Hi everyone... I've got a Psychology degree so I like to think that i know a bit about how people think and why they do the things they do- maybe i don't know a thing, make up your own minds! Also i work with a youth group of girls aged 10-14 so that helps too! Anyway ask me anything no problem too big or too small and I'll do my best...
E-mail: craazylau@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Age: 22
MSN: craazylau@hotmail.com
Member Since: March 13, 2005
Answers: 240
Last Update: October 24, 2006
Visitors: 15504
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Random Weirdos
View All
Favorite Columnists
karenR
Michele
FernGully
lulabelle
MFS
|
| |
|
i am a virgin but u an seriously thinking about having sex soon. on halloween i think might be the time. but my period will be somewhere right in there. so i was wondering if you have sex right before or right after you have your period, is it more likely you will get pregnet or anything? because i dont wanna get pregnet at all! but i think i am ready for sex. and if i am on my period on halloween can i still have sex and all? i know that might be nasty though. (link)
|
First things first, you can never be sure of when in your cycle you are less likely to fall pregnant therefore you should always always use a condom. Obviously this also protects you against sexually transmitted infections which you REALLY don't want!! If you are on your period then it is physically possible to have sex but you still have every chance of becoming pregnant.
Right those are the facts. Now what you should really think about:
You say you THINK you are ready for sex. Be careful- if you need to think it through (and not be certain about it) are you really ready? Secondly, setting a date to lose your virginity- is this really ideal? Finally are you in a relationship? from what you've said it doesn't sound as if you are. Do you really want to live your life with the knowledge that you lost your virginity to a random guy? It's up to you of course- just a few things to think about!
|
|
omg i hate my parents not really they're making me do stuff i don't wanna do though like they're trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend and i don't want to do it i mean i think i might love him but i'm not sure. i mean i really care for this guy and they don't even care (link)
| |
When they say things like how they want you to split up with your boyfriend how do you react? Do you scream and shout at them and tell them you hate them? If so, perhaps you need to think about talking to them gently about how you feel. Sit them down and explain that this is not what you want and your reasons behind this. This way they see you as a responsible mature individual who is control of their actions and they will take what you say far more seriously. At the same time, this needs to be a two way process. Why are they saying these things and do they have a point in some ways? Perhaps he's not the best choice in a boyfriend for whatever reason or perhaps they're just being unreasonable parents!! Think about it and good luck!
|
|
ok my life long dream has been to study in america (university) and last night i had a dream that i was visiting america for a month or so, but when i was supposed to go back to my country.. i couldn't like things kept getting in the way so i missed my plane, and so on.. and this was really scary in the dream! so like, is this a sign? that im not gonna be happy if i get there? or that i shouldt go there? or was it just a dream?? im so scared please help! (link)
| |
Don't worry- it's just a dream!! Dreams are generally about things we think about a lot when we are awake so that the mind can sort through them and make sense of them (sounds weird but I've done a Psychology degree!) You are probably anxious about going to a different country in the future (even if you are not fully aware of it!) and this is just your brain making sense of what you want to do in the future along with picking up a bit on little worries that you might not even realised you had as these plans you have are so far in the future! So that's probably why you dreamt about America and unfortunate things happening. Dreams do not predict the future- what you dreamt will not become reality- instead what you dreamt is just your brain making sense of your future plans! Go and study in America- I know lots of people at Uni who studied abroad and not one of them had any regrets :) Good luck!
|
|
i'm 16 and been with my boyfriend for 8 months, we havn't had sex but we mess around alot, he's fingered me and i've done stuff to him. one day a few months ago we was messing around and his penis was close to my hole. it was my first month of being on the pill and i've had my periods since. but i've also read symptons that i think i've been experiencing. i've felt "fluttering, sick, i've put on weight and my boobs have got bigger. he's told me i'm worrying over nothing and do to a test if i'm really worried. but couls i be pregnant? (link)
| |
It's highly unlikely as you've had a period since. In fact it may be more likely that the symptoms you are experiencing are your reaction to the pill as the pill can certainly cause these things you've described. However if you are really worried do a test just like your boyfriend suggested- it would do no harm would it!! If the test is negative (which is the most likely outcome) but you're still experiencing these symptoms you may want to consider going back to your doctor and asking to change your pill as different pills can cause different side effects. Good luck!
|
|
Ok, here's the deal...I'm 13/f and all of the sudden I'm starting to really like my best friend, now I know that's kinda normal but here's the catch. ITS A GIRL! What is wrong with me? This isn't normal or right and I dont want her or my other friends for that matter to hate me, but I just can't make it go away! Should I just stay away from her until this weird feeling goes away? Please, I rate high! Thnx in advance (link)
| |
There's nothing wrong with you!! Loads and loads of girls go through this. Most of them get over it but some end up homosexual- either way it doesn't matter. From what it sounds like however, you're not happy with these feelings and therefore it sounds like you're one of the many girls that goes through this phase. It's basically just yourself trying to sort out who you are- you're at that sort of age. Don't avoid your friend- that could mean that she wonders what the hell is going on and then it could get all awkward with her asking questions. Basically carry on as you are- being her friend. Pretty soon this phase will end- i can guarantee it and you'll look back and have a giggle to yourself! Promise ;)
|
|
Hey iam a 17 year old female and I still havn't gotten my wisdom teeth how old are you usually when you get your wisdom teeth? (link)
| |
Ah it varies so much it's like when periods start!! Mine didn't come through til i was 18 and my boyfriend has had x-rays and he doeesn't even have any to come through!! Don't worry and count yourself lucky they're not here yet!!
|
This kid at my school keeps calling me a elephant.I have hit people in the past because of diffrnet things and i dont want to hit him.I dont want to get bad grades.So ive told teachers.Nothing.I dont want to become the bad kid again i have picked up my grades and my teahcers and my parents are proud of me and i love that.I dont want to hurt him.Ive thought about telling my favorite teacher.she loves me.And telling her everyhting that had happend and about scared about hitting him and i want her to talk to him cause if i do he will lose a tooth or somthign and then iss will come.How do i solve this problem with out hitting without anythign of getting in trouble.I cnat ignor him i cant just dont ask why i cant
plz help me anything to help me and ill give u a five right off the bat.
hopfully,
katie (link)
| |
Tell your favourite teacher-you've obviously thought it through and you think it's a good idea and i say go for it. Why get yourself into trouble when you could just get this teacher to sort it? Go for it and good for you!
|
|
Okay I really like this boy (( let's call him Joe )) Well Joe and I became friends this summer and since then we've been best friends. I realized today that I really like Joe but, I really don't want to ask him out because I don't want to ruin our friendship and he also has a girlfriend. What should I do? (link)
| |
If he's got a girlfriend at the moment he's off limits- end of story. There's nothing you can do and it would be unfair of you to say how you feel to him as he's committed to someone else. However, the situation would change completely if he was not with the girl anymore. Then if you want to act on it and say how you feel that's entirely up to you!! But for now leave the situation as it is- it's much fairer on everyone involved. Good luck
|
If a white person called a black person a "nigga" on the computer, is this some sort of discrimination, could that person get in any kind of trouble or anything like that?
Thank you. (link)
|
I think it depends entirely on the situation. If the person is using the word in a derogatory manner and mean to cause offence and they got found out then yeah i guess it's possible they could get into trouble. (and quite rightly too in my opinion). However if it's two friends chatting on the internet and they're joking around and the person knows they wouldn't take offence by using "nigga" it's unlikely the person would get upset and therefore they probs wouldn't get into trouble. Basically it all depends on the relationship between the two people and how well they know each other. However in my opinion i think words like that shpuld be left well alone because not only could they be interpreted as racist but there's confusion about whether it's nastiness or not!!
Just as an aside if you were asking whether the person could get in trouble with whoever manages whatever they're chatting on on the internet i guess it's a possibility but probably not, as again it would be very difficult to work out whether the person meant it in a derogatory manner or not.
|
Is it true if i lost between 5&10 pounds.
my bra size (36c) would onyl shrink a tad bit?
Im 13, and I'm 5'0ft if that makes any difference.
(link)
| |
Unfortunately it's almost impossible to say. This is because it depends on the individual. When someone loses/gains weight they tend to lose it from specific places first. When you've put on weight or lost it in the past have you noticed where you've lost it from first? As if you lose 5 or 10 pounds then this will be the place it'll show and you'll probs notice quite a difference. If you lose more than this then it will begin to show all over and yeah you'll probably lose weight from your chest. For example i've recently lost 10 pounds and everyone says my face is so much slimmer but my bra size has stayed the same. Do you see what i mean? But then again you could be the sort of person to lose it from your chest first! So basically there's no easy answer unless you take into account what's happened in the past!! Good luck
|
okay... I have this friend (lets say her name is Kelley) and shes really cool and stuff. I have another friend, (lets say her name is Jen) who I used to be really good friends with. Now Jen is a lot more "popular" than me and kelley, but she was pretty nice to us up until a few months ago. First, we had always sat at the same table together, and now she is sitting with the kids who are really mean. She didnt say anything to us or anything, and she just sort of ditched us. I was okay with that, maybe she just wanted to meet new people or something. So anyways, Now we have to do a community project for school. Kelley and I are making blankets for children in a homeless shelter and jen wants to deliver bears to the hospital. Shes all mad cuz we wanna do something else so she just switches groups. Shes seemed really selfish to me because she was saying "what kids would want some stupid blankets" and was sayin that "oh this will take too long." She calls us her "little friends" all the time because she thinks her popular friends are more important or something.
So I really dont know what to do. She doesnt know that me and Kelley are mad at her, and I have just kind of avoided her. On the other hand, I dont want to be mean either.
Should I give Jen another chance? Or should I just stay away and be friends with Kelley? (link)
| |
Leave her be. If she wants to be like that she needs to make her own mistakes. Just leave her to get on with it- and ignore her if she wants to be nasty- don't waste your energy getting upset with her (although it sounds like you're the bigger person so it doesn't sound as if that would happen). For the mean time stay away- be civil by all means but it sounds as if she's not worth it at the moment. If she realises she's made a mistake in time then that's a different story. Take each day as it comes- remember a lot of people go through these phases and they need to make mistakes to learn!
|
Hi im 14 years old. And on thursday dec.7th i had sex with my boyfriend. We used a condom but it ripped. It had that stuff called spermacide on it. But im not sure if any of his sperm got in me,because there was a not big but a normal sized spot on my sheets. I just got off my period like 3 days before we had sex. Im not having any syptoms that im pregnant but im having little pains once in a while at the bottom of my stomach. Im not only scared that im pregnant but i dont know how to tell me mom && dad. They dont even know im having sex. What is the percent chance that im pregnant? and any other advise will help. Thanx alot. im so scared.
always- scared.confused.
(link)
| |
There's always a chance that you're pregnant if the condom ripped. Unfortunately that's the absolute truth. Before you start worrying about telling your parents etc you need to go and get a pregnancy test or go and see the doctor. This is so important to do this as soon as possible. The alternative is to be absolutely honest with your parents and then they'll be able to help you out. This is obviously going to be difficult so you'll have to weigh up whether you'd rather do this yourself and go and get a test/ see the doctor on your own or tell your parents. Bear in mind that it's highly possible that you may not be pregnant at all and therefore whether you want to tell your parents unnecessarily is up to you. However if you don't tell your parents you MUST get a test. It's going to be hard but you need to be strong about this.
|
This is going to seem really ridiculous, and I am sorry for asking such a stupid question. I'm too insecure for my own good sometimes, I think.
I'm meeting my boyfriend for the first time ever in 3 days time and we're picking him up at the airport really early in the morning. I want to look my best for him. I never look really good in the mornings; so I'm just wondering where there's anything I can do the night before to make sure I wake up and look and feel nice and fresh. Is there any creams or exfoliation that i should use for my skin, or anything? Should i get up early? Thanks. (link)
| |
Do a face pack the night before and moisturise to make sure your skin is really glowing. Maybe go to bed the night before a bit earlier than you usually would and have a bath the night before to make sure you're relaxed and so have a great night sleep. You might want to consider getting up a bit early so you're totally wide awake when he sees you and if your eyes are a bit puffy from getting up early either use eye cream or but pieces of cucumber on your eyelids. Drink loads of water so you're really glowing! And don't worry too much cos hes not going to be looking his best after a tiring flight!
|
|
do you think it's bad to but everyone the same thing for christmas? like all of your friends? (link)
| |
No course not- its much easier! Thats what quite a lot of people do and no ones gonna think any less of you and if they do they don't deserve the present in any case!
|
|
ok im 13/f and i dont know if im bi or not cuz like sometime si catch myself wanting to "do" things with girls and like i think gurls bodies are cute or "hot" and when i was 12 a girl hit on me went to kiss me and i DIDNT back away...please i dont know if im a lesbien or if girls are just like this please help me i rate REALLY high..thanks so much! (link)
| |
This is quite a common phase that girls can go through especially at your age when they're trying to work out who they are and who they're attracted to. Therefore, thats all it may be- just a phase and in a few months you may feel 100% differently. However alternatively you may be bi and therefore these feelings will stay with you. At the moment who knows?? But relax! Who cares? It doesn't matter at the moment- you're you and nothing else is important. In time you'll work out your true feelings but until then don't worry about it- it's a confusing time for everyone and I'll bet that thousands of girls are feeling EXACTLY the same as you- they just don't want to talk about it!
|
Ok im 13/f and my bf and i are really close weve been dating for 2 year now and we are pretty sure were in love with each other...For REal...and its so weird because when we are just hangin out with all of my bf's friends we are like allways fooling around with each other and like kissing and hugging and i feel sorta..turned on...and i like wanna touch him and stuff...but then when we actually wanna take it a little further he starts putting his hand down my shirt and feeling my boobs! and i chicken out...what can i do to make my boyfriend feel that i want to be like sexually involved with him but i dont wanna be like all the other girls and a "whore" and just do it all at once?
please help i rate fives! (link)
| |
TALK TO HIM!!!! Honesty is always the best way to handle most situations like this cos then everyone knows what's going on. Next time he tries anything you're comfortable with relax and if he tries anything you're not comfortable with tell him he's going too fast. Anyway you don't know if he'll go any further anyway- maybe he doesn't want to go too far either. Lets face it you have been together for 2 years and after 2 years you should be able to honestly tell him how you feel. Just remember don't get too caught up in all this- only ever go as far as you feel 100% comfortable with.
|
|
There's this girl at school that tries to stick to me like glue. We both get to school very early in the morning, and she comes every day to chat. I don't dislike her, but she's rather aggravating and I can tell she has a monster crush on me. Sometimes I can catch her staring at me in he hallway. What should I do about her? She's nice and all, but she doesn't realize how goddamn annoying she is. What would you advise? (link)
| |
Eventually if she doesn't get her feelings reciprocated she's gonna give up. You're just going to have to be patient! When she looks at you, look away. If she speaks to you, talk back but don't say a lot or you could even subtly say that there's a girl you fancy in the year above or something. A bit harsh perhaps, but in the long run you're helping her out as well!!! Good luck
|
|
I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 yrs. We moved in together about 4 months ago. And I asked him before I agreed to move in with him if he thought he loved me enough to ever marry. He said yes. But since we have moved in together I am scared he will never ask me. How do I know if he ever will or not? (link)
| |
He will- because 1) he said he would before which he wouldn't have done if he didn't mean it and 2) he's still living with you! So it will happen at some point. You've only been living together 4 months and thats quite a short amount of time so i wouldn't say he was biding his time. It will happen eventually just be patient!
|
|
Haha, just kidding, I've been dressing myself for years, but the problem is that I've just now discovered my fashion sense. I actually know what looks cute and what doesn't! Before I used to wear hoodies and jeans, or t-shirts and jeans to school every day,(I'm a little bit chubby, so I liked that extra padding to hide it) but now I know what looks ok. The only problem is that I'm afraid to wear it. It's my junior year of high school, and right in the middle of the year is kind of a weird time to "re-invent myself". How do I get over this fear? I want to wear scarves to school, and nice jackets, and skirts, but I'm scared! Thanks! (I'll rate high if your advice is good, which is generally the concept or rating anyway..) (link)
|
That's such a great question! I know you think it'd be kinda random just to re-invent yourself in the middle of the school year but i think that'd be the best thing to do! Couldn't you just start off say wearing a nice jacket with what you usually wear or a nice skirt with what you usually wear? Do you know what i mean? If you phase things in gradually instead of going for the full thing you won't need to worry as much about being random.
Anyway whats the point in spending the rest of the year wearing the same old stuff when you know you could look better but you're just waiting for the next school year to start so it won't seem as weird? Go for it! If anyone says anything just say you thought it was time for a change and have a laugh at yourself- no one can say anything back to that!
Good luck you'll be great!
|
|
Do you think its possible for someone *your best guy friend* to start liking you even though a couple months before he told you he didnt? We hooked up since then and really formed a strong bond along with a great deal of trust and respect for one another. Is it possible? Do you have any stories of this happening? I just dont want to get my hopes up.. (link)
| |
DEFINITELY it's possible. In fact some of the best relationships ive known about happen exactly because they were friends to start off with. Surely if you know loads about each other you're off to a good start and thats exactly why these relationships last! Anyway whats the point in worrying about a relationship that you're having a great time in?? Just appreciate what you have and don't worry about something that's great in your life! Face it you're one of the lucky ones!! Hope it lasts sweetie
|
|