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hurt feelings
What would you do iuf you hurt someone's feelings (someone in your family) and you apologize but they don't want to forgive you?
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I've done that before. not to a family member but to a girl who was basically my sister. She still won't talk to me and I cry and I cried alot when i hurt her but I tried to getover myself because really there isn't much you can do. You just have to give them time and indirectly remind them that you really care for them and you didn't intentionally harm them.
just give their heart time and leave them alone.. i felt like everytime i tried to talk to her it just made things worse.. we haven't truelly talked for over a month but sometimes she says little comments to me and even thought its not talking talking its getting better and stronger each day
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At that point you have one of two options: A. You can sit around feeling bad for yourself, beating yourself up, or whatever, knowing that nothing is going to change. You'll sit around with that horrible feeling in your gut. And what would it be worth? Nothing. Which leads me to... B. You can just not care. Is it easy? No. But, think of this. If you messed up and hurt their feelings, and you made an honest attempt to apologize and make it right, and they wont listen to you, then why should you care? They're the ones being stubborn, probably trying to make your remorse last longer than it should. So fuck them, they're not worth your time and effort, family or not, if they can't forgive and forget. Anyways, when they see that you aren't faded by it, they'll end up forgiving you.
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Hey. It's very easy to hurt someones feelings but a lot harder to earn their forgiveness. A lot of times, people will be quick to forgive depending on what was said. However, there are certain things that can hurt people so bad, that in all honesty, they may never forgive you. I hurt a friend of mine a couple years ago when we had a particularly bad fight and it took her almost a year to forgive me and even still, that friendship has cooled off a lot. All you can do is apoligize and do your best to earn this persons trust and forgiveness back. If you can prove you mean it, they'll probably be more quick to forgive you. Good luck ♥ fabulous
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Give the person some time and space. MOst likely they are just still upset and need some time to cool down.
Just give them space, and smile at them once in a while, and be really nice to them.
Eventually, they should cool down and accept your apology.
Hope i helped! :)
Katie
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Give the person a little time, to think about the situation, come to the person and have a talk with them. Talk about how their feeling & let them talk about how they are feeling. Tell then again how sorry you are, and how much you'd like it if they forgave you. If they don't accept your sorry right then, give them some time, people can't stay mad forever, and the only thing you can do then is just tell them how sorry you really are, and how much their feelings mean to you, and that you don't want them to hurt anymore.
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A verbal apology is a great start. You may have to prove over time that you are sincere and trustworthy for them to accept it. Some people need space and time to mend. We have all been hurt and have hurt others...no one is perfect. Try to let your actions speak for themselves now.
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It depends on what you did..
Somethings even in a family, can hurt SO bad.
Sometimes even more, because it was a family member that said it.
Honestly time can only tell, give the person time, to heal, and to really forgive.
<3
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Give them time.
That's really all you can do. If it was something big, they need to come to terms with themselves. If it was something small, they will come around eventually. Either way, pressuring them will cause them to just be annoyed with you.
If they refuse to forgive you for a long time, write a letter telling them your sorry. Then just wait it out.
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You wait.
Like Razhie said, it can be very hard to forgive someone. You might have swindled them out of money, or you could have just insulted them - both are hurtful and both take time to get over.
By apologising, you have shown maturity and remorse, now you have to act on that. Show this person that you are truly sorry for what you have done by continuing to show that you regret and have learnt from your mistake.
Maybe over time this person may forgive you but there is a possibility that they won't. If this is the case then you can't make them, as hurtful as it might be, you just have to accept that you have done everything you can to make it up to them and that they are being the immature one by holding such a strong grudge.
Whatever happens, learn and grow from this mistake and make sure it never happens again.
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You take a deep breath, and you wait.
Somtimes, with serious transgretions or breaks of faith with people you deeply care about, forgiveness is a loooooong process. As an example, my brother is a recovering meth adict and I love him, but truth be told, I'm not sure I've really forgiven him in my heart yet. He hurt a lot of people with his choices and there is a part of me that is still angry.
What is important, in my opinion, is that you make sure that you have done everything in your power to encourage thier forgiveness. Don't go out and make the same mistake tommorrow!
At the same time, you don't need to drag yourself across the floor to try and win thier forgiveness. You might try telling them, once more, that you are sorry you hurt them, and that thier forgiveness is really important to you, so if there is anything you can do to help them forgive you are up for it.
After that, let it go. You can't control thier actions, only your own. So correct the mistake you made as very best as you can. Forgive yourself, and know they will probably come around eventually, and even if they don't, you'll be okay.
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Well, of course I think you should give it some time, and try to apologize again, BUT when offering the next apology, you must at the same time, "validate their hurt feelings". It would help to say, "I understand why you are mad" "I would be mad if someone had done/said that to me." "You have every right to feel the way you do." And things along those lines.
Another thing....have you had to apologize for this same behavior before? Is this the second, third or fourth time that you have dissapointed this family member?
Also, does the family member have any reason to believe that your apology is not sincere. Think about that, and if you are sincere, you may have to display some different sort of behavior to show that you have "changed" and would not do or say the thing(s) that upset the family member in the first place.
If you can resolve all of thes issues in your heart, and you make any necessary changes, I think the family member will forgive you.
Michele
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Show them you really meant it when you apologised.Keep apologising,being niiiiice,or maby give up something that was really important to me to show them I really meant it.Try to understand why it hurt them so much.Or maybe we woulld both go to a family psychologist together.These things always wind up okay in the end.
♥
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Aww. Over time people tend to forget about grudges they've had or how they felt during the time they got upset. You shouldnt force them to accept your apology but you have said sorry and theres nothing else you really can do. Family will always love each other no matter what so just give it some time and maybe be just that little bit nicer to your relative. Trying to make it up to them is always an option. This doesnt mean you have to go out and buy something expensive and try to buy back their friendship but just do something special for them. Make them dinner, take them out for a picnic.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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You can do two things:
You can:
[A] Accept the fact that they're refusing to accept your apology.
or
[B] Give them some time to themselves & try again later.
If you happen to choose A, just live with the fact that they're not interested in any type of apology from you. If they're that stubborn & that's how things are going to be, so be it. That is their loss. The most you can do is just continue to be nice.
If you go with option B, then give them a few weeks to calm down & get back to themselves & then try again. If they still don't happen to accept your apology, then resort to option A.
You cannot make someone forgive you, that is their choice, but you can still apologize & move on. Just because they cannot be an adult about it doesn't mean that you can't either.
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Wow. That is a tough one. I know there has been a bit of that in my own family. So I know how much it really sucks, not only for the unforgiven one, but for the rest of the family who wishes hatchets would be buried.
The best thing I can think of is to let them cool off about it. When they have had time to calm down, then approach them again with your sincere apology and hope for the best.
It would be nice if we could just make them understand how sorry we are, but it just doesn't work that way.
You just kinda have to wait it out a while and hope they realize that there is not much one could do to deserve a family member not wanting to forgive them. They have to realize that holding a grudge about it just isn't worth it.
So really, it comes down to your time and patience to wait for them to come around.
I know that kinda sucks, but you don't want to keep saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" because after hearing it so much, it will seem to them like an empty apology. Make sense?
I hope it all works out for you soon. :)
ygs-29/f
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The first thing I would do is let them know I understand what I did wrong and that I understand why they don't want to forgive me. I would remind them how much I love them. The important would be to put yourself in their shoes and try to see where they are coming from.
After all, all everyone wants is to be understood. When there is a bond, whether it be family or friendship, between two people, no matter what one person did to the other, the first step in repairing that broken bond is understanding.
After assuring them that, all you can do is give them their space.
I really do believe that time heals all wounds. In the mean time, remind them every now and then that you still hope they will forgive you.
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Move on. If they won't listen to you and won't accept the fact that you're sorry, all you can do is move on and let them live knowing you offered your apologies and they rejected it.
-Ryan
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