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car crash
this weekend i was with my brother and some of his friends and we were all driving around in my new car a 2007 escalade. I was driving adn it was raining and late at night and i have only had my license for about 3 months. we were coming around the corner and hit another car totaling mine and theirs. right away my brother took the blame for it and told me not to worry about it since he has been driving for a few eyars now and wouldnt get in as much trouble as i would. since the other car didnt see i was driving it worked out fine but now i feel awful that he took the blame for this but i know that if i came forward my parents would kill me. what should i do?
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I know it's hard, but you need to get yourself together and confess it was you, too. Your brother is sweet to do that, but it was also wrong of him to not let you be disciplined. Think of it that way. He did the wrong thing but for the right reason. I guess that's really all I can say at this point. But know that you need to take some of the blame with him, and life goes on.
It'll all be okay ;)
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This is a tough one. Your brother shouldn't have lied and you shouldn't have let him. However, the aftermath of an accident is a very stressful moment to say the least, and I don't think either of you can be blamed for not thinking entirely clearly. I've been there and done that.
Please understand that auto accidents will happen, especially to young drivers under poor driving conditions. Rain at night is something that takes getting used to (it probably would have been better if he HAD been the one driving in the first place, but hey, that's hindsight). You probably were not driving recklessly, you just slipped up a little. And yes, you would have gotten in some trouble, but it would not have been the end of the world.
As for what to do now - I think that it would be best if you both come clean, at least to your parents. It is something you need to do together, partly because you both did wrong, and partly because you may need each other's support if your parents are very upset. Obviously I don't know them, but if you were my kids I would understand that it was a mistake made in a very difficult moment.
Whether you should come clean with the law is another matter, because on top of whatever driving violations your brother incurred, there might also be the matter of filing a false report. The District Attorney will not be nearly as lenient as he would have been if you'd told the truth from the beginning, and you can count on having the full penalty applied against you, most likely a Careless Driving charge, a hefty fine and points off your license. Depending on how many points you currently have, you might actually lose your license until you're 18.
It's not fair for your brother to absorb that damage to his driving record or the increase in his insurance costs, but he DID volunteer for it. If I were you, I would offer to pay whatever fines he incurs and perhaps some portion of his insurance, which will surely go up as a result of the accident. At this point, that would be the best and fairest thing to do.
One more thing. Right or wrong, your brother has shown you some extraordinary love and loyalty. Don't EVER forget that.
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If you feel this awful about your brother taking the blame for you, it's for a reason. Confessing will probably lighten your punishment a bit. Your parents will respect you for telling the truth about something that you know will get you into trouble. Since I don't know your parents, I don't know what they will do to you, but some kind of punishment is most definitely imminent. You should talk to your brother and see what he says about it though first. He could get in more trouble with your parents also for taking the blame for you. So if he asks you not to say anything, then you shouldn't feel guilty because he's okay with defending his younger sibling. But if you do really want to confess to your parents, ask him if it would be okay with him if you did so, so he can be ready to get chewed out for being irresponsible too.
Hope that helped!
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if you want to be guilt free then i would tell your parents that you were driving, and explain that it's not your fault. but if you are fearful that you'll get into trouble and you think you could live with that guilt then keep it to yourself. it just depends on what you think you can handle. but that's very nice of your brother, i wish my brother would take the blame sometimes!
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Tell your parents. If you don't, you're going to feel guilty about it for the rest of your life, or at least a long time. Explain that you don't want your brother getting in trouble with them, since he didn't want you to get your license suspended, and you didn't force him to do it. Insurance-wise, it WOULD be a better situation if it was your brother's name on the paperwork, or whatever. Let your parents decide what's best- they'll know more about what would be best for BOTH of you, since they've got life experience and all. The way it works out, your brother might get the blame according to the insurance company, but your conscience will be clear.
Your parents will likely be understanding, especially with the bad weather and eroad conditions. I hope everything works out with insurance & you get your car back as soon as you can!
=]
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i know that this is a horrible burden on you and i can't imagine the guilt you must feel. At one point you need to come clean, it doesn't have to be now, but one day you will most likely have too
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You should know that secrets have a way of coming out. The truth is you are going to feel worse by not telling them. If you tell them the truth you will get in a little trouble but they will forgive and forget. That is something that is far more better than holding a secret that will completely tear you apart. Tell them the truth and you will feel like a giant weight has been lifted off your chest. Keeping the secret to yourself will only hurt you even more.
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This is a moral question, but also a legal one. The right thing to do was to be honest and own responsibility. Avoiding the truth forever is not healthy or very likely to work out for you or your brother. Maybe it was an act of chivalry on his part, or maybe there is another motive for his taking the blame. Either way, when the truth does surface eventually there may be unseen consequences. I don't have a crystal ball, and I don't know your brother, but you need to think about the price you could pay for trying to keep this thing hidden. You could also be involved with insurance fraud here...talk with your brother again about the details of the situation and any risks involved. I hope no one in the accident was seriously injured and that you can work this out and make a decision you can live with.
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Your brother is just doing his job of being a good nice bro. who is just protecting you also. As horrible as this sounds you need to tell your brother that you deserve this and is your fault, everyone makes mistakes but in life we cant lie or else it goes against us. If you let your brother take the blame for it, then yes you are going to be feeling bad etc. but its not right. Even though it could get you out of trouble. It was just an acident you did and explain that to your parents. They are probably going to freak out about it, but at least they know the honest truth. It will make them feel more comforted that you told them that. Just think if you were your parents and one of your other child lied to you and you didnt know but found out sooner or knew. Wouldn't you feel guilty? And maybe even more angry.
Remeber it was just an ACCIDENT.
SInce your brother already told your parents you need to have an honest discussion that you were the one. Because my mom always just asks me when ever we have done something terribly bad. "who did this" and we always have to answer. Ususally its me.
But you see the point I'm trying to make.? This is probably the most hardest thing ever but try to be as nice to your parents and understading as possible. They will see it was your fault. So let your nice brother off the hook and tell your parents it was you. It will make you feel better even if your parents do get extremely mad. Don't worry as long as you told your truth. I promise=]
Good luck with that!
Hope I helped!
♥ KASSIDY
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you shouldn't feel awful! your brother is being a great older brother, you should be feeling grateful to have a brother who cares about you so much. grateful and lucky. :) i know some girls whose brother would yell at them and make them feel even worse for what happened, and on top of that let them get in trouble with their parents. what happened was an accident...and im sure your parents weren't that hard on your brother, and they were mostly glad you two were both okay.
but even if after all of that your still feeling awful, you could always buy him a gift or take him out to lunch, or mayb e do some of his chores, just something nice as a way to say thank you. :)
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I think that you should be honest with yourself and talk to your brother about it, see how he feels about you coming forward. If it is not a good idea, then maybe you should consider sucking up to your brother big time and keeping it a secret. I am sorry about your car. It must be a nice one. I hope that everything works out for you. If you feel even more guilt or anything try praying about it. Prayer changes things and when you dont have anyone else, God is always there.
Good luck.
Hope that I helped.
*Keosha*
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It sounds as if your brother is okay covering for you, but the guilt feeling may not go away. Maybe if you talked to him a little more about it you'd feel better.
If you tell your parents, you'd get into trouble, but you wouldn't feel guilty for letting your brother take the blame.
It's up to you and what would make YOU feel better, but accidents happen and it's really no ones fault in this situation. Maybe if you talk to your parents about it they will understand.
Good luck!
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Just let it slid and keep it between you and your brother. dont tell them beucase they will proably freak out alot and then freak out at your brother too. so unless you want this big freak out fight thing then i would just keep it on the DL.
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As long as you let your brother take the blame for something he didn't do you're going to feel guilty. You may get into more trouble then your brother, but your brother wasn't driving. It wasn't his fault and it's not fair for you to let him take the blame, even if he insisted. You should step forward and accept the consequences of your actions. Or else you will continue to feel guilty.
::Jasmine::
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If you feel this bad, the best thing for you to do is fess up & deal with what's thrown at you. You cannot change what happened, and you obviously can't lie about the situation since your conscience seems to be eating at you.
Even though you'll get in trouble & your parents would kill you, it's better than your brother getting in trouble, right? Just do what you think and know is right, and deal. I'm sure the trouble you'll get into won't be major. Besides, everyone makes mistakes. It'll all blow over soon enough & everything will be fine.
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