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Hi! At this point, I'm just checking back when asked a question. When my life gets less hectic, I'll start browsing to find questions to answer. But please ask; I will answer within 24 hours.advice
is being a vegetarian a bad thing?? my friends think it`s like being anorexic or somthing!
Nope. Being a vegetarian isn't bad. It's one of the many different ways that people choose to decide what to eat. Some people are Kosher, some people eat macrobiotic, some people eat vegan. It just depends on what makes you feel best.
Many people get confused when talking about "diet" because they associate the word with trying to loose weight. "Diet" is a term that means "what you eat". A person on a vegetarian diet might be trying to loose weight, or gain weight, or might not care at all about their weight.
No matter what style of diet you choose to follow, you need to keep an eye on nutrition. There are very few diets that require vitamins (fruititarianism is the only one that I can think of off the top of my head). Many people take vitamins "just to be sure", or because they don't want to pay attention to what their eating and taking a vitamin gives them a little more leeway in their eating habits before they get sick.
People are amazingly varied creatures, and one of the ways we celebrate our diversity is through the different foods that we eat - or choose not to eat.
hey, i need help really bad but i don't have anyone to turn to, and i really mean nobody. a while ago i "went through a depression stage" i guess you might call it, and it got really bad. i was builimic [sp.?] and i cut myself. [my parents and friends were compleatly oblivious to everything because i guess i'm a "good kid" and they never had to worry about me] i don't know how it stopped, but it just did. and now i think it's starting again, my parents suddenly decided we're moving and i feel like nobody wants me around, but i guess thats my fault because iv'e been pushing away the people that mean the most to me. i always want to be alone and i started keeping to myself a lot, like not talking AT ALL during lunch, unless someone asks me a question or somthing. when i get home i got straight to my room and cry, i don't know why though. and i started cutting myself again, i dug a knife into my wrist after dinner tonight and it bled and bled. i feel like i don't belong anywhere and i want to run away, but i don't know where i'd go or how i'd get far enough away from home. iv'e also sat on my roof after everyone in my house is asleep and thought about jumping off, but i really don't want to go to hell. i really need help [i'll "rate high" or whatever, just please help] -jeanine
I'm glad you found this site. Internet communities can be valid support systems. Your not alone.
Everyone goes through stages where they feel they don't belong, they wonder if anyone cares about them, and they just want to escape. What makes it a problem in your case is that these feelings are not occasional, but consistent, and they are interfering with your life.
An advice column can't provide the ongoing help you need. If it's at all possible, talk to a psychologist. Psychologists don't prescribe medicine, they're more like a trained advice columnist who can talk to you every week (or whatever schedule is decided upon).
Other options are support groups. Those are groups where a trained councilor will lead the group in talking about a specific issue. Google can help you find a support group for teenagers near you. Your school councilor can too.
Another option is talking to a religious leader. I have mixed feelings about suggesting it, but if your already part of a religious community, it may be the only free option available. S/he shouldn't make you feel guilty, or try to scare you. Most religious leaders do have some training, and some are quite talented councilors, but I think the bag is more mixed than with licensed professionals.
Sometimes parents are oblivious to even the most obvious distress signals. Sometimes, you just have to approach them. Ask if there is any way for you to see a psychologist. If they ask why, show them the wrist you cut and tell them "it wasn't an accident". That should wake them up pretty quick.
I have lots of pimples and well does anyone know any good good creams or anything like that. cuz i tried some and it didnt work I thougt maybe im eating to much chocolate and im not so please help I'm really pretty but with these pimples i feel so ugly inside. HELP i rate high
My sister and I found that ProActiv ( http://www.proactiv.com/ ) worked well for us. Neither of us used all 3 parts, we both used the cleanser, and I think she used the toner and I used the lotion, but it's been so long I honestly don't remember. I know I didn't use it every day because it was too harsh for me.
There are also prescriptions for acne if you have access to a doctor.
There are a lot of theories about what causes acne, and I'm not sure anyone really knows (although a lot of people claim to). No single medication works for everyone. You'll have to experiment to find out what works best for you. It's important to give each thing you try enough time - nothing will work overnight. Also, many acne products make your skin more sensitive to the sun - don't use more than one of those at a time without a doctors supervision.
Good Luck!
alright, my friend is gettin really paranoid. he keeps thinkin that there might be "side effects" from masturbation. he's 15 and he says he's like addicted to bangin himself. so are there any "side effects" from too much masturbation? if so, what are they?
thanks
"side effects"? nope.
It's possible to be addicted to sex, but I seriously doubt that anyone would try to apply that sort of criteria to a 15 year old. I mean, at 15, several males I know admitted to masturbating 2 or 3 times a day, and even the females I knew admitted to masturbating nearly every day. I know I was. :)
He doesn't have to worry about it being bad for him unless it's a) interfering with his life - like, he feels the urge so strongly that he has to ask to leave class to "go to the bathroom" to masturbate b) causing injury to his penis. I've never heard of males injuring their penis, but I have heard of women rubbing themselves raw, so I suppose it's possible for men too. (and honestly, using the inside of your wrist, and/or lube, should solve that)
Tell him to relax, masturbation is a totally normal part of human sexuality. Ask him what side affects he thinks there might be, and we can shoot them all down. :)
i was wondering when a baby's unblilical cord is supose to heal and what age i should start bathing them at..thanks
Usually the umbilical cord falls off within the first few weeks, although sometimes it takes longer.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?id=PR00046
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/127.html
I'd wait at least a few days after the cord falls off before giving them a normal bath. It's not like a baby gets dirty or smelly. (other than in their diapers, or dribbled down their chin, but both of those should be wiped up right away).
My room is purple. I have a couple things hanging from the cieling an a really cute bed spread. I want some more ideas on how i can make it more decorative. Like what kind of stuff i need on my walls mostly. What colors i need, and stuff like that. i have carpet now, but i want hard wood floors. shoudl i get a light colored wood, or a dark? shoul di put a rug over it? a small on in the middle? or just leave it uncovered? I have no idea what to do i just want my room to be really cute. Please make any suggestions, i could use ANY help that you willing to give weather its a little thing or big.-->ME!
If you are going to get a hardwood floor, I recommend a rug that runs most of the way from the bed to the door. Because waking up in the middle of the night to go the bathroom and stepping on a freezing floor isn't fun. :)
Things to keep in mind: predominately dark colors will make a room look smaller, bright colors will make it look larger. Make sure you don't forget about where practical things that belong in your room - like your clothes - are going to go. If the floor and the walls are about the same amount of brightness (or darkness), you'll probably want the decorations and highlights to be opposite of the that.
For instance, if your walls are deep royal purple and you get a dark hardwood floor, you'll probably want the rug and the bedspread to be light colored - like like a pale spring green, or lavender, or pale pink. If the walls are lavendar, you'll want to use darker colors - like deep red, royal purple, or midnight blue. contrast lends interest to a design.
I really liked the stencil idea below as well. Purple makes me think of grapes and vines, although I can also envision a more abstract border, like with triangles and circles in various colors at odd angles.
Good luck!
I really wanna make cookies but i have NO EGGS!! does anyone know a substitution besides going out to the store and getting some??
Eggs help make the cookies "stick together", but it is possible to make cookies without them.
http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-0,eggless_cookies,FF.html
has a listing of several types of cookies that don't contain eggs.
I cheated on my husband for over a year it all stared because he had slapped me and I couldnt forgive him. He tried everything to get me back and I was being a bitch and unwilling to hear anything he was saying. After a while I came to my senses and wanted my famly back, but now he can't forgive me for the affair, but he has recently started seeing someone. Its so confusing because we have a daughter together and even though hes been seeing this other person we have still been sleeping together and now I'm pregnant again (its his) Now he's telling me to be patient and that he hasnt been speaking to her anymore and that she hasnt been coming around, but I don't believe him. I really want to save my marriage and I don't know how to go about it. We dont live together and I just want to be at home with my husband and daughter. What should I do?
If at all possible, you should both see a marriage councilor. It would probably help to each see a councilor individually as well.
It sounds like there are several issues here. The big one is trust. marriages don't work without trust, and it really does take a long long time to build it back up. The other issue is violence. Without conscious effort on the part of the person being violent, violence escalates. The pattern for abuse is violence, begging for forgiveness, a honeymoon period, and then worse violence than the first time. A third issue is that it sounds like your blaming yourself for the whole problem. You both made mistakes.
The mistakes that both of you made will take years to patch up, and even then there will be scars. But with a lot of work from both of you, it's possible to save your marriage.
If at all possible, get yourselves to a marriage councilor. If that's not possible, many religious leaders will offer similar services for free to members of their congregation. A word of caution with religious leaders - if they suggest it was ok for him to slap you - run. It's not common, but it happens. *Both* of you will need to make compromises, admit you were wrong, forgive the other person, and really work hard at making the relationship work. you need to be patient, but he needs to be making progress too!
Best of luck.
This is a serious question, so please don't joke about it. I know it's long..but if you read it, I'll really appreciate a decent answer. My friend and are both 13 and female. Yesterday at lunch my friend wasn't eating. She usually doesn't eat lunch, but I hadn't really caught on until now. I asked her why she wasn't eating and just said "I don't know". I asked her when she had last eaten a full meal and she said it was about a week ago! Only a couple of her close friends know this, but I was the most recent one to find out. Why aren't her friends doing anything about it? I've been thinking about it all yesterday and today. I had a long chat with her online last night about it and she answered some questions that I asked. One: I asked her (again) why she hadn't eaten in the last week. She told me it was a way to relieve "stress". She also said she thought of doing this, since it is better than cutting herself. Her parents are divorced so she says to one parent that she eats at the other house and vice-versa. Basically our whole lunch table knows this about her, so one of my friends buys her a snack everyday. We try to make her eat it, but she just turns her head and shuts her mouth. She said that she won't let it go that far. I told her that this is going to become a bad habit for her and she needs to start going back to her regular eating before it gets worse. I never would have expected this to happen to her. She's not fat (and she doesn't think she's fat either), she's NEVER sad (always happy and hyper), I just don't know. I know I have to tell someone about this. But I didn't think I would ever be in a situation like this. It scares me. She told me not to tell her parents or anyone else. I want to tell so badly..but at the same time, I just want to let it go! If I tell, I'm so scared I will lose her as a friend. I need someone to help my friend and me. Please.
Your right, this is a very serious matter.
Is there an adult at school who could call one or both of her parents and say that it has come to the attention of someone at school that she's not eating lunch? I'm thinking the school nurse would be a good candidate, but if your school doesn't have one, a favorite teacher or a councilor might be able to help.
You could also write a letter addressed to her parents with no signature or return address. The benefit of a letter is that you can get help from the other people at the lunch table (you don't have to do it alone).
Please do find some way of notifying a responsible adult. Make sure you mention that she said that this was the way of dealing with stress that she thought was the least harmful.
Good Luck.
Me and my boyfriend have been havin sex for about 10 months now and before him i had only slept with 2 people. Out of all the times i've had sex, I've never had an organsim. Is that normal? I mean don't get me wrong, it feels really good, but sometimes after about 20 or so minutes it feels the exact same and it gets a little old. But I still like it. Is there anything i could do to change alla that? i mean i wanna have orgasims, i wanna know what they feel like, i just cant seem to get there.
Unfortunately, yes, it's normal for women to not orgasm during sex. Less than 100 years ago, respected doctors were arguing over wether or not it was even possible for women to orgasm.
Fortunately, the feminist movement has laid to rest the controversy and millions of women have declared "Yes, it's possible. It just takes a little work".
You will need to experiment. You can do this by yourself, masturbating, or with your boyfriend. I suggest a bit of both. I don't know how accurate it is, but I've been told that most people's first orgasms are the result of masturbation.
Things to try: oral and manual sex (have him use his mouth and/or his hands), waiting for penetration till you think your going to burst, positions where there is clitoral stimulation.
If your boyfriend requires more than 20 min of penetration to cum, you may want to use foreplay to help reduce his stamina. (learning to work your vaginal muscles and clenching is good here too).
Good luck!
Ok last night while I was laying in bed( iwas awake) I could of swore I heard that kind of music that is in the background of horror movies. I thoght I was dreaming so i sat up, but then when i laid down and I closed my eyes i saw this weird red and white symbol and I heard this vocie talking to me. Sat up real fast because i was so freaked out I have no idea what the voice said to me. Help! I think I am insane or something!!!
It's ok, your not insane. :)
Red, black, white, and yellow are common colors to see when you close your eyes. Circles are also pretty common things to see.
Sometimes we start to dream before we're asleep (especially if we're really stressed out or over tired). Sounds and smells are the most common, but sometimes people see or feel things too.
It's ok. If it happens enough to make it difficult for you to get a good nights sleep, you can talk to a doctor about it, but I wouldn't worry about it if it only happens on rare occasions. :)
Yay!! I am so excited. I'm going to get up at 5 am before school every day and go to the YMCA and workout! Once I get ready and my parents take me there, it'll be like 5:15 am and i'll workout until like 6-6:15 am. Do you think that's long enough to get a good workout? I was thinking of running on the treadmill at like 7 mph. Should I just do that the whole time? I know I should do weight training but can someone give me some good machines that most Y's have and exercises and how many reps? I am a gymnast so I need to intensify my workouts. Should I use the treadmill for like a half hour and then go on the bike for 20 minutes? Then like 5 minutes for weights? So i'd get done at 6:10 am, then call my mom or dad to come pick me up and while I am waiting I could take my shower before school.. I CANT WAIT.
running on the treadmill will help you burn fat, but I got the impression that's not what your trying to do. I get the impression that your trying to build muscle.
If your Y has machines, and not free-weights, they should also have instructions with them. Common machines are the bench press, the leg press, the leg curl, and lat pull. Arm curls are usually done with free-weights.
Use the first day to figure out what they have and what weights you want to use, but don't try to do a workout that day.
For the machines, to determine what weight you want to use, start out on what you think is a very light weight, and see if you can easily do 5 reps. If you can, move the pin one lower (one additional bar of weight) and try 5 more reps. When you get to a point where the first rep isn't difficult, but the 5th rep is, remember that weight. (it should be at least 3 heavier than the weight you started at) It's the one you will start out with. On workout day, do 5 reps at that weight, two at one heavier, and 5 cool down reps at one weight lighter. As you get stronger, you can increase the number of reps. When you get doing 8 reps at the heavier weight, turn that into your "start" weight. This method should work on any of the machines.
Try to find a variety of machines that work different parts of your body. You'll know what they work by what's warm when your done. :) At no point in time should any exercise hurt! (This is especially important to note about the back - many exercises when done incorrectly will strain the back.)
You can also ask your gymnastics coach for advice on which area's to target for muscle building. :)
there's this guy i like and he likes me too but he wants me to sneak out to go to his house tonight and hes kinda under the impression that i'm going. but im afraid to get caught. can you help me find an excuse to "change my mind?"
How about telling him the truth?
"I really like you, but I'm afraid that if I sneak out I'll get caught, and I'm not willing to deal with the consequences of being caught. Maybe we can go see a movie on friday?"
This assumes that you can indeed go to a movie on friday. If not, or if movies aren't your thing, suggest something else. The key is to suggest something that you don't have to sneak around behind your parents backs to do.
I believe this question should go under Relationships -> Love Life
I am trying to get a background on starlightmks.com and on my site thing it says background by starlightmks.com but it wont show up! does any one know what i am doing wrong!
I did not find any background images on starlightmks.com, although I didn't look all that hard.
Where are you trying to put the background up at? Do you mean that you want to put a background on your advice column? Or do you have a website somewhere else? (or maybe your trying to sell something on ebay, or use yahoo/geocities automated site builder, or about a thousand other things)
We need a lot more information before we can help you. It might be easiest if you just asked the question again and included the following information:
1. What are you trying to put the background on? The best way to answer this is to make the page show up, and then copy everything in the address bar (it will start with http://).
2. When you go to change the page, what do you do? Possible answers to this question are: a) I open Front Page b) I go to yahoo.com and click on geocities c) I log into advicenators and click on the "column settings" link
3. Where is the picture you want to use as a background? If it's on starlightmks.com, can you tell us which one it is? A URL (the thing that starts with http://) is best, but I'll do my best to find it if you give me some clues (like, when I get to starlightmks.com I click on "something" and then it's the third picture down in the middle frame. :)
I look forward to solving this with you. :)
I guess the subject line says it all. I constantly flip-flop between Christianity, Atheism and Buddhism. I like a little of all, and I can't seem to choose one faith. I always change my mind. Is there something wrong with me? Am I flaky? It's just that a faith is an important choice, and I'm afraid to make the wrong one.
I like all three, but I know I have to pick one.
What should I do?
A group that might be able to help you are the Unitarian Universalists. They usually have a church or two in most cities, although they tend to have small congregations. They accept that there are many paths to the divine and that no one (including themselves) really has it all right. :) They attract people from many different backgrounds who are unhappy with the dogmatic approach of other churches.
http://www.uua.org is a good place to start. :) The faq at http://www.uua.org/aboutuu/uufaq.html might also be helpful to you.
As a side note, I'm generally pagany like, and not a UU. It just sounds like they might be helpful to you at this point in your journey. :)
hey im terribly surrering from being overweight for about 1 year. ive tried many diets and other formulas and none of them helped! what should i do?!!!!!!!!
What you should do depends on how old you are and how overweight you are.
If your under 25 your still growing, so you need to be very careful about cutting back drastically on food (other than junk food). It's never unhealthy to cut out things like soda, chips, and candy. It's called "junk food" for a reason. Seriously cutting down on nutritional categories like "carbs" needs to be done carefully, especially if your still growing. If your under 25 and want to try a diet like that, please consult a professional (a doctor or nutritionist). I suggest taking a multi-vitamin if your going to make any drastic changes in your eating habits.
Eating regular, well balanced meals is essential to loosing weight and keeping it off. Let me know if you want more information on eating healthy. If your more than 20 lbs overweight, you will probably need to change your eating habits to loose weight.
If your only 10 or 15 pounds overweight, I think your best bet is to add regular exercise to your daily routine. When you get up in the morning, do 5 min of stretches and pushups/crunchies. Repeat after dinner but a ways before bedtime. Three times a week (for starters) try to get in 30 min of jogging, swimming, bike riding, or other cardiovascular activity. Cardiovascular activities are the ones where you breath heavy and your heart rate goes up.
Also, keep in mind that there are different body types. Make sure your goals are realistic.
Good Luck!
Ok, all day I was thinking how I thought i started my period. Then I came home and I went to the restroom and there was blood and also on my thong. But it was all dried up and I thought maybe it just happened just I started bleeding and like there was barely any blood on my pad and what the hell this is my 1st time so I have no clue...did I start or was this just a 1 time thing? Please and thx 4 reading this!
13/f!
Unless you injured yourself in that area recently, you've joined the ranks of menstruating women. Congratulations. :)
Many women start their periods with thick dark brown blood. Even if the blood started out red, if it sat in your underwear all day, it would dry out. Don't worry about that.
I don't think you have anything to worry about if there is only a little bit of blood in your pad. I do suggest that you continue to use pads (and not switch to tampons) until your period has evened out enough for you to make a good estimate about how much your going to bleed on any given day. That quite probably will be a few years.
Some women are like clockwork from their first period to their last. Most women have to deal with erratic (random seeming) periods at both ends (puberty and menopause). Don't worry if you only bleed a tiny bit for a few days, and then 3 or 4 months go by before you get another period. It's normal. Because it's likely that your body will surprise you, it's probably a good idea to carry around a panty protector in your backpack.
If you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to ask. :)
Congratulations. May your years as a menstruating woman be light on pain and full of successes.
hey. my best friend has this problem. her parents wont let her go onto this website because of so block thing that my best friends other friend gave to my Best friends mom. she likes this site. and wen ever shes at my house shes on it. how should i help?
If the site is specifically blocked due to direct action by your friends mother, you really can't do much of anything. Your friend can try to talk to her mom about it, but I'm guessing she already has.
If the site is blocked automatically, then I suggest your friend sit down with her mom and they look at the site together. If there really isn't anything objectionable on the site, it should be possible to "green list" it (unblock) it in the software. If her mom does object to something on the site, they can discuss what her mom has a problem with and why.
There isn't anything you can do, other than to be sympathetic and offer advice to your friend, because it isn't your problem.
See, I think I have OCD, and it really bugs me. It's starting to interfere with alot of things. Like when I pray at night, I feel the need to repeat some lines several times, and I always have to have my TV remote facing a certain way exactly, and all this other stuff, it's really bugging me, I have talked to my parents about it before but they don't really seem to get how much it interferes with my life, because most of the stuff I do is behind their back, like rearranging stuff and whatnot...
What I want to know is do any of you have OCD and what are some of your symptoms (if you feel comfortable sharing)? And where did you go to get tested for it, if you're undergoing treatment what kind and is it helping? Thanks so much if you help, I will rate if it's good advice!
Thx
Ronlina's advice seems sound to me. I just wanted to add that what distinguishes you from the other people who posted is that you feel this is causing a problem in your life.
Even if you did the exact same things, if they weren't causing a problem, you wouldn't need to "fix" them, even if they were considered a bit odd.
Good Luck!
okay i had this friend and she gave me ur barbell to use and now that we are not friends she wants it back..but the thing is i told her i would give it back thursday before break and she never showed well now she is saying all this shit like o0o0 im getting pissed because your not goin to give me my barbell well...i kind of thru it away well ne wayz she said she was goin to kick my ass i really dont care but i just want her to go away and stop buggin me...she is a freshman she cant do ne thing i mean im a junior...what the hell...so what should i do??? PLZ HELP
It doesn't matter if she is or ever was your friend or not. You borrowed something from her, and if you can't return the item, you need to replace it. Fortunately, a barbell is unlikely to have sentimental value and likely to be easy to replace.
Social status has nothing to do with this, it's a matter of personal integrity (being a good person).