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My friend isn't eating!
This is a serious question, so please don't joke about it. I know it's long..but if you read it, I'll really appreciate a decent answer. My friend and are both 13 and female. Yesterday at lunch my friend wasn't eating. She usually doesn't eat lunch, but I hadn't really caught on until now. I asked her why she wasn't eating and just said "I don't know". I asked her when she had last eaten a full meal and she said it was about a week ago! Only a couple of her close friends know this, but I was the most recent one to find out. Why aren't her friends doing anything about it? I've been thinking about it all yesterday and today. I had a long chat with her online last night about it and she answered some questions that I asked. One: I asked her (again) why she hadn't eaten in the last week. She told me it was a way to relieve "stress". She also said she thought of doing this, since it is better than cutting herself. Her parents are divorced so she says to one parent that she eats at the other house and vice-versa. Basically our whole lunch table knows this about her, so one of my friends buys her a snack everyday. We try to make her eat it, but she just turns her head and shuts her mouth. She said that she won't let it go that far. I told her that this is going to become a bad habit for her and she needs to start going back to her regular eating before it gets worse. I never would have expected this to happen to her. She's not fat (and she doesn't think she's fat either), she's NEVER sad (always happy and hyper), I just don't know. I know I have to tell someone about this. But I didn't think I would ever be in a situation like this. It scares me. She told me not to tell her parents or anyone else. I want to tell so badly..but at the same time, I just want to let it go! If I tell, I'm so scared I will lose her as a friend. I need someone to help my friend and me. Please.
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Sorry to tell you this but shes your frined you can't let her do this to herself. I know it will not be easy but she really needs help right now if she wants to admit it or not. She's having a tough time getting through life right now and some good friends. So be a good friend to her and if yopu decide to tell someone offer to go with her for moral support. Just be really supportive to her and she'll come around.
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Hey hun i am going threw the same thing only me n my friend both arent eating so i can tell you how she feels. You need to keep talking to her bout it make her eat. its not good for her to just stop eating.. she is gonna end up really sick if she doesnt. My friend has been shaking alot n i have been getting dizzy n headaces. We have both started to eat at least one full meal a day. and we have a lil snack now n then. If you want tell your friend to im me (xiloveyoux35) or email me (lildevilchic35@yahoo.com) i will be happy to talk to her about anything.. so yeah i hope i kinda helped... if she wont atleast eat one meal a day you are gonna have to tell someone.
Much love
Jaymi Lynne
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Tell an adult shes not eating that can turn into a very serious problem...she could end up having to go to rehab if she becomes annorexic too bad. And just because shes happy and hyper on the outside doesn't mean thats how she feels on the inside.
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hey, you should really tell some1 this person could get sick or get realli bad. once you tell someone (a teacher or better her parents) than they can help her. if she is mad at you she is not a true friend but she cant say mad forever.
~hope i helped~
britt xoxo
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This is very serious and can turn into something like anorexia. If you don't get help for your friend fast then she is definitly going to end up getting very sick. She is losing a ton of nutrients from her body and she is losing muscle too, because when you don't eat your body eats away at muscle, then fat. So maybe you should go to a school counselor and tell her what is going on. Then she can tell your friends parents and tell them that she had noticed that your friend wasn't eating at lunches. at least then the parents will know and they can do something about it.
You need to do something about this quick before it becomes a habit and your friend can't stop.
You can also tell your friend to go to a counselor and talk out your problems to relieve stress instead of not eating. Well <3 ya! i hope i helped!
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I just read the advice given by the four before me and they give some good ideas.
You and your friends really need to get together and make a decision about your friend who is not eating. This is a problem that is far beyond you. Make an appointment with a counsellor at school. Talk with him/her about the problem and ask him/her to please not contact the parent(s) yet until you've had a chance to talk with your friend. Granted, counsellors are obligated to talk with parents, but not until they talk with the student first. You could go to the parents, but that might feel like the extreme betrayal on the part of your friend. Whatever your decision is, it's probably a good idea that you do it with the other friends; strength in numbers will help. At this point, you cannot force her to do anything, but you can ask an adult for help.
Keep in touch if you'd like -- I'm a mom, too.
shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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~*~*EDIT*~*~
Hey in response to the feedback. Do you two have any classes together? If so, and you have more than one, then after class one day ask the teacher if you can talk to him/her with your friend, but totally confidential because you don't feel comfortable talking to a guidance councilor. And if the teacher says yes, then tell that teacher what's going on, if the teacher says no... well that's why I sent anonymous e-mails to about 5 different teachers, and the one's that wanted to respond could (2) the one's that didn't want to respond didn't have to (3) because I let them know I was sending the e-mail to more than one person. Ummm, if you want to talk or give me more information on the subject then seriously, e-mail me Maniac_Munchkin@yahoo.com or Bull_Dawg_BAbii@yahoo.com. All you have to do to talk to guidance (at least at my school) is go to the guidance office and either fill out a paper, or just see if the councilor is free. Usually you have to check in with a teacher before going to guidance, but it might be different where you go to your school. If you want e-mail me with the info on the whole 'anorexia?' thing going on.
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Well if she really doesn't want a parent to find out, then DON'T tell guidance, they will HAVE to call home. Tell her that if she doesn't tell an adult YOU will. Tell her that you're giving her until the end of the week to tell an adult, if she doesn't, then starting monday you will find a trustworthy adult. BUT when you or her or both of you talk to the adult before saying anything make that adult promise not to tell anyone what's going on. Back when I cut my wrists and stuff my friends told me that if I didn't tell someone they would. So I told a teacher about it, and she was lots of help. The only bad thing was before my 3rd period I was telling my friend about a convresation me and that teacher had, I didn't know that my 4th period techer was behind me. So by fourth period my teacher noticed the scars and told guidance, who told my parents. So tell her if she doesn't tell someone that you will. First you can go to guidance and say you know someone who is doing that to themselves but you want advice on what to do, and that no way no how will you inform them or the parents who it is unless it gets more serious then it is. Ask a teacher if you confide something in them and ask for help that they won't tell anyone otherwise you won't confide in them. I don't know how well it will work. Or at least tell your friend that you will tell someone if she doesn't eat during mealtimes when the two of you are together. And make sure she doesn't go to the bathroom after that meal time because you don't want her to throw anything up, or at least not for a while because as long as she gets nutrients and stuff into her system. Just seriously tell her that if she wants you'll go with her, but if she doesn't tell someone by the end of the week you'll take matters into your own hands. Then ask her what teacher she'd be comfortable with knowing (or just say you'll tell her parents) and ask that teacher if you can confide in them. Or send the teacjer am ampmy,pis e-mail, just copy and paste what you told us into an e-mail, don't sign your name, and ask then what you should do. Good luck with everything. I was anorexic for over a year, it isn't a cool thing. I was almost bulemic, but after the first 5 times of throwing up I thought just not eating would be easier. SO PLEASE, DON'T HESITATE TO ASK ANYTHING!!! My e-mail is Maniac_Munchkin@yahoo.com or you can try e-mailing me at Bull_Dawg_Babii@yahoo.com I check the Maniac e-mail adress more often, but e-mail me on whichever. And please let me know how things go!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!! <3 Kate <3
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go tell her parents before she does serious damage to herself if you were her friend u would tell her parents because if she doesn't eat at all she might have health related problems if you just don't have the courage to talk to her parents then talk to the school nurse and ask him or her to help you out and talk with your friend about the consequences of starving herself
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i know you dont want to tell anyone..but you have to..this could go far even if she says its not..dont force her to eat though...even if she gets made at you,you should still tell..would you rather have her mad at you or asking for your help when shes on her death bed...this is REALLY serious!!
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Your right, this is a very serious matter.
Is there an adult at school who could call one or both of her parents and say that it has come to the attention of someone at school that she's not eating lunch? I'm thinking the school nurse would be a good candidate, but if your school doesn't have one, a favorite teacher or a councilor might be able to help.
You could also write a letter addressed to her parents with no signature or return address. The benefit of a letter is that you can get help from the other people at the lunch table (you don't have to do it alone).
Please do find some way of notifying a responsible adult. Make sure you mention that she said that this was the way of dealing with stress that she thought was the least harmful.
Good Luck.
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