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FemaleLocation:
MidWestOccupation:
Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
I hate the way she looks, the way she chews her food gives me cold chills just wanting to smack her in her face. I hate the way she is bipolar and takes pills to help and soon has she gets off I have dreams about how I could kill her. How she makes me do shit she doesn’t want to do! I fucking hate her!!!!!!! I don’t care if she brought me in this world, she going to make me, take my self out of it. If it doesn’t have anything to do with her she doesn’t want to talk about it! She a cyber whore cause she can’t get anyone in person other than my fucked up step dad! If she on the net I could be dieing and she wouldn’t even take her eyes off the computer. She makes me so fucking depressed!!!!!!! She is the reason I need someone to talk to and I have thoughts of killing myself! She even make my little brother want to do the same thing ......I fucking hate her... tell me how to stop hating her
You sound so full of anger is almost frightening. I understand completely what it is like to live with someone that has bipolor disorder. What you need to do is understand more about the disorder and what kind of things are common with people that are "untreated" or not being treated effectivly. Honestly it has nothing to do with you. Killing yourself will not solve anything, because with the right help...there are brighter tomorrows. Please understand that no one can "make" you kill yourself but you. Once you are aware of how much pain this woman is causing you, you need to do something about it. She can't stop...she is sick..the things she is doing is the illness talking, not the person under the illness. Please seek the help of a counselor so you have a person to talk to one on one. Trust me, there's so much information out there on bipolor disorder a qualified counselor will be able to help you.
When i was in junior high (im a hs senior now) i would get random chest pains on my left side of my chest. I didnt think that it was possible (is it?) to have 'heart attacks' or anything similar when you were around 14 years old so i never really had it checked. I guess im just wondering if it's something like a heart attack or something different? Because i get it randomly, sometimes while im walking around or walking up the stairs or just suddenly sometimes.
Well, it's not impossible for a teen to have a heart condition that could cause your symptoms. Many times things like this go undetected because with normal Dr's visits the doc isn't looking for heart problems. We often hear of young athletes that suddenly drop dead during a sporting event. There's many things that can cause chest pain, but by far problems with the heart would be the most serious of all. It would be a good idea to be checked by a Dr. If it's nothing serious then at least you will have some peace of mind and the pain just may go away on it's own.
I'm a 19/F in my first student house, and I'm living with (gasp) four boys. We've got a really sweet arrangement going between three of us where each of us is responsible for dinner two nights a week... it's great because it means you spend less time cooking, and we're like a little family eating dinner together every night!
The thing is that although I'm a good cook and make up my own recipes all the time, I'm kind of short on interesting ideas for what to make for us. Does anybody have any cool, inexpensive recipes that will serve 3-4 people? The only real restriction is that one of us doesn't eat spicy food.
Thank you!
Hi, I run out of ideas cooking for my family of six sometimes too. I also manage an assisted living and help plan the menus, thats a difficult task because the people there won't eat anything that is not traditional midwest farm food! I did order the free Kraft cookbook, and it has some really good easy recipes, which I see that they have online. You might try checking that site:
http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf
Another idea is to plan a themed meal, such as Mexican one night, Italian the next and so on...
I also like to use the Bisquick recipes like "impossible cheesburger pie" it sounds a little weird but it's really good!
Sometimes I get Ideas from Food TV, although they use ingredients that most of us wouldn't have, I use subsitutes, the cook that I like to watch the most is Racheal Ray. Her recipes are easy and quick.
well I dont actually know if i have ocd or not
i have wierd little obsessions and if i dont fulfill them i feel sick and really paranoid.
I have to clean tables perfectly and arrange everything on them do its up against a wall or the back edge
I have to unplug absolutely everything before i got out or got to bed or even leave the room
I when i give someone a ' high five!' ii have to do it twice so its equals exactly ten
When i write things in my diary i have to write things in exactly ten repetative steps..
I have to write exactly 10 kisses in my diary .
And if i see a plug socket where there is nothing plugged in although the switch is on , i cant stand it and HAVE to turn it off..
Once i put the phone down i have to push it ten times to make sure ive put it down correctly..
Please help, my friends have pointed out on it and i dontknow whether i do actullay have ocd..
all advice much appreciated xxxxxxxxxx
If the "sick and paranoid" feeling inhibits your quality of life you should consult a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis and treatment. While these things that you do bring you some relief, it is only temporary until you are faced with the next obsessive impulse. In otherwords, there is no way you can ever be completely happy living with these feelings. Even if you could learn to feel content and just go on with things the way they are, you'd probably drive other people crazy which in turn would affect you also.
As far as having OCD or not. No one here can properly diagnose you, but I can tell you that you have symptoms of OCD. Please seek help, your happiness depends on it.
Ok my boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship and it’s really hard sometimes, we get to see each other 1 time a month and I am pregnant with his kid. And he Never I mean Never believes me about anything!!! I have a friend that is 15 and I am 18 and she thinks she pregnant and her mom knows her password and everything so I let her use my name! And my boyfriend thinks it’s me! Me 15 haha and I am already pregnant. So for a few days he got really pissed at me! And wouldn’t tell me why! And I found out its cause of my friends question she posted! He checks my email and everything! I know his email but I trust him and I ask him stuff before I get pissed over it!! What should I do! I don’t need to be depressed I am pregnant and there is no way I can just leave him, please tell me what I should do!!
First of all, change your password and don't let him have access to your email account. Tell him to do the same. To make any relationship work, there has to be trust. He shouldn't be checking up on you.
In addition, don't let your friend use your account either. Tell her to go to Yahoo or Hotmail and create a new one that her Mom doesn't have the password to.
Tell your BF that you intend to be mature about this matter, and will not be upset or depressed any longer. Then explain the part about the TRUST. If he remains angry at you for something you didn't do, he has two choices...get over it and never bring it up again, or to move on. You say there is no way you can leave him, but you shouldn't have to live with his anger either.
I am at breaking point with my mom. She does not accept the woman I love, with whom I have two sons. This problem is damaging the lives of my family as well as my father and brothers. She twists events to the point of complete fiction and twists them in such a way that we are terribly victimizing her. In truth, knowing her condition, we have taken great care into our dealings with her and have always welcomed her in our lives. Somehow, my partner seems to sit in the wrong way, not greet her in such a way as to appease her, not call enough, not come from a nice enough family - the list is infinite. She doesn't believe that our intentions are pure. My partner has continued to try, despite the fact that she will never be accepted and that she will always accidentally do something wrong - but she has reached the point where she has spiritually given up - she can never show her real self to my mother again.
My mom creates massive drama around every important event in life - from the birth of our son, the completion of my PhD, moving into my first home - they have all been spoiled because of her fiction drama. Everyone in the family knows she has lost her mind, but everyone is afraid to confront her - and rightfully so. If you don't agree with what she says, then you are the enemy. So, she creates this fake world, people try to pacify her and we grow more distant. I am at a loss for what to do. I could talk honestly with her - a strategy which has never worked in the past, or I could keep trudging along trying to be nice and to serve as a bridge between the most important people in my life. My last attempt at honesty resulted in her listing off further transgressions on our part and her continued inability to understand any other viewpoint. Unfortunately, I have reached the point where I am too angry and frustrated to continue this much longer. I'm not willing to lose my mother – despite all of this, she is a very loving and good woman. However, I am afraid that I have no reasonable options to pursue! Any advice would be very appreciated.
Male, early thirties
Your situation sounds very frustrating, and I believe you are in the most difficult position of all. You say you are not willing to give up your Mother, but I wonder what would happen if you allow yourself to Let Go? Letting go does not mean to stop caring, but what it does is to deny your Mother the right to emotionally blackmail you and your wife any longer.
You may have to give your Mother ultimatums, in which you need to be prepared to follow through on.
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
I have a puppy. She pees on the floor constantly. I just got new white carpet. Does anyone know how to get the stains and smell out?
Also, she smells. I wash her like once or twice a week. She made the whole living room smell. Does anyone know how to get dog just smells out of the room. I mean I've tried everything.
Thanks!
To neutralize stains and odor from urine, you need to use an enzyme based cleaner. Bissle makes one that can be used for pet odors in a steam machine, the pet store has several brands of these type of cleaners. Another one that works is Urine gone that you see on TV. Try blotting the carpet rather than rubbing which will push the smell and stain further down and into the pad.
Keep the pup in a crate to housebreak her and don't let her run around the house without going outside first. There are many articles online regarding housebreaking with a crate.
My husband bought me a dog when we first got married, I loved this dog more than anything in the whole world..time passes me and hubby got a divorce and I moved.. that living situation didnt work out and I asked my Ex to take care of my dog for a few months for me (I knew he would take good care of her) anyways, I just found out that he gave Precious away! He gave her to his brother and his brother's wife -the wife, which hates me more than anyone on the face of the earth! What can I do? She was not a pure breed dog so I have no papers on her of that kind. I do have all my papers from vet visits with my name being on the reciepts as the owner. I also have TONS of picutres of me and her from the last 5 years. Do I have any legal rights or should I plot to steal her back? This woman never took care of her dogs and you could always see there rib cages. It is breakin my heart that my dog could possibly not be fed or showed the love she needs. Please just offer me your opinion... my heart is breaking! P.S. I'm married now and can provide her all the love and care she could ever need.
-Missing Precious
Hello,
To determine legal recourse you may have to define 'a few months' was it three or eight? You could take him to small claims court if he broke a verbal agreement regarding the time he would keep the dog for you. Did you provide support for the dog? If so this would certainly help your case too. If it didn't appear that you would ever get the dog, or let's say he kept him for a year or over the time limit you specified and he provided all the support, it's doubtful you would win the case, but you could try and all you'd have to lose would be the filing fees...unless of course he counter claimed for the support of the dog.
If in fact the brother/sister-in-law are neglecting their dogs turn them in to animal control or the humane society. If they remove your dog she will be placed up for adoption, and you could adopt her.
You may believe that these people hate you, but perhaps if you called and asked they would give the dog back. Offer to 'buy' the dog from them. If they need the money they may just agree to sell her.
hey my name is ellen and my son justin who is 19 years old and he is teaching sunday school at church,but I just found out he he and his girlfriend tessa had unprotected sex about a month ago and there was a big hickey on his neck what should I do?
I want to help me so so bad but when I confronted him about he got mad at me and now he won't speak to please help me help my son thankyou iam really worried.
Hello Ellen,
Your son probably appears angry with you because he is embarrassed. I do not know many 19 year old males that will discuss personal matters such as "sex" with their Mothers. You did nothing to cause this behavior in your son, and it sounds as if you certainly wouldn't condone such behavior. It is normal to be worried as a Mom, but in reality the situation is out of your control. Just let your son know that you love him no matter what, and pray about it and let it go. If the girl becomes pregnant, you can choose to help or not, but really the bottom line is they will have to deal with it. You have a choice.
I was woundering,
can you breed fish in a 10 gallon tank?
and if so what fish would be the best to breed?
I wasd thinking anglefish but I dont know if the eggs will survive.
and also, How can I keep the eggs alive?
I am going to have diffrent breeds of fish of corse I will ask the clurk or a guy at the store if they would get along first. and if they do. Will the diffrent breed of fish try to eat the eggs?? I also dont know how to sepperate the other breeds if they DO try to eat them. and my last question.-
who should stay with the eggs?
I know the mother should. But should the father too? (if there's any othjer info i should know about breeding fish please let me know)
Try breeding swordtails or mollies. They have their babies (or fry as they are called) live They are fairly sturdy, but will need a filter, a heater and a breeding net that attaches on the side of the tank, or floats on the top. When the female is about ready to deliver you will know by the color and you can place her in the breeding net. Once the fry are born you should remove the female. When the fry are big enough, you can place them in the tank with the other fish. There are many types and colors of swordtails, they will cross breed and you can end up with all different variations. More females than males is recommended to start with. We had so many little fry, we finally allowed them to deliver in the tank. "Survival of the fittest" If you have plenty of plants and cover on the bottom, a few of the fry will survive. If all the offspring survive you will need to sell them or give them away or there will be too many for a small tank.
http://animal-world.com/encyclo/fresh/livebearers/swordtails.php
I'm only 2weeks pregnant. I'm a young expecting mom, But I have a great way to work this out.
I'm living with my boyfriend (He has a job & goes to college) and getting help from my parents and my boyfriends parents. Its all working out pretty good.
I clean houses as a little job, right now. My boyfriend doesn't want me to have a real job.
I'm already picking out names, and going to baby stores looking clothes, you know. Its early but its fun to hangout with my friends.
But I'm afraid of being a bad mom to this child.
What will this child think when it may find out I didn't want the them at first, That i needed help to raise them from my parents?
I should be able to raise a baby, I took the chances of getting pregnant by having sex.
its my fault.
You have the normal "I have a lot of responsiblity to my child" anxiety. Most expecting mothers have doubts such as you. Pregnancy is a difficult adjustment. Having a good parental support system is a positive thing. Don't be ashamed that you need help from your parents, and the baby/child won't think anything of it. In a few years you will be doing it all on your own anyway.
Although having sex, and getting pregnant are tied together (obviously) not everyone who has sex is ready or able to care for a child. Don't consider it a "fault"...a child who is unplanned isn't automatically unwanted. When you need help don't be afraid to ask, and don't let pride get in the way.
are there any other options given for pain during labor other than an epiduaral? i am really not wanting an epiduaral becuase of the fact that it enters through the spine, and i am so scared that theres a chance i might end up paralyzed for an inkling of a mistake. if there are any options, how are they administered? any help would be awesome. thank you so much in advance.
Almost all pain medication or anesthesia are not without the potential for side effects. You could select injectable narcotic pain medications when you are in the mid to late stage of labor, but there is always a risk that it will slow down the unborn infants heart rate, and may slow your labor. In reality, it's only going to take the edge off the pain, and it will not help much with delivery.
Another option would be a pudendal or paracervical block (injected with a syringe to the vaginal and or cervical area) shortly before delivery, this is generally safer than most analgesics or anesthesia, but you should discuss the risks with your physician anyway. For the most part this will help with the pressure and pain in the peri area during delivery.
http://www.lcanesthesia.com/labor.html#local
Another option would be to use "hypnosis" or a biofeedback type pain control. I know an OB doc who used this on his patients with great success.
His patients would recommend it over medication any day. I believe it would be the safest method of all.
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/birthplan_hypnobirthing.html
Well, to start off my dog has been living with us for 4 years now and I myself am the youngest member in my family. Whenever I go near my mom, say MOM, or hug her and such, my dog gets REALLY jealous and dictates my mom eventually. I find it interesting and funny but anywhos, is this normal? =P
Dogs aren't really capable of the same emotions humans are, so what seems like jealousy to us, is probably not how the dog feels. The way your dog is acting is not completely abnormal, but it is also not desirable. What you are describing are the symptoms of an unbalanced dog. This tells me that the humans in the household have not taken the roll as the pack leader. In that case, since dogs are pack animals the dog will automatically assume that roll. The majority of dogs don't want to be pack leaders, they prefer to be followers. There's always more followers and only one leader in the pack. However, in a human & dog pack, all the humans need to be leaders, or they will assume a dog heiarchy for example, persons a & b may be leaders, person c may be a follower, therefore the dog will submit to a & b, but be dominate over c.
It order to claim your Mom, as your Mom, and not a submissive pack member that belongs to the dog..you will both need to work on your canine leadership skills. It's what the dog wants, trust me.
http://www.canineconcepts.co.uk/ccp51/cc/dog-behaviour/packleader.shtml
my spine hurts. It feels really agile & easily feels hurt.it feels sort of out of place and like it has a kink, & needs to like be cracked. Maybe someone can help...
If you had an injury please see a physician or a chiropractor. If the pain limits your daily activities it would be best not to wait.
ok so here is the thing, me and my best friend(both girls) can talk about anything...but her and her loser boyfriend have been on and off for the past year. She told me after the broke up the last time they were done for good, well they have been hanging out a lot, and she told me that they have been having sex. I really don't care that they have sex, but there not going out anymore. She told me that she doesn't want to do the whole friends with benfits thing, but everytime they start kissing it leads to sex. I've tried to tell her that if she doesn't wanna have sex then she shouldn't kiss him cuz she knows what it leads to. But she doesn't think when they have sex thats it's her fault, but it both o there fault. How can I make her underdtand that? Any help would be amazing!
It's sad, but your friend will just have to learn her lesson the hard way. There is no way to force people to understand these kind of things. All you can do is ask her to think about what you have said the next time she feels like giving him a kiss, and leave it at that. If it helps, I agree with you :-) too bad your friend doesn't.
Can dogs be allergic to other dogs? Is that possible?
I am wondering why you are asking? No, dogs cannot be allergic to other dogs, but they may be allergic to shampoo, flea prevention or other topical solutions that are on the other dogs coat.
My dad got a rat terrier puppy from a lady that was having to move away. I cannot stand dogs. They're too hyper and stinky and so unintellegent because nobody around my community has trained dogs. Every time I walk outside I get jumped on or he tries to bite my shoes or something. Or he's humping one of his toys. I'm so tired of it! My parents expect ME to play with him. Why should I? It's my dad's dog, not mine! It's not my fault Dad is never home to play with him. How on Earth am I supposed to share my yard with that stupid dog? Please help me out!
Gee...I see a lucrative business opportunity. I am studying to be a dog trainer. You could too!
Look, it's not the dogs fault that your Dad is never home either. If the dog stinks give it a bath! Rat Terriers will chase feet and shoes as people walk because it's in their nature, they were designed to kill rats. If the dog humps objects or even jumps on people, he is trying to say "no one here is smart enough to be in charge, so I will be the pack leader." He thinks you are unintelligent (and he doesn't even know you can't spell unintelligent).
My suggestion is, educate yourself on dog behavior and training. You can learn to like him, or at least tolerate the dog. Take the dog for a long walk at least 45 minutes each day, and he won't be as hyper and will be easier to train. You will also bond with the dog this way.
Consider yourself lucky that you have a Rat Terrier, and not a Pit Bull Terrier because I doubt you could handle a dominate dog that is also physically strong.
http://perfectpaws.com/whytr.html
http://dogbreedinfo.com/ratterrier.htm
My wife and I had a 4-month old Maltese Pooh. My wife took Motita to Petsmart for her first haircut; and at that time, Motita was fine, in good health, and happy. A little more than two hours passed, and when my wife returned, she was met with scared employees. Once she was given the dog, she knew why. Motita was frightened, disoriented, and in shock. About 30 minutes later, Motita started to bleed from her nose and mouth. Thirty minutes later, while my wife rushed her to a vet, Motita passed away. I have my ideas, but what are some of the possible causes of her death?
My sympathy for the loss of your dog. I do have to disagree with a couple of previous posts. Dogs who are frightened do not automatically bleed from their nose and mouth. My guess is that the dog had a congenital (I say this because of the age) blood clotting disorder such as Von Willebrand's disease. While the clippers (and pressure from the clippers) did not cause external wounds or bleeding, it could have been just enough trauma to cause internal bleeding in a dog with this disorder. It would make sense that the trauma would have been the greatest against the ribcage due to the normal anatomy (lack of muscle and fat)--therefore causing the plural space to fill up with blood. The blood exited through the respiratory system via the nose and mouth. In a small dog, even minor blood loss can cause shock type symptoms, obviously you couldn't see how much internal bleeding there may have been.
As far as neglect on the part of the groomers, it is difficult to say. If the dog was dropped or fell from the table and a rib punctured a lung, symptoms such as you describe could have presented themselves without a blood clotting disorder.
If the dog had genetic disorder that no one was aware of and that was the main cause of the bleeding, it would not be the fault of the groomer.
Without the proper diagnostics from the vet, or a necrotopsy, you may never know the actual cause.
The breeder or owners of the parents should be alerted in case something crops up in other offspring.
My dog is about 9 years old and a male. He pees on the carpet and tile about once or twice a week. Most of the time its when we are at home. He is nutered and all of that and we already took him to a vet to check for a bladder infection.
It's good that you took the dog to a vet to rule out physical illness, that should always be the first thing to do. Sometimes older dogs start to lose bladder control and really can't help it when they have an accident. Since he is only doing this once or twice a week, you still may be able to prevent accidents in the house.
Sometimes there can be a connection to the type of food he is getting...kidneys act as a filter you know. So something simple you should try is changing to a good quality food that is made for senior dogs. Also make sure the dog is getting enough exercise to keep his muscles strong. Try cleaning up the spots with an enzyme based odor neutralizer, because when dogs smell the urine (even if you can't) they are inclined to go in the same place again. You may also want to gait him in the tiled area until you can correct the problem. Take him outside on a schedule--don't wait for him to ask to go out. It will be similar to potty training once again. He may just be developing bad habits, and it's never too late to break them.
Best of luck!
hey im a 13/f
what should i do for my birthday party??
i dont have a pool or a trampoline or anything and i just need some ah-mazing ideas please and thankyou!
Set up a volley ball net and play volley ball, cook on the grill, put on your favorite music, play group party games. You could watch a favorite movie and have pop-corn. If you don't want the party at your house invite everyone out for a movie, skating, bowling or to an arcade.