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Hey I'm Laura. I love giving advice and helping people out. If you ever have a question, drop one in my inbox! I'm always on, so your question will be answered very quickly. =)advice
OK here's the deal. Me and this kid have liked each other for a few weeks now and he finally asked me out. We've only been going out for 2 days now but its feels like longer. I really do love him, and he loves me. There's just one problem. He's kind of "advanced". I'm only in 8th grade and i've never really been into doing things with guys. For example, I wouldn't give a guy head or handjob anytime soon. He jokes around a lot about this and really wants me to do it but he isn't pressuring me. The problem is, he always wants me to go to his house after school, and for some reason i don't like to go without a friend. I don't know why, but I just can't bring myself to go alone. I love him a lot, but I feel better knowing that someone else is there with me in case something goes wrong. Even if it's one of his friends that's there too, i'm ok, but other than that, i just get a little uneasy. It's just something weird I guess that's going on with me that's making me not want to be alone with him. The other problem is that I still don't know how to kiss and now that I have a boyfriend, I think that maybe that's the reason im scared to be alone with him because i'm afraid of his making a move on me. I don't suppose I would mind too much if we kissed but I still don't "know how to". He sounds mad whenever I don't go to his house. He always wants me to, and he always wants me to go to the movies. That's where my problme of being alone with him comes out. I don't want to go to the movies with him if it's just me and him so I usually suggest a double date but the thing is, my friend would be making out with her friend during the whole movie and it might make me and my boyfriend feel weird so I never want to go. I feel bad saying no to him, but I don't know what to do to not be scared about it. Can someone please help me and tell me what I should do? I would appreciate it so much and i will rate you 5 even if you don't give good advice. Thanks
Kissing is something that comes naturally. It's not something you learn how to do, it's just a natural thing. You shouldn't be afraid to kiss him, but doing other stuff...well that's a different story. Next time he asks you to come over, have a talk with him. Tell him you really like him but you aren't ready for anything more than kissing. Also ask to bring a friend because it would make you feel more comfortable. He might be unsure about this, however. He's likely to tell you he wants some "alone time." Compromise. Say if you bring a friend, you two can still watch a movie together, but only with the friend there too. He should understand how you feel. For the double dating at the movies, why not bring a friend without a date? That way the friend won't be doing anything to make you two feel uncomfortable. Don't let this guy pressure you into anything, and tell him how you feel. =)
~laura~
umm after im finished playin basketball or volleyball, im usually sweating a lot. my face also is very red after practice. is there any way that i can keep my face from being so red? o ya and im 13/f.
Well when you have water drinks try bringing a water bottle with ice cold water. There's not really much you can do about it. It's just a normal thing. You could try heading to the bathroom. Take a paper towel and dip it into cold water, then put it over your face. Sweating and having a red face just means you were working hard, so you shouldn't worry about it too much. =)
*laura
hey um this is kind of awkward, but i'm in 7th grade and i belive i have met "the one" and me and him want to go all the way (sex), and i am totally comfortable with it, but my parents arn't. should i do it with protection, or listen to my parents and not do it at all, but my dad is the one whos conserned my mom doesn't care. i've already talk to them about it, r u still a virgin? if not then how old were you wen you lost your viginity, please.... im so CONFUSED! i'll rate!
Don't have sex this early in your life. You may think he's Mr. Right, but in reality he's probably not. Sex is something you should save for when you're older and married. It's something really special you should give to the person you truly love. Now you may think that's the case with this guy, but you shouldn't put yourself through this. People say if you have sex with someone, it takes your relationship to the "next level." This isn't true at all. Many times it hurts a relationship because after you've done it you think, "That's all?" And what if you regret your decision? Maybe not now, but later on you will. But your virginity is something you can't get back. Once it's gone, it's gone. People who have sex, you know, sometimes they tell all their friends and act like it's the best thing. But at night they look in the mirror and think "Why did I give up something so special to me already?" And inside they aren't the proud person they seem to be. What I'm trying to get across is that you will regret it and right now it seems new and exciting, but it's a huge decision. You think you're ready, but once it's done you are going to know you weren't actually. Tell this guy you like him very much, but maybe you should think about sex another time. Please really think about what you are about to do.
-->laura
I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my boyfriend lately. I've been with him almost 6 years and we have 1 child together, our 1 year old son. My boyfriend is usually an all around nice guy who is family oriented and fun to be with. He is a dedicated worker and family man. But lately he seems self-destructive. Keep in mind he works two jobs so he is working 17 hours 5 days a week which he's been doing over a year now. He gets NO sleep, maybe 2 hours a night. That could be what's getting to him. But he is unwilling to make a change. I told him he either needs depression medication or a job change or both. So he's been extremely mean to me lately, turning everything I say upside down and picking fights with me in front of our son. He seems to not be caring about anything and he's so cold and hard inside. I prefer not to say exactly what, but he's been getting into something substance related, he's having like a relapse of our old party days or something, he's got the wrong friends. He actually took something out in front of our child and I had to pull him from his high chair and take him in the other room. He's like, "what, he doesn't know what's going on." and I'm like, "it' doesn't matter it's the act." Also, he smokes cigarettes and I hate cigarettes and we have an agreement not to smoke in the house. But he's been smoking in here anyway after I go to bed. I don't believe me and my child should have to suffer for his bad habit, he should take it outside. He knows my wishes but goes behind my back anyways. He would normally never do this. I'm not a mean girlfriend, just a good mother. So this is totally not normally him and I don't understand what is happening here. All he does is bitch about life and say how he's going to die early and stuff and I'm so sick of it now. He never wants to do anything anymore with us as family. I don't want our son growing up in this environment, but also, I really love and care about my boyfriend and know that something deep inside him is really wrong and I would hate to turn my back on him, but am tempted to kick him the fuck out, he's really pressing my buttons, it's like he's seeing how far I will go with this. Also, our sex life is nothing to complain about, just so you know. Is this something we may be able to get passed or is this an ending he has created and he's going to lose everything that's good in his life? I know it's up to him to make a change, but how much should I take? Once it's over with us, that's it, it's over, that's why I am putting off the end until whatever sets me off, sets me off. Please help.
I really want you to stay with him. He sounded like such a great guy until this working got to him. When he comes home from work, take him aside so you can have a deep conversation. Tell him you love him very much and you only want what's best. Ask him to go to the doctor for treatment. Suggest for him to find a different job with less hours. Tell him how he's behavior has effected your family. You need to connect with the man inside that you fell in love with. If he agrees after your discussion, make arrangements. If he still pushes you away, this may be the signal to kick him out. I really hope it doesn't end like that, though. Without him you'd be a single parent and you would have to work or find some other way to get money. Please, try your hardest at getting him to go out and receive help. It's the best thing for him, you, and your child. Good luck =)
..laura..
i like this guy and he kinda likes me but all my friends say hes really bad and they call him pot head and stuff like that. but i dont think hes bad at all. i kissed him at the movies and every one was like eww and stuff like that. but i really like him. what do i do? thanks.
If you like him, forget what your friends say. It's possible they say that just because they are jealous. You don't have to listen to what they say; if you like him go for it! =)
//laura
I have this friend who can get on my nerves so much because she just tries to control everyone! well many people i know complain about her and it is so annoying. she is always in my face like am i your best friend and i made you a picture but im not gonne give it to you and do u hate me, and AHHH ITS IS SO ANNOYING!!! i like want to scream my head off when im around her and answer all her questions "truthfully" and AHHH!!!!!! but i cant because she like gets my friends mad at me and why do i care? AHHH WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
This so called "friend" is sure not acting like one. First off, you have to talk to the friends she's making get mad at you. Tell them she is really hurting you they shouldn't listen to what she says. It's time for you to stand up for yourself and ignore her. If she continues to follow you and talk, give her the cold shoulder and walk off. You don't have to be pushed around. Hang out with your other friends, leaving her in the dust. She will get lonely quick and realize her behavior is causing a loss of friends. If your other friends are true, they won't believe what she says an listen to you instead. No one likes to be left out, so either she finds another person to bug or she will change. You could try talking with her about it, but I'm not sure she'd take it well. Good luck on this! =)
*laura*
ok to understand my question here is what happened before...Sorry it is long!!!
my friend kristina is dating this guy named richard. Well they dated for about 1 year before breaking up because he is constantly a jerk to her. He was possesive and always jealous. When she would talk to her friends while talking to him he would flip out and he would flip out if she talked to other guys. Well, many times before she wanted to break up with him but he would always say he loved her so much and that he would change but he never did. Even her parents hated himZ Well, right before school started he wanted to get back together with her. (**Me and Kristina talked every day**)She wasnt sure if she should because of how he used to treat her. I kept telling her not to because she would only get hurt again. Well, she is dating him now and she totally changed. SHe never talks to me or her best friend Kayliee anymore. We both said that if she keeps this up that when she needs we might not be there anymore. What can I do to make her see what is going on and that he is a jerk without hurting her feelings or anything.
Kristina is probably very confused on what to do now. Richard is saying how much he loves her, but is also keeping her away from her friends. She is accepting what this guy is doing to her, which is not a good thing. Kristina may not accept what you need to say to her, but it's dire she hears it from you. Tell her you really think he's a jerk and he's hurt her too much. Let her know that she shouldn't let him control her like this. Kristina is so caught up in his tangled web of lies she will likely be upset and confused. If she doesn't believe you, don't think your words were useless. I bet right after you have the conversation she will think to herself about what you're saying. Kristina will realize inside how he really makes her feel. She's going to figure out everything on her own. Kristina is not hanging out with her friends anymore because he's such a jealous person. She's trying to steer clear from all the things about him that hurt her and go for the better things. He says he loves her, but if he really loved her he wouldn't be so controlling of her and her own life. Give it time. Sooner or later her sensitivity will drop and they will go their own way. You're a good friend for caring about Kristina's feelings, but I think she's going to learn this lesson in life by herself. =)
//laura
I'm 16 years old.. and like every girl.. my hearts in a jam
So of course theres a boy involved, not just any boy... the one at school that everyone knows. The hot football, homecoming court senior guy that every girl has to look twice at. And I'm the girl that is "one of the guys" nothing more nothing less.
He's in my class and we have hung out a couple times... and then there have been 2 times where he has come over just me and him... I'm a virgin, and he's not... and a little on the skanky side
Yea, we've kissed... and he has wanted to have sex with me and i want to with him but i said no both times. He still asks me and i always find some way to say no
Hard to get is a fun thing for me so i always tell him I hate him and he couldnt have me if he tried, how hes wrapped around my finger... and it seems to be working cuz he does what all boys do.. call you some dumb names.. he calls me "over achiever" and just the way he does stuff makes me think he likes me... and i tell my friend jessica all the stuff he says and she is sure he likes me...
but when people talk about him they say things like hes easy and gets with everyone... I just dont know what to do.. I love that we have our time together but i kinda want him to myself, but i dont think thats possible... I'm not the kind of girl who gets completely attatched and gets all puppy-love-writes-his-last-name-with-my-first type of girl...
should I give into what i want without being with him? Do you think he has ANY attraction towards me?
Thank you for listening to my story
Yes, it sounds like he likes you. Through what you've described, I think he's the sort of guy who likes to flirt and be with all the girls. If you want to have sex with him to show him you're different than the other girls, I don't think you should. If he's not a virgin, I assume sex is something he does for pleasure, not because he really truly cares about someone. Sex is something special you should save for when you're married with the love of your life. If you want to show you like him, I suggest doing it in another way. Keep playing hard to get and request more time hanging out with him. Flirt and show your affection. Believe me, sex is not the way to get him. I've heard so many sad stories of girls thinking a guy would love them after having sex, but he never again called them. I'm not saying that's going to happen to you, but I really hope you save sex for a better time in your life. Your only 16, you've got your whole life ahead of you! If you keep spending time with him, maybe he'll see you as something more than "one of the guys." Just don't give into having sex with him because sooner or later regret will catch up with you. I wish you the best of luck with him, and I hope you become his one and only. =)
-laura-
Well, about four years ago, my father divorced my mother. It took a little over three years for the divorce to go through. During that time, my father treated me like crap. He was constantly yelling at me, picking on me, and just making me completely miserable. On time, he told his family that I should go to fat camp, and they all laughed at me. He's called me "fat, ugly, stupid, and a piece of sh**." I tried running away, but he caught me, and dragged me back. He also dropped me off on the side of a highway in the middle of winter, and drove off. He lead me to become so depressed, I would hurt myself.
Their divorce was finaliazed, but we had to move our of our house and move in with my grandma. I still visit him on Fridays and Sundays. He's been making us look at houses for him, which makes me really upset. He won't support us at all because he claims he has no money, but he owns his own business, and I've done some detective work, and found out how much he makes. I hate going with him because all we do is look at houses, and it bothers me because we had to move out of our house. My 16th birthday was in September and not one person from his side of the family realized how old I was. My father didn't even have a cake for me. This was one of the most important birthdays for a girl, and he totally ignored it. He just left yesterday to go with his girlfriend to Florida, and didn't even invite us, and also waited until the night before to tell us he was going. He doesn't plan on seeing us when he moves to Florida in a couple of years. Should I just stop goign with him? I'm 16-years-old, and I would rather spend my Friday nights with my friends. I want to have a father, but not one that makes me feel so crappy. What should I do? Should I continue to visit him for the sake of having a father, or should I just forget about him? Thank you so much for helping!
Omg that almost made me cry. That is completley unacceptable for a father to do that to his own child! You should tell your mom what's been going on, and you really need to tell her you've been hurting yourself. You don't need to hurt yourself hun it's not your fault. You shouldn't try to keep in touch with your father or his side of the family as long as they are treating you this poorly. They will only make fun of you and treat you like you're nothing. Everyone wants, NEEDS, to have a father. I have no choice because my father died when I was three, but I've been living without one. It must hurt you a lot to know your father doesn't treat you well, but you'll always have your mother and her side of the family to support you and be there for you. If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, you can consult with your friends too. You don't have to be alone in this. I can't put in words how sorry I am for you, but I hope you can make it through. If you need anything more, I'm here for you.
~laura
okay so this is the deal i have always had boy friends but they never lasted over like two weeks and 1 month at the latest. well this year i met this guy and we have been goin out for like 3 months! and i realyl really really like him alot i am really attracted to him in many ways but recently hes been getting really seriouse! i mean im only 14 and hes all like "o babe i love you i care about you alot i really wanny be with you for along time" and im like "uummmm yea.." i mean i really do LIKE him and i dont think im ready for love yet! wut am i gonna do? i mean i dont wanna break up with him i like him alot and it would be soo diff w/o him! help help help me please!! ASAP
Aww! Tell him he's moving a little too fast for you. Let him know you really care for him, but you aren't ready for love yet. Since he really cares for you, he will hopefully udnerstand and respect your feelings. You shouldn't be too shy to tell him because he won't think you're foolish or anything, he likes you. You don't have to break up with him at all! =)
\\laura
I bit my lip like a week ago and ik i should pick on it or anything but i did on accident and idk what I should use for it to be less noticeable...ik that is a really odd ? but i need help! lol thx!
Try some medicated lip gloss (but get a flavor so it doesn't taste so bad.) Or Vaseline heals lips pretty good. Put it on at night so you don't need to taste it but your lips will heal. lol I don't think it's a weird question, it happens to the besk of us ;-)
..laura..
i met this guy, lets call him chad, who was a friend of a friend. we went out for about two weeks and then broke up. lately hes been calling me telling me that he still likes me and stuff but he doesnt know if he wants to get back together. he makes me cry almost every night, but for some reason i still cant let it go. i want to be with him so badly. all of my friends keep telling me to just leave it alone, that hes a jerk and its not worth it... but i cant let it go. what should i do? should i tell him that i still like him or should i just forget about him?
Maybe he's not sure if he wants to get back together because he doesn't know if you like him. You should tell this guy you still like him too when he calls. If he really liked you, he would know right away he wanted to be with you. He could like another girl, he could just be thinking whether he wants to risk it again.
If he still doesn't know after you tell him, you should start to forget it. True love never dies, so if he can't make up his mind then I don't think ot's true. If you do get back with him, that's great. If you don't, just remember there's other fish in the sea. You'll be alright. =)
\'laura'\
i can you get over a guy?
In a girls life, guys come and go. Many will break your heart. When trying to get over a guy, one of the main points is that it will take time. How much time depends on how much you liked him. In order to get through it, you should try getting rid of the memories that are hurting you. Put away any pictures, notes, or other memories. Find a new hobby that takes up a lot of time or work on a current one. Have sleepovers with your friends or go to the mall. Maybe keep your eye out for other guys. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. =)
|*laura*|
i have to do this thingy in front of my class.. which is 36 people and i have to memorize it... its a monologue. and im scared. i think imn gunna go out there and like freeze!! what do i do? 13/f
Yep, it's normal to be nervous. Just think, no one is going to laugh at you or anything if you mess up. Practice in front of the mirror and your family or friends. Be clear and project your voice. If you sound confident, you'll feel more confident too. Keep practicing! Right now you're afraid of doing bad, but once you start presenting it you'll see it's not so bad. Sometimes if people in my class mess up, they'll make a joke about it and people laugh it off. If the sight of your classmates make you feel nervous, look right above them at the back wall. That way they think you're looking at them but only you know you aren't. It will be fine! Good luck =)
//laura
16/f.... this may be a stupid question, but what are those people called that you talk to about your problems and you tell them everything and then they give you advice and everything is confidential. They do it for a living. Nothing SERIOUS is going on in my life (ex. I'm not pregnant, I don't go drugs, I'm not a lesbian, etc.), but I feel like I can't talk to my parents (about guys or whatever) I never have and I probably never will. I'm an only child and I've been the center of their lives for 16 years and I hate it. I always have...I wish I can share the spotlight with someone, but thats not going to happen. Sometimes I wish they didn't care about me AS MUCH as they do. I feel like I need to go see one of those people because I've kept so much inside of me all my life and now I think I need to deal with a professional who can help me. And I'm afraid of a lot of things (I always have visions of disturbing things in my head, but thats a different story). How can I tell my parents I need one of those people without hurting them?
Those people are called physchiatrists. Another term you might hear is "shrink". Tell your parents you'd like to talk to one to let out your problems. Let them know you are glad they care about you, but you feel you'd like to talk to someone like them. =)
::laura::
hi theres this guy that likes me and wants to have sex with me cool!!!! but theres one problum hes 35 and i'm 14!!!!!! :~( what should i do he said if i don't i'll be sorry help!!!!!!
Hun, he's 35. What would he want with a 14 year old? No, that's not cool he wants to have sex with you. That's illegal. He says you'll be sorry if you don't, which means he will possibly force you. You need to contact a trusted adult, like a parent, right away before he tries to hurt you. Don't hesitate to get an adult, and stay away from this guy by any means possible.
-laura
Hi, I am deaf in one ear and i can talk. and have speech. i want to be singer some day.. i hoping someone show me how to writ songs and stuff like that
thanks
that's great you want to be a singer! when you write a song, many time it rhymes like a poem and has good rhythm. The song should have a theme, for instance, maybe a guy cheats on a girl and talks about it. For inspiration, listen to songs on your favorite radio station. good luck sweetie =)
..laura..
I recently ran into a guy who I have known since we were little kids.It's been a long time since we've seen each other,and I always had a crush on him when we were young,and I didn't wanna let myself feel it again but when we ran into each other it brought back all those feelings.Anyway,my BFF,tho I love her,she...well,sleeps around a lot,and she right away started saying how hot this guy is and how much she wanted to *get* with him.I asked her to please not do anything with him because I do still like him,and it would hurt my feelings a lot.She said she can't guarantee that she couldn't do it,and that she's "taking a chance" with him.Basically,she's gonna go 4 it anyway.She says he told her he couldn't date me because it's me(meaning we go back so far as friends and our families were real tight).And she tells me he asked if it was ok if he called HER sometime.But when we were all hangin together he was acting interested in me and seemed...less than amused or interested by her.It's breaking my heart that she's gonna do this.The thought of them together makes me sick to my stomach.I've had nightmares,been unable to sit still,felt sick to my stomach,all because I'm so upset over this.But she says she basically doesn't care,and that she's not gonna fight and I can "take it how I want".What should I do? Even the mere idea that he would be into her is mind boggling to me,and especially cuz he really wasn't all actin like that,he kept huggin me and talkin about old times,and he even talked to my mom on the phone for God's sake!And the idea that he would ever be into her makes me feel sick.I cried all night last night and all morning this morning. HELP!!Thanks,I'll rate ya!
Hun, I really think your friend is lying to you. If this guy is acting like that when he's around you, he would not say that about you. He's acting like he's interested in you, but your friend is so jealous she's making up these lies. If he doesn't seem to like her at all, he wouldn't sleep with her. If you can't get through to her, maybe he can. Take him aside and explain what your friend is attempting. Ask him to set her straight if he really doesn't like her, which it seems right now like he doesn't. You've been suffering without him. I really hope you tell him how you feel, because it's possible he feels the same way. Try calling him more. If you see him in the hall or something, catch up with him and have a chat. Really, if this guy doesn't like her you don't need to be feeling so bad. =)
[[laura]]
okay well i have been talking to this guy online and on the phone almost every night for about a year and 1/2 and even though i have never actually physically met him i think i have fallen in love with his personality. we only live about an hour away and i am friends with his cousin who lives near me, so its very possible that we could meet whenever we wanted to. well i do want to meet him to maybe try to start a relationship, but the problem is that i sent him a fake picture of me. not just one fake picture, but i have sent him websites..TONS of fake picures saying that they were me. so now he has this image of a beautiful girl in his mind. its not that im afraid he will think im ugly at this point, but i am afraid to admit that i sent him alllll those pictures. its extremely embarassing.. and i didnt do it just once, ive done it ALOT!!! i dont know what to do..if i never meet him then it will break my heart and i think i will be missing out on something really great...what should i do? i know this is pathetic..please dont be rude i just need help!!
The best thing, whether you meet or not, is to tell him you've been sending him fake pictures. Since you two are making such a good connection, you shouldn't be surprised of his answer. He may be a little shocked, but if he's really a nice guy he'll understand and won't hold it against you. A good thing would be to talk to him about how you feel and why you did it. It's going to be hard for you but honesty is the best policy right now. If he wants to see the real you, you can arrange a time to meet.
{{laura}}
well every year i have a choice if i want to go to tennessee for christmas to visit my family. its my one chance to go 2 states away.... to get away from all my problems and to really just think. but i would be gone for 2 weeks, including christmas and new years. the problem is.... i dont want to leave my boyfriend. i love him and i have never spent new years eve with a guy and i want to spend it with him. i want to start out the new year with him. hes having a new years eve party too...and his family is having a christmas eve party and everyone brings their gfs and bfs and he wants me to go, but i cant if im in tennessee. i cant choose to go or stay. he is telling me to go so i can think and have time to myself and get away from all my problems for a while. but i would miss him SOOOO much and i dont know if i should go or stay.... what should i do?
i think you should stick with the tradition and go down to tennessee. you can have a good time. bring a picture of your bf if you start to miss him and remember that you are there to have a good time. before you know it you'll be back with your guy again. you two can make different arrangements to be together, and you still would have gotten to see your family. =)
{{laura]]