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secrets: is it necessary to tell your boyfriend EVERYTHING?
Hey, 18/f
Okay so basically I'm just wondering is it necessary to tell your boyfriend EVERYTHING?
We have been together for two and a half years and he knows pretty much everything about me as do I him.
But there is one particular incident in my past that I don't feel comfortable discussing with anyone. I don't want him to think differently of me telling him about it just isn't an option.
He asked me before had I any secrets and I just said no then he said If I had then all of this is for nothing.
It's not like I'm lying to him or anything there are just certain things I like to keep private. Surely that's allowed?
I asked my mum and even she says she has stuff my dad doesn't know about.
Does this make me a bad person?It's literally just this one thing.
Any advice appreciated thank you in advance.
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You don't need to tell each other every little detail of your life. Unless it is something that is harmful or something bad you might want to consider telling him about it. My boyfriend knows things about me that I've never told anyone before and if anything it makes us closer. I know things about him as well. I guess what I'm trying to say is in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner about what you want to. It's up to you about what you want to tell him and what you want to keep a secret.
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No not at all, you don't have to tell him unless you want to. He should understand that too because he probably has something about his past he doesn't want to tell you or ever talk about
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No not at all. Having your privacy doesnt make you a bad person. There are certain things you can always keep a secret. If you are going to be uncomfortable sharing this particular thing with your boyfriend, then dont do it. You do not have to be guilty. Everybody has a right to have a personal life (as long as you know you are right). But however sometimes letting things out which have always bothered you to a trust worthy person can make you feel light. That is again based on your discretion of who you are comfortable talking about it to.
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It's totally fine. Of course there are some things you just don't want anyone to know about. If it's not something that could hurt the both of you then you don't have to tell him. Like one of the people below, me and my boyfriend tell each other everything, but we don't want to know about things that happened in past relationships. So yeah, you're definitely not a bad person just because there is one thing you don't want to share. Doesn't even matter if it has something to do with a past boyfriend or if it's something completely different. You're all good.
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No, not at all honestly unless it effects your relationship or helps you understand you... it shouldn't really matter.
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It isn't bad to have at least some privacy. My boyfriend and I are the same way. We are very open with each other. I tell him things I never have told my mom or my closest friends. Although there is a certain extent to what you can and can't tell, I don't think you are a bad person. My boyfriend doesn't want to hear about my past sexual experiences, and I don't want to hear about his. We made a deal before we dated so we didn't get jealous. I have about one or two things I have kept from him for a while. But it isn't life threatening or threatening to our relationship.
The past is the past. It makes no sense to dwell on it and mention it. If he asks about your past, tell him it is already happened and does not need to be discussed, and that you're only looking forward to the future and the present with him. There is nothing bad about wanting some privacy on a uncomfortable situation. I hope I helped!
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