way, you are gonna end up hurt. please try to move one...hes not worthy of you.

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you never told me yours but anyways mine is greengiant3155

yeah i checked ur column. mine is glitr1170

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DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A PLACE WHERE i CAN GET SOME CUTE CURSOR CODES THAT ARE COMPATiABLE WITH MYSPACE?THANKS!

umm in not sure if its compatible but starlight.com has some cute cursors.

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My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been together for over two years now and we've celebrated many holidays together. For my birthday, he got me a Dooney and Bourke purse and for Christmas, he bought me a Tiffany's bracelet! He has bought me many gifts that I have loved, and I thought this was great, because he knew my taste and what I would like!! I recently found out that his mom has been telling him what he should get me for these holidays. It kind of hurts my feelings because it makes me feel like he doesn't know me very well at all. He just goes to his mom to find out what he should get me. I have a feeling that someday, she's gonna pick out the ring he should propose to me with!! I hate this!! I want him to pick out this for me himself!! What should I do about this?

well i wouldnt worry about it. he just wants to get you something perfect. lets put it this way, he thought about it so much that he realized he needed help and that takes some guts on his part. (not many guys admit to it.) those are just material things...as long as she doesnt tell him what to do in the relatioship, i really dont think you have anything to worry about.

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Ok my bf and I had sex and I missed my peroid for like two weeks. And this is really nasty and srry but need help. I had this nasty yellow/white stuff coming out of me and it looked like it had an egg in it. But right after that I got my peroid. Did I have a miss carriage. I sound really stupid but I really don't have anyone to ask. Well now we broke up and I just wanted to know. Thanks

i dont think theres anyway that it could have been a miscarriage. after a woman is pregnant, i think it takes a while to get her period back to normal. you just had a late period, thats all.

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hey my name is Ashley and i'm a feamle(of course) and i'm 14 yrs. old heres my question for anybody with good advice!!!

I like my best friends ex!!! Heres the scoop... they broke up because my best friend was confused and she cheated on him. Well now(two months later) she starts telling me she now knows what she was missing and she really did love him and she wants desperately to go with him again. Now i've been talking to him since they broke up because he needed a friend cuz he really liked her but she cheated on him.(yea i kno guys actually have feelings...well at least the good ones) and i'm starting to like him now i mean he's the perfect boyfriend he's cute, hilarious, loving, i don't know he's just soOoOo great!! the thing is that my best friend who i've been friends with for almost 11 yrs. still "loves" him i really really think she'll be so mad if he askes me out or if i ask him. I dont know what to do cuz i dont want her to be mad at me but i dont get very many guys nowadays and i really like him and he told me i was hot yesterday please help me!!

Luv,

~~~ASHLEY~~~

P.S. i rate high

well its her problem...she shouldnt have cheated on him. i would go for him, shes gonna have to get over him sometime and i doubt the guy would wanna get back with her anyway. hope this helps!

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I'm doing a project on bulimia and need to know the different ways they have by throwing up and what it does when you do it. Please help me out thanks.

i can give you the very basics (straight out of the book): a girl who suffers from bulimiea is obsessed with being thin. but unlike an anorexic, she doesnt starve herself to controll her weight. instead, she "binges" and "purges". that means she eats large amounts of food in a short period of time and then tries to get rid of it by forcing herself to vomit or by using laxatives that make her go to the bathroom. i girl who is bulimic may: become secretive about food-about what, when, and how much, save up or hide food, spend a lot of time thinking about and planning next eating binge, take a lot of diet pills and laxatives, have stomach aches, sore throats, or tooth decay from frequent vomiting.

hope this helps. if you need more info, go to NationalEatingDisorders.org.

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I have acne on my face that I hate.

I have an apointment for the dermatologist  in May. But does anyone know some good over the counter stuff that I can use till then?

honestly, when i saw my derm, he told me to never use any of that stuff cuz it was only making it worse because it wasnt caused by being dirty of anything. try soap and water to clean gently and curel moisturizer. goodluck

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Lately i have been sad all the time im never happy anymore im always mad and sreaming or sad aand crying.. why im i like this all of a sudden..

well maybe you gave up on somthing or havent got enough excersize. working out releases endorpines into your body which make you naturally happy for a while so just move around until you break a sweat. it might be stress or pms and you just have to learn how to deal with those things. talking to someone about this might help. let me know if you need me

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I'm making a project for school. I was wondering, is there anyway to get a soundclip to play through the whole presentation and not just one clip?

yeah your gonna have to put it on every slide if u want it to play the whole time...kinda sucks. goodluck

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I need to go get my hair cut pretty soon and I was looking around for a cute way to cut it. I have dirty blonde hair that is about a foot past my shoulders and I have an oval face. All the websites that I've been to only had old styles that I didnt really like. Id be really greatful if anyone could find a good website or some pics. Thanks!!

P.S.-- I still want to keep my hair pretty long.

get it to about 4 inches below your shoulders with layers and side-swept bangs.

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There's this guy that I really like, we'll call him David. Anyway, David knows I like him, and he says he likes me too. But, he also says that he wants to wait to ask me out, till he gets to know me better. Anyway, he kissed me the other night, and I'm afraid it's going to turn into a friends with benefits relationship, which I don't want at all, but I have no self control around him, I can't help from kissing him back. How do I get him to ask me out sooner?

tell him you cant kiss until you are in a relationship...he should get the idea. or if you really cant stop yourself, ask him out and you can get to know each other as bf n gf. hope this helps!

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I have liked this girl since she came to my new school in January, and well i think she knows but shes always been sort of meen to me but i think she's just playing i cant tell. I had my hair long and i recently cut it because i got in a fight with my mom(lol), but it looks retarted and i hate it and well i was talking to my friends and they said that she had a little crush on me when i had my hair lol, i dont blame her, and well it just hurts so bad because she will never know how much i care for her and now she is like alot more meen to me it's just the wrong time because i'm going through alot... what do i do?

move on... if she only liked you for your hair, shes shallow and you should go for someone that likes you even if your bald. and if you really want her to like you, just grow it out again and see what happens.

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Ugh I'm chinese..yeah yeah..the first thing that comes to mind are those tiny tiny eyes..whatever..but yeah i'm so insecure of myself.. is there anything i can do to make them look BIGGER?! pleaseeee..(don't say surgery!..im only like 13) but yeahh please help..here is my ratins system: (5)-great advice, (4)-ok advice but somewhat questionable :-\ (3)-about to fall off the curb kinda ok but useless advice, (2)-unhelpful and useless,(1)-if you critisize me or basically give useless advice..thanks in advance!

you could try eyeliner or maybe some eyeshadow..my friend who is asian looks good in pink. if you wanna change something like drastically, go with color contacts if you dont like dark eyes. hope this helps!

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who do i make my self/appereance look more attractice without looking like a whore ? help me plz

im glad you dont wanna look like a whore...that look it out! well for basics- stand up straight, smile, be posative, and just be nice...people will naturally notice you that way. if you want to alter your appereance (bored with same old u) try something different with your hair like a new cut or style. hairbands and things like that are easy changes. if you dont wanna look like your trying too hard, wear a gloss and mascara and a soft-color eyeshadow. for clothes, try some new colors and trends. i recommend aeropostale...they have some cool clothes and they dont make you look like a whore. hope this helps

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why was my question deleted? I just wanted some opinions on what colors would be a good combination..That is advice...Please don't delete this until I can find out exactly why this happened when I asked a question...

well this question will be deleted by mods in about 5 seconds but ill answer it... pink/orange, pink/purple, black/blue, yellow/lime green, baby blue/light pink. thats all i can think of.

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My friend Tiffany always be having sex and I'm worried about her. she might have another kid and have to put it up for adoption. or she might get AIDS. I don't want that to happen. should I let her get hurt? or try to talk to her and help her?

wow. well you cant choose what she does and she will make that clear when you try to talk her out of it. gather all the info you can get about aids. tell her what the kids will grow up thinking..."my mom was 15? and her bf was either bob, tom, or jeff...im not really sure." thats gotta be traumatizing. tell her that when shes older, guys wont want a girl that has already had kids who are god-knows where. you gotta be pretty stern with her because she didnt learn the first time. just stick by her and if she has any more kids dont tell her "i told you so" just let the guilt teach her something.

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My friend has been acting really weird lately ever since her mom started going out with her new boyfriend. She jumps back when people move to fast towards her or swing their arms near her like she thinks they're going to hit her. She's also been waring clothes that are really baggy which isn't like her at all. I talked to her about it and she started crying. She told me that her mom's boyfriend has been beating her and even raped her. He told her that if she tells anyone or tries to runaway he'll kill her mom. She asked me not to tell anyone but I hate seeing her being treated like this. I want to go the police but the thing is he has a lot of money so if they do arrest he can just get out on bail and then go after her. She's really scared of telling people and I don't want her to get hurt anymore. What can I do to help her she really needs help but she's afraid to get it. Is there anyway that I can get her help without her mom's boyfriend finding out about it?

ok do not put yourself in a dangerous situation. tell you parents and have them go to the police so this low life doesnt go after you. you should get all the evidence (pictures, gyno exams). there are laws that dont let him get bail especially when it puts people in danger so please get a way to tell the police. dont let this happen anymore...if he raped her..imagine what he could be doing to her mom. let me know if you need anymore on this..

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