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My boyfriend smokes weed and it really bothers me. I know it's HIS life and I shouldn't tell him what to do, but I don't want him to mess up his life. I know people say ciggs are worse then weed, but weed can still give you cancer. I don't want him to die I just want him to STOP doing drugs so I don't always have to worry about him. What can I say and do to help him stop smoking weed? (link)
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You can't change a person. They'll only change when they trully want to--for themselves. Yes, you are right it is his life--but you are now a part of it so you DO have a right to voice your opinions and concerns. Especially if he does it around you or in front of you--he is putting you at risk. That's not fair. Instead of telling him what it's doing to him (he knows) why don't you tell him how it upsets you, worries you, and makes you feel uncomfortable. If he has any wits about him he'll 1. stop doing it around you and 2. try to stop for himself. Rather than bicker, explain. It is more effective. It might touch him more. Also, if you really can't stand it and he isn't willing to even compromise, try giving him only one option. But just remember, be sincere. :)
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me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and he doesnt let me go and see my guy friends. and if i talk about another guy he gets really jealous. and if i bring up the subject he says if you were in my shoes you would understand. how do i tell him that he needs to be less protective and not as jealous without makeing him flip out?? (link)
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You tell him exactly what you just said. Tell him straight up. You should never let a guy (or anybody, besides your parents, of course) control you or make your choices for you. You are you for a reason. Just sit him down and really explain to him how he's posseive ways make you feel. Be open and honest. As long as you are just hanging out with your friends--nothing more, he has not reason to tell you no. Yes, he could feel jealous, that's natural. It sounds like what y'all need is more communication and trust. Tell him that it's pushing you away that he's acting like that and it hurts you that he won't trust you enough. Explain that you understand where he is coming from and wouldn't be crazy about him spending time alone with another girl--so compromise. Hang out with your guy friends in groups, or with 1 or 2 more friends--or even bring your boyfriend. Just be calm and mature and you'll get through to him. :)
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I don't know if this goes here.....but....anyway...
I was listening to Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take the Wheel" and i was wondering...
is there an explanation to why people's lives flash before their eyes when something bad is about to happen (like the accident in the song)
I have always wondered about that!!
Thanks in advance~ I RATE (link)
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This really ins't a question with a straight answer. Everyone's opinion will vary. To me, I think often that happens because when you realize your life is that close to being over, hundereds of thoughts and experiences that were looming in the back of your mind come flying at you--so to speak. Just like sometimes before you go to bed at night, your mind drifts to thinking about happy times, bad times, or simply what you did that day. The whole life flashing before you sistuation may present intself to you because something in your head "clicks". Who knows. Hopefully you don't have to learn the reason from personal experience. :)
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okay something has really been bugging me lately. i always, always feel like i'm invisible. it's like this .. whenever i'm hanging with one of my friends and other people come along, i turn invisible. people leave me out of their conversations all the time. i feel like i'm just a substitute person or something; like, i feel that most people hang out with me until someone "better" comes along. and you wouldn't believe how many times people have said to me "omg i'm so sorry i forgot about you!" people i've met either forget my name or forget me altogether and when i say hi they're like "do i know you?" it seems to happen alot. and guys always ignore me, even though people say i'm pretty, and i know i'm really not unattractive. i really don't see what's going on, i'm nice to everyone and i would never do that to anyone, but it seems like the mean people who ditch other people have more people talking to them and everyone wants to hang around with them. and i have a lot of friends, but i wonder why it always seems to happen to me. maybe i'm just not agressive enough, who knows? but i really need help on this one, like advice on how to become more noticed and less invisible. thnx. (link)
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Well, first of all, there are times when we all feel "invisible" or "ignored". If you don't like it, change it. I know sometimes that's easier said than done, but you can do it. You have to have self confidence. When you are confident (not cocky) and show it/believe it, others will too. This is the perfect time to really open up and become more vocal and outgoing around others. With the new school year quickly approaching, take advantage of becoming active in more groups and clubs at school--run for something. This will allow you to become more well known and involved. (Plus it looks good for college!) Another thing to try: tell stories. When someone brings up a topic about something, try telling a story about it. For example, if someone talks about a banana, you may have a story about one time you slipped and fell. People will laugh. They'll remember. Just be you. Yes, there are some people that blow others off and mistreat people, but I am sure you are start enough to know who your real friends are. People who "ditch" you when something better "comes along" aren't worth your time. Your integrity and who are you are your most price possesions. Be silly, be free, be you. Attract attention to yourself--not negative kind though. Once you do this, people will take notice on their own. Continue being nice. It goes a long way in the long run. And next time you feel down or ignored make a change. If you lack confidence, pamper yourself--and try putting sticky notes with positive messages on your mirrors. :)
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is there such a thing that you can delete a Question/Answer on your advice column? I really want to delete this one Question/Answer, but I dont know how... Is it possible?
Please and Thank You!
-volleyball2150 (link)
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To delete a response you have made to a question asked by a user, on the left hand panel, click on "Edit Answers", find the question. It will show you your answer. Deleted all of it, then hit Edit. It will show it as deleted then. Also, if you want to delete a question you have personally asked, click on your questions and then check the box for that question and hit delete. :)
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okay this is really gross so if you dont like gross questions, dont read this.
when i get my period, i have these like blobs of blood that come out ...and idk what i should do. it doesnt seem normal... =/ (link)
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They re just blood clots. Pretty much everyone gets them. It's no big deal at all. Yes, you may think it is gross, but we all have to deal with it. You are normal. :)
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Hi i am a girl and did not have her peroid yet :(
and i was wondering if i wore a tampon befor i actually had my peroidd would it hurt me or not? (link)
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Simply put, yes. It would be painful for you to put a tampon in when you are "dry". Wearing a tampon will not force your period to come faster. You can also risk damaging yourseld because you aren't use to it and you would be forcing it in. You're going to have your period for a loooooong time--don't rush it! :)
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Lately my stomach has been "growling" a lot. My mom told me it's because I'm not eating enough but I thought I was?
I eat like 3 big pieces of chicken. I have noodle soup. I eat two plates of italian noodles. I have a piece of pizza and some chips. And I'm full..
Do i have to eat more?
(link)
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Don't force yourself to eat anymore if you aren't hungry. Simple as that. Yes, sometimes your stomach does growl from being hungry, but also it can growl after you eat and it's digesting. Kind of like gas, I guess. Sometimes if you have to use the restroom (number 2) that is your body's way of letting you know. I don't think that there is anything really wrong with you, so it's not something to worry about. If the problem persists or you have other symptoms similar to this, then it could be a stomach/bowel/digestion issue. But other than that, you're pretty much in the same boat as anyone else. :)
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what is your opinion on a 16 year old girl going out with or liking a 14 year old guy. i turn 17 in may but this guy will be turning 15 in january. soo yeaaah..too young? i know it seems like it kind of but i have such strong feelings for him (link)
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The real question is: What is YOUR opinion and does it matter to YOU. You would be the one dating him. If you are comfortable with the age difference, then don't let a number hold you back. Yes, it is true that sometimes an age difference in two people can mean other differences, but if he's nice, and y'all get along, and have stuff in common then why not give it a shot? The thing to remember is to never pass something up because of a small preference. So, go for it. :)
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what are some jobs that i could do around a neighborhood ive already tried babysitting and that hasnt worked that well. any sugestions. o and my parents said i cant get a real job because im only 13. thankx (link)
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Well, because you are under legal age for working, your options are limited. Here are some things you may want to consider doing though:
-house sitting
-pet sitting
-car washing
-cleaning
-bake sale
-garage sales
-sell stuff on ebay (with parental help)
You may want to make flyers or put your name in a neighborhood magazine to advertise. :)
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Does anyone know where i can go to a website and put in my height weight and age so i can find out if i am overweight? (link)
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There are a few sites. Try: am-i-fat.com
It will tell you along what line you fall under. But just remember, it's okay to be a little over weight or under weight just so long as you are taking care of yourself and you are comfortable with yourself. :)
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is there a site where you can upload a picture of yourself and see how a haircut would look on you that you dont have to pay for or anything. thanks (link)
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Well, I haven't used this site in quite some time, but I believe you can do just that at:
http://www.makeoversolutions.com/
Also, if you have Photoshop you can make all sorts of adjustments to a picture.
If the mentioned site doesn't work out for you, just Google it or let me know. :)
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I have been friends with this guy since i was 12 im now 17 in the past year n a half we became really close to the point where he will stay at my house and stuff... he went to college but every weekend he would come home and stay here... I used to like him and i told him and he told me that he didn't wanna ruin the friendship and that he didn't feel the same way... One day we were layin in my bed watchin tv and we started messin around and ended up havin sex. It only happen the one time but now he like comes over more and we are always together and everyone thinks we are a couple but were not. All my close friends tells me that he likes me he just won't admit it and i don't kno what to do or think Help
sorry its soo long (link)
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Well, while it does sound like y'all have a consisten frienship, I think there might be a possibility that the guy may be taking advantage of just how much you are willing and care. I know in the past you have let him know how you feel and his response probably made you feel slightly rejected, but I think the best thing for you to do would be to try talking to him again. Express to him how you feel for him. Don't go over the top though and scare him. Just get your point across. Tell him you enjoy spending time with him, but this "couplely-action" is giving you mixed signals and not really fair to you. Especially since sex is involved, you are probably even more attached to him. Make sure that he is not taking advantage of the fact that you'll have sex with him. You need to ask him straight up what he wants out of this. I know it may be tough, but if doesn't want a REAL, official relationship with you, I would start to distance yourself from him. I don't mean y'all can't be friends or hang out, but don't do things couples would. It would be okay if it's what you both wanted, but I can tell you want more. And although you probably like that attention from him and the security of "having a guy" you need to clear this up before you get hurt. Good luck. :)
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your right. I mean whats the rush. It's just my friends all tease me because I haven't lost it yet and they have long ago, and i thought he'd be the right 1 to lose it to because hes really sweet. (link)
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I know it's tough when it seems like EVERYONE around you is "doing it", but you go at your own pace. Let them talk. If they see that you are comfortable and confident with your choices and self, they'll back down. Really sweet he may be, you give him sex at the ring of a bell, and that can all change. Just remember that. Just because your friends have already "lost it" doesn't mean it's the right time for you. Chances are, it wasn't even the right time for them. I know 20 year olds that still aren't ready! Listen to your body, heart, and mostly, HEAD. :)
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i want to have sex with my ex-boyfriend.I'm 14 and a girl. he's really shy and so am i and i still have feelings for him. we never really broke up. i moved and we stoped talkin becuz school got in the way and friends and we just never got around to it so we started dating other people or atleast i did. and now that I'm single i know that i still have feelings for him and i want to lose my virginity to him but i dont know what he'll want or how to tell him or anything! please help! (link)
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You may not like what I have to say, but first and foremost, SLOW DOWN. 14 and not dating. Losing your virginity is supposed to be something special. You only get one first time. SO many girls and GUYS take sex for granted. It's not a casual thing. And because y'all aren't even dating anymore, suggesting to have sex, will most likely throw him WAY off gaurd, especially since you said he is shy. Having sex with someone can and usually will completely alter the entire jist of a relationship. You need to make sure that both you and your partner are 150% ready with no doubts. I know it may seem like you really care about him and he's the perfect guy for the "job", but you are going to meet SO many other guys. I don't mean to preach to you, but the whole situation raises concerns to me. Why are you so intent on having sex with him? Merely for the fact that you have feelings for him? Do you think that will make him like you more or want to get back together? If so, he's totally not the right guy for you. Be with a guy that's going to respect you and want to just simply be around you. Don't rush into anything. Ultimately, only you are able to decide if you are going to go through with it, but make sure you are aware of everything that comes with it: Possible pregnancies, STDS, emotional and physical pains, parents finding out, a ruined reputation, a sex dependent relationship and so much more. Just think about it. :)
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I'm 13 and obviously female and this afternoon I started getting cramps. At first I thought it was just a stomach ache and maybe I ate too much, but it felt kind of different. My mom suggested that I was going to get my period soon, and I already had boobs, hair on my body, and discharge. 3 hours later, when I went to the bathroom I noticed a big dried up brownish spot on my underwear. There wasn't alot of it but it wasn't liquid. Could this be my period? I don't know because people tell me the very first time you get your period you dont have cramps and you don't get cramps until like the 2nd or 3rd time. I didn't feel any blood coming out either. Not to gross you out, but in a way it looks like dried up poop but in a really light brown color. (link)
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Put simply; it's your period. For the first couple of years of having a period your cycle and flow are going to be irregular. Brown spotting can be a period. That doesn't mean that this period is over, so to be on the safe side you should probably wear a thin pad or at least a pantiliner for protection. It could come more heavily in the days to follow--or maybe not at all. You just have to kind of wait around and see. Also, it is possible to have cramps your first time. So welcome to the world of womanhood. Try not to use a tampon the first period or two until you see what your flow is really like. :)
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Does anyone know where I can get quotes from the movies Vanilla Sky or Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless mind? .. Ive been looking and I cant find any. So if you know of any please let me know! THANKS! (link)
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Not just for this movie, but all movies check out the website IMDb. It tells you like everything about movies. Here's a direct link for you to your specific movie Vanilla Sky:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259711/quotes
and for Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/quotes
:)
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I have ben hurt many times by guys. Too many times! I always seem to fall for the wrong type, and I really mean the WRONG type! They all seem great at first but then the truth comes out. My ex-boyfriends have either been phycos, nymphos, mythomaniacs, cheaters or just plain assholes!! I have lost count on how many night I have fallen asleep crying! I thought I had given up on boyfriends and then my present boyfriend came along and seems really nice and all. Sure, he cheated on me once in the begining of out relationship but that's normal for me now, I guess that's just a thing that guys do so I have him a second chance.
So now we are together and I can't seem to be happy when I'm with him!! I'm just waiting for when he is going to hurt me and how he's going to do it!
When ever I try to picture our relationship in the furutre I see me crying over him because he hurt me really bad somehow....
I have seriously no romance in me anymore! My previous boyfriends have crushed that! They have made me into a depressing person. I used to me known as the "really happy and fun girl" but that was a looooong time ago!
I try, I really try to be happy with my present boyfriend, he is nice and all but I can't seem to get there. What is wrong with me?!?!
They have crushed my spitit, my soul and a few times my will to live :'(
please help!! (link)
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First of all, to your whole situation pretty much, I have totally been there. So I can actually relate with you. It is often times, that because of our past relationships and experiences we have gone through, we carry them--and the scars/impact with us wherever we go, and with whom we begin new relationships. And that's okay, to an extent. It is important to learn from the past and build/grow from it. Falling asleep crying is no way to go to bed at night. Relationships and love are meant to lift you up, not bring you down. Of course everyone makes mistakes. And you are bound to have arguements in a relationship. You should NEVER let someone disrepect you, abuse you, degrade you, or frankly, mistreat you in any way. You have ask yourself: If you had a daughter, would you let her or want her to be with someone that has treated you the way you have been? Of course not. We often forget what's best for us, because we are blindsighted from the perks of just simply being with someone. People deserve second chances, but not when you know there's going to be more times of hurt and pain. Your boyfriend cheating on you isn't acceptable. I know you have already made the decision of still being with him, but if you're not happy there is a reason. The fact that you are just waiting for then next big slip up on his part isn't any good. You shouldn't have to worry about that. You need to express to your boyfriend that you aren't happy. Simple as that. You need to tell him, that his cheating in the past has affect what you think y'alls future might entail. Ultimately, I can't tell you whether or not you should break up with him. Only you will know that. But what I do know, is your shouldn't be feeling like this. Find a guy that's going to make your heart do flips. A guy that is so sweet you almost think he's too nice for you. A guy that 10 years from now you'll say I want to marry him. Think about it. :)
EDIT/ADD-ON: I appreciate the complimentary feedback. Just remember, don't you ever let ANY guy (or even girl) bring you or tear you down. Be strong. Be free. Be you. Your will to live and the spirit that makes you who are is NOT depedent on a guy. :)
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ok well i have wavy hair and i streghten my hair every day with a hair streghtener and like an hour later its wavy again? is there somthing i can use that my hair will always be strait after i streghten it? and i have conair it was like 50 dollars at cvs (link)
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I have naturally wavy/curly hair as well so I use to have that same problem. I the best solution/tip I have for you would be to let your hair towel dry after you wash it for about 10 minutes or so. Then, take it out of the towel and let it air drive for about 5 minutes or so. It should sitll be wet, but not just damp, yet not completely soaked. Put a hair product like BedHead AfterParty in it. It isn't that expensive and is available pretty much everywhere. If you can afford a product that is a little more expensice, I would recommend Kiwi Blow Serum. Only apply a little bit of whatever product you use. Do not apply it to your roots. It will make your hair oily and greasy looking. Just put it on the ends and away from the roots/scalp. The blow dry your hair and brush it out. This will ensure you will have less freezies and a easier time when straightening. Just before you straighten you hair (It's okay if you hair is still slightly damp) either use a serum that contains silicone (ask at a hair supply place like Ulta) OR (and this is what I use) Biolage thermal active setting spray. Sprits some on around your hair. It is activated by heat and helps lock it in your look. Unlike hairspray, it does not flake on you, or make your hair feel stiff. Don't apply it close to your hair. Hold it futher back. After you astraighten you hair completely squirt some in your hand and comb with your fringers where need be. This should do the trick. The key is to not use a lot of product. Use in moderation. Do not use a silicone based product plus the thermal active spray. I would suggest (for best results) the kiwi serum (just a drop or so) and the setting spray. :)
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about the Q wit the breats she was wondering can she do anything about it without surgery maybe take pills or something she does it want to stay the way she it. (link)
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Yes, there are breast enhancement pills you can take to make your breasts bigger. But because one is already bigger for the reason I previously stated, you'll end up with larger breasts, but one will sitll be smaller. Just tell your friend that it is something ALL girls have to deal with. We're all in the same boat. Just wear a good padded bra, or a bra with gel inserts if she must. It's not a big deal at all. If some guy judges her based on that, he's totally not the right, repsectable type of guy. Embrace being a women. She is probably her own worst critic. Her perception of herself is harder and worse than what others think. She's going to be fine--without pills or anything. :)
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