My boyfriend is flirting on facebook... what would you do in my situation?
Question Posted Wednesday March 7 2012, 8:02 pm
last night i was looking at my boyfriend Facebook and some girl posted a status saying "I hate sleeping alone, I need a boyfriend with money" he clicked on like and told her "I have money, a living room and a kitchen" she just said "hehehe" but every time she wrote something he would like her comment! There is another girl that i don't want him talking to because she has feelings for him and he knows this. Well last night she wrote a status saying"I didn't went to school!~My clock" He licked her status. Why would he do that.? I just don't understand him. I don't want to tell him anything because I already talked to him about it, but look now. Im so confused. What do you suggest me to do? or if you were in this situation what would you do? :'(
KatieDurec answered Friday March 9 2012, 8:18 pm: He is an ass. He shouldnt treat you like that. If he has time to flirt with some girl on facebook he doesnt deserve you. I've been in that situation and me and him talked about it but it didnt stop. I say move on. Good luck :) [ KatieDurec's advice column | Ask KatieDurec A Question ]
lightoftruth answered Thursday March 8 2012, 9:25 pm: I'd be so annoyed and upset. I'd talk to him again because if there is no trust in a relationship, it won't be a good one because you'll always be thinking if he's talking to another girl. It's just too stressful and it hurts. So bring it up and just say that it really makes you uncomfortable when you make comments like that, ect. Don't yell at him just talk to him. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
D_IS_AN_ANGEL answered Thursday March 8 2012, 6:04 pm: I were in your situation here is what i would do.
Go to his house and in his Facebook account. Make sure he caches you on his account on Facebook. Look really upset and when he asks "what are you doing" say "what is this. are you flirting with other girls!" and if he say "what are you doing on my account" say "I notice you were flirting with someone else and i was hoping i was wrong but- show him what he wrote- this proves i wasn't." cry while saying it. say "explain this" yelling. Then if he says nothing just run away and leave. If he has a heart he will go after you and apologize.
good luck i really hope i helped. [ D_IS_AN_ANGEL's advice column | Ask D_IS_AN_ANGEL A Question ]
Lianna25 answered Thursday March 8 2012, 10:29 am: The same situation I used to be in. he has no respect for you and probablly doesnt take you seriously. guys like that dont wont change thier bad habbits unless you teach them a lesson. Talk to him and tell him that you feel disrepected talking to any girl about the covo and the girl you dont like. And if he acts like he doesnt care break up with him. He shouldnt be talking to other females in that way. Speak up dont let him take advantage of your kindness. Communication and trust is key [ Lianna25's advice column | Ask Lianna25 A Question ]
Carriebeca answered Thursday March 8 2012, 7:06 am: I'm not sure I'm the right person to answer this question as I don't do social networking sites at all. I've had bad experiences with texting, reading things into someone's innocent texts led to big arguments in my family.
Your boyfriends actions sound like innocent flirting; a man and a woman can talk to each other without them being accused of betraying their partners.
However, both these girls sound as if they have a motive of their own, fishing maybe, for a new partner? a casual one-night-stand relationship?
We may never know, and neither does your boyfriend but he seems to be open to 'liking' them whatever they say, flirty or not.
How would he feel if the situation were reversed, I wonder, and you were replying to such comments by 'liking' them?
If you mention this to him, he may well accuse you of nagging. In a perfect world of equality,both sexes woulod be able to behave as they liked without fear; however, the Western world remains under the patriarchal thumb and women are controlled by men in many ways, such as being careless of a partner's feelings.
If you suggested this reversed role situation to him as an example of how you feel about his facebook behaviour, it might encourage him to change his ways, or at least, consider your feelings.
Hope this helps, let me know how yu get on?
Best wishes X. [ Carriebeca's advice column | Ask Carriebeca A Question ]
Xui answered Wednesday March 7 2012, 11:45 pm: What does your gut tell you? It obviously is telling you something or you wouldn't be here asking us...
When a guy is in a relationship with someone then it should be about his relationship with that person. Although in his eyes he has done nothing wrong, I find it rather inappropriate that he would go and flirt with others on facebook also.
What would I do? I would try talking to him about how you feel. Like I tell many others sometimes when you want dirt on someone you got to dig for it. I'm going to go with your suspicion that he's hinting to other girls that he's looking for someone else. Cheating? Well not really. As far as you know he hasn't gone that far but his willingness to do so is not cool. It's a flag and seeing you asked I would leave and move on. Don't feel too bad because this girl he's talking too will be the next one he treats like crap. Guys like him are idiots and sometimes they never learn. Dump him because the road your going down it's either option A or B.... :/ [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
solidadvice4teens answered Wednesday March 7 2012, 8:57 pm: Liking someone's status update doesn't make him a cheater. Maybe he found the above line humorous as it was intended by the writer.
The second statement about missing school because she didn't set her clock is also a benign statement. It doesn't matter that she likes him or not as nothing said nor liked was inappropriate.
Nothing here suggests he's even interested in these girls nor cheating, nor thinking of it. The problem is you FEAR this and jealousy and insecurity are eating at you. RELAX! Unless he gives you ample reason to be concerned don't be as that will push him away rapidly. [ solidadvice4teens's advice column | Ask solidadvice4teens A Question ]
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