I completely agree with the answer below- texting (just like email) has got to be the most impersonal form of communication. You cannot tell exactly how the other person feels or what they're thinking. Do not text him back asking if he's mad at you. It will make you seem weak, and will probably throw him off or even annoy him. You just have to wait; the ball is in his court now.

Also, keep in mind that guys tend to be very frank and to-the-point with their messages. Do not be put off by a simple, "yep." You asked him a simple question ("don't you?"), and he gave you a simple answer. Wait and see if he calls you back, or texts. But do not text him too much, you will appear to be desperate.

Now, there is a four-year age difference between the two of you, and as you mentioned, you two pretty much grew up together. He might only see you as a family-friend or he might think you're too young for him. But anyway, as I said, it's up to him to call you or whatever, if he is interested. You have to wait, and in the meantime, do not think things over too much. Forget the whole texting thing...to me, texting is only good for confirming appointments or setting a place/time to meet- simple things. Conversations cannot come about through texting. So if you really want to keep in touch with this guy, you have to step up to the plate and communicate normally. If he does not respond positively, if at all, then you have got to get over him.

It seems like he got a wam bam, and you have yet to be thanked, ma'am. Guys like him do not LIKE girls, they just like to use them. You are nothing more to him than a "hit and quit."

If he really likes you, he would make an effort to keep in touch with you, instead of losing contact right after having his way. He is nothing more than a player, and you do not deserve an idiot like him. If he is talking to another girl, it could very well mean that she is the next "one" on his list (of girls to screw). Forget about who else he is talking with. Forget about him. When you see him, act your natural self- do NOT go out of your way to be nice to him. Do not initiate conversations- he does not deserve your time. Just forget about him and move on- he is not worth it AT ALL.

One last thing- when I was 19, I really liked a guy, and found out he had a girlfriend (almost right after he "hit and quit" me). I thought (in my naive mind) that maybe, just MAYBE he liked me too, and would at least want to talk to me. NOPE. This guy you described, like the guy I was with five years ago, is nothing more than a player. I have learned since then that NO guy (or man) is EVER worth your dignity, and has no right to toy around with your body and emotions. All women, at least the ones with a shred of decency, deserve men who will treat them with respect.

You could try using acne pads, like Clearasil or Stridex, on the affected areas. I don't know how long it'll take to clear up the acne, but it should tone down the redness, or at least prevent it from getting worse. What ever you do, do NOT touch or pick the pimples- they'll get bigger and may spread to other areas.

Between now and then, make sure to exfoliate your back every time you take a shower. Use a rough exfoliationg cloth or glove, and make sure to go over the area repeatedly. If you exfoliate regularly, you should see significant improvement in the long run. Pimples are caused by clogged pores..dead skin, dirt/oil can all contribute to that. Exfoliating your back 2-3 times a week will get rid of dead skin and keep your skin smoother. It wouldn't hurt to also use acne pads- Stridex PowerPads (with benzol peroxide) work well, or you could try clearasil or Oxy... but all in all, as long as you stop touching the area and exfoliate regularly, your acne will start clearing up.

Your sister is being insensitive. Although it is normal for siblings to fight occasionally, it is not okay for her to ignore you or tell you she hates you. I'm sure she doesn't hate you, but her behavior leads me to believe that she is being selfish and inconsiderate toward you.

Now, that said, try to think about any little thing that could have happened in the past. Did you two get into a fight the day she left for college? Do you guys always argue, or does she pretty much ignore you and treat you unfairly just for the hell of it?

Regardless, she really should understand that you are her sister and that you two no longer live together...more of a reason for her to get her act together and try being nice to you. Next time she visits, try having a talk with her. Even if she really doesn't want to (and she probably won't), tell her you need to talk with her, and calmly explain to her exactly how you feel, without getting angry or anything...she will only listen if you are calm. Now about your mom, tell her that you understand all sisters fight, but that this is something that has been going on for a long time and really hurts you.

In the end, it could be that you, at the ripe old age of 13, are more emotionally mature than your 18 year old sister. If so, congratulate yourself for "getting it," and understand that all of this is only your sister's loss.

It is actually fairly common for people to experience seizures- it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you. There are several types of seizures, and each type can cause people to exhibit different symptoms. Trust me, this is not psychological. It could be a number of things. You will need to see a Neurologist and explain all of your symptoms, your history of seizures, etc., and then they will do an EEG (monitors electric activity in your brain).

I had developmental seizures from ages 11-16. I was put on medication for that time, and haven't had a seizure since I was 16. Medication helps to control seizures, and after a while, some people (like me) just grow out of it and no longer have to take meds. If you think you are experiencing seizures, then you should definitely talk to a Neurologist ( they specialize in brain activity/seizures), or have one referred to you by your own doctor.

What exactly happens to you during these fits? If you are having a seizure, then you can lose control of your body and even lose consciousness for a little while- the symptoms are different for different kinds of seizures. You need to see a specialist, neurologist and get some sort of test done, especially an EEG, and maybe also an MRI, to see what could be causing this. No matter what, be completely honest with your doctor and tell them about any and all symptoms you have had. See a specialist, if needed. If you have any questions, message me.

I wouldn't use soap- that could irritate and dry out the area. Try using a feminine wash (it's soap free), like Summer's Eve. There is also a sensitive skin formula...you can find it at any drugstore, by the feminine protection aisle.

And aside from a douche, there isn't a lot you can do to clean out the inside of your vagina. It is self-cleansing as it is, so even if you try, there might still be some old blood/blood clots up there that have not been released. If you have sex with your boyfriend, there might be some old blood clots regardless. He will understand if he is mature enough. You can still explain to him that you just ended your period...

Keep in mind that your vagina tends to be drier right after your period (the day or so after), which can cause friction during sex. If it is, then make sure to be completely "ready" down there, or even to use some lube, if needed. Anyway, I generally stay away from the soap (especially scented kind), and only use a feminine wash.

I used to have the same problem in college. I did not get enough sleep, and when I did, it was too much (mostly to catch up, or out of plain old laziness).

Your question has pretty much been answered, but there is one thing to add. Quality of sleep is often more important than quantity. If you are lying in bed tossing and turning for a couple hours, and only get five or six hours of good sleep, then the hours spent lying awake do not count. However, if you consistently get more than eight or nine hours of sound sleep- as you usually do- then you are getting too much sleep. Your body is too used to being asleep, and that can cause you to feel tired and run down all day.

It would help if I knew how old you are. Teenagers generally need more sleep than adults. The hours of sleep you need per night depend mostly on your age and lifestyle. It will be difficult for you to get out of your current sleep cycle at first, but once you do, you will feel so much better. Just try getting up earlier than usual, and force yourself to do something active, even a walk around the neighborhood. Try going to bed on time, and waking up early- and keep that routine. You will feel a lot healthier and more energized. And to add, eat well and make sure you get proper nutrition- that can also play a role in either making you feel tired and sluggish, or energized.

According to a search, teens need between 8 1/2 to 9 1/4 hours of sleep per night:

http://www.sleepfoundation.org/site/c.huIXKjM0IxF/b.2419127/k.9C6C/Sleep_and_Teens.htm

This is a difficult situation to be in, and there are no easy solutions. It is never a good idea to be with someone who is attached- it means that he is pretty much cheating on his girlfriend. As the person below said, it really is a matter of either you or her. You need to talk to him about this and let him know exactly how you feel. You cannot come second to his girlfriend (or anyway, she shouldn't come second to you).

If a guy is willing to get involved with another girl while he is attached, that's a bad sign. He should be honest with his either you or his girlfriend, and stick to one girl. Even if you were to be the only one in his life, how do you know he wouldn't do the same to you? I am not saying that he is a cheater, but this is not a good sign. He should be mature enough to either call if off with his girlfriend, or to tell you it won't work out with you- one or the other. You need to be the strong one in this situation, and explain things to him. Still, try to keep in mind that him falling for you while he is still in a relationship with someone else is not a good sign.

Honesty is the best policy, especially when dealing with a doctor. Being in a gyno's office isn't the most comfortable place to let go, but if you do not voice your concerns and let her/him know how you feel, there is no way they will know how to help you out. If you have any questions or concerns, your gyno is there to help and advise you.

They are going to do a pelvic exam (pap smear), so it will feel a bit weird, but not painful. You should relax as best you can so that your pelvic muscles are relaxed (it'll be easier or you and the gyno). Before you have the annual exam, request that your gyno checks for the common STDs, especially Chlamydia and Gonorrhea (bacterial infections)- they will know exactly what to do. It is MUCH safer for women to find out early on if they do have an STD, as not getting effective treatment can lead to other health concerns (especially reproductive health). Don't be scared. Just be totally honest with your gyno., and let them know that you want to be checked for STDs. They deal with these things ALL the time.

Most likely you are fine and are just worked up since you don't know what to expect. Your gyno will likely be very understanding and can help you out with all your concerns. Just make sure that you always have safe sex, and go in for your annual gyno exam. You will be fine.

As the others have said, it is okay for her to wear a tampon, as long as she is comfortable with it. If not, she can alternate with pads, or just use pads (ultra thins are usually preferred). If she is comfortable with using tampons, I would recommend getting her plastic applicator tampons- they are a bit easier to use, especially for beginners. I started off using Playtex Gentle Glide - there are multipacks available, with regular and super absorbency- she should of course use the tampon that matches her flow. Whichever brand you choose, make sure it has a plastic applicator. She might already know to change the tampon every few hours (ideally 3-4), or you might want to remind her about the necessity to do so. In any case, I would not recommend using tampons overnight- long pads with wings should be fine. I would also recommend talking to her about and asking what her preferences are. You might also want to have her around to choose the tampons.

It's okay not to be over someone you've broken up with a few months ago. If you two were together for a long time and/or you really, deeply cared about him and the relationship, then it makes sense for it to take a long time to get over him.

It really isn't easy to get over a breakup, but I find that a few things seem to help me the most. FIRST, try to go out more with your friends, particularly the ones who are single. Try making an effort to go out and have a good time, without sitting and dwelling on your ex, or even talking about him. When you're with your friends, just focus on having fun and try not to let your ex be the topic of conversation. Hey, you never know, you might even meet someone when you're out with friends. SECOND, try not to mope around the house too much. It doesn't help with getting over an ex, or anything else that might be stressing you out. Go out somewhere- to the gym, walking- exercising helps clear your head and also makes you feel stronger and more positive. It also helps to have a friend to go walking/exercising with. THIRD, try not to think about the relationship too much. It sounds obvious, but if you keep thinking about the "good times," or how much you loved him, etc., you're only going to miss him more. When you find yourself thinking about your ex too much, tell yourself something like, "it's over and done with., now it's time for me to move on." It's okay to be happy for the times you shared, but you really do have to move on for your own sake. It can be very empowering for you to remind yourself that you are your own person and can stand strong with or without a man (or guy) in your life. Just think positive thoughts, and remind yourself that you are strong and can get through this just fine. When the habit comes around to bug you, try some of the above pointers, and you should be alright.

I know how you feel- when you feel down, it seems as though everything in your life is going wrong, and that you are destined to be a failure no matter what. I am sure that you are not a horrible kid, as you say- you only feel horrible about yourself.

It looks like everything that seems to go wrong for you is put on your list of little "failures," and things start adding up. But if you look at things differently, and try to look at what you are grateful for rather than dwelling on the things that are going wrong, then you will start to realize that things really aren't so bad.

First, you need to build up some confidence in yourself. I was just like you in High School, I thought that no matter what, I was going to do poorly in a couple of subjects (usually math/science subjects). It was a self-fulfilling prophecy- I would end up thinking "I can't," and in the end, I didn't. Your attitude has a lot to do with your potential. Looking back, I realize if I had put in more effort, and started working constructively toward my goals, I would have been better off. I am a lot different know, but totally understand where you are coming from. So, no matter what aspect of your life you feel down about- grades, friendships, etc., realize that if you put in some effort and do your part, you will see improvement overtime. If anything, you will gain a different outlook and become more optimistic.

Second, you got into a car accident. Accidents happen. You are lucky that you are alright, and that nothing else happened to you or anyone else. You just got your license-- no one is born a perfect driver. Although it makes you feel disappointed, realize that with practice and experience, you will become a better driver and can avert accidents better.

Third, if a guy gets 'scared off,' it could very well be a sign of his immaturity. I am assuming he is 17 or 18- a lot of guys might shy away ,so it has nothing at all to do with you. You were right in being honest with him and getting your feelings off your chest. What he does is up to him, but do not let that impact how you feel about yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. Anyway, he hasn't talked to you in only a day. Wait a bit and see what happens. If he doesn't respond or talk to you, it's his loss.

All I can tell you is that you are not a horrible person at all... you just need to change your outlook and be more optimistic. Try to talk to someone about it, even try explaining it to your parents (or whichever one of them you feel most comfortable with)-just to get things off your chest. Try to set goals for yourself at school, and get extra tutoring if needed. Even going out with a friend once in a while, or getting into a good habit, like exercising, can do a lot to make you feel more strong and positive.

As some others have mentioned, a lot of guys around that age would use a girl your age for sex. What your friend told you should be a flashing red light for you: he has "hit and quit" a lot of virgins. You cannot see yourself as the exception, no matter how hard it is to accept. You are just another girl to him...in guy talk, that would go something like, just another booty call.

Regarding the whole age thing, although some older guys use older girls just for sex, the fact is that this kid is 17- most guys that age ONLY want one thing. Raging hormones + self discovery = want sex all the time. While it's natural and perfectly normal, it is unacceptable for this guy to be using you, as if you are an object. You might not want to hear this, but you are VERY young. I understand that you are growing, and learning a lot about yourself now, but you really are only 14. We were all that age, as the saying goes, but seriously, you have a long ways to go (as annoying as it may be to hear).

Now, back to your question...if he wants it again, what should you do? Say no, and do not give in. Point blank. He obviously only wants one thing. After a while you never talked, because talking is not what matters to him. Again, sex is on his mind, and you, as a female, are an object he may very well want to use in order to get his way. Now, do you want to be used again? No. So, be strong, and understand that the answer is NO.

I agree with the other columnists. It is very disrespectful of her to ask you what kind of guy you are. Some girls are controlling and resort to wining and fighting to get their way- it seems she is being the same. I see her comments as insulting, and I can see why you feel offended.

Does she fight over other things as well, or just about this? If you see a pattern in her behavior, then you will need to ask yourself if a relationship with her is worthwhile. You have to be firm with her, and let her know exactly how you feel. What you want is for her to respect your decisions- that is exactly how you have to explain it to her. You shouldn't delve into anything, just say something like, you need her to respect your personal decisions. She might start to yell and get angry- which is a sign of her insecurity and disrespect. What you do is up to you, but first you have to set things straight with her. If she cannot accept you for who you are, then a relationship with her (should be) unacceptable.

That's a hard question..but I think that there are some general things that guys tend not to like about SOME girls, including:
(I am 24, F, by the way)..

a) a girl who is insecure about her body
b) a girl who is a pushover (maybe some guys like this in the short term, but most guys find a confident girl to be sexy)
c)whining too much
d) my brother told me this a while back- he hates it when girls drip water all over the bathroom floor after taking a shower...lol, it's random, but mostly true
e)girls who act fake
f) when girls talk about their period, in front of them [guys]
g) gold diggers
h)when girls act like they're "good girls" even if they really aren't...as in, "I'm not usually like this..."
i)girls who are bossy
j)when a girl is clingy

I think the list could go on and on...it would be funny for some girls to list a few things they don't like about some guys too, haha. But honestly, not all girls act this way, it's just some stereotypical things that most guys would happen to dislike.

I think that in general, guys like it if a girl is toned and in shape, if not really "muscular" in the traditional sense. Most guys would find a girl with some muscle definition attractive. Maybe if the girl has a bit too much definition, that might be viewed as less feminine, and less attractive. But anyway, everyone is different- people have different ideas of what it is to be attractive.

It would help if you explained how bad the itching is- is it mild, or severe? If it's a mild itching, it could have to do with a number of things. Remember to always wear breathable, cotton underwear- sometimes wearing the wrong fabric, or wearing underwear that's too tight can cause itching. Also, it might help for you to use a feminine wash- Summer's Eve is good, they also carry a formula for sensitive skin. Use that to wash the area every time you take a shower. A common cause of itching is washing with soap or body wash- both of which can by drying (thus causing itch), or irritating (due to drying ingredients, or fragrance). Only use a feminine wash. You did mention that you aren't ready to shave down there- when you are, remember that a bit of hair is there for a reason, so it's better to trim/groom the hair instead. Too much pubic hair could also cause itching, so it's best to trim. If you notice the itching is not improving, or gets worse..and is accompanied by a bad odor, yellowish or clumpy white discharge, then yes, you will have to get it checked out, as those are common signs of infections (either bacterial or yeast infection). But if you only have minor itching, a bit of proper hygiene will help.

Normally, discharge is milky white or clear, and dries to a pale yellowish color. Your discharge is normal. I usually get heavier discharge a couple days before my period.
Also, around when women ovulate, the discharge becomes clear and has a mucus-like consistency, so it's normal for the consistency/color to change depending on where you are in your cycle. The only time you should be concerned is if your discharge is one of the following:
a) cottage cheese like consistency, accompanied by severe itching- this is a common sign of a yeast infection, which should be diagnosed and treated by a gynecologist.
b) yellow or greenish- with a bad odor, this is a sign of infection.

Here is a website with information on vaginal discharge:

http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html

The main concern you should be having now is that you haven't had your period in two years- that is far too long. If you haven't already, talk to your doctor or better yet, gynecologist, so they can do tests and talk to you about why you aren't getting you period. This could be a sign of various health problems, so you definitely need to see a gyno. to see why you aren't getting your period regularly, and what you can do about it (maybe take medication, birth control, or even have some lifestyle changes). It could be hormonal, or due to a variety of factors...there's no way to tell unless a doctor diagnoses the problem.

This is a good website I came across, check it out:

http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2006/as-20060126p1204-period.php

About getting pregnant, your body can still ovulate, although your periods are irregular. You can have sex, and out of the blue, still get pregnant since your ovaries can still produce an egg. You really aren't sure if your period will suddenly resume. In other words...don't take the chance. Besides, you can still get STD's with unprotected sex, so of course, better safe than sorry.

In short, go see your gynecologist right away...if you don't have one yet, see a doctor, and they can try referring you to one., you need to talk to a professional about this and see what can be done to get your periods to resume- your problem could be hormonal, lifestyle related, etc., so only a doctor can assess the situation and tell you what needs to be done. S/he can also advise you on any other matters that may concern you. And of course, as a little reminder, if you are going to have sex, use a condom every time.

First kisses are not as they appear in the movies- I was also 15 when I had my first kiss, and it was sloppy; neither one of us really knew what we were doing. But anyway, try to imagine how you would feel if your boyfriend flat out told you that you do not know how to kiss, or that you are really sloppy- you would likely feel kind of hurt, or at least embarrassed. There are nice and subtle ways of letting someone know how you like to be kissed, and to hint that they should calm their mouth and tongue down. Before I go any further, I will say that I have made out with sloppy kissers before too. I find that one of the best ways of hinting is just to tone things down yourself. Try to close your mouth a little bit, or just go slower, and he should start getting the hint. Or you could try doing little things like sucking/biting (not hard!) his lower lip, or just playing around- so that he can follow your lead. After a few makeout sessions, he should start becoming more in tune with you. Maybe he isn't an experienced kisser- nobody ever started out being one. Or maybe he was too into it and didn't notice that he was practically eating your face. You really can try hinting at how you like to be kissed, without hurting his feelings. Actions speak loudly, and even little hints like, " I like when you..." or "why don't we try...." could also work.

I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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