|
Is it the stupidest thing to want a baby when u had a miscarriage earlier on in the year, when earlier in your life u had bad things going on with your dad but knowing your mum would give you full support, having the bestest boy friend in the world u’ve been with him for a year and just wanting something to fill that hole in your heart you just want something more to love.. at the age of nearly 15..?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Do not ever call yourself stupid. Believe it or not you are setting yourself up subconciously to believe this and you and I both know that your not. Your just confused right now. I don't think you really want to have another baby. But, having a parent (for whatever reason) urging you to do this is cousing conflict within yourself. I think it's wonderful that you have such a fantastic boy friend. But, you have your whole life in front of you and so does he. There are so many things you can acomplish and you can't do that with a baby hanging on. Don't get me wrong I love babies, but, the void you are experiencing is not going to go away with a baby. I think the void you are experiencing is your not getting the good parential advice or kind of love you need at your age. Your thinking that having a baby will give you that love. It won't. Of course the baby will love you, but, it will grow up. It will become an individual with ideas of it's own. Y'all will have conflicts that will feel like the baby doesn't love you (when it still will). Your already feeling unloved. Ignor anyone (including your mother) who is urging you to have a baby. Take care of yourself. Find a spiritual leader (faith that speaks to you). You will find a lot of love, guidance, and support in this type of community. Know that you are worth loving and love yourself. Listen to what that inner voice is telling you. It knows what is best for you and follow it's lead.
If you have further questions feel free to contact me. I will be moving over the weekend, so, I won't be back in contact with people until next week. Good Luck!
LULABELLE
]
It's definitely not stupid. I can understand why you would feel that way. Trust me, a lot of people feel empty and they just want someone they can love unconditionally and get it back.
However, why do you want to love something more? If your boyfriend is the "bestest in the world" you shouldn't be feeling empty. So either he's not the GREATEST or your statement about feeling empty is not true.
You're not even 15 yet. Maybe you will be soon, but that's not an age for getting pregnant and having babies. The reason is because generally you can't take care of yourself. Do you live with your parents? Do you have a stable job? Are you getting good grades? Will you be able to keep up those grades when the baby comes? Are you certain you will get married to your boyfriend (I know, when you have a boyfriend for a year it seems like you're going to marry the guy. Maybe you will! But just remember that MANY teen break ups happen)?
The fact is, wanting to bring a baby just to make yourself happy isn't a good enough reason. I know you feel like you're going to give this baby the best ever, but just think. How would YOU like to have teen parents? Would you like to live with your grandparents because your parents aren't old enough to be on their own? Would you like your mom and dad to work and go to school and do homework all the time? That means you would not get enough attention. You won't get the best toys and things in life because your parents did not have enough money. Also, your child will have to go to college right? How will YOU pay for her/his college tuition? Babies, childrens, teens, adults. No matter how old they are they will ALWAYS rack up a LOT of money. And if you don't have the money, your child isn't going to have an easy start in life. And you don't want your parents to pay for everything. You want to be independent and you want to know you raised this child so well on your OWN.
If you want a baby, by all means, you CAN have one! But the first person you have to take care of is...yourself. You need to concentrate on school and do your best so you can get the best career you can. With that career you'll make good money, you'll be happy, and the baby you bring into this world will be in an excellent environment.
Please don't right off the bat think babies are the best things in the world. Maybe the child will pay off some day, but during the first 20 years (that's a long time) it will be a lot of hardships. Also remember that your child may NOT become how you had hoped. There are a lot of parents that have either failed their children or their children just never cooperated.
I also want you to realize if you had a baby now, it would put a lot of stress on the relationship you have with your boyfriend. Statistics show teen marriages usually end up in divorce. Having a baby will make you guys work your butts off for the baby. You will not get any alone time with your boyfriend. No romantic summer nights, no just hanging out. How do you think that would affect your relationship?
In conclusion? Yes, it's true I am trying to get through to you that having a baby now is not the best time. Of course, I'm not MAKING you do anything. I'm only trying to guide you. Do you think I would have bothered writing all of this if I didn't care? I do care. Good luck in the future, no matter what you choose.
]
you're only 15 and a baby is a LOT of responsibility. It may seem like it will "fill the hole" but i dont think having a baby will...i hope you make the right choice. goodluck!
]
Stupid is far from the right definition.
There are two big things you need to do. Talk to your boyfriend and read up.
Your boyfriend needs to know because it just wouldn't be fair to him for you to end up pregnant when he's not ready. Even if this is just an intrigue, he needs to know where you stand if you get pregnant again. Especially considering dads are responsible for their children too.
Babies are blessings, but they are royal pains of blessings that you don't see the results for many years. Having a child really is a lifetime commitment and while your mom may be supportive, it's you and your boyfriend that must be the parents. And that's not getting into how much care you must take of yourself while you're actually pregnant.
I wondered what it would be like to be a mom at that age too, but please know what you're getting into before you let your desires decide. Being a mom is hardly full of frills.
]
You are only a teen and have all of the options on your hands. If you had a baby, that baby would be on your mind all the time. My mother has told me stories of her friends that had babies when they were your age. They couldnt do things like go with friends because they had to take care of baby. I know, I know, your mom can babysit, but remember this is going to be your baby, not hers.
Good luck though!
]
it is definatley not stupid!...you probably ust want someone to care for and to take care of, that is never wrong!...your fifteen and have a life but if you want someone to care for and to be in that life with you thats aokay!..(on the plus side if your mom is okay with it , go with what your heart tells you to do ,you'll make the right choice!)
love&hearts
dana
]
Wow.. your the only person I know who wants a baby at 15 but you know what its probably normal to feel that you need something more but don't go off and have a baby your only 15 and theres so much you still need to do, go out and have fun with your friends and just hang out with your boyfriend.
You shouldn't have a baby with your boyfriend unless you truly love him and he loves you and you two are already set in the way that you dont need anyone else but eachother...
So yes If I didnt answer your question aleady its not stupid...
Live Long, LIVE STRONG, And LIVE HAPPY!
]
if it will make you happy, and your mom supports it. and if you think you and your boyfriend are ready for it. then i say go for it. of course his parents should be okay with it too. and no its not stupid. follow your heart.
<33 & Luck
Kim
]
It's not stupid. You can't help how you feel. A lot of girls your age feel like they "want a baby". But a baby will not make your life happier. It will not give you the love you want, you will only have to sacrifice your life to help it. Look at the good things you have already and be thankful for them. You do not need another person to take care of right now, you should only be looking after yourself. I'm seventeen and I often feel like I want to have a child, but I have decided to wait until after college to get knocked up. You have a nice mother and a wonderful boyfriend, you do not need a baby at this time. If you really feel hopeless and you think you can't go on...get a cat or a puppy. They are just as adoreable as babies, and cats even bathe themselves.
EDIT: Of course that is just my opinion. It is your decision in the end.
]
More Questions: |