NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: i would like to know the approiate age to wear make.. can anyone tell me if so how much make up. and is it true that it ages your face and it will get ruined faster then an average person would age because of make up?

Well, I would say that you can start wearing makeup at 13+... but don't EVER wear too much, no matter how old you are. I never go more than mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss, and that's when I'm going out... and I'm 18.

As for aging, I honestly think it does age your face... I see a lot of women who look much older than they are, and they've worn heavy makeup for their whole lives... and then I see my mom, who is almost 40 and she looks like she's 30, and she NEVER wears makeup.

Remember, natural beauty is always better :)

Q: i saved a document on a cd-rom disc so i can print it at school but now i cant delete the document from the cd.. or even rename it so can i do anything to this document like deleting it in some other way or is that not possible?

You can't get rid of it unless you used a CD-RW, a re-writeable CD. Sorry :)

Q: Hey im 13/f and pretty much everyone kissed a guy but me. Yea i know im still young its just ive been thinking about it more and more lately. I know I'm ready for it i keep playing scenes in my head of how perfect it will be. Its bugging me because its ALWAYS on my mind and i keep dreaming about it. I know Im not gonna kiss anyone soon so how do I keep all of these thoughts out? Its kind of a weird question I know but if you can help that would be great =). I rate 5's for good advice.

Thanks

Wow, that Xoduro person isn't very nice...

Don't worry sweetie, I didn't get my first kiss till I was 15... and I had built it up so much in my head... and it was AWFUL! Neither of us knew what we were doing, it turned out terribly.

Just remember that the longer you wait, the better it's going to be when it happens :)

Q: Okay well, I don't knwo how to wear my hair with my dress. I have someone coming to my house to do my hair,nails, and makeup, but i don't knwo what to do. Well, I have this dress and it's strapless, and it's white with like small flower black designs on it, it's really pretty anfd it's short and it's jessica Mc Clintock. There a picture of it in this one magazine.. it's a lord and taylor add. I need help on a hair style. I think i want to wear it down, or half up/half down, but i'm not sure. Can you give me pictures. Ohh, and my hair is brown and curly except i starighten it alot. thanks

The way to get the best hairstyle is to just let the person doing your hair do what they want! Just think, they've been doing it for a while, and they're going to know what looks good with what.

That's what I've done for every single formal, and my hair has always looked AMAZING.

Q: im about 5'6 and weigh 134. im not happy with the way i look. i have huge theighs, and i chubby stumach. summer is ALMOST here in about two months. ive been thinking about making myself throw up, but i dont want to turn bolimic. it just seems like the only way to lose the weight, since i have muscles under the fat. ive cut down on the junk food drastically. i just cant seem to lose any weight. anyone have any tips?

First of all, you're not all that heavy... I'm 5'8", and I weigh 185, and I'm still happy with the way I look. Try not to be so hard on yourself about your appearances!

Cardio exercise will help you to lose fat... bulimia does not help anything: it may help you lose weight, but it would ruin your teeth and is a serious eating disorder.

But yes, try doing some walking or jogging, or even cycling. It'll help you lose the fat over top of your muscles.

Q: hii
i am always so worried about being a model. i really want to be one. i know people say its just a dream and everybody wants to be one. but then why are like alot of people at my school models? ughh i just wish i was a model.. i dont know how to become a model because it costs so much money. well of what i know of. somebody help me!!! please does anybody know how to become a model without paying so much money? i kno im pretty enough to be one [not being cocky] so please dont say maybe im not pretty enough. i mean maybe im not? i dont know.. :// gahhhh this is so confusing :[

I had a ton of friends who were models... they paid 600$ to learn how to walk and put on makeup... not to mention what they spent on photos for their portfolios. All they got out of it was enormous egos and a few small modelling jobs.

I, the not-so-attractive one who didn't shell out 600$, ended up having a charity calendar deal this year! :D

It just goes to show you, anyone can be one, and you don't necessarily have to pay a lot of money.

Silly question, why do you want to be a model so badly? I'm sure you're a beautiful girl, you shouldn't need that kind of affirmation :)

Q:

If you are a female, and you shave your head as short as natalie portman in v for vendetta, then about how long will it take to grow back? And is there any way to make it grow back sooner.

Just a note...

Hair does NOT grow faster if you cut it a quarter inch once a month... that's an urban myth :)

It just looks healthier and gets rid of split ends.

Q: okay so i know this isnt a big deal! but okay so like my old best friend and me where extremly close! and now i have new best friend is seriously like my bestestest friend ever! but i feel bad for my old best firend! i mean where still friends but sometimes i wish we where still the best of friends like we used to be! and i dont know what i should do! should i talk to her about it? or just see if things get better?

I was best friends with my friend for 11 years, literally from the day I moved into the house across the road from her. Since going away to university, we've really drifted apart, we don't talk at all as much as we used to. I've made amazing friends here, but when she and I do talk, we're still as close as we used to be.

Don't worry too much, just keep being friends and remember that life goes on, it always changes!

Q: Okay ...I had have 2 blood infusion before.
my question is does my DNA change by getting blood from someone else ?

It may be a stupid question but I have be wondering??

There's ACTUALLY no DNA in red blood cells, only white blood cells! Pretty cool :)

Q: male/17. i feel that lately whenever i talk to my girlfriend i get hard. or even when i think about her. i don't think about her in a sexual/lustful way, and havn't been. we don't talk about things on that topic anyway, but why is this happening? is it normal? i'm not sexually active or have had sex or anything. i almost never have thoughts that would cause it or anything, so when it does happen i feel like theres something wrong with me, since its almost involuntary. i havn't told her yet, but i think she might have noticed but i'm not sure, its really embarrasing. what should i do, because i'm not thinking about those kind of things and happens even when i just think about her or talk about her. please help

Awwww, don't be embarassed!

My BF does the same thing (much as I'm sure he'd hate me advertising the fact on here :P). It's not your "fault", and it's not necessarily a bad thing! I had an ex who had trouble having an erection every time we wanted to be active... having someone who's ready to go all the time is great :D

Be proud! Don't worry about telling her, it's not something that she really needs to know if you're not sexually active.

Q: there was a boy at my school that i had a crush on. he was so fine! anyway, i would always talk to him and then people would get in the way of what we had. how could i have kept him to myself?

Well, trying to keep him to yourself won't necessarily have the effect you want it to have!

Keep talking to him, get to be friends with him, but don't be overbearing or jealous if he's talking to other people.

He'll appreciate you giving him freedom, and if he's worth it, he'll come back to you for more :)

Q: I know that when a girl first has sex, it [usually] hurts. So, are there any cons for the boys when they first have sex? Do any disadvantages come with it (pain, etc.)

thnx

Guys get a TON of insecurity. Kind of an inner monologue of "Is it too small? Am I doing it right? It was never this hard in porn!"

Also, I know that when my bf and I first had sex, HE was sore and I wasn't! The whole foreskin thing really is an issue.

Q: Any tips on flirting really well? I know the smile, ask questions about him, touch your hair, touch his arm, and more .. but anything else? Anything's good. Thanks in advance. I'll rate.

Try just being yourself... Flirting may get a guy's attention, but too much turns them off. This is only what I've heard from my guy friends.

Here's what NOT to do... don't act stupid, don't be ultra-girly, don't look desperate for attention.

:)

Q: i started culring my hair with a culring iron, and it looks really good. however, there is a problem:
it takes about an hour to curl my entire head (i have htick hair, and it just takes a while)but i want to be able to do it in the morning, because if i sleep on it it gets messed up. how can i either shorten the time it takes or prevent it from getting messed up by sleeping on it? an idea for a solution to either one would be great thanks. (and i want to coninue to use a curling iron, not curlers or anything). thanks!

Here's what I do...

Have you ever tried rag curlers? It doesn't use real curlers, just strips of t-shirt. Try this website for instructions. If you can get someone to help you with it at first, that's great, cuz it's hard to do to yourself till you know what you're doing.

http://www.nocturne.com/swing/hair/rag-curlers/rag-curlers.html

I've done it a few times, it takes about half an hour to put my (very thick) hair up in them, and maybe 5-10 minutes to take them out in the morning. I always get tons of compliments, it looks much more like a natural curl than a curling iron does :)

Q: Hello,

Well, I'm just wondering what I can do for my hair. Its black, I have bangs, and it reaches to an inch and a half from my chin. Any new hairstyle will due because I usually just curl the ends slightly inward.
Another problem is that whenever I blowdry my hair or even if I don't it get all poofy and fizzy- unless I tied it back, but my hair will curl outward.. My mother is usually the one who decides my hairstlye/type of haircut and its usually just cut straight. A hairtyle that is really that time consuming during the morning is fine because I usually take a shower then.
I want to avoid using hairspray, gel, or anything like that. I'll make exceptions if the products are good but not that expensive. Oh, and I'm using Tresseme (sp?) and no conditioner. Any ideas? Cuz I don't have much of a sense of style...

Well, if your hair tends to curl out... try using that to your advantage! I fought with my hair for years trying to get it to curl in, but then a really good hairdresser told me to work with what I have. Now I just let it flip out, and it's really cute :)

Next time you get your hair cut, ask for lots of layers, that way you get a really cute flippy look, and it's easier to curl your hair under, too.

Q: Okay seriously, I'm a freshman in highschool & I can't take the pressure of grades. In middle school I was a straight A student, perfect in everything, just what my parents expected of me. Highschool, I'm taking Spanish for the first time, Algebra 1, and Pre Ap English. (These are the classes I am doing HORRIBLE in!!) Pre Ap English is obviously harder than normal enlgish, it's adavanced, and we don't really need to talk about that class because I'm getting better in it.

Now we get a midterm report on our grades which must be signed by our parents, & I am terrified because I got a 60 in Algebra 1, and a 68 in Spanish. I don't know what to do! My parents don't ground me, they just yell and yell. They tell me how important it is to go to cllege, etc. I KNOW it is, I'm just so scared to dissapoint them. The thing is, I KNOW I can at least bring my grade up in Spanish (and hopefully a little in Algebra) by the end of the marking period. But when I tell my parents this they won't believe me, they'll be so pissed that I'm failing at *this* moment they won't care about anything else.

MY QUESTION IS -- How do I just get it over with and show my parents the report? They also KNOW I get it & it must be signed, so of course they'll have to see it. What can I maybe say to them to calm them down, or not have them yell as much? I have so much pressure on me, it's unbearable. I'm sreiously about to break down, my parents scare me so bad when it comes to grades. Please, please help me.

Sounds just like me in high school!

It takes a little adjusting to get used to a whole new way of thinking when you get into high school. Don't panic too much, if you were a straight A student in middle school, then you'll likely do better later on in high school once you've adjusted.

I hate to say this, but if you're getting to your breaking point now, it gets a whole lot worse in university: I used to be a straight 90s student, and I'm failing several courses now! It's very high pressure, and they're just trying to prepare you adequately :)

Q: Can you have sex if you havent started you period?

Do you mean before having your first period? Because physically it's possible... but honestly I wouldn't suggest it. Menarche is a primary indication of womanhood, and if you haven't achieved it yet, then you're not old enough to bear children.

Remember, becoming sexually active is a big decision with consequences you wouldn't necessarily imagine.

Q: Well, my problem is that my friends and a few other classmates are hurting my feelings is all... You see, (from what I have heard. Stupid people...grr.) I'm the "top" (riiiight.) in my class. My IOWA test result from last year was only an 84 percentile and it jumped to a 96 this year. I also have good grades and I get good test results. But before this guy, Robert, was the best, so they're not very used to me. So, they're jealous. I could tell because they say scathing remarks to me, scowling, etc.

My friends are doing this too. Ashley, when she sees I have a higher score than her, does this and talks back if I write something she thinks she doesn't like. (ex."You have a big ego!" She got that when my teacher was joking when Ashley wrote my name BIG on our project.Then a few weeks later, "You have a small head!" The size of my head mind you. But I say nothng yet again!But now I think, 'You're a wakling oxymoron. That
comment just contridicts the other cuz you said I have
a big head and ego, no you say I have a SMALL head...?) I'm not used to this because they never did this to me before...

My bestfriend Elise also is dong stuff like this sometimes worse. My mom thinks she won't be a very good friend in the future. Why? Because in 3rd grade I was in this program called bungalow for kids who have trouble reading. So she came up to me and said "We can't be friends, because you're in bungalow." So we broke up. I didn't have any friends except for her that time, so I was a loner. Elise, fortunately, had lots of friends like Melvi, Nathaniel, Ariel, Linda, Franz, Ryan, etc. My mom also was gone for some time to train for her work. So that continued to 4th grade and into the first weeks of 5th grade. All I really did was kick a ball alone to improve so I can play kickball. Then later we became friends again and have Melvi as a friend in 5th grade because Elise seemed sad and I came up to her and tried to cheer her up. But then, now she is reacting like this, so my mom
doesn't know if she'll be a good friend and that she seems to be spoiled.

Other classmates are doing similar- all the way back from the beginning of the year. So I decided to give them time. But they only seem to become more vicious.

I have this bad habit of keeping things bottled in. So when I explode is when I have this tight feeling in my chest- like my heart is being squeezed, and then I cry. This is unusual because I'm usually calm. So I try to write out my feelings and talking to my mom. This helps, but it won't stop them from continuing this.

I've already dropped big and VERY noticiable hints that I don't like the way they're behaving. But it seems that they forget and continue what they do before. Sometimes I think people think that some people are different and don't have feelings.. But we
do! We feel the same that they do, eat what they eat,drink how they drink, we LIVE. But I don't think they get this. It's like I'm an alien!

I had to deal with this from the beginning and I still am.

If my relationship between my friends won't last, then I don't mind being alone. Or I'll try to get new ones. And I'll be more determined to push myself to the limit and do my best acdemically and socially.

What should I do, anyway?

I can hear the calls... spaaaaaatula... spaaaatula...

People like this are awful, they really try to bring you down to their level. Don't fall for it! Hard as it may seem, being alone or finding different friends will be a ton better than ending up where they're going to.

I was made fun of for being smart when I was in elementary school, by one girl in particular. I was devastated. Well, grade 11 rolled around, she had dropped out and I saw her working at Applebee's, pregnant. So, now that I'm in university for engineering, and she's living in minimum wage hell, I'm not regretting my decisions at all!

Bottom line is, don't let it get you too badly. There are great people out there who will gladly accept you for who you are, exceptional abilities and all.

Q: Well recently my best freind told me that she no longer wanted to be my friend just because i wasnt pretty enough and all most everyone has to disagree with that she also told me i didnt have enough money because i could never go out to the mall movies ect.. very often cuz i never had the money. Then she wrote me a note in class today and said you dont have a good enough body to be my friend im only friends with people that weigh less than 103pounds! SO what should i do to prove to her i am a good person even though i dont have as much money to spend as she does? Should i start skipping meals to loose weight? Should i duble my gumnastics classes i mean i go once a week for 3.5 hours and its really expencive so how do i prove it to her? Please help!!!!!

Alyssa/13/f

Two words... Screw... Her!!!

She's obviously not a good person if she's basing her opinion of people on how much money they have and how much they weigh.

You don't need to lose weight! When I was 13, I weighed 130 lbs, and I was happy with it. Anyone that superficial should be smacked upside the head.

Don't try to be friends with her anymore, she's not worth it, brutal as that may sound. There are people out there who aren't jerks, and you'll be happier if you get to know them and be friends with them.

Q: my name is venesa and i dont like it.
i want to change it to something else so random and unique like echo or something

so please. any suggestions?

Don't do it! Your name is beautiful to start with... if you have a weird name, trust me, you'll regret it when you're older. Echo may be a great name for a teen, but what about when you're getting ready to enter the professional world? Is anybody going to take a girl named Echo seriously?

Whatever you choose to do in the end, pick something versatile but unique. Remember, you're kinda stuck with it!

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.