About 6 weeks ago I was dumped over the internet by my long term bf. He did it in a very cowardly and cruel way with no explanation- pretty ignorant for a 3 year relationship. Everyone is telling me I'm better off without him. When I first met him I thought he was mr. right- he was caring, attentive; and charming. But then I saw his true colours. He would yell at me for no reason; get extremely jealous when I talked to his male friends; constantly put me and other women down; was a womanizer and cheated on me; and had a porn addiction. The meanest thing he ever did was stick his face in mine and yell "I"M SO SORRY"! after I told him his friends at a party were making me uncomfortable. I started writing a list of all the crap he did to me to make me feel better. But there is still a part of me that misses him when he was nice. Does anyone have any methods for how I can get over this jerk? And why do I still want him after everything he did?
It's always hard to let go fo a long term relationship. Even bad ones. From what you have told me he sounds very rude and not very considerate of your feelings at all. We women tend to think we can "fix" a man or that things will get better later. The truth is we can't fix them and it won't get any better later. The best sign of future behavior is past behavior. The way that he broke up with you is a blatant display of disrespect! I say you are better off without him! I know that doesn't make it any easier for you. Just give yourself some time to readjust. Get out with friends and do things that you enjoy and you will find yourself moving on sooner than you think.
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Okay 25/F here with major realtionship issues. Recently me and my boyfriend of 7 years decided to have a separation, well more like I decided. So he moved out (we own a house together) and I have now been living alone for 3 weeks. The plan was for him to go get help and for me to sort out my feelings and then he would move back in after a month and then we could see how things went from there. So why did we separate? He is very controlling and jealous, he was constantly calling me names and accusing me of cheating, so basically calling me a whore. He say's he doesn't really think I cheat but he just gets mad and that he's jealous of my job, because they get more attention then I do. I am never allowed to go anywhere and have alienated every friend beacuse he thinks that you should not go out unless your significant other is with you. So there's no "girls night" for me. If I even go to the store he clocks me and gets pissed about how long I take. The longer we're together the less I cuddle, kiss or do anything with him at all. The only time I am intimate with him, I am being forced by him complaining and some sense of duty for the relationship. Basically it's aweful and his touch disgusts me now. Despite all his faults he loves me very much perhaps too much and he has always been there for me when I had tough things to deal with. He wants to marry me and have kids but I am not ready for that, I care about him but for some reason I can't seem to marry him. On top of it all I have formed this infatuation for a co-worker and my BF senses their is something between me and this other guy, if he even new about flirting then he would seriously go down there and beat him to a pulp. So our month break thing is almost up, and I still don't know what I want, he has been going to a Psychologist and he recognizes his problems and I appreciate his effort but I can't seem to make myself "feel" and he says that I just don't care, but I do I just can't explain what it is I feel. If I leave him he will serisouly snap, he already threatened to kill himself when I asked for the separation. I don't know what to do, if he really did change will my feelings all come back or did I fall out of love with him and is it too late? Or am I so focused on this other guy that I am not appreciating what I already have. I feel so lost right now. :(
It doesn't sound to me like love honey, but obsession and that is way different than love. Love is kind and giving while obsession is demanding and controling. Ring a bell?? Do you really want to spend your life being controled and not having healthy friendships? I would think not. I think it's great that he is getting help and that he atleast does recognise that he does have a problem. I really don't think a month is long enough to wait. It takes a while to deal with these kind of issues. The way you say this guy makes you feel and the fact that you are interested in someone else leads me to believe you are ready to break things off permanantly but you are stayign with him out of guilt. I mean he IS getting help so he can be with you right? So you owe it to him right? wrong!! Wether you two are together or not he needs help with these issues. I'm not saying you have to be unkind but I think you are ready to move on. If that is what you are feeling then that is what you should do. Staying with him will only lead to resentment. You will feel pressured to stay with him and that will only lead to other problems. As far as him threatening to kill himself that is more than likely just another way of controling you. If he threatens this again and you are sincerely concerned he might be a danger to himself you can call 911 and let them take care of it.Do what your heart tells you to do. Don't operate out of guilt, but rather what you feel is best for you.
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well me and my boyfriend are back together he asked me out and i said yeah...but he is being nice but he wants to go to this place where all my friends hangout and all his friends play soccer and we all hang out there and im just worried that he will hit on my friends...and tommorow he is going to new jersey with his friends but i dont trust his friends because they always try to break us up and i dont know what i should do should i be mad that he is going to the those places?...well thank you
Well you said it yourself. You don't trust him. Red flag here!! Trust is very important in any relationship, even friendships. Do you really want a guy you think will hit on your friends?? As far as his friends go, noone can talk us into doing something if we didn't want to do it and if he is that easy to persuade to break up with you then you don't need that either. No you shouldn't be mad. You just need a better guy all together. The most important thing you can give yourself is respect. Now respect yourself and stop worrying about this guy.
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I have a friend who is mad at me. I wont say why but she says she will never talk to me again. I tried to work it out but she wont listen to me. WHat should I do?
This question may be a little difficult to answer for you as I don't know what you did to make your friend angry but I will try. You say you have tried to work it out. It sounds to me that you have really hurt your friends feelings. Give her a little time to stew and mend her hurt feelings. After that maybe there is something you can do for her that would show her how much you value her friendship. If you were friends for a while then you can probably find something that would be meaningful to her. Be patient. These things take time.
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I have ben hurt many times by guys. Too many times! I always seem to fall for the wrong type, and I really mean the WRONG type! They all seem great at first but then the truth comes out. My ex-boyfriends have either been phycos, nymphos, mythomaniacs, cheaters or just plain assholes!! I have lost count on how many night I have fallen asleep crying! I thought I had given up on boyfriends and then my present boyfriend came along and seems really nice and all. Sure, he cheated on me once in the begining of out relationship but that's normal for me now, I guess that's just a thing that guys do so I have him a second chance.
So now we are together and I can't seem to be happy when I'm with him!! I'm just waiting for when he is going to hurt me and how he's going to do it!
When ever I try to picture our relationship in the furutre I see me crying over him because he hurt me really bad somehow....
I have seriously no romance in me anymore! My previous boyfriends have crushed that! They have made me into a depressing person. I used to me known as the "really happy and fun girl" but that was a looooong time ago!
I try, I really try to be happy with my present boyfriend, he is nice and all but I can't seem to get there. What is wrong with me?!?!
They have crushed my spitit, my soul and a few times my will to live :'(
please help!!
First of all the reason you are expecting something bad to happen in your current relationship is because it already has! The trust was broken between you right from the beginning when he cheated. Forgiving is easier said than done. Although we may say we have forgivin someone and may even outwardly appear to have done so, the heart is a little harder to convince. Yes alot of men (and women) cheat. That doesn't mean it is normal or something you should just except. You said yourself you always seem to go for the wrong type of guy. Well you have to break that pattern. Is there some reason you think you don't deserve a good guy? Do you think you don't deserve to be happy? I'm here to tell you YES you do deserve to be happy!!! When you settle for less than what you want that's exactly what you get. Less! I think you need a little time off from the boyfriend game ( at least 6 months) to do a little soul searching. The only person who can make us truely happy is ourselves. Be your own best friend. Noone can look out for your own best interest better than you can. Make a list of all the qualities you want in another person. When your done read that list OFTEN and don't settle for less than that! Does that mean you might be single for a while? probably, but wouldn't it be better to wait for the REAL Mr. Right, rather than put yourself through more heartache by settling for less than you deserve? Just rememeber, love and respect go hand in hand. If you aren't being respected in your relationship then you aren't being loved properly.
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I have been best freinds with this girl since 4th grade and now that I am going into high school I don't want to be best freinds with her. I want a new best freind and meet new people. I still want to be freinds with her, just not as close. She doesn't have many close friends and me leaving her would be the end of the world for her. Is this mean of me? Should I stay BFs with her?
I don't quite understand why you would want to stop being her best friends. When I was in highschool I had 3 best friends! You can remain friends with her and still meet new friends as well. Besides, bringing a few new people into your little group could help to open her world a little too. So keep your friend and make new ones. The more the merrier!
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My best friend in the world...let's call her 'little-bit',is my rock!She herself is great at giving advice,and always knows just what to say to make a person feel better. I don't think I could make it through without her.(yes,she's that good) The problem is that she is stuck in a dead end job,in a dead end town. She wants to be a therapist of some sort so she can help people for a living. I know that she could save lives with her sweetness. What steps can she take to achieve this goal. I am most definatly willing to help anyway I can, and want her to succeed in this dream! She feels like 'good' things don't happen for her. You know money situations stop so many dreams in their tracks and I want to help make 'this' happen! What can I do? Thanks so much
Congrats on having such a good friend! Just submitting this question shows you have your friends best interest at heart and you are lucky to have each other. The first thing you can do is encourage your friend in her endeavors( it sounds like you are already doing this) It is difficult to achieve certain dreams when money and other resources are limited, but not entirely impossible. If your certain this is something she really wants perhaps you could do a little research for her. Fimd our if there are any educational grants she may qualify for or any programs in your area that help with colege education for low income people. Other than that just continue being there for your friend. Good friends are hard to find in this day and age. Just encouraging her could give her the confidence she needs to achieve her goals
P.S. Thanks P.
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My mother and I have jsut started talking about a year ago. She was with a man I did not like and she choose him over me after he crossed a few lines that should have never been crossed. Well everytime I have something important come up like surgery or graduating from something she does not show up. She makes these big excuses and blames everyone else for her not showing up. Now I understand that she lives 12 hours away from me, but when she is offered a free trip up here with someone else I think she should take it. Ever since my little girl was born my mother has only seen her 4 times. I feel like I'm the one that has done something wrong. Should I feel this way? How can I tell her that she is hurting me and don't even act like it bothers her? I'm very confussed and feel like I"m the one to blame for her acting this way. Could you please help!!!!!!!
First of all you are not to blame for your mother's actions. Nor are you responsible for them. She is a grown woman. I'm afraid talking to her about how she makes you feel will only cause further heartache for you. She has been this way your whole life. If she acts like it doesn't bother her then it probably doesn't. I'm not telling you to write your mother off or have no contact with her but don't give her the importance in your life that she obviously doesn't deserve. As far as her not seeing your daughter, that could be for the best as she may cause your daughter the same hurt she has caused you and you certainly don't want that. Focus more on the people who love you and HAVE been there for you. Thats where your true family is.
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My husband migrated to Toronto Canada 6 years ago. He abandoned me and found a new love. I found out that he already has a daughter with the girl who is living in Manila Philippines, where I am. He cancelled my immigrant sponsorship 2 years ago, took my money, and sponsored the girl as a common law wife to migrate to Canada to stay with him. How can I ask him to divorce/annul our marriage if he is avoiding me?
I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I know you must be eager to move forward with your life. I don't know why he would be avoiding you since he has obviously moved on I would think he would want a divorce himself. I would suggest seeing a lawyer. Many will give you a free consultation. This way you can find out what your legal rights are and what you can or cannot do. See if there are abandonment laws in your state. You may be able to file a legal seperation. That isn't the same as a divorce but would give you some relief as you wouldn't have any legal ties to anything he may be doing. Contact a legal professional they can at least let you know what your options are.
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Hi peeps ,
Just a quick question ..I have a 14 years old niece and she wants to get a job(to buy some extra clothes,make up etc)...But is this right ??...she may loose focus on her studies...I saw another nieces of mine work at this age and some of them the parents loose control over them becuase they think they work and have everything they need so they think they do not need their parents anymore...On the other hand it stimulate them to work for what they want but...it may leed them to fatal distractions working at so young age..just for buying extra clothes etc etc....
Am I worrying to much..?????
I will rate very high for good answers...
It's perfecty normal to worry about the children in our lives ( especially teenagers) I think it is always a good idea to let children learn responsibility and to gain a little independence is good also. school should always be a priority. The key here is balance. Since school seems to be a concern here let her know that school comes first but she can work a few hours a week or weekends to make a little extra money as long as her grades are good. If her grades drop then the job goes!! This will not only give her an opportunity to gain a little independence by making some money of her own but would also be a great incentive to take school seriously too.
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I really dread my grandparents dying. Practically every other night i cry myself to sleep because i am afraid that we will get a call the next morning saying one of my grandparents is gone. (grandparents on my mom's side the most) I see them every week, i have been seeing them a lot recently, and we are very close. I try to think about the happy times, and have fun while i am with them. I still can't keep the thoughts out of my head. Is this ok, just a girl that doesn't want to lose someone she really loves, or should i try and not be so close? i really don't want to pull apart from them. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!
Losing someone we love is always hard but unfortunately it is a fact of life. dont dwell on the ineveitable. You know it will happen someday as it will to all of us. dont pull away from your grandparents! Love them and enjoy them while they are here. Don't let the future ruin the time you have with them now. Talk with your grankparents. let them know what you are feeling. I bet they will have some things to tell you to ease your fears.
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Ok so im trying to work things out with my bf. we have been together almost 2 years and i am now pregnant even though i was told i couldnt have kids. We have set a date for marriage but there is a problem. He will not save any money and we are stuck renting a basement apartment at a friends house and im not bringing a baby into a basement. So, i suggested that we move down south with family where we could afford the cost of living. He refuses because all of his friends are here. So since he doesnt want to come with me, should i just leave him and go by myself??? I have no family or friends here and both of our families are down south. I think he is being selfish to want me and our baby to stay in a basement just because of his friends.
No honey, you are not the selfish one here. You are thinking of the welfare of your baby as you should be. It sounds to me like your bf has some growing up to do and fast! The problem is this could be time consuming so while he is "growing up" you should do what ever is best for you and baby.I think being close to family is a good idea. At least you would have a support system there where as now you have none. So go be with your family. If he is ready to be a father to this child then he will follow and if not then so be it. his loss.
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I got this sunsilk shampoo and conditioner and this straighten up cream.
The brand is sunsilk. And i tihnk its new. Its in purple bottles.
I was wondering if anyone ever used it? did you like it? would you buy it again?Did it work? anything i should know?
Thanks
I use sunsilk myself. I have the shampoo and a styling cream but they are in a green bottle. I have a perm in my hair and it really puts the bounce back in my curl. I do believe they make it for various styles of hair. I say try it I like it!
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