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My sister
My sister and I used to be close back when we were kids, but now...well...I try to do stuff with her, like go out on Saturday nights, but she always says, "I hate you!" and she's been saying this for years. I mean, not out of the blue, but...sometimes I'm just so sad that I want to break down and cry, and sometimes I do.
She's 18 and I'm thirteen, and this all started when I was eleven. I have no clue what I've done wrong to upset her! She's like this to only ME! To everyone else, she's a sweety pie.
Last year was her last year of highschool, and when she left for college, she didnt even say "goodbye" to me or hug me, she just hugged my parents goodbye and drove off, ignoring me. Whenever she comes home with her boyfriends to meet us or visit, she doesn't talk to me. I try really, really hard to make her accept me. And whenvever I ask my mom for help, she just says, "Oh, all sisters fight!" But this has gone on forever!
I'm so depressed. I don't understand why all my friends who fought with their sisters long ago are now like, BFFs with them, while me and my sister aren't.
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Your sister is being insensitive. Although it is normal for siblings to fight occasionally, it is not okay for her to ignore you or tell you she hates you. I'm sure she doesn't hate you, but her behavior leads me to believe that she is being selfish and inconsiderate toward you.
Now, that said, try to think about any little thing that could have happened in the past. Did you two get into a fight the day she left for college? Do you guys always argue, or does she pretty much ignore you and treat you unfairly just for the hell of it?
Regardless, she really should understand that you are her sister and that you two no longer live together...more of a reason for her to get her act together and try being nice to you. Next time she visits, try having a talk with her. Even if she really doesn't want to (and she probably won't), tell her you need to talk with her, and calmly explain to her exactly how you feel, without getting angry or anything...she will only listen if you are calm. Now about your mom, tell her that you understand all sisters fight, but that this is something that has been going on for a long time and really hurts you.
In the end, it could be that you, at the ripe old age of 13, are more emotionally mature than your 18 year old sister. If so, congratulate yourself for "getting it," and understand that all of this is only your sister's loss.
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my best friend jamie and her sister laura are kinda the same way. just not as bad, they have an age difference of 5 years also. laura is like my big sister and like one time when she came home from college hher and i sat in her room and talked for an hour but her and jamie dont get along, like laura will rat out jamie all the time about stupid stuff and i never understood why jamie would tell me she hates laura. i think your best bet would be to write your sister a letter telling her how close you used to be back when you were kids and then she just started to make you invisible. and say something like all girls want and need someone in their life like an older sister, and right now is the time i need you the most. do not at all make her upset like oh your such a bad sister you always tell me you hate me blah blah blah. if she is coming home from college soon i wold write it and leave it in her room or something because if you send it to her at her college. who knows when she will read it and her roommate could like throw it away or something. and if its at home then she might be touched by the letter and understand and come talk to you.
best of luck
please let me know how it turns out.
email-xoashhx33@hotmail.com
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I'm so sorry. My siblings and I used to fight all the time, but we're totally good now. I guess it helps that my brother is 19, my sister is 18 and I'm almost 17.
I know you've tried being nice, but have you tried TALKING to her? Like actually talking to her about how she makes you feel? I know it may seem awkward, but I would call her or something, and just ease into that.
Maybe she honestly doesn't know how she's making you feel. So letting her know might make her stop.
If not, I'm almost confident that it will get better as you grow up. There's a 5 year difference, which may contribute to the tension.
--Jack
(16/m)
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