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forgotten how to be happy in a relationship?
I have ben hurt many times by guys. Too many times! I always seem to fall for the wrong type, and I really mean the WRONG type! They all seem great at first but then the truth comes out. My ex-boyfriends have either been phycos, nymphos, mythomaniacs, cheaters or just plain assholes!! I have lost count on how many night I have fallen asleep crying! I thought I had given up on boyfriends and then my present boyfriend came along and seems really nice and all. Sure, he cheated on me once in the begining of out relationship but that's normal for me now, I guess that's just a thing that guys do so I have him a second chance.
So now we are together and I can't seem to be happy when I'm with him!! I'm just waiting for when he is going to hurt me and how he's going to do it!
When ever I try to picture our relationship in the furutre I see me crying over him because he hurt me really bad somehow....
I have seriously no romance in me anymore! My previous boyfriends have crushed that! They have made me into a depressing person. I used to me known as the "really happy and fun girl" but that was a looooong time ago!
I try, I really try to be happy with my present boyfriend, he is nice and all but I can't seem to get there. What is wrong with me?!?!
They have crushed my spitit, my soul and a few times my will to live :'(
please help!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all the reason you are expecting something bad to happen in your current relationship is because it already has! The trust was broken between you right from the beginning when he cheated. Forgiving is easier said than done. Although we may say we have forgivin someone and may even outwardly appear to have done so, the heart is a little harder to convince. Yes alot of men (and women) cheat. That doesn't mean it is normal or something you should just except. You said yourself you always seem to go for the wrong type of guy. Well you have to break that pattern. Is there some reason you think you don't deserve a good guy? Do you think you don't deserve to be happy? I'm here to tell you YES you do deserve to be happy!!! When you settle for less than what you want that's exactly what you get. Less! I think you need a little time off from the boyfriend game ( at least 6 months) to do a little soul searching. The only person who can make us truely happy is ourselves. Be your own best friend. Noone can look out for your own best interest better than you can. Make a list of all the qualities you want in another person. When your done read that list OFTEN and don't settle for less than that! Does that mean you might be single for a while? probably, but wouldn't it be better to wait for the REAL Mr. Right, rather than put yourself through more heartache by settling for less than you deserve? Just rememeber, love and respect go hand in hand. If you aren't being respected in your relationship then you aren't being loved properly.
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Girls are always attracted to the bad boy jerks. It's just in our DNA. This new guy seems great - except that he cheated on you in the BEGINNING of the relationship. Cheating is never acceptable, and even more so in the beginning because it puts a damper on the rest of the relationship. If he cheats on you once, what's to say he won't cheat on you again? I say give him the ol' heave-ho and wait for a TRULY great guy to come along.
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Ok, first of all, you may really like this guy that you are with now, but he cheeted on you. that is not a good sign to any realtionship. i understand that he is a nice guy but you are blaming yourself for somthing that is just not your fault. you don't need a guy to make you happy. EVER! you are your own person, and if you could stay away from the guys for awhile i think it would be the best thing for you. get out of the relationship you are in wiht this cheeting guy. he is not worth you precious time. you have been hurt so many times, because you let them walk all over you. with this guy, he is more than likely going to hurt you in the future, like when you try to think about it and that's all you see, that means your heart is telling you that this guy is just not right for you. you just have to get the courage to break it off. there are so many guys out there, that will treat you right, the won't hurt you- at least not intentanaly like cheeting. you need to find yourself first meaning that really happy and fun girl, and then when you do i assure that there will be guys all over you not literaly but there will be guys that will take their time of day and want to spend it with you. BUT, like i said you can't let them walk all over you. take this for example: the guy you have now, he cheeted, and you guys are still together, that is telling him that it's ok for he did, and that whatever he does you won't care, and he can get away with anything and you won't stick up for yourself, or for anyone else. and in a very strong he wants you to stick up for yourself. guys like girls who are indpendent, meaning that when they meaning you are not ok with something that a guy does you stick up for your rights, beliefs, thoughts. you talk to him, and you don't let it slide. because he will walk all over you i personaly think he don't care about you. and this cheeting this is probaly a long time past event, but me personaly i dont' put with any guy on cheeting on me, and you shouldn't either because there are guys out there so much better than the one you have now. so to sum this all up- 1ST dump this guy 2ND find your happy fun girl again and don't go out with anyone for awhile when you think that you found this special guy that you want to give your time too then go out with them BUT BECOME FRIENDS FIRST!! it's the best thing you can do, because you will both know eachother well enough that you won't have to worry about them hurting you or cheeting on you or anything, and you will still be happy and fun around this person and your spirt will not die, this person will make you stronger, because they support you and respect , and care about you. so good luck i know this will work.
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First of all, to your whole situation pretty much, I have totally been there. So I can actually relate with you. It is often times, that because of our past relationships and experiences we have gone through, we carry them--and the scars/impact with us wherever we go, and with whom we begin new relationships. And that's okay, to an extent. It is important to learn from the past and build/grow from it. Falling asleep crying is no way to go to bed at night. Relationships and love are meant to lift you up, not bring you down. Of course everyone makes mistakes. And you are bound to have arguements in a relationship. You should NEVER let someone disrepect you, abuse you, degrade you, or frankly, mistreat you in any way. You have ask yourself: If you had a daughter, would you let her or want her to be with someone that has treated you the way you have been? Of course not. We often forget what's best for us, because we are blindsighted from the perks of just simply being with someone. People deserve second chances, but not when you know there's going to be more times of hurt and pain. Your boyfriend cheating on you isn't acceptable. I know you have already made the decision of still being with him, but if you're not happy there is a reason. The fact that you are just waiting for then next big slip up on his part isn't any good. You shouldn't have to worry about that. You need to express to your boyfriend that you aren't happy. Simple as that. You need to tell him, that his cheating in the past has affect what you think y'alls future might entail. Ultimately, I can't tell you whether or not you should break up with him. Only you will know that. But what I do know, is your shouldn't be feeling like this. Find a guy that's going to make your heart do flips. A guy that is so sweet you almost think he's too nice for you. A guy that 10 years from now you'll say I want to marry him. Think about it. :)
EDIT/ADD-ON: I appreciate the complimentary feedback. Just remember, don't you ever let ANY guy (or even girl) bring you or tear you down. Be strong. Be free. Be you. Your will to live and the spirit that makes you who are is NOT depedent on a guy. :)
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It's very simple, you need to spend some time alone and get to know who you are and what you need before you can ever be truely happy with anyone else.
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You can definately find someone better, that treats you good and that you are happy with. No one should be cheated on and if he cheated on you in the beginning of the relationship, then it's better to get out now. But just remember, not all guys are like that. You do deserve someone that makes you happy. Just take your time and find someone who you are truely happy with and that you can trust.
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I agree......if he cheated on you once, he will do it again. You definitely deserve better than this. Forget about all of the past relationships....take time to yourself. Get rid of him! You seem like a very loyal, sweet person...there is a guy out there that deserves you. Not this guy.
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Hey there!
Well, first I think you need to break up with him. Once a cheater always a cheater. And you deserve wayyyy better than cheaters and pychos! I think you need a break from boys, so i think you should go do something with your best girl frined(s) just to forget about everything and get that fun loving girl back! And you need to be more picky about the guys you go out with! And there's absoulutely nothing wrong with you! You do NOT need to let boys rule your life, they're not that fantastic. I've cried over a few guys myself, but I always got back on my feet, so can you! =] Good luck!
♥Paige
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