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Should I marry him?
Ok i know it sounds totally weird because im so young (15 very soon) but my boyfriend wants to propose to me for my bday. Hes 17 and i know wont be able to get married for ages and so does he. I think hes still going to propose though. What should I do? We've been going out for 10 months. thanks xx
(Im female by the way...)
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I am also 15 and to think of marriage.. I mean I love my ex (we might get back together soon cause we have to wait till he moves out.), but if I thought about it.. I'd have to wait.
If he does propose I would tell him, "I am 15 and still too young. Maybe by the time I am 17 and if we are still together everything would be alot easier and better." By that time you would probally have a job and might be able to move out with him. You'd also be with him for a long time and know him alot better. Most likely love him alot more.
Wait till you are older.
-Sara.
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wow.... i just keep noticing that you wrote about how long you've been dating, but you never say how much you like him.... marriage is HUGE! At 15 and 17, your still going through the high school social stuff. Do you really want to make a commitment when anything could happen at your age?? If you love him and he loves you and theres a way for him to support you and you know you'll be happy forever go for what ever makes your heart soar! But don't say something for fear of hurting him, because in the end you'll just be hurting yourself! xoxox, i hope this helps!
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You are still young and you still should expiriment I know you think you are in love but maybe you are but you wont always be your young you get these feelings all the time you have a lot of time just wate till at least the ligal age because you don't want to get married and have a child and then get a devorse and your gonna be a single mother and thats gonna suck so just wate for the right time !!
♥
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A good bithday present includes concert tickets, fabulous and fun things to do, and anything material that is special to you. A proposal isn't a present.
While many younger people are in serious relationships and feel it might be appropriate to discuss or think about marriage, in reality it can lead to heartbreak. A relationship this young, statistically, is bound to end at some point. If that relationship has seriously considered marriage, then the ending will be that much harder.
Marriage is more than a way to prove to each other how much you love each other. It's full of ups and downs, doubts, hard times, joy, and deep and lasting love.
There's nothing wrong with you two loving each other; perhaps, though, you might want to focus on just enjoying the relationship without all the pressure. You shouldn't need a ring to prove to yourself or your partner that you're serious about each other, particularly at your age.
Getting engaged is a special thing. While some people are engaged more than once, many are only engaged the once - why not wait until you feel sure it's the right choice (with this guy or someone else)?
You can tell your boyfriend that while you care, marriage isn't something you are ready to contemplate yet. He may be insecure and this is why he is pushing for an engagement. If you reassure him of your feelings, he should be content to put marriage on the back burner.
Best of luck.
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uh well theres are a few reasons why you shouldnt do it.
1. your questionign your judgement by posting this question,a good sign that its notn a good idea
2. your way to young! its not even legal.
3. there is so many guys out there, dont stop lookin now
4. say you say yes, then something stupid happens and you too break up, in a year or two from know youll feel like such an idiot for even considering.
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It's way too early for you.
I'm sorry but you have your whole life ahead of you.
People change and situations do as well. By the time you graduate hugh school, you may want to go live your life as opposed to being tied down to a boyfriend.
You need to fully explore yourself before comitting yourself to another person or else you can never truly love them
Plus, ten months?
It's far too early. I dated a boy for about teh same amount of time and I was madly in love with him. But things change.
And there is much less room for them to change when there is this type of commitment involved.
<3good luck.
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Oooh dear,
I know you might "love" eachother for now.
but you don't want this the rest of high school,
and maybe collage. just think of all of the things you might miss out on.
if he proposes, i would say no, because
1. how will your parents take it?
2. how will HIS parents take it?
3. how will everyone else take it?
i mean, if you love him you wouldnt care,
but you don't need to be tied down to a man at the age of 15!!
best of luck my darling;
C
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I say too young, too soon. 10 months isn't that long to be dating someone in the scheme of your life and 14 is very very young to agree to marry someone, not because you're stupid or immature but for the simple reason you have a lot to experience and a lot of changing to do. For that matter, 17 is very young to be engaged too.
Feeling tied down and constricted aint a lota fun. My boyfriend and I hit a pretty big rocky patch at a point when i made a lot of new friends (male lol) and I felt like I couldn't hang out with them without feeling guilty. And I wasn't even engaged.
The fact you're even asking this question shows you're not ready or sure about this yourself so if you still want to be with this guy just reassure him you're not going anywhere but you don't feel ready to make such a huge commitment right now. Give it a few years. If you're still together, think about it again.
If you're really going to be together all your lives a few more years without an engagement ring is not going to make the slightest difference.
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i think thats REALLY young. my stepdad told me that i shouldnt get married til im in my late 20s because so many people get divorced these days and when your that young you can grow apart. not to meantion 10 months isnt that long. it would also be a good idea to live with the person you want to marry before you marry them because you never really know how someone acts all the time. if he really loves you he can wait til your both older.
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if i were you i wouldn't rush into anything. you two are young still and you haven't even been going out for a whole year. make sure he wasnt joking about getting married. he probably wasn't if you feel that he probably will by the way he said it, it isn't something to joke about. but if he's the kind of person that would do something like that..
i dont doubt the fact that you two are in love but he is almost out of highschool. you still have a few more years. but you have to take in the fact that you may meet someone you love a bajillion times more when you go to college or in your senior year. i'm not sure marriage would be the best thing to do at your age and for the time you've been going out
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Don't rush into anything. I don't doubt that you're in love, but sometimes things just don't work out. You're young & haven't been together very long (that's a long time in high school, yes, but in terms of forever, 10 months is nothing). As much as you may be in love now, you've both got a lot of growing & changing to do, obstacles to face, etc. Being engaged just adds unnecessary strain on the two of you.
Do what feels right, but there's no reason to make such a committment just yet. Like you said- you can't get married for ages anyways, why not just enjoy being young while you still can? I strongly suggest that you tell him before he proposes that you'd like to take things slower.
Look at it this way- if he proposes & you end up breaking up, you've lost not only a boyfriend but a fiance as well..two heartbreaks in one. If you wait & do end up together years from now, there's no harm done. Spare yourself the unnecessary stress & heartbreak.
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You may not like this answer but I would say no.
In the few years you have to wait to get married something may happen between you to? Just saying you "engaged" doesn't mean your gonna stay together forever. Love doesn't always last.
Just wait a few years, then if your still in love say yes then =)
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You cant get married intill your atleast at 18.
And the thing im going to say to you is this.
"If you have to accutally ask us for our opinions, maybe you know its not a good idea deep inside you"
Please, do what YOU, YOU YES YOU feel.
Not him.
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=/... I dont think thats a good idea at all, and besides isnt that illegal?You guys are young and both you and your feelings are probably going to change.Why not wait, what's the rush??
andd how are you going to live and take care of yourselves, pay the bills?
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Well here's what I don't get... why does it matter if you're "engaged" or not a few years earlier or something? You won't be able to get married until you're at least 18 so it seems completely pointless for him to propose right this minute. Having the label "fiance" for a couple years longer isn't really going to change anything except put more pressure on the whole relationship. Why don't you try talking to him about all this before your birthday so that there's not some huge misunderstanding? Tell him you love him and will marry him when the time comes but for now it's good to just relax and go with the flow...
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Maybe you should talk to him about proposing next year on your sixteenth birthday. Then, if he's absolutely sure, and you're absolutely sure, you can say 'Yes.' You could say yes now, but honey, you've only been going out ten months.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for ten months (he's sixteen, I'm fourteen... fifteen and seventeen soon...) and we haven't even kissed.
He and I know that we love each other, and we want to always love each other; and know that we're right for each other... but we're so young. I want to go to school - and I want him to go to school. I am very interested in Forensic Pathology, and he's interested in Engineering. I want him to be able to fulfill all of his dreams, and be comfortable. I want him to have a job he likes, not one he hates. I want him to be able to have a car that works, and a nice house, so when we have children, we don't have to worry about anything other than going into labor at 2AM. ;)
Are your parents okay with you getting engaged? Are his parents okay with it? They need to know, and you need to ask them. Actually... I think your boyfriend should ask them for permission to marry you. But that's just me...
It would hurt so much worse if you were to have to break up with him if you're engaged than if you were just dating. Yes, it would STILL hurt badly, but even more so if you were engaged.
Plus, who knows... you might grow some more, and outgrow that beautiful ring... [that is, if you get one].
I think it would be best to wait until your sixteenth birthday, at least.
Have you and he talked about career options? Living arrangements? When do you plan on getting married? What about kids? A house? Cars?
That is very important to discuss so you aren't stuck in a rut.
You'll want him to go to college. Trust me. You don't want him to be pinning pricetags to clothes at a dry-cleaners, or flipping burgers, or bagging groceries all his life. If so, you'd have to work too. And if you didn't go to college, you would probably have about the same job as him. And you'd still be pinching pennies.
Just a warning... I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't marry him. Just consider everything - age, job, house, car, family, wedding, parents etc. etc. before you make your final decision.
-FunnyCide
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If or when he proposes, fall into his arms, hug and kiss him all over. Mentrion how sweet he is. Then tell him gently it's a bit too soon for you to even think about it, that you really love him and want to stay with him but that you just think you are too young to say yes to a proposal.
Young boys can be so sweet, but stupid. Be sure to treat him very gently so he won't feel too rejected. Convince him of the fact that you do think it's very sweet of him.
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Even if you two end up getting married in the future, I'm not sure that getting engaged is something that you should do at this point in your lives. I believe that people shouldn't become engaged until they are both out of high school or any more than 3 years before they plan on getting married. Engagement is meant to be planning time for a wedding, not the next step in a relationship. Instead of giving you an engagement ring, I think that your boyfriend should give you a promise ring. That is a better "next step" for you. It's okay if he asks you to marry him, that's cute and everything, you can say yes, just don't get officially engaged. You two aren't ready to start thinking about finances or children, you're just in love and want it to show. Personally, I think that promise rings are awesome. They're cheaper and there's not so much tradition involved in what it's supposed to look like. I know a girl who's 21 years old and she just got a promise ring from her boyfriend, so it's not just for kids. The ring is beautiful, relatively expensive, and it has three pink stones in it. Just as long as it's a nice ring and not some cheapo thing, it would definitely be appropriate for you. I think that you should talk to your boyfriend about it and let him know that you aren't really ready for engagement yet, but you're very willing to promise yourself to him. You can explain the promise ring thing and I think that he will like the idea. Anyways, I hope my suggestion is appealing to you and if not, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. :)
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wow!ten months and he's already proposing?he seems like a good boy.however i don't think you should get married right now becaus eyou are way too young.you have a whole life to experience adn i don't want you to be in a situation that you might later regret.if he proposes i think you should tell him how you feel.i would suggest(eveen though this might be mean)saying a polite no an dtell him that you are way to young and just wait it out for a while.like i said you are too young an dyou should enjoy life ...free and not totally commited to someone by marrying them.take your time,i am sure he's not going anywhere and maybe if he does(which i don't think he will)you'll have plenty of suitors lining up to take your hand in marriage(lol)!
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my bf and i are the same way.
he wants to marry me and well...i want the same.
hes 17 and im soon to be 15.
just like you :)
we just said... in 7 or 8 years we will get married. if he asks you...and you really think hes the one. say yes. and if you dont think hes the right one. tell him your to young. and wait and see how it goes.
-jodie
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