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My not so bff


Question Posted Thursday March 23 2006, 9:07 pm

Well recently my best freind told me that she no longer wanted to be my friend just because i wasnt pretty enough and all most everyone has to disagree with that she also told me i didnt have enough money because i could never go out to the mall movies ect.. very often cuz i never had the money. Then she wrote me a note in class today and said you dont have a good enough body to be my friend im only friends with people that weigh less than 103pounds! SO what should i do to prove to her i am a good person even though i dont have as much money to spend as she does? Should i start skipping meals to loose weight? Should i duble my gumnastics classes i mean i go once a week for 3.5 hours and its really expencive so how do i prove it to her? Please help!!!!!

Alyssa/13/f


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ImGoingUnder answered Saturday March 25 2006, 9:08 pm:
Ok, well if shes saying all this stuff to you, you shouldn't do anything to prove yourself, because you are already better than her. Who ever has standards for thier friends is just really lame. Sorry to say, but she was never really your friend, she was just there for the fun of having someone. So I think that you should just forget about this girl, because, shes just being a retard. You can't help it that, you don't have enough money, have the right body, or what ever. If she was a TRUE friend, she wouldnt care. So forget about her, shes gonna do nothing, but bring you down about your self.

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teen13 answered Saturday March 25 2006, 2:59 am:
To Alyssa,

You know it dosen't matter what others think about you. What matters is what you think about yourself.

Listen to the wise girl inside you. Don't stay with lousy friends just because they'll leave you.

You shouldn't change yourself just to make people like you. If you call this girl your best friend, then she should be willing to accept you for who you are inside and out. And if this girl dosen't accept you, then she shouldn't be your BFF.

Just be yourself! Good luck!

Later!:)
♥teen13

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deena18 answered Friday March 24 2006, 9:07 pm:
you shouldn't stay friends with her anyway if she treats you this way. if everyone else disagrees with what she says, then they're probably on your side. if you have all those other people who are your friends, trust me you really dont need her. dont try to change anything about your self for her sake. its her loss anyway!

hope i helped♥

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summerGIRL_xo answered Friday March 24 2006, 4:53 pm:
that girl doesn't deserve your friendship at all. although it might be hard, forget about her and start hanging out with your other friends more, or branch out and make more friends. appearance, money, and all those superficial don't matter in making a friend. she's just being a bitch.. personality is what matters. she is not worth your time, please don't change yourself for her or feel like you have to prove anything to her. once you move on and start hanging out with other people, she'll prob come back to youu, and then YOU can be the one to turn HER away. and if she doesn't, just think of it as HER loss for losing an amazing friend like you<3 this girl will probably have no real friends if she treats people like that. so dont even give it another though. good luck<3

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TheHeadHonchoPoncho57 answered Friday March 24 2006, 2:37 pm:
This girl is a nasty little bitch. Money, physical appearance, or weight are definitely not factors for friendship, and anyone who thinks so should be slapped. For your health's sake, don't skip meals or double your gymnastics classes. I think it's actually HER who needs to change for YOU. Eventually, people will realize how shallow she is. Next time she says something derogatory, just say "Now, get this. You're a fucking bitch and I don't need the friendship of someone as shallow as you," or something along the lines of that.

I hope everything turns out well for you, hun. And dump that girl.

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ScratchesOnTheWall answered Friday March 24 2006, 12:20 pm:
Probably not the answer your looking for but don't bother doing anything to try to be friends with this girl. Is look snad wealth something you really want your best friend to judge you on?

I knew people like this when I was 13- they either change a lot and grow up when they realise what crappy human beings they are or they end up very lonely when other people do.

Find nice people who like you for who you are.

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NinjaNeer answered Friday March 24 2006, 2:19 am:
Two words... Screw... Her!!!

She's obviously not a good person if she's basing her opinion of people on how much money they have and how much they weigh.

You don't need to lose weight! When I was 13, I weighed 130 lbs, and I was happy with it. Anyone that superficial should be smacked upside the head.

Don't try to be friends with her anymore, she's not worth it, brutal as that may sound. There are people out there who aren't jerks, and you'll be happier if you get to know them and be friends with them.

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lulabelle answered Thursday March 23 2006, 11:57 pm:
I know this will be hard to understand. I wouldn't want to understand this either when I was 13. You have become attached to someone whom you visualize as your best friend and that is hard to let go of. This person that you are calling your best friend is not a friend. A friend is someone that is accepting of you the way you are. They appreciate the strengths that you do have and don't dwell on what they think you don't. Anyone who puts unrealistic guidelines down in order for her to hang out with people is not worthy of your attention. She is controlling you through fear. She has you jumping through hoops and she's enjoying the show. Skipping meals would be setting you up for a lifetime of the yoyo effect. Look around you at all of these overweight adults. They can't get the weight off and keep it of because of this very tactic. When you skip meals it puts your body into starvation mode. This means that when you start to eat regular again, and you won't be able to help it, your body will gain back all of the weight you lost plus some. It wants to make sure that you have enough energy (fat) in case there is another starvation period. The next time you try to loose weight it will be harder to loose. Your body doesn't know that you WANT to loose the weight. It only perceives it only as a lack and wants to make sure you will survive and not starve to death. Then the next time you try to loose weight and then go off the diet you will gain back what you lost plus more than your plus from the last gain. Now, if you want to loose weight for yourself the best way to do that is to cut out junk foods like chips, sodas, candy, cake, etc. Eat more fruits or raw vegetables like carrots and celery in between meals as a snack. You can eat as much of this as you want and not gain weight. Don't eat at fast food places like MacDonald's, Burger King, KFC, etc. Their salads have more fat in them than even some of their own hamburgers. Start drinking more water. A person should consume their weight in oz.s every day. That means if you did weight 100lbs you should drink 100 oz.s a day of water. You do these things and the weight will drop off in a healthy way. If doubling your gymnastic classes is what you want to do it certainly would help you health wise. But, if you are doing going to do it to impress someone else my vote is against it. Nothing good ever comes from our doing something to please someone who is looking for something to complain about. Lets say that you did everything she said you need to do to be her friend. I can guarantee that she would come up with another set of rules for you to succumb to. What I suggest you do is to ignore her. Be sweet to her and talk to her whenever she wants. Always say "hi" when you see her, but start moving on to better and more joyful relationships. Connect yourself with people who are not judging and just want to enjoy being 13 and to whom it doesn't matter if you don't have to money to do everything. You can still go to the mall and have fun and look. You don't have to spend money to go there. An idea for you to make money is babysitting. I use to baby-sit when I was your age. I bought a rabbit fur coat with my money and was able to go to the movies every week. I can feel your stress over this. I know how it feels. I too have felt I had to prove myself to someone else too. Take it from me it never really works out. I know I tried it. I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and make everything beautiful for you. You deserve to have a fun and joyful life. I know how hard this will be for you, but if you move on and develop other relationships you will look back and wonder what ever made you stress over a self centered egotistical small minded person like this. I wish you all the luck and if you have further questions feel free to contact me.


Namaste!


LULABELLE

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kristen22 answered Thursday March 23 2006, 11:52 pm:
Let me give it to you str8 This girl has no right to say these things to you. You dont need anyone like that in your life. period. You deserve better than that sweetie. You do not ever in your life have to PROVE to someone your self-worth. I really hope you realize this and soon. Would you do that to a person? Nope didnt think so, so dont except her behavior. Write her a note back and tell her that sorry but I cant be friends with a effen retard! and no I dont think I should have to do anything to make you want to be my friend im str8 without you. It'll be hard but maybe it will make her "wake up" to what a bit#h she's bein'

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beachhun101 answered Thursday March 23 2006, 11:41 pm:
your a great devoted friend, i can tell, but cmon. your better than skipping meals just to be her friend. she needs to get over her little pretty self (sry to say). idk why that got me mad, but you seem so sincere and nice and she doesn't deserve to have a great friend like you. weight, money, or looks should not come into play in a friendship. so what if you dont have a lot of money?...just hang out at your house. and does weight and looks really affect a relationship? dont double your gymnastics, no need to waste money unless you really love gymnastics for yourself and not for her. but if you really wanna lose weight for yourself and not to get back w/ her, just run around the block for a little bit (cheap). please realize that you can find friends that would treat you better than that. best of luck!

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karenR answered Thursday March 23 2006, 10:39 pm:
You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

I know you don't want to hear it but your friend is a stuck-up, spoiled little brat. There are better types of friends to have out there.

Don't even think about skipping meals and trying to live up to her expectations. She is the one with the problem not you. Oh! Those kind of people make me so angry!

There are plenty of other girls out there who don't fit into her friend bracket. You go find another best friend and good riddance to this one.
Maybe she will grow up one of these days. :)

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