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Okay so this year I became really good friends with my friend and we had a class together and all but it was only for the first part of the year. For about 4 whole months we talked a lot on text/chat and the last two months we have talked basically every day from the moment we get back from school until one of us goes to sleep. We have become very good friends and I throughout this whole thing I started to notice that I actually have a thing for him. The problem is that I'm going to college next year and he is staying because he is a year younger.
My friend actually asked him if he had a thing for me and it turns out that he does. She told him to just enjoy the time and have fun since I only have two weeks left.
I am actually so devastated that I am leaving. I think about it all the time and I can't get him off my mind... I never thought it would come to this.
I barely see him at school though, and I see him some weekends if there is an event going on but we don't hangout just the two of us.
But we have many inside jokes and we talk for hours and when we see each other it feels nice.
I leave so soon and I don't know what I should do... should I tell him something? Confess somehow or what? I really wish he could invite me to hangout or something that would be so amazing and perfect. Im dreading the day I have to say goodbye to him. We are going to be thousands of miles away and I have no clue when I will see him again. All I know is that we will be friends for a long time.
I just need help with how to handle this situation and how to get over someone I never went out with.
Thank you :) (link)
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I totally get how you feel. Me and this guy had a thing but we never went out. The only difference is that I was 2 years younger and he left for college.
I think you should make the most of what you have left. It couldn't hurt to ask him to hang out right? I mean you'll hardly see him after all this so there won't be any harm in it. I think you should just enjoy what the two of you have right now and make the most of it.
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he dumped me then kept texting,year after the breakup he text..think bout u all the time,I'm not happy,wish I was with u...so I waited it out then I text and then he told me 2 let it go..he sent a random text bout nothing..we started to talk then I asked if he was going to leave his gf and he said no...wtf?did he mean any of the previous things he said?how can he b so hot then cold? (link)
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There are some guys I know who are like that. There could be a million reasons why he is acting like that. It's possible he likes to talk to other girls, flirt with other girls, play other girls. He doesn't know what he wants. If I were you, I'd move on. He doesn't seem like he's worth it. Waiting around for a guy to break up with his girlfriend is not good and totally pointless. You'd be better off with someone else.
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A few days ago, my boyfriend took me to his house just to hang out. Eventually we started stripping. We were about to do it, but then I got really nervous, put on my cloths, and left. I haven't talked to him since. What should I do so that I won't get nervous next time? Will it hurt? Will I bleed?
~14
~Female (link)
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You shouldn't try to do it again. You're definitely not ready. You're scared and nervous so it's not going to be a good experience. On top of that, you could get pregnant.
You should wait till you are older and ready to have sex. Whether or not you are physically ready, there is no way you could be emotionally ready for sex. It would take a huge part of you.
Just wait.
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I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now with my best friend. We met online and just a few months ago met face to face for the first time. I am 19 and female. He is 18 and male.
Sine the beginning of the relastionship I have questioned if I really want to be together. I've told him before that I question it and have been close a few times to breaking up. I love him, but as just a friend or a love interesting I am unsure. I dislike hurting him, and feel I do so no matter what choice I choose to do; break up or stay together and keep question it. Which is why I seek advice and get another point of view. (link)
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If you aren't happy with the relationship and you keeping questioning it, then you should probably end it. You shouldn't be with someone who you aren't sure of. You'll just keep questioning it and it won't be good for either of you. You're young and have a lot going for you, don't be tied down when you're unsure if this is what you want.
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Hey, 18/f
Okay so basically I'm just wondering is it necessary to tell your boyfriend EVERYTHING?
We have been together for two and a half years and he knows pretty much everything about me as do I him.
But there is one particular incident in my past that I don't feel comfortable discussing with anyone. I don't want him to think differently of me telling him about it just isn't an option.
He asked me before had I any secrets and I just said no then he said If I had then all of this is for nothing.
It's not like I'm lying to him or anything there are just certain things I like to keep private. Surely that's allowed?
I asked my mum and even she says she has stuff my dad doesn't know about.
Does this make me a bad person?It's literally just this one thing.
Any advice appreciated thank you in advance. (link)
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It's totally fine. Of course there are some things you just don't want anyone to know about. If it's not something that could hurt the both of you then you don't have to tell him. Like one of the people below, me and my boyfriend tell each other everything, but we don't want to know about things that happened in past relationships. So yeah, you're definitely not a bad person just because there is one thing you don't want to share. Doesn't even matter if it has something to do with a past boyfriend or if it's something completely different. You're all good.
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I'm a female in 7th grade & I'm completely mature for this young age. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months, he's a freshman ( 9th grade ). We have had so many ups & downs but we've made it through. About 3 days ago he broke up with me. I was devistaded, torn, oh so lovesick. I'm nothing without him. He's also my neighbor which makes things worse. He tells my friend that he left me because he heard things about me, didn't have the same feelings anymore. He told me that he fucked up & broke my promises. A couple weeks ago I promised I would never cut or do anything dumb to myself, I put it down on his LIFE. He did the same with me except he couldn't do drugs, smoking, and drinking. I suppose he got " crossfaded " & broke up with me. All I really want is US back. I'm wondering if there's hope? He said he wants to get back together but one of his feelings doesn't. He's been my first everything to be honest. We've had so many memoires it's hard to forget him. I just want him back. (link)
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I know how you feel. There is a chance you guys could get back together but I think you should move on. Although it will probably take awhile and you'll be thinking about him a lot. If he's confused about what he wants then it's not worth it.
You guys have only been together for 3 months, it's not very long. But I get it, cause for middle school relationships it's longer than most.
You are so young and you have sooo much time and it doesn't need to be spent on this boy.
You guys had good times and good memories, you'll never forget them but you could always make new memories with someone else :).
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Hi. I'm 14/f and my boyfriend an I have been talking about having sex. He really wants to and was respectful enough to just ask instead of trying to pull my pants off, unlike my ex's and I've told him that I don't want to and he knows how I feel about the whole thing so he hasn't asked that question exactly, but he has hinted a couple times and got the same answer and then yesterday he brought up the topic of masturbating and right away this came to my head;
If I don't have sex with him but still satisfy him somehow (by masturbating for him & letting him watch and masturbate if he wants to) then is that wrong? Of course I don't want to tease him by telling him that I have this idea and then not do it so my question is;
Is this wrong? I'm 14/f, virgin and I want to stay virgin until my wedding, by the way
Thank you for all answers! (link)
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Well in the end, it is all up to you. You probably need time to think about it.
I started messing around with a guy when I was 15. I'm still a virgin. But pretty much every guy wants sex. Make sure he knows that you want to wait till you're married and doesn't bring it up all the time. I had problems with that guy because he really wanted it after we kept messing around. Things ended really bad. So yeah, I regret everything I ever did. But I'm happy with who I'm with now and everything going on. I wish I waited for all that till now.
Anyways, it's your choice but I'd wait unless you're completely sure of what could happen and you're feelings for this guy.
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I'm not sure what to do here. I've had this HUGE crush for a year now. He's cute, funny, and super nice. I've told my parents about him and all my friends, but you know, I haven't told HIM! I'm nervous of what he might say or if he'd like me back. I always try to look pretty or act hard to get, but we're both tween age and I guess at that age, he doesn't like girls like that. His cousin tells me he likes me, but she lies sometimes so I dont know if I should trust her.
Should I tell him I like him and if so, how should I do it so it's not awkward? P.s. we're both friends. (link)
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Well since he is your friend, you have to think about what would happen if he didn't feel the same way about you. You wouldn't want to lose him as a friend.
Maybe you should hint around it and see how he is. Check and see if he's a little flirty with you and likes talking to you and lots of eye contact, ect.
If you do think he might like you, you should tell him but be sure to accept it if he doesn't.
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I'm in love with my boyfriend but he literally gets mad or upset with me about everything. It's really bad he will get pissed off if I beat him in a video game, or if I don't stay over his house for an extra hour because I don't feel good, if I stop texting him for a couple hours because my hands are full. It's just ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, he's such a sweet guy and really nice to be, never abusive or anything like that...but it's just a bit ridiculous if you ask me and I don't know if I can handle this. I want a relationship where I don't have to worry so much about doing or saying the wrong thing because with this guy something always seems to make him mad or upset. Oh and were both 19 btw. (link)
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Well I think you should talk to him about it. Tell him everything you're feeling and if he can't handle it, then you won't be able to handle him. When you do talk to him about it, make sure it's calm and make sure it doesn't turn into a fight. He needs to understand that you have a life that isn't just all about him.
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I don't understand. I was talking to 2 of my Indian friends today, and they said that they and their parents are against it. But I don't understand how they're okay with having interracial friendships, but interracial marriage crosses the line, because of the different cultures. If people of different cultures can get along, what's stopping them from getting into a relationship, if they're attracted to each other? How can you be a true friend to someone else if you look down upon someone from their culture? That's just racism.
I asked what if the guy was PERFECT in every single way, even grew up in India with indian culture, but didn't have Indian ancestry, and it was still a no. That just seems stupid to me. Even if the guy didn't have Indian culture that doesn't mean you two can't fall in love, and make things work. Heck, just because a guy is Indian doesn't even mean you'll necessarily work together. If the love was true, and not just based on looks, they'd be able to overcome cultural differences they face. They can't be THAT different from each other, in terms of life style and views, otherwise why would they want to get married?
One of my friends said something about the two families needing to get along, and to "stick to her race" cause of fear of backlash from society, from dating out. But I don't understand why two families from different cultures can't get along just the same (Indian families aren't the only ones that are big and very family-focused, among other things. I relate to my Indian friends, because I come from an African family, so I get the whole "being a foreigner" thing, "ethnic food" and am more understanding of their other issues, but I feel like they feel like I don't understand at all), or why you should care about society thinks, if you're in a relationship that makes you happy.
One of my friends even admitted to having a crush on a Korean, but why should she, if she only thinks it's fit to be with another Indian? And it's like they get offended by Indians in interracial relationships, and Indians who have some "white" ancestry in general. Personally, I'm black, and I'm attracted to all races of guys.. I mean an attractive person is an attractive person. And of course, having common interests, in a way. Being from different cultures doesn't necessarily mean you have different interests, I have friend around the world and can talk to them like anyone around where I live. people aren't THAT different from one another, especially when there's similar interests
It bothers me that people let race get in the way for no reason. I love my friends "of the same African culture" just the same as my friends "of different cultures". I tend to have more shared interests with people of different cultures, actually, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up in an interracial relationship in the future. It just bothers me that people try to bash them, when none of it even matters, cause we're all humans, we're technically not even different races.
I don't get the concern over the children, too, cause I've grown up in 3 different cultures (in 3 different continents!), and I'm just fine, so I don't see why that should negatively impact a child. I want to teach my children to see themselves as humans, not by "races", and acknowledge the cultures they're being brought up in. there's no need to worry about if they're "black" or "white" or "asian", or etc. those terms are obsolete. I mean I acknowledge that people look different but my parents never taught me to really care much about race, so it's just shocking to me how divided our world is over nothing.
I just want to somehow show this to my friends cause it's something I feel strongly about, but idk how. I mean I'm not saying that they MUST date someone who's not indian, but I want to get them to realize that it's not wrong if they felt an attraction to someone not indian, and wanted to date, or possibly marry them. I've heard about some people getting disowned for marrying out and I think that is just ridiculous. The child was only worth who they married? And even if the person was great in every way, race alone makes them inadequate? What kind of love is that?
but I mean idk, at the same time I don't understand arranged marriages (I get parents suggesting that two people should try dating, but I don't get why people should be forced together, even if they hate each other, cause I've heard of such a thing occuring. I wouldn't want a love story like that, if their relationship ever even develops into that special kind of love) so I guess I have a lot to learn about Indian culture (geez, but even India has MANY different cultures. next time I see them I'll ask if it would be okay to marry another indian with a diff culture..)
I don't get the whole "preserving Indian culture" thing either. I tried telling my 2 friends that they're more than Indian now since they've spent most of their formative years in America, but it's like they dont want to acknowledge that they've been influenced by the life here, when whether they like it or not, they have been. I don't see why it's wrong for cultures to mix, for cultures to change. culture should be individual, whatever make you happy you know. and parents should support whatever makes their kid happy and healthy (link)
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Yeah I know people like that. It's just the way they were brought up. Like the person below said, they'll make their own mistakes, ect.
I'm Indian, well I'm like half Indian. My dad is Indian and my mom is white. My dad left India and met my mom here. So my parents don't care about what race I date.
You shouldn't care what society thinks when you're in a relationship with someone you really love. I've seen a lot of couples that have been arranged in marriage that are happy and do love each other but yeah, there are plenty who just deal with it because "that's what they're supposed to do"
I guess it's something that you kinda grow up with. Well maybe your friends might realize that it's not wrong.
You probably will never be able to change what their parents think and if they do start dating someone of a different race their parents will probably be pretty unhappy. It's sad but it happens.
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Ok, so this boy who is in my grade, and 12, (I'm 11 soon to be 12) really hates me, and I want to talk to him when Spring Break is over. Unforchanetely, (please exuse my awful spelling) every time I try to practice what I'm going to say in my head, I either get insulted after "hi" or there is a really really awkward silence. What should I say after "hi", asuming it's the awkward silence option? Oh, and a few addition details is that he is always surrounded by a bunch of people and if you didn't figure this out for yourself already, I have a crush on him. Kk, thanks, any advice helps! Just no advice telling me to not talk to him I yet that enough from my friends! Thank you! :D (link)
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Boys can be really stupid sometimes. The reason why your friends are telling you not to talk to him is because he's a jerk. Guys who insult you aren't worth having around and aren't nice people.
If you really do talk to him, just make small talk like how was your day or tell him about something cool that happened earlier. Or talk about school.
Anyways, don't push yourself on him either. Keep it calm and cool.
I'm pretty sure you can find someone better who won't be so mean and insult you. Those people are a waste of your time.
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Hey, I'm 20, my boyfriend is 19. We've been dating for a year. When I first met him I knew he was no good. I knew he was doing a lot of drugs but he told me that was his "past" and that he was ready to stop and move on. Our relationship was OK, I hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years since my last boyfriend had been emotionally & physically abusive. My current boyfriend had a friend named Maria. I never liked her. She was always about the drugs, sex, and raves. I knew they were best friends but she was always trying to convince him to do drugs and I really needed him to stop. So I told him to choose. Either he picked a future with me or drugs with her. He said he picked me. Throughout the 2011 year I learned he was occasionally still doing drugs and talking to her. I flipped out & we'd break up. But only for a few days. The 2012 year had been going amazing for us though. He seemed as though he had changed and he was treating me so kindly. Then Maria contacts me and tells me she had sex with my boyfriend in 2011, we had broken up for 3 days, and he had sex with her. This tore my world up. I knew something was up and every time I asked him he would deny it. A few days ago he finally admitted to it. He told me he had been on drugs and wasn't thinking straight and he was "heartbroken" so he went looking for her and it happened. Then he said after wards he was so disgusted with himself that he didn't want to see her ever again. But he did. Like 3 more times. These 3 months have been great. But last year tore me apart. So now, I don't know what to do. Do I stay because I love him or do I leave because he never respected me to begin with. Oh yeah, he got syphilis from her & gave it to me. (link)
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My opinion is that you should leave him. No matter how many times he says he'll change, he never does. He always goes back to it right?
Even if you stay with him you're always going to be having doubts about if he's lying to you. That's not a good and stable relationship. You're going to have trust issues with him. He's messing himself up and losing a good girl. He's immature and needs to grow up and you can do so much better.
So, if you guys break up then he'll go back to drugs. Nobody can make him change, he has to do it for himself. That's when you know you can tell he's doing better if he is actually not doing drugs when you haven't asked him to.
He'll always going to lie to you about it.
This guy is bad news.
I hope you find someone new who is so amazing and treats you well. Good luck!
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Oh god where to start. Well Im 13/f and I currently have a boyfriend, he's my first ever. He is also 13 and he has had 1 girlfriend before me. He is amazing, so super sweet and always knows the right things to say. He is cute, funny, nice, sweet, and everything anyone could ever wish for in a guy. He is also pretty cheesy, but it compliments me so i dont care. We have been dating since November.
We had this one conversation on facebook about fishing and I told him I've kissed a fish for good luck before. Me and him havent kissed yet only hugged and he said "Im not kissing you then :P) and I was like ok.. and then the other day I was making KD and I was Skypeing with him while I was making it. I told him I was a bad cook and I burnt my self 5 times. Then he said, since he wants to become a chef, "Its ok, I'll cook". Im kinda confused though cause he says it like we are going to get married in the future. :/ Im 13 though! I still have so much more of my life left and he also asks alot, "Would you ever break up with me" and I always say "No" because I love him and I dont want to end things with him but all relationships come to an end. So I dont know but I think he plans on marrying me, :S Help!
(link)
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So many couples do that. My last 3 boyfriends did that with me. I knew for a fact when I was 14 that I was not going to marry the guy I was with. If it bothers you that he says that stuff then tell him. Just be cool about it though. Just tell him it makes you feel awkward or something but you do really care about him.
I always just went along with what my last boyfriends said. I didn't want to crush them and be like, "Uh no. I'm not going to marry you." I did tell one that I didn't want him to talk like we were getting married though.
Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.
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Is it ok to be taller than your boyfriend? Im a couple inches taller than him and my friends say its weird... (link)
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People have different preferences. Don't let what others say bother you. If you like him then it shouldn't matter.
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My boyfriend of four years and I broke up about a month ago and within a week I met another guy. He was older, a grad student on exchange from Europe. Since I studied abroad last year, we had a lot in common and hit it off right away. We ended up seeing each other the next night and he stayed over at my house. We did not have sex or anything and I was honest with him, telling him that although I was technically completely single, I wasn't ruling out getting back together with my boyfriend. Less than a week later we did get back together and I cancelled on a date with the other guy who was very supportive and happy for me. I know I made the right decision getting back with my boyfriend because I do love him and things have been difficult because we have been long distance for over a year now, but sometimes I wonder if I missed out on a new and exciting experience. I just am not convinced that it would have been worth throwing away what I have. Did I do te right thing? (link)
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It's all what you're feeling. It is good that you didn't have sex with him because that should take more time but if you're not happy with you're boyfriend and you're having second thoughts you need to figure things out. If you love your boyfriend and you want to stay with him, then that's fine, stay with him. But if you keep having second thoughts and you don't know if you want your boyfriend or you want to date around then you might want to break it off. Good luck.
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last night i was looking at my boyfriend Facebook and some girl posted a status saying "I hate sleeping alone, I need a boyfriend with money" he clicked on like and told her "I have money, a living room and a kitchen" she just said "hehehe" but every time she wrote something he would like her comment! There is another girl that i don't want him talking to because she has feelings for him and he knows this. Well last night she wrote a status saying"I didn't went to school!~My clock" He licked her status. Why would he do that.? I just don't understand him. I don't want to tell him anything because I already talked to him about it, but look now. Im so confused. What do you suggest me to do? or if you were in this situation what would you do? :'( (link)
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I'd be so annoyed and upset. I'd talk to him again because if there is no trust in a relationship, it won't be a good one because you'll always be thinking if he's talking to another girl. It's just too stressful and it hurts. So bring it up and just say that it really makes you uncomfortable when you make comments like that, ect. Don't yell at him just talk to him.
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I am 17, female. My best friend is 17 and male. I have known him for nine years, we met in third grade. We were each other's pretty much best friend. I can go to him with anything, I have no problem telling him what I feel I can't say to other's because he will never judge me. He tells me a lot of his problems, too. When I text him upset, he can tell and he asks immediately what is wrong, and vice versa. He struggles with very low confidence because he has a brother who, in his eyes, is perfect and he can't measure up. So, I have to pretty much tell him everyday how great he really is or else he would get upset. He sings and plays guitar, he knows I love his singing voice, so when I ask, he sings for me. We are going to Europe for a music trip in three weeks together and my science teacher is being the biggest douschebag, while my friend is in AP Physics and I am in Chemistry, I had asked him if he could help me get ahead in Chem so I wouldn't be behind when we get back, he said he can try and we stayed after for 2 hours going over Chemistry work, after everything was finished he asked if I understood and I replied that I was so, so. He went over more things with me to help me better understand and he promised we won't leave until I am pro at Chemistry, even though his dad was home from the UK after being away for 2 weeks, he still stayed with me and drove me home after. My friends all say he loves me, his friends say I love him. I think we are both just great friends. A random person came up to me in the hallway after my friend put a cat sticker on my locker and gave me my favorite flavor jolly rancher and said "God, just date already, oh wait, everybody knows you two love each other except you two." Again, we think we are great friends. I reinforced that idea to everybody today when about 12 people felt the need to tell me he was with another girl at a music festival. When I asked my friend about it, jokingly, he didn't give me a straight forward answer which gave everybody reason to again, believe that he is "trying to make me jealous" or he realized he "cant be with me so he's 'settling'"
From an outsider, what do you think? Are we just friends? Thanks! Sorry if it's unorganized and the ideas are everywhere, I just typed what I thought. Thanks again! (link)
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Well if you don't have any feelings for him then don't let people bother you with that. People assume anything. Your friend might like you but who knows, he might just feel the same as you and you guys might just be comfortable with each other and only see each other as friends. Don't worry about it if you don't like him like that.
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Should I be offended if a guy I'm interested in takes an hour to text back? :/ thanks! (link)
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That's annoying but you don't need to be offended. Lets hope he's just a really busy guy.
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Im 16 years old in 10th grade and it seems my weekday routine is Step #1:Wake up. Step #2:Do not kill self. Step #3:Sleep. Step #4: Repeat. I have 1 or 2 "friends" at school that aren't really close they are just "friendly" to me. I have some close friends that I hangout with every weekend but during the week its so hard for me to get out of bed and go to school so i am low on attendency. I don't necessarily get bullied but I do see people pointing and staring and talking about me a lot which really makes me REALLY upset. I guess I am very sensitive. I usually come home for lunch and cry then go back to school and ill often cry at night. My parents and friends are aware of this and I go to a counselor but it doesn't seem to help at all its been getting worse and worse. I think im so ugly and I know i have a good life im not poor and i have family that loves me but I'm just so sad and I want to die. I don't want to commit suicide but I've definitely thought about it before. If I don't have something to look forward to at all times I get really depressed I usually look forward to the weekend and hanging out with my friends but now its just to hard to make it through school the whole week because it seems like I just get judged. My grades are getting low even though it seems like I try so hard I can't get them up. I try to do little things to motivate me to get myself out of bed like doing my hair a new way and things like that and it worked for a while but not anymore. I like to sleep a lot because cant feel sadness when I'm sleeping. I've never done any drugs. I'm not good at anything (seriously)I hide my face with my hair and I am emo I cut myself sometimes. I'm just tired of living....I just want to love myself but no matter what I do I just cant. (link)
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High school sucks. I was like that when I was in 9th and 10th grade. I would spend half my time crying. Cutting yourself is a big problem. You can't face that alone so you need to talk to someone before it gets out of hand. Trust me. You sound like a really good girl. All you need to do is learn to love yourself. So talk to your parents or a counselor at school. No 16 year old girl deserves to feel this way. Things will get better from here.
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13/F
i cut myself, arms, wrist, legs. & i want to stop but idk how. i've tried the rubber band trick but i doesnt work it makes me want to do it more. :/ & everytime my friends confiscate my scissors, blades, etc. i get really mad and i do it even more. Help? :/ (link)
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Okay I've been where you are. I started cutting when I was 13 too. I'm 17 and a senior in high school and I still have problems with it but I'm getting better. When I started I didn't think I'd be doing it for so long. My parents found out and got mad at me, I was yelled at, ect.
So here's the thing, you need to get help. Trust me, you can't let this run your life because it will if you don't get help. So talk to your parents or a counselor at your school. Trying to stop yourself won't work unless you talk to someone other than your friends.
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