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Why are so many Indians against interracial marriage?
I don't understand. I was talking to 2 of my Indian friends today, and they said that they and their parents are against it. But I don't understand how they're okay with having interracial friendships, but interracial marriage crosses the line, because of the different cultures. If people of different cultures can get along, what's stopping them from getting into a relationship, if they're attracted to each other? How can you be a true friend to someone else if you look down upon someone from their culture? That's just racism.
I asked what if the guy was PERFECT in every single way, even grew up in India with indian culture, but didn't have Indian ancestry, and it was still a no. That just seems stupid to me. Even if the guy didn't have Indian culture that doesn't mean you two can't fall in love, and make things work. Heck, just because a guy is Indian doesn't even mean you'll necessarily work together. If the love was true, and not just based on looks, they'd be able to overcome cultural differences they face. They can't be THAT different from each other, in terms of life style and views, otherwise why would they want to get married?
One of my friends said something about the two families needing to get along, and to "stick to her race" cause of fear of backlash from society, from dating out. But I don't understand why two families from different cultures can't get along just the same (Indian families aren't the only ones that are big and very family-focused, among other things. I relate to my Indian friends, because I come from an African family, so I get the whole "being a foreigner" thing, "ethnic food" and am more understanding of their other issues, but I feel like they feel like I don't understand at all), or why you should care about society thinks, if you're in a relationship that makes you happy.
One of my friends even admitted to having a crush on a Korean, but why should she, if she only thinks it's fit to be with another Indian? And it's like they get offended by Indians in interracial relationships, and Indians who have some "white" ancestry in general. Personally, I'm black, and I'm attracted to all races of guys.. I mean an attractive person is an attractive person. And of course, having common interests, in a way. Being from different cultures doesn't necessarily mean you have different interests, I have friend around the world and can talk to them like anyone around where I live. people aren't THAT different from one another, especially when there's similar interests
It bothers me that people let race get in the way for no reason. I love my friends "of the same African culture" just the same as my friends "of different cultures". I tend to have more shared interests with people of different cultures, actually, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up in an interracial relationship in the future. It just bothers me that people try to bash them, when none of it even matters, cause we're all humans, we're technically not even different races.
I don't get the concern over the children, too, cause I've grown up in 3 different cultures (in 3 different continents!), and I'm just fine, so I don't see why that should negatively impact a child. I want to teach my children to see themselves as humans, not by "races", and acknowledge the cultures they're being brought up in. there's no need to worry about if they're "black" or "white" or "asian", or etc. those terms are obsolete. I mean I acknowledge that people look different but my parents never taught me to really care much about race, so it's just shocking to me how divided our world is over nothing.
I just want to somehow show this to my friends cause it's something I feel strongly about, but idk how. I mean I'm not saying that they MUST date someone who's not indian, but I want to get them to realize that it's not wrong if they felt an attraction to someone not indian, and wanted to date, or possibly marry them. I've heard about some people getting disowned for marrying out and I think that is just ridiculous. The child was only worth who they married? And even if the person was great in every way, race alone makes them inadequate? What kind of love is that?
but I mean idk, at the same time I don't understand arranged marriages (I get parents suggesting that two people should try dating, but I don't get why people should be forced together, even if they hate each other, cause I've heard of such a thing occuring. I wouldn't want a love story like that, if their relationship ever even develops into that special kind of love) so I guess I have a lot to learn about Indian culture (geez, but even India has MANY different cultures. next time I see them I'll ask if it would be okay to marry another indian with a diff culture..)
I don't get the whole "preserving Indian culture" thing either. I tried telling my 2 friends that they're more than Indian now since they've spent most of their formative years in America, but it's like they dont want to acknowledge that they've been influenced by the life here, when whether they like it or not, they have been. I don't see why it's wrong for cultures to mix, for cultures to change. culture should be individual, whatever make you happy you know. and parents should support whatever makes their kid happy and healthy
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I understand what you mean and it would stop a lot of the racism in todays society although you have those families who were raised by there parents and grandparents and how they were raised. They just dont like change they would feel their families would be ashamed of change and alot of families will disown their children for stepping out. Even Amish if you go start dressing deferentially or doing things different they will disown you and then they dont have family and that can be scary
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Yeah I know people like that. It's just the way they were brought up. Like the person below said, they'll make their own mistakes, ect.
I'm Indian, well I'm like half Indian. My dad is Indian and my mom is white. My dad left India and met my mom here. So my parents don't care about what race I date.
You shouldn't care what society thinks when you're in a relationship with someone you really love. I've seen a lot of couples that have been arranged in marriage that are happy and do love each other but yeah, there are plenty who just deal with it because "that's what they're supposed to do"
I guess it's something that you kinda grow up with. Well maybe your friends might realize that it's not wrong.
You probably will never be able to change what their parents think and if they do start dating someone of a different race their parents will probably be pretty unhappy. It's sad but it happens.
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You are right. Your friend's approach is irrational, it is prejudiced and it's not necessarily best for their future children.
However, the same ways it's right for cultures to shift and individuals to make choices - your friends are entitled to make a stupid choice, for irrational reasons, just because it's important to them and they want it that way.
The best thing you can likely do for them, is encourage them to respect and value themselves, and believe in their own ability to choose what is best for them, and not to restrict or narrow their lives and experiences. Remind them that they can share their own beliefs, values and culture with ANYONE, not just their children, or someone from a similar background. Remind them that partnerships aren't about what looks best to those around the individuals, but what works best for the individuals involved.
It IS ridiculous for parents to pressure or disown a child for choosing a romantic partner of a different race - but it's also real. It does happen, and it's a real concern and worry for some young people. It's okay, and understandable for your friends to carry those fears and anxieties.
So, instead of fighting with them over the issues of race and culture, remind them of their own strength and ability to make good choices. They might still really want a partner who is of a similar culture to them - and even if that value is silly and irrational, even if you disagree and are right to disagree - this is one situation where what is important to them, what they feel works for them, what gets them to closest to the life they think they want, trumps any reasonable argument you can offer.
So don't argue. Support, encourage and respect their ability to choose well.
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