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pregnant and bf is not saving money...selfish?
Ok so im trying to work things out with my bf. we have been together almost 2 years and i am now pregnant even though i was told i couldnt have kids. We have set a date for marriage but there is a problem. He will not save any money and we are stuck renting a basement apartment at a friends house and im not bringing a baby into a basement. So, i suggested that we move down south with family where we could afford the cost of living. He refuses because all of his friends are here. So since he doesnt want to come with me, should i just leave him and go by myself??? I have no family or friends here and both of our families are down south. I think he is being selfish to want me and our baby to stay in a basement just because of his friends.
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No honey, you are not the selfish one here. You are thinking of the welfare of your baby as you should be. It sounds to me like your bf has some growing up to do and fast! The problem is this could be time consuming so while he is "growing up" you should do what ever is best for you and baby.I think being close to family is a good idea. At least you would have a support system there where as now you have none. So go be with your family. If he is ready to be a father to this child then he will follow and if not then so be it. his loss.
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ok me dear he is being very rude if he loves you and wants the baby to grow up in an environment were it wont be in hospital hooked up to respirators ebcause it devolpped asthma from the mildeau he should move down south. There is no way you are being is elfish and you should move down there with or without him. You are endangering yourslef and the baby by living in that kind of place and he isnt doing much good for himself either. He is being very selfish. If he loves you when he sees your serious that you'll move he'll pack up and go with you.
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i would go without him. if he loved you and the baby enough he would eventually come too. Just before you move i would look at the difference in education. because southern schools are known to be not as good as the ones in the north.. so your child may not have the best home.. but they can get a better education. or maybe you can talk to him maybe moving down south till you can save enough money to move back to where you are now.
just think of your babies future before you think of him
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omg this guys selfish!! ofCOURSE leave him who cares about love now...are you going to stay in a place thats crapped up and raise your kid here while you no noone here?your kids not gonna grow up happy u know.i think you should talk to this guy about getting a job and moving to a better place and if he dont agree then goodbye to him,your kids more important
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No you are not selfish at all for wanting better for your new child. Don't bring a child into that environment! Tell him simply, "You can either start saving asap to get us out of this disgusting basement or me and YOUR CHILD are leaving. I will not bring my baby into a damn basement full of mold for her/him to get sick!"
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He does need to grow up and save money. If you do not love him then by all means go home to family...alone if need be.
On the other hand, if you love this guy and want to be with him...where you live should not matter. You make the best of the situation you can afford to be in and be happy because you are together.
People have lived in worse places. :)
+++EDIT++++
Hon if you have mold you need to make the landlord get rid of it. They need to fix your floors too. If they don't then turn them in to whatever agency handles renters rights and complaints. They will be made to fix it or you will have to move...might take care of that problem for you real quick! :)
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hey!
i agree with you 100%! he is being selfish and you can't let that kind of behavior go on. whether he wants it or not, it's time for him to grow up and start a completely new kind of life. from now on, it's not about what's best for him, it's about what's best for the baby.
honestly, from now on, life will be different for both of you. it's going to revolve around work and the baby. it's not going to revolve around friends. so what if all his friends are at home? he won't have time to see them! he will either have to work over time if you are home watching the baby, or he will have to watch the baby while you are at work. he will barely see his friends, so they might as well not be there.
if you move down south where both of your families are, you will have more of a life. you guys can make new friends there, and you will actually be able to go out every once in a while and have fun because you will have plenty of babysitters around... ones that you don't have to pay!
sit down, talk to him, explain all of this to him, and then even suggest that you guys can go there for a year and see how things go. if both of you really hate it there, you can always move back. his friends won't forget him... a year is nothing! and since the cost of living in the south is cheaper or you may even be able to live with family until you get adjusted, you can save up most of the money you guys earn there, and use it to get a nicer place if you decide to move back!
good luck and i hope all of this helped. just don't fight with him... talk everything out. give him choices... make decisions together. hopefully he will soon realize that a child is big responsibility, and whatever is best for the baby is what's best for everyone! :) let me know if you need more help! GOOD LUCK!
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dude..wtf.
a baby and its mother living in a basment?
damn. hes messed up.
I say you should leave him.
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yeah he is being really selfish, he needs to see what it's like without you and ur newborn (once the baby is born) in my opinion losing loved ones is the only way a man will change his ways!
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He is being really selfish. He needs to realize he is going to be a father soon and he needs to sacrifice things. He can always hang out with his friends. Or even talk thru email and phone.
You should try to sit him down and explain to him how you feel about it and tell him he needs to start acting like a responsible adult. If it doesnt work, youre best bet would be to go by himself. It will be his fault whenever he doesnt get to raise his child. And maybe if you do move, this will make him realzie that you are serious about it and he made a choice to makelove to you and he knew the consquences that would happen.
Good luck
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Ok you are in a really tough spot, I think that honestly maybe he needs a wake-up call, you are going to need to be near family when you have your child. I would have been LOST without help from mine.
You are thinking not what is best for you but what is best for your child. I would talk to your family ask them if they are ok with you coming and go. I know it sounds harsh but your child needs to be your primary focus (which it is) so follow your gut and your heart.
Good luck.
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