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i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year but im starting to have major feelings for an ex boyfriend. i know its very bad of me but my boyfriend now just isnt making me happy anymore and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend lies to me about everything so im to the point i dont know whats real and whats a lie. hes lied about smoking (twice), going to a party, going to school, and to as stupid as how much he spends on something. i just dont understand. he tells me hell change but hes said that since day one and it continues. also on two occasions he didnt go to school once i found an earring and the other time i found an ankle bracelet. i asked whose it was and he told me he didnt know. i told him i thought he was cheating on me and he got all mad and said he wasnt. im just not happy anymore. i love him to death though. but my ex boyfriend and me have been talking the past 3 days and im not sure whats gonna happen but hes making me so happy. ive been smiling nonstop and hes making me feel whole i talked to him yesterday from 1:30 pm all the way til 5 am nonstop. on the internet and phone. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but in the same sense im not happy. but i dont wanna rush it with my ex boyfriend either. please help me <3
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hey gurl!...ok...it seems to me that since your boyfriend isnt making you happy anymore..you really feel the need to have someone by your side...you need to make it clear to your boyfriend now that if he wants to be with you there is going to have to be some changes..:
1.no lieing
2.no going to [arties behind your back
3.no smoking and trying to hide it
ok?also tell him that if you dont see these changes soon then it is over...
as for your ex...if you and your urrent boyfriend break up then wait a few weeks to hook up with somone new...if your feel like taht person is your ex..than go with it..do wutever would make you happy!..well i hope i could help!
**DaNa**
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Ok just to get things started you should break up with your current boyfriend. I know guys trust me I am one I know how they think if he thinks he can cheat on you and get away with it he will (I personally would never do that to my g/f but im different than most guys or so people tell me) the first thing to understand is he is lieing to you. If someone lies to me once about something major then it takes me a while to trust them again. What I say you should do (by smoke yuo mean weed right) is with my g/f before I was dating her she used to smoke and one day I called her b/c she told me to and lo and behold when I called her she was in the middle of smoking and I said if you ever do that again I will never talk to you again so for the smoking you could try that (go figure a month or so after i said that i started dating her) but if i were you which im not if your b/f now truly makes you unhappy and lies to you and ur ex makes you happy then start dropping hints on your ex let him know how you feel and most of all if you have reason to believe your b/f is lieing or cheating on you or you have proof you should break up with him right then and there (Ok this is a little side note as i said ik guys i am one.. i guarntee you that if he is cheating on you and you find out and you lets say break up with him never take him back no matter what b/c trust me IF HE TRIED IT ONCE HE WILL TRY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN and it will leave you in pieces) hope i helped some sorry for the parts where i blabbed but what can you do lol
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If your current boyfriend loves you as much as you love him, he shouldn't have a problem with just being friends and eventually just accept it as long as he knows you're happy, but then again he shouldn't have started lying in the first place either (if he loves you). If you really aren't happy with him, I think you should definitely break up, especially if things aren't progressing. But also keep in mind to leave space between the time of breaking up, and the possible getting back together with your ex. Tell him straight up that you love him, but just can't take his lies anymore or wait until you can trust him again, it would take too long and it would be better as friends because you wouldn't have to worry about those things. If you're also okay with the idea of him having a new girlfriend, then I think it's time to move on,,
I hope I helped :)
<3 liana
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KAY..you sound really confused. so you're basically saying that you and your current boyfriend aren't having the relationship you both started out with ..right? well tell your boyfriend that maybe you guys need some space.i'm not telling you to break up with him, i'm just saying maybe both of you guys have to figure out what you really want.like is it worth it? or are you guys wasting your time? your EX sounds like a really nice guy. You guys should defintitely start out as friends.like hang out,talk on the phone, IM.stuff like that. and then meanwhile your boyfriend should figure out what he wants. ask him when the time is right..
1) why are you lying to me?
2)do you really want to be with me?(ask it like you mean it)
3)and finally ask him do you think we're wasting eachother's time!
oh and it is possible that maybe he MIGHT be lying to you because he wants to break up,but not necessarily i COULD be wrong.
and you have a right to be happy you know! you have only one life and you should LIVE IT!!!!! =]
***HERSHI WISHES HUGS AND KISSES***
good luck if you still have any questions don't be afraid to in box moi =^)
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-Hey,
This is a very tough situation and I'm sorry if this doesn't help, but I'm going to try. I would say if I was you, I would kinda break up with your boyfriend. I mean it is hard because apparently you love him, but also, apparently he's lying to you, and you need a trustworthy boyfriend and someone to make you happy. If you do break up with him, don't go out with your ex, at least not for a long while because rumors will go around and it wouldn't be good. You're going to have to stay friends with him and then maybe as time passes you can become something more. Just don't rush into things.
-HELP4YOU.
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you have a right to be happy and if your boyfriend isnt making you happy and your ex is then i would suggest that you make a change. expecially if your boyfriend is lying to you. i feel that honesty, trust and communication are the most important things in a relationship and if hes not bieng honest and you cant trust him then theres a big problem. i think that you should consider going out with your ex! i hope i helped let me know if u need anything else!!
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sorry for the delay.
it's not bad of you to have negative feelings toward him now. lying is very important and it is completely normal and warranted for you to feel the way you feel.
questioning your feelings for your ex is also normal, but it also means that you're already detaching yourself slightly from your current boyfriend. i know this situation sweetheart, i've been in it. it sounds like you have all the ingredients you need to break up with him or at the very least have a very serious talk about the future of your relationship. also, ask your ex if he's thinking what you're thinking.
good luck, and remember be honest. honesty is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship. it might be hard but it feels good after you do it, trust me. because you're doing the right thing in being true to yourself and true to the state of your relationship. not to mention your maybe-feelings for your ex.
just follow your heart and do what you know is right. maybe you only feel like you're rushing it with your ex because you're still tied down with your current boyfriend.
it really sounds to me like you should end the relationship. it will hurt and you may want some time with your ex just as friends to make sure you're not "on the rebound." but if you want to jump right in and discuss with your ex if you just wanna hook up or actually go out, then go for it.
just feel it out.
good luck, and if you can i'd really like to know if this advice helped you and what becomes of your relationship : )
Louise
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I'd just say to do some 'further investigation' on your boyfriend, and try to still be friends with the ex. YOu need to have some faith in you boyfriend, but if he is going to lie, he needs to go, cause trust is a huge part of a relationship. If you get more reason to break up with him, do it. The first thing you should look for in a good relationship is that there's not uncertainty. You shouldn't have to wonder about things like cheating, lying, ect. Also, even if he dosen't want to listen, try to get him on a good track. Explain that you're not trying to control his life, you're doing this because you care about him. If he dosen't stop with the smoking or anything, tell his parents. Don't worry if he gets mad, tell them, or a teacher.
Please, email or message again if I missed anything, or if you need anything else.
I hope this has helped, and I'm sorry if it hasn't.
Kat<3
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First of all, you deserve better than your current boyfriend. He may be telling the truth and not cheating on you, but if he's been lying to you, theres no reason to stay in the relationship. Everyone deserves to be happy and he doesn't seem to make you happy at all. Even though your in love with him, it's best to end it now before things get too serious and you can't get out of the relationship.
As for your ex, stay friends for now. It's best not to get into another relationship right off the rebound of another. It sucks waiting, but if you both like each other as much as you think, the wait will be worth it in the end.
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If your boyfriend is lying to you, then get out of the relationship. He's obviously not making you happy, and apparently he can't trust you no more than you can trust him if he's not telling you the truth over insignificant things, such as the cost of something. That's just dumb. Don't be with him if you don't trust him.
At the same time though, he has feelings also. I'm pretty sure he truely loves you, or else he wouldn't have stayed with you after all these months. So don't talk to this ex of yours until you & your current boyfriend are over for good. You talking to him now will cause nothing but drama. Before you break up with him though, think about this and make sure this is what you really want to do.
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If your boyfriend is lying to you, then get out of the relationship. He's obviously not making you happy, and apparently he can't trust you no more than you can trust him if he's not telling you the truth over insignificant things, such as the cost of something. That's just dumb. Don't be with him if you don't trust him.
At the same time though, he has feelings also. I'm pretty sure he truely loves you, or else he wouldn't have stayed with you after all these months. So don't talk to this ex of yours until you & your current boyfriend are over for good. You talking to him now will cause nothing but drama. Before you break up with him though, think about this and make sure this is what you really want to do.
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It sounds to me like it may be time to end it with your current boyfriend. If you have talked to him about the things that are brothering you, but yet he has still ignored it and continued to lie, you may never be able to trust him the way you used too, and your realtionship will never really be the same. I understand the fact that you care for your boyfriend, but really you need to care about yourself too, and if he is not making you happy, then honnestly you should not be with him anymore. If your ex-boyfriend is making you happy, i would keep talking to him, but make sure not to rush into anything again, not only to not hurt your current boyfriend, but also to make sure that you are compleatly over him, and you are not just going to get hurt because of the new realtionship.
good luck!!
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First off I have to warn you I am not in my field when it comes with relationship questions. Also my ethical beliefs are rather strict, so my answer will be strongly influenced by this. Keep this in mind when you assess my advice.
First of all, one should never tolerate a liar. It doesnt really matter why they lied, it doesnt really matter what intentions they had, the fact that a person is willing to deceive makes them untrustworthy. Now, you say he lies to you about many things... thats even worse. Even if the ex- boyfriend was not in the picture my advice would be to leave him. You need to be with a person you can trust, its as simple as that.
Now, you say that your ex boyfriend makes you feel happier but you dont want to rush it. Thats fair enough. However you should end it with your current boyfriend or else you too will fall under the same category. This will sound cruel, but dont worry about his feelings. I am not insensitive (really), but the way I figure it, he gave up that privilige when he began to lie to you.
Go with what makes you happy. You have no obligations, you have not cheated on anyone, and you are not happy where you are now.
Good luck.
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Hi there,
When you're stuck in this kind of situation, I would say - Follow your heart. You have to do what makes YOU feel happy. I know this is gonna sound mean but you have to think of YOURSELF first in this kind of situation.
I know, you don't wanna hurt your bf; but do you think it's gonna do the two of you good if you stay on with him, continuing to doubt him? You're only letting the problem drag on, isnt it? I personally feel that you shouldn't carry on this relationship with your current bf.
Trust and happiness forms the foundation of a strong and heartwarming relationship. People go into a relationship to find a complementary partner who SHARES their problems, not to find a partner who GIVES them problems. When a trust between the two of you is broken, it's gonna be hard to salvage the relationship.
As for your ex bf, let things take it's natural course. What's meant to be yours, will be yours. Don't call your ex bf or stop him in the hallways for nothing. Talk to him when you feel you need to talk to him. Simple as that.That way, you won't be rushing it with your bf, right? Just take one day as it is and don't think too much.
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this really is a tough question, but we both know exactly what you should do;
for instance, you like your ex boyfriend & he makes you happy, yet your current boyfriend, isn't making you happy anymore - solution; date your ex. i know, i know it sounds more simpler when you say it.
the best advice i can give you is just to tell your current boyfriend, that you don't like where things are heading & if he gets mad, you are just going to have to try & ignore that. because more than likely, just by what you've said, he will get mad.
& then don't rush things with your ex, just casually continually talking to him, until the day comes, to where everything feels right, and you know you want to be with him, then go for it.
but first you are probably going to have to get rid of your current boyfriend. but it may seem hard to do, but you will feel much better about your decision later on, i pinky promise ;)
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DUMP HIM!! if your that unhappy, then you shouldnt be with him. If your ex makes you happy, then hang out with him more...and then maybe get back together with him. But DEFFINATLY dont stay with your current bf, there is no sence in staying together with a guy who makes you unhappy, who lies, and who [might be] cheating. And you dont have to rush anything with your ex eaither, you dont even have to get back together, you can just be friends.
Good luck with everything!!!
Hope i helped!
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awe. you said your not happy. if your not happy and he lies to you. he aint worth it. im not trying to say brake up with him but from what your telling me if seems you care more about the ex-byofriend and it also seems you know the right thing to do if probably talk to the ex-boyfriend about if he likes you too. i will help you through this all. talk to your boyfriend now more and say hey you been lieing to me im pretty sure your cheating on me and i aint happy.
chrissy =]
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You should definitely go to your ex if you feel you are going to be happier with him. You are doing everything for your current boyfriend and he gives you back lies and disrespect. If you feel you need to, have a serious talk with your boyfriend and tell him how close you are to ending it. Tell him your trust for him is gone because he has lied to you so much. If you are not happy, there is no need to continue with your relationship with him, especially if he treats you like this.
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