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he cheated on me, blames drugs
Hey, I'm 20, my boyfriend is 19. We've been dating for a year. When I first met him I knew he was no good. I knew he was doing a lot of drugs but he told me that was his "past" and that he was ready to stop and move on. Our relationship was OK, I hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years since my last boyfriend had been emotionally & physically abusive. My current boyfriend had a friend named Maria. I never liked her. She was always about the drugs, sex, and raves. I knew they were best friends but she was always trying to convince him to do drugs and I really needed him to stop. So I told him to choose. Either he picked a future with me or drugs with her. He said he picked me. Throughout the 2011 year I learned he was occasionally still doing drugs and talking to her. I flipped out & we'd break up. But only for a few days. The 2012 year had been going amazing for us though. He seemed as though he had changed and he was treating me so kindly. Then Maria contacts me and tells me she had sex with my boyfriend in 2011, we had broken up for 3 days, and he had sex with her. This tore my world up. I knew something was up and every time I asked him he would deny it. A few days ago he finally admitted to it. He told me he had been on drugs and wasn't thinking straight and he was "heartbroken" so he went looking for her and it happened. Then he said after wards he was so disgusted with himself that he didn't want to see her ever again. But he did. Like 3 more times. These 3 months have been great. But last year tore me apart. So now, I don't know what to do. Do I stay because I love him or do I leave because he never respected me to begin with. Oh yeah, he got syphilis from her & gave it to me.
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Do not associate with drug users and dealers, they are black holes and will pull you into their world. Even people who have cleaned up will have a tendency to regress. I am not saying drug users are doomed but they have to want to be clean in order to become clean for good. If they talk about their drug using days as if they were the good old days, they are likely to regress. Also even though you don't use drugs, being around it will cause you to be guilty by association. It is wrong, its not fair, but that is the way it is. You are reflected by the company you keep. I know it is hard especially when you like the people and know they have it in them to change.
No amount of your caring can change a person who is a user, unless you are willing to give your heart and soul to helping. From experiance with a beloved friend who is an alcoholic. I gave until it hurt, and when he pissed all over what I did for him it hurt me to the point I had to walk away.
It never feels good but it hurts more to be a door mat.
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My opinion is that you should leave him. No matter how many times he says he'll change, he never does. He always goes back to it right?
Even if you stay with him you're always going to be having doubts about if he's lying to you. That's not a good and stable relationship. You're going to have trust issues with him. He's messing himself up and losing a good girl. He's immature and needs to grow up and you can do so much better.
So, if you guys break up then he'll go back to drugs. Nobody can make him change, he has to do it for himself. That's when you know you can tell he's doing better if he is actually not doing drugs when you haven't asked him to.
He'll always going to lie to you about it.
This guy is bad news.
I hope you find someone new who is so amazing and treats you well. Good luck!
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He's hook on drug's and her. You made him pick. He pick you but has not been true to you. So why stay(other then the fact that you love him) if you stay I'm 99.9 sure that he's going to hurt you again. How muck can your heart take? Leave now so you will not have to know how far you can go.
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oh my goodness you should break up with him right now then and there i m 100% sure that he is not the right person for your future. you should please because he never respected you to begin with.
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wow... well i would say if it is meant to be, you guys could come back together. but considering he has issues with drugs and all. i think it would be best if you break up. break ups are hard because you know he will try and come back and talk to you but you have to stop yourself from responding. if you go a whole 2 weeks with absolutely no contact, who knows maybe that would show him how much he hurt you and maybe he could change his ways. when you give yourself a break it offers you a chance to reflect on how the relationship was when you were together. it give you a chance to better yourself and reflect on your life and what you want. its hard but its the only thing you can do. and i think you need a break because he didn't treat you right and you don't deserve that. if you really love him then you should let him go. and that doesn't mean forever, but it also could mean forever. you'll give him a chance to reflect on how he treated you and he needs that and the only way for him to see that is if you leave completely for at maybe 2 weeks or maybe a month? but give it a try. good luck, keep your head up and distract yourself, make yourself look fabulous, go out with friends, go on walks do things that make you happy.
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