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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England



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advice

iam 14 and in the 9th grade and I want to do more than just hug and kiss my boyfriend.Is there any other things that i can do besides hug and kiss my boyfriend?I know that there is sex and iam going to do that if that's the only other thing i can do i just want to get closer and if i do have sex iam already on birth control becouse of my messed up period and iam going to use protection.what can i do besides hug and kiss my boyfriend?

You don't just have sex because there's "nothing else to do"
You're 14. There's PLENTY of time to do that.
Experiment with kissing - so it doesn't get boring. Or if you really wanted to, go a step forward and use your hands/mouth to stimulate his penis.
However, you still need to take precautions. Sti's can still be contracted via oral sex.
Noone can stop you from doing these things, but thinking you are ready to yourself isn't good enough. You have to KNOW you are ready. 100%.
But good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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I was just wondering if it was bad to straighten your hair every-day? I never do that since if i washed my hair and straightened it I`d leave it like that for two days, and then wash it again. So i just wanted to know if it will damage your hair to straighten every other day or every two days. My hair is pretty straight but it's frizzy, so i just wanted to know.

I straighten my hair every day. Yes, it's damaged, but I hate my curls, so it's all I can do.
Of course, straightening your hair often is bad for yours too. Make sure you use a quality shampoo & conditioner. and use heat protection spray if possible.
Maybe twice a month, purchase a nourishing hair mask. Ask around instores if you cannot find them. I use a coconut one and the oils restore the moisture in my hair :)
Basically, just look around and try to prevent your hair from becoming damaged and split.

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can someone please tell me the name of this song and/or who is sings it?

your everything i want
your everyhting i need
your everything inside of me that
i wish i could beyou say all the right things at exaclty the right time ..

please help if you can, sorry it's a kind of old song

It's actually Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon.
Not Horizen as other columnists have previously said. :)

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Ok so I have recently been attracted to this boy at my school. He left my school and is now going to another school. We used to talk almost all the time, and sometimes used to flirt. I like him and im pretty sure he likes me but I cant tell. Should I just ask him out on a date and see if he is interested or just wait and see if he comes on to me?

Why wait?
Be brave and just go for it.
Great if he accepts and it all goes well.
If it doesn't, his loss. :)
It's all about trial and error.
If you never ask him, you might never know. :)
Good luck!

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after i wash, blow dry, and straighten my hair the good smell of my shampoo is gone. how do i keep the smell of my shampoo in my hair longer?!

I have the same problem. I have to straighten my hair as soon as my hair is dry and that takes away the smell of the shampoo and conditioner.
To make it smell better than burning (!), I add hair serum/balms/etc :)

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i need help with getting my husban to want to kiss again we are young and have 2 kids but he says he forgot how because when we where first together i was to shy so we just never have kissed so please help me out

You've never kissed your husband, yet have managed to have sex and produce 2 children?
Yes, okay.
Learn to correct your spelling and grammar. Then come up with a believable story where we can actually give good advice. Stop wasting everyone's time. and why don't you go ask your husband.

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What happens when you take pain killers just for emotional pain?? What will happen?? will it make me feel any better? I'm just wondering before I take it.

thanks

Pain killers are intended for physical pain.
I doubt they'd be much use for emotional pain..

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I was exposed to a person for about half an hour in a closed room yesterday, today they're in the hospital with Meningitis.
I have a really weak immune system.
What do I do other than load up on ColdFX?

Loading up on ColdFX won't help you anyway.
To put your mind at ease, call a doctor and explain. Chances are you'll be fine. But if you do happen to have it, catching it early is the best thing you can do. Meningitis is serious and can be fatal.
If you feel you really are at risk, get yourself checked.
Good luck.

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hi, well whenever this guy that i dont like goes and talks to this girl, which is just my friend, i get really jealous. this guy is sort of my friend, but i really dont like him. i get jealous soo easily, i hate it. any advice?

He's "sort of your friend, but you really don't like him"
I'd love to help here, but it doesn't seem to match up.
You're probably feeling jealous because you could be hiding the fact you DO like him. OR
you don't want your friend to like him/become friends with him either.
Talk to your friend about this if it really bothers you that much. I know, jealousy seems like an awful thing, especially when people can't really help it. You need to control yourself. Think WHY you get jealous. Is jealous even the correct word to use? How about annoyed?
This situation is quite simple really. You can either stay away from them when they talk, join in with them, or just grin and bear it.
The last 2 seem like the most polite to do.
But do as you feel. :)

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so i had this boyfriend that i met through my bestfriend. they had a fling. but it ended. and he turned to me. i really actually grew to love him. but we broke up for a week. that is when i found out that my "bestfriend" asked him back out. and he couldnt say no. i felt like it was because im terrribly ugly or something. because shes kinda sorta pretty. then he dumped her for me. and we went out for about a month. keep in mind hes 2 years older than me. i thought we were really happy. like hes really sweet. he told me that he wanted to marry me and actually proposed(with a ring from a little toy dispencer it was so effing cute!) he said that he planned on spending the rest of his life with me. and he wanted to have kids with me. but all of a sudde a couple of days ago, he said that he tought that we needed a break. but this isnt a break up. like he tells me that he loves me still. and that we will bw together again. but he keeps talking to my "bestfriend". like telling her that he loves her too. and stupid shit like that too. but he told me today that he wants me to wait for him. like wait a week for him to collect his thoughts. but i dont know if i can wait. what should i do? advice would be greatly appreciated. im 14/f
thanx all

Seems to me this kid is having a laugh. If I were you, I wouldn't stand for that. Far too many times the "wait for me" situation has popped up and let me tell you, it's not pretty.
You obviously really like this person. and he's making it a whole lot worse by building up false hope.
He said he loves you. Then tells your best friend he loves her. It's not on y'know?
and speaking to a 14 year old about marriage and children is a little far fetched don't you think?
If I were in your shoes, I'd sure as hell tell him to do one.
Harsh, I know. But if you show no interest in him, he MAY realize he misses you and things MAY work out a second time round.
You could also try talking to him. and telling him all your feelings. There's not much else you can do. He knows how you feel and it's basically up to him whether he'd want to be in a relationship with you again.
But for now, I'd focus on other more important things, like your other friends, education and basically having fun.
and if it does work out a second time, GOOD LUCK.
If not however, move on. You're young and you have plenty time to find a boy who will appreciate you as you do to him.
Hope it all works out as you want it to, though. Best of luck.

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is it wrong for a 15 year old and 18 year old to be together? he's still in school yet and he just turned 18 in august? is that still bad?

It has nothing to do with anyone else.. so long as you're happy. I don't see a problem with a 3 year age gap even if you are 15. People are maturing much quicker now. So good luck! :)

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When I started playing field hockey, I had to take our my earrings. So for field hockey season (about 2 months) I probably only wore earring for about a totaly of 4 days.

Now, it's over, and I've started wearing earrings again. I JUST took them out, and my ears hurt so much! They are red, and I KNOW that they are infected badly!

Does anybody know any thing I can do to make this better? I need all the advice I can get!! (Home remedies would be so nice :)

THANKS!!

If I were you, I would clean the infected piercings with salt water 2 times a day.
and whenever you're not busy, add some salt to hot water (not boiling) and soak a cotton wool pad in it. (the more often, the better) Then just hold over the piercings for about 15 minutes. It's worked when I took a piercing out too early before and it was on the verge of becoming infected.
Good luck.

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Well, im not ugly, But im not the prettiest person in the world.i just feel ugly.How do You be pretty, I mean those girls witht eh pretty eyes and guys are all over. how do they do it? anything is apreciated

Somehow, I don't think it's looks that always win people over. It's personality. and confidence. and seeing as you're not very confident about yourself, it's making you think you're less prettier than others.
Don't put your self down and exaggerate what you do have already :) You can't MAKE yourself model like looking! But you can experiment with make up etc. Seeing as you're on a downer, if I were you, I would go out and buy some new makeup/accessories/hair cut etc and try out different looks which you feel comfortable in.
Noone should be made to feel ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. :)

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Ok so this is really a question but also advice.
So there’s this boy in my Church group and I think he likes me but I’m not sure.
This one time (the first time I laid eyes on him) he kept smiling at me. And even when he knew I was looking he was still smiling for a few moments and I did too. But then looked away. Then later he asked if he could trade spots with the guy next to me so he could “talk to the other guy next to him” the guy said no though. But anyway, today I came in and I all the seats were rounded in a circle and so I walked in and there was a seat right infrount of me. It looked like all the other seats were taken. And it was right by him. I don’t know if he was saving a seat for me because his stuff was there and he moved them when he saw me come in. But I’m not sure. So then I sat down. And he actually started talking to me. and he asked me "Is that liipgloss?" he was mentining my keychain that had lipgloss on it. and I answered "Maaaabey" beacuse I thought yes sounded to cheesy and no sounded well rude and whatever. he smiled and said "can I use some? I need some" he said joking ly. He was smiling I could tell he was joking.so I'm like "yea...sure!" I said sarcasticly with a smile. at that moment I liked him. also his full attenetion was on me smiling. Then the teacher told me I got to go o the trip friady. "your going?" he asked. then said cool. he put his hand up for a high five So i highfived him. He asked me questions and asked if he could see my phone. Then I cought him once or twice lookling at me. And I’m not sure but I THINK I saw him put his foot near mine. But I was looking up, but I think I saw it at the end of my eye but I’m not sure. So mabee that doesn’t count.later when I was bored I forgot about the lipgloss convo and put some on. "So it is lipgloss!" he said jokeingly. I smiled. " you know I still need some." he said then laughed. I laughed too. So does he like me???

Well, this guy is certainly interested in you, seeing as he saved you a seat and is making conversation with you alot!
Seems to me like he wants to get to know you more and either wants you as a friend, or quite possibly something more.
Carry on as you are with him (talking etc) and if you like him, it could be worth asking him to hang out etc sometime! (If he doesn't ask you already)
Best of luck.

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Which person is you in the picture?

Haha, the weird one at the front pointing.

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ok listen i have a real question and i might sound strange but i am fourteen and i got my first period a month and 13 days ago and still no second period. why? is there something wrong with me? and should i tell my mom? help! (sorry bout the long question by the way)

No, there is nothing wrong and there's absolutely no need to worry :)!
You've just started your period, so it's bound to be irregular.
It can take a while (years) for your period to regulate properly.
Be careful for when you do come on though because it may be unexpected. Could even be weeks/months from now.

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i heard that you shouldn't go to bed with wet hair..
how come?

Well, obvious reasons are it being uncomfortable and could cause your hair to become majorly tangled if you don't brush it thoroughly beforehand! Other than that, I don't see why it could cause any damage. Anyway, it's not like anyone would go to bed with soaking wet hair..
and I doubt very much it can cause illnesses. Perhaps make you cold. But not give you a cold. That's a myth. :)

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Sorry...this is kjinda long Im just really upset and confused and I need serious help!

Well...this past Saturday was homecoming. I wasn't planning on going. My best friend and I go to the same school and we were going to do something else but last minute changed our minds because of two guys.

We're sophmores now and my high school is so big that you meet new people every year in your grade that you would never imagine beind friendly with. Well, this year my best friend happened to have some classes with this kid Adam. Adam's in a band with another kid in the sophmore class and the third guy in the band goes to a different school in another town but knows a lot of people from our school and etc..

So...we had a day in the beginning of the year where we had an all day assembly and just a free day at school. Me, my best friend, Adam, and some other kids all hung out and talked and joked around and all. I had known Adam from the previous year but never really talked to him. I knew about his band and all and my best friend had started talking to him first. She said he was really cool and he likes all the same stuff as we do. She said that he said we could sell merch at some of their shows and stuff like that. So he knew who I was. Later on that night of the day of that school assembly, I got a message from Adam on myspace saying that he really liked my best friend and that he wants to go to homecoming with her and that his friend Matt [who had seen my myspace and knows about me and my best friend from Adam and us wanting to help out with the band] was really into me [i guerss just from seeing my myspace and seeing how all of our personalities go together great because he's obsessed with blink 182 with Adam and grew up with them as did me and my best friend.] So I told my best friend and she said that she wasnt really into Adam in that way just as a best friend and said that Matt seems really sweet and that I should get to know him. Matt is the one guy in the band that goes to a different school.

So...later on he messaged me on myspace saying "so I hear you're the girl of my dreams...we should all hang out sometime!" It was really sweet abnd maed me smile. I guess its not every day a guy finds a girl just like him. So...I continued talking to Adam on aim helping him with my best friend a bit and we really get a long and became really good friends as did my best friend and him.

They both paid for homecoming tickets for us and we went on Saturday. A couple days before homecoming my best friend asked Adam if Matt liked me and he said "well Matt said shes already awesome and perfect and we love the same stuff and if shes awesome in person ill like be in love lol".

So...Saturday came around adn I was so nervous. I had never met Matt before as did my best friend. We met up with them t the school and they both got us flowers and it was really sweet. We hung out most of the night and had a good time. We talked a lot and just joked around and whenever we got up or moved around, Matt would always make sure I was by him and he was really sweet.

As the night ended and everyone was outside waiting for their rides, we were talking and joking around and his arm was around my waist. It was so cute cause he was so sweet and amazing! Then when I had to go with my best friend to go home...she went and hugged Adam and I turned around and it was SO close for me to kiss Matt and it seemed like he was ready for whatever. but I guess the moment was SO QUICK that before I could figure out what I should do I just went into hugging him and he kissed my cheek then me and my best friend walked of and said bye. As we were loking for the car, Matt yelled BYE ARIELLE and I smiled. Then we got in the car and my best friend got a text message from Adam saying WE HAD A RAD TIME! and then thats it.

What my problem is, is that Matt didn't even message me or anything afterwards. Just yesterday [monday] I messaged him to ask him what time his show was on friday [cause his band is having a show on friday and they wanted us to sell their merch and stuff] and he said "dooors open at sixxx! but you guys could come earlier to help us set up the merch and stuff." then I said back "OKAY WELL BE THERE!=]"

He didnt say anything else. Ive been screwed around by guys a lot and hurt. Im not picky but I like guys who like the music i like and can go to concerts with me and are sweet and thats exactly what he is. Im really confused and sorta hurt. Why wouldnt he say anything to me like message me and say "I HAD FUN! I REALLY LIKE YOU!"?

And not to sound stalker-ish but when i saw him answer my message i went to his myspace and saw if he answered any of his comments that people left him saying like HEY MATT! or HEY I SAW YOU TODAYYYy!! and he didnt answer them so idk if he doesnt talk a lot online or what.
So one side of me says ...oh this is great! I like him! then the other side says....i dont wanna even get happy over it and i just should forget it cause he probly doesnt like me and then Ill be even more heartbroken.

I dont know what to do! I havent talked to Adam yet cauuse i dont see him in school all the time and stuff...maybe i should talk to him on aim or something and see if he brings Matt up...

Im not sure what to do or think of feel. Im hurt and SO confused. I dont know why he wouldnt talk to me afterwards or say something or anything!

Can I pelase have some advice on the situation...I like him alot but i dont know what to do.

I can see why you're upset about this situation. It's not every day you find someone who likes you and you like back just as much.
If I were in your position, I obviously wouldn't want to be messed around. Noone would.
The most obvious thing you can do at the moment is ask Matt straight out if he still likes you. and you should tell him you like him also.
If you find it too hard to say it face to face, again, leave another message for him on MySpace.
Just saying something along the lines of you had a good time before and you're really looking forward to the gig. Or you can't wait to see him because you feel you both connect in ways you thought weren't possible. That way, it will give him time to think of what to say back. and he will know your feelings for him.
Perhaps he's shy too talk to you himself? Or as you've said, he doesn't really get enough time online to chat to people. If he has a mobile and you don't have his number, perhaps ask Adam for it and randomly txt him and ask how he is - y'know, general chit chat. Or, get Adam to ask Matt if he still likes you. It's best if you just go for it.
Because 1. If you don't, you will never know.
2. It could be he just isn't sure how you feel and he doesn't want to ask himself?
3. You will feel a whole lot better, trust me. Even if it doesn't work out the way you want to, you'll still feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. :)
Be brave!
I hope it all works out great for you. Let me know what happens.
Best of luck!

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what are you favorite bands and what kind of music do you listen to?

Hmm.. not really advice, is it?!
I like many bands. Could say i favour the indie/alternative/electronica side though.
Eg, Ladytron, Cansei de ser sexy, Tom Vek, The scene Aesthetic, The rocket summer, all the obvious ones everyone should know about, and oldies, like Pixies and stuffs.

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If you had a choice. If you had to choose between studying for a really important test or helping out a friend in need. What would you do?

Depends how important the test is. If your grade really mattered, eg, for later on in life, test should come first.
But also, it does depend on what happened to your friend.
Anyway, there's always time for both, so needing to put one of them off shouldn't be an option. Help your friend and then go and study!
Hope all works well. :)

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