hi..my name is dana!....i heard about this site from a friend!...i love to give advise so i decided to get a profile!..i hope to give some great advice..and i probaly hav gone through some of the same things tht ya'll hav so i hope that my advice helps...
**DaNa**
Gender: Female
Location: houston texas
Occupation: school
Age: 14
Member Since: August 20, 2005
Answers: 19
Last Update: November 14, 2006
Visitors: 2846
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kaylasays
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i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year but im starting to have major feelings for an ex boyfriend. i know its very bad of me but my boyfriend now just isnt making me happy anymore and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend lies to me about everything so im to the point i dont know whats real and whats a lie. hes lied about smoking (twice), going to a party, going to school, and to as stupid as how much he spends on something. i just dont understand. he tells me hell change but hes said that since day one and it continues. also on two occasions he didnt go to school once i found an earring and the other time i found an ankle bracelet. i asked whose it was and he told me he didnt know. i told him i thought he was cheating on me and he got all mad and said he wasnt. im just not happy anymore. i love him to death though. but my ex boyfriend and me have been talking the past 3 days and im not sure whats gonna happen but hes making me so happy. ive been smiling nonstop and hes making me feel whole i talked to him yesterday from 1:30 pm all the way til 5 am nonstop. on the internet and phone. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but in the same sense im not happy. but i dont wanna rush it with my ex boyfriend either. please help me (link)
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hey gurl!...ok...it seems to me that since your boyfriend isnt making you happy anymore..you really feel the need to have someone by your side...you need to make it clear to your boyfriend now that if he wants to be with you there is going to have to be some changes..:
1.no lieing
2.no going to [arties behind your back
3.no smoking and trying to hide it
ok?also tell him that if you dont see these changes soon then it is over...
as for your ex...if you and your urrent boyfriend break up then wait a few weeks to hook up with somone new...if your feel like taht person is your ex..than go with it..do wutever would make you happy!..well i hope i could help!
**DaNa**
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Ok, last night I went over to my neighbor's house for a birthday party. I ended up getting shit faced and came home at 9:30. I've already messed up and have been recently arrested with possesion of Marijuana and I had court on wednesday for that reason. Well... I came home, and my step-dad told me I was drunk. I refused to admit that I was intoxicated and my mom just told me to go in my room in sleep it off. For some reason which I don't know, I refused and started getting violent. I started hitting him in the face and my mom just kept saying stop it. They went outside and my step-dad went over to the place to see if they were the one's that supplied me with alcohol. I guess I came outside and jumped on his back and started clawing him because he had gone over there, in front of my neighbor. He threw me on the ground in my house and told me to sleep it off... Now I'm never the violent type and I would never want to physically hurt my step-dad, but I totally fucked up and I don't even remember doing any of those things. I feel like the worst person and daughter on the earth and I don't know what to do about it. I am so sorry for what I had done and now I don't think my neighbor's will ever talk to me because they think I'm a complete phsycho. On top of that... I told my boyfriend, who I love most in the entire world, that I was doing community service hours that night. Now I'm afraid my neighbor is going to tell him what happened last night. I've fucked up royally with my boyfriend before and I'm on my last chance. If he finds out, I'll never see him again. I can't lose him, and I don't know what to do because I'm pretty sure they will tell him. Please help me out, I am so ashamed of myself and I need someone to tell me how I can fix things.
Brandi (link)
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hey!..ok..i agree..you seem to have a little bit of a temper problem!..but this problem can be fixed very easily..or hard!..now you need to talk to your mom and your step-dad at seperate time!..talk to your mom frist and let her kno that you are going to talk to your step-dad,then tell her that you are sorry for the sihap and you promise taht it will never happen again!..make sure to tell her that you love her and that you will quit everything!...((smoking marijuana and drinking, etc.)).when you talk to your step-dad..make sure that you tell him how sorry you are..and that you never meant for that to happen!..tell him that you are very sorry and tell him also that you are quitting everything... make sure and let both of them know that you love them very much, and thatyou wil do anything it takes to gain their trust bak!...
noe for your boyfirend..if he ask you abot it..tell him everything that happened..and include that you didn't kno why any og=f that happened!..tell him that you are quitting anything that could cause you to have temper tantrums and that your so sorry that they had to witness that!..tell him how much you love him,..and if he lvoes you he will really understand!..i hope that this is helpful!..
♥ danerox
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I like this guy whose name i will not say and he flirts with me and he has a girlfriend already. he gets annoyed by his girlfriend and says we are cute together. should i ask him out or just pass him a note (link)
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ok..if anything you definately need to wai until him and his girlfriend break up!..you dont want to become "the other girl"..that would not give oyu a good reputation!...however once him and his girlfriend break up..feel free to ask him out!..especially if ya'll flirt already!..that is a great sign!..but always waituntil they are single!..you really do not want to get yourself caught up in some "he's my boo" drama!..lol.. so yeah i hope taht this helps you!...
♥ danerox
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How bad is weed for you?
I smoke like.. maybe once every 2 months.. sometimes from a pipe.. and sometimes from a can.. how bad is this for you? I dont even think I get high when I do it though.. How do you know when youre high? (link)
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weed is bad for you! although it may not damage how you feel or damage your heart, it still causes damamge to your brain! every time you smoke, you are killing brain cells. how do i know this? we had this guy come to our school, and he educated us on the harms of many different drugs. (weed was included) and i feel like i should tell you this because i dont want you to harm yourself. if you listen to my advice, i am sure that you will be ok! oh yeah, and the reason why you hav never heard of anyone dying from weed is becauseit DOESN'T affect your heart, but DOES affect your brain! so, yeah, weed is bad for you, and although you do not smoke alot, it can still damage your brain cells. i hope i helped!
**DaNa**
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Alright I'm going to make this as simple as I can:
There's this white girl at my school and I really like her a lot but I don't get the feelin sometimes that she likes me but I've been leavin hints here and there letting her know how I feel about her but I think she still hasn't caught on we're both 13 I really like her and I'm black we get along but she's more of the I'm too busy into my work type and the silent type like I don't want to get in trouble in school type you know just the complicated type can u give me advice on how I can get this girl to know my true feelings besides askin her out on a date I only rate 5's so if your advice is bad you get nothin if it helped you get a 5
Thx
Signed, The Ebony Prince (link)
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i agree you should either right a letter to her expressing how you feel or you should one of both of yall's friends to tell her how you feel......well if you right a letter dont do smething dumb and write anonymous .....write your name.....and tell her how you feel and ask her if she feels the same well i knopw that youll do great......good luck!
**DaNa**
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ALright my ex-girlfriend still likes me appearently and i kinda like her but not as much as i used to and we NEVER see each other anymore or talk that much so it'd be a doomed realationship. But i really like a girl at my scohol but she doesn't liek em liek that anymore she sees me more as her big bro. And i don't know if i should go for the girl that doesn't like me or my ex. Becuase their friendships mean a lot to me and i don't wanna lose either oen of them or how close we are becuase i said no or i didn't take the chance and we grow apart. What should i do? (link)
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okay well i am a female and i totally know what is going on ....this has happened to me a couple friends......i agree with helpchick......i think that if your ex is a doomed relationship and you hardly see her then go for the girl at school......and if she hasnt actually told you that she doesnt like you like that then .....get a little flirty and then if she flirts back tell her that you like her and that you dont want that to freak her out or anything and then ask her if she likes you and if she does then wella .......so i think that you should go for the school girl!
i hope that you take the advice and i know that everything will be fine!
lotz_of_love_here
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ALright. A fiew months ago I was sent into a mental hospital to get help for my depression. Now every time I get angry I am threatend by people saying I will go back. It really scares me because the hospital was so bad I am terified to go back. My parents are also threatening to send me into a hospital for an eating dissorder.. what should i do? (link)
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okay chickedee
lookie here.....in order for all this nonsince to stop.....you have to get a hold of your self...and give yourself a big confidence boost..........you need to learn that an eating disorder is not gonna help you solve any of your problems.......and your parents threatening you is just there way of showing you that they care........they really dont want you to go back ..........but they care about you and they want their baby doll to have the best......they think that by telling you that they are gaining control and that way you dont overreact........well your parents seem to care about you a lot especially for sending you to a mental hosp......it seems as thoug you dont see that they love you and just want you to be happy.....well im not exactly sure if my advice will help you any.....but if it doesnt i trust that you will make the right decission!! well i know that youll do hte right thing .........ttyl
**dAnA**
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I'm bi and I decided to tell my mom but now I really regret it because I think she thinks I am weird now. She acts really different around me. What should I do? (link)
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hello ..........look ...........it doesnt matter, if you think that your mom is treating you dif. then that isnt your falt...........you are who you are and if your mom cant except that then thats her problem......just continue being who you are and doing what you do...trust me you will survive...........i know that you do love your mom and trust her .............but if she cant except you than thats her problem......like i said continue being who you truley are and doing what you would usually do ............dont ever change your ways because of somebody else.
- DaNa-
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I need some advice on getting my 3 year old to sleep in her own bedroom,she has slept with her father and I since she was a baby.Lately her father & I have been having some relationship difficulties,and she is very insecure about everyone being there when she wakes up. (link)
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your a parent and you need to take charge
this might sound a little rough.but it works.i am a parent too it works.neways like i was saying.you need to simply put your child in her/his bed and tell them they have to go to bed soon..........if they start to cry or throw tantrums then simply take them back to their room and tell them they have to.i know that you prbaly cant take the crying of a young child.but you have to strenghthen up.you are the momma...you can do this.i know it sounds like a sad thing to do but it will help.trust me
\-0dana
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ok- i'm organizing a secret santa thing for our orchestra... i can't think of anything else to put on the form you fill out about yourselves other then...
Name:
Age/Grade/Birthday:
Instrument:
Play any sports?:
Favorite:
Color?:
Animal?:
Candy?:
Sports team?:
Any additional information:
what else should i put on the form?? thanks
(easy 5's!) (link)
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if its a girl then say
fav.chocalate
clothing brand and clothing size
fav make up
if its a guy than say
what do u do in free time and fav movie
thats all i can think of for now srry
-dana
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ok ;so i'm like the MOST SHY PERSON YOU WILLEVER MEET!!
how do you meet friends i keep getting imbarsed whenever i try mostly i just sit next to anyone at lunch and say hi................its so difficult for me i need help.........please anyone (link)
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first off dont be scared to take a chance.be forward.go up to someone and introduce yourself.let people know that you want a friend .i know it doesnt seem that easy but there are four easy steps from being shy to being outgoing and optimistic
1:take a deep breath
2:get up
3:go up to someone
4:introduce yourself
and wella a new friend.well..... i know that you can do it.lots of love here i believe in you you will have a great amount of friends with just these 4 easy steps.lotz- of-love-here.love you .dana
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okay this is a big problem. My cousin Kim who is really important to me got married for the second time to this guy john. Well, before this my cousin and I were really close even though I live in Ny and she lives in Pa. we always wrote to each other and called each other and all that. I guess I should tell you that she has four kids, her two oldest are from her fist marriage and then the third child christopher is from this guy that she was dating before she married john and then she just had nicholas with john not too long ago. Anyway, I just found out that he has been beating on christopher and he has bruises all over him and he tells him to go to bed cause the boogey man is going to come get him and he is only 3. well my cousin's mom noticed the bruises and her husband went and talked to john about it and after that the kids stopped going over there to be babysat. Then I found out that john kicked my cousin down the stairs when she was pregnant with nicholas and he has hit her and thrown stuff at her. also they got in a car accident, my cousin, john, christopher and nicholas. and for some reason I think it was planned, cause john was driving. I don't know what to do. I am so worried about her and I have tried emailing her and writing her a letter and I haven't heard anything back yet. I can't call her cause I don't have her phone number and pretty much noone in my family does. I can't get a hold of her sister. I am so worried about her and all I think about is the next phone call I get will be saying she's dead or seriously injured because of him. HELP please. (link)
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okay.looks like you've got a serious problem on your hands!oki dokie ,so looks like youhave really gone througha lot trying to get to her ,well. first things first,do your parents know ,if they dont definatley tell them.
once your parents know (or already know)insist continuelly until you get the answer that you want ,demand that you go see your cousin and make sure that she is okay,or get a family member that lives close by your cousin to go and make sure that she and he kids are all okay...if that works and yet your cousin and her kids are still being abused,call the cops and tell your cousinto get a restraining order aginst John.......do the best you can to get a hold of your cousin..i know that you can do !
love:)&hearts
dana
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I've been upset with a friend that I have known for quite a few years. We never fought, we were just good friends, and she comes over a lot. I guess my problem with her was her being over at my house too much. Over the summer, she spent EVERY night with us. Its to the point, where its like I have no privacy, or no room to breathe. I've talked to my mom mom about this numerous times, and its like she listens, but shes not taking action. I know my next answer would be to talk to my friend, I want to say something to her, but I don't think I could handle it. Recently, she told a friend of mine that she lies to get through to my family just to spend the night. She spent the night last night, which was a school night. She told my mom that her parents were out of town, so as always, my mom believed her, and she spent the night. Now, whats keeping her here is that my younger sister wants her over all of the time, so once she gets sent home, she comes right back because of my sister. I will not talk to my sister about this, shes just not, I just can't, shes really out of control and is selfish. I guess what I'm asking is, what should I do? And if I should talk to her, how should I go about telling her? I really don't want to tell her to her face, I can't reject someone like that, its really hard. I just can't take the lies and the insanity. Its hard to miss her when she never goes away.
What are my other two options other than talking to my sister, and my mom?
Thank you very much in advance.
(link)
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well first off i think that you should confront this friend and tell her that you feel that you could have no better friend its okay to get in arguements....like me and my best friend, we live together we have ever since this past summer.... i talk to her about how we would get a long much better if we didn't act like sisters because when we did that we just got in fights all the time.....but tell it would be best for yall to have some alone time so that ya'll can actually miss ach other ....tell her not to think that you dont want to be the best of friends but you would perfer it if ya'll could actually talk to each other every once in a while.....also tell her that it is floating around the school that she is lying to your family to go to your house and tell her that she doesn't have to lie to go over there ....it would be better likely to tell the truth and be rejected a few times than be lying....tell her its okay if she wants to hang with you a lot and tell her that you want hang out w/ her too...but sometimes you need a lone time.....if she thinks that you dont want to hang out w/ her , tell her she has the wrong idea and that you would never do some thing like that tell her ya'll will be bst friends for life an that you just need maybe a couple days out of the week to your self....but whatever youchose to do, i know it will be the right choice...if you are to have any moe problems feel free to ask, you know where i will be@
:)&hearts
dana
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Is it the stupidest thing to want a baby when u had a miscarriage earlier on in the year, when earlier in your life u had bad things going on with your dad but knowing your mum would give you full support, having the bestest boy friend in the world u’ve been with him for a year and just wanting something to fill that hole in your heart you just want something more to love.. at the age of nearly 15..? (link)
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it is definatley not stupid!...you probably ust want someone to care for and to take care of, that is never wrong!...your fifteen and have a life but if you want someone to care for and to be in that life with you thats aokay!..(on the plus side if your mom is okay with it , go with what your heart tells you to do ,you'll make the right choice!)
love&hearts
dana
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hi, im new at this...
well...ive been cryingg every nightt to bed abd now during the day...
i used 2 cut and i did it for two years and i stopped b/c my parents found out..well ive been crying everyynight to bed and i was curling my hair the other day and i burned myself by accident and when i did i just for some reason burned myself again on purpose and ever since ive been secrectly cutting/burning myself i just hate myself now ..i just dont know what 2 like do or feel i jjust dont wanna be here anymore... (link)
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fist off i know how you feel ,i used to do the same thing constantly every time i got yelled at or every time that i would get in trouble....i know how it feels to be put behind others and to be pushed around ... iknow how it feels when people ignore you ...i know how it feels to be locked up in aroom like a prison all alone... i also know that you are hiding from others and not expressing you true self in front of others .... i know that you are hiding behind a mask and that you feel left out.... i know that you need help!
The first step tp your solution would be expressing your true self...by expressing your self i dont mean go telll peope that you are cutting?burning your self...by expressing your self i mean find who you are and what you enjoy...find your passion.....find that one thing that can get your mind off of anything and excell at it...when you find that thing, do that instead of cutting?burning yourself....that way you can try to cut down on that habbit.
the next step to your solution would be admitting what you are doing to one person that you can love and trust not to tell anybody! Once you finnd that person you move on to the next step....
the next step is recording weekley how much you do that to yourself...if you continue doing it weekley you will definatley cut down...when you notice that you are starting to cut down taht =s when you become the most proud...
the final step is instead of cutting/burning , do that little hobby to get your mind off of anything, it will help you relax!
I know that you will succeed , you are a bright beautiful young woman,and i know you can do whatever you put your mind to!
love&hearts
Dana
P.S if you have any more problems feel free to ask for advice...you know where to find me!
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I'm 17 and a senior and I have a serious problem with my dad. I have an older brother who doesn't live at home any more, but when he did, he wasn't exactly the best student. I remember every time interums or report cards would come out, I would hide up in my room listening to him crying as my dad screamed at him. I don't know everything that my dad did, because I never saw it, but I only remember my mom sticking up for him ONCE. He would always tell anyone who would listen what a loser my brother was and how he would never amount to anything. The first time I got a C in math was when I was in the 10th grade. My dad screamed at me and then told me to get out of his face because he didn't want to look at me anymore. He gets pissed off at little things, has thrown chairs across the room and has no clear desire whatsoever to control his anger. He has never hit my mom, little sister or me but he yells a lot and my mom hardly ever says anything to him. He's trying to force me to go to the college he wants me to go to by threatening not to give me any financial support. For a while, I was cutting myself because he made me feel so worthless, but I haven't done so in over two years because my mom walked in on me once. She doesn't believe me when I say I think I'm really depressed. My brother was diagnosed with chronic depression and my dad flipped when he found out because he doesn't believe in psychology, which is the field I want to go into. I really hate him and am sick of putting up with him and I don't know what to do. (link)
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first...you need to talk to your dad.....if you think that will cause problems,then i suggest you dont....what you need to do is tell him your worried about him...and ask if anything is wrong....take him to church confessions,ask him to try to confess his sins,while you are in the room....try to get a hold of a therapist, you and your mom talk about it,the therapist,and tell her you are worried about your dad and want him to go to a therapist for anger mangement...if that doesnt work write back...i know that you will do the right thing....you are a strong smart young woman...and you diserve the kind of life that teens are supposed to live...i know that everything will be alright!
love :)hearts,
dana
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sorry if this is long but i REALLY need help. my parents have been planning to get a divorce for the longest time.. but my mom is really scared of my dad thats why she never did.. but shes finally going through with it. however we seriously think my dad has pyschological problems.. hes been in a great depression after he lost his job, years ago. their selling the house and my dad isnt going to let my mom have a penny from it. he wants to win the house.. and hes said that he'll fight untill death untill he wins the house.. he said he doesnt care if my mom has 100 lawyers.. she still wont get any share of the house. my dad is trying to sell it and he has everything under HIS names..and he has another account that he doesnt use.. so can he really win the house??
hes hit my mom before and me and my siblings.. hes not letting my mom use the car so she has to ride a bike to work.. and he hid her passports and everything.. my mom got a lawyer.. but today they were arguing again and my mom had to call the police because my dad was threatening to kill her.. but he denied it and the police couldnt do anyhting. he also taps into the house phone and listens to everyones phone calls, which is an evasion of privacy because hes convinced that my mom has cheated. one night i had to sleep with my sister in my room, locked, with a knife underneath my bed. were all terrified and we know he is going to do something crazy.. because there is something pyschologically wrong with him..sooner or later hes just going to snap.. because NOONE is on his side and hes going to lose custody of us and everything so hes crazy.. we have to do something before it gets worse..my friends mom is telling us to get an order of protection and get him taken from the house.. but if we do that will only make things worse and he will probably try and kill my mom if he comes out.. PLEASE HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!
by the way i live in new york so the laws may be different. (link)
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dont be afraid whatever you do ....i can tell you are strong especially for even talking about it.....you wii do just fine in this situation i promise..you should definately go to some sort of authorit outside friens or family...the police or CPS....if you are to contact the police make sure they dont tell your dad until the day of the"trial"...tell the police you wish to contact CPS...whatever you do ...do not call the police or CPS from your house.... if your dad taps into the phone lines then you never know what might happen....go to a friends house one day SOON...talk to your mother before doing any of this though...tell your mother not to be intimidated...she should play cool.....if your dad does hit you or a sibling....immediatley contact someone of higher authority...you should try to get a restaining order or something of the matter for the men-time...be aware and warn your family (besides your dad) of what you plan to do...or what your plan is...you are very smart and strong...you will do the right thing..i promise you and your family will be safe...if you need any more advice you know where to find me ..I'll be here a'waiten'...later
:)hearts
lots of love
dana
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Hey! okay so i like this guy named zach. he's my best guy friend's friend. I barely know him at all. He doesnt really know me.. So what do i do? (link)
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well what you should do is introduce yourself make friends,learn what he likes,not stalking though, just make friends and see where it goes from there
love/hearts
dana
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this might seem weird, but i fell in love with a guy i met online. last night we talked for like 7 or 8 hours, maybe longer. but the thing is, today i remembered that i had lied to him about something. and i felt bad so i e-mailed him and told him. he just kind of laughed it off, but then he was like "so does this mean i can go out with someone else?" so then he explains to me that this whole time he liked another girl and that he can't trust me now...yet he still "loves" me. it makes me feel awful, i told him that i was a year older than i really was. he says it doesn't bother him, but yet he's confusing me by saying he loves me but he just wants to be friends so he can go out with this girl. i guess my question is..what can i do to get his trust back? i'm really going to miss talking to him the way i used to... (link)
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first off how do you know that he isnt lying to you that happens alot these days,....and if he isnt lying what i would tell you to do is tell him that you wish that you could earn his trust back tell him how you feel .....tell him that you wish you could admit the way you truly feel and you want him to understand that you didnt mean to lie you just didnt want to be talking to some guy 5 times your age and you just want his forgivness. i hope i helped you in someway!
♥ Dane
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