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help please


Question Posted Monday September 27 2004, 8:15 pm

OMG...i really need to help my friend she needs help fast! she is 14 and she had sex with her boyfriend and she just found out that she iz pregnant. please dont leave advice like "oh she shouldn't have done that because she is a slut" and stuff because we really dont need to hear that and she isn't a slut because she really loves her boyfriend! she doesn't know how to tell her mom and she has no clue what to do she is just crying and crying and i'm trying to comfort her but what should i say

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BrOwNEyEdGiRL answered Monday October 4 2004, 1:53 am:
mistakes happen but sooner or later shes gonna have to tell her mom! she cant go thru this alone....this is a big deal and it could change her life in many ways...does she want to keep the baby? i mean first she needs to really put into thought what to do cuz her choice will effect her entire life. if she does keep it she needs to think about how she can support the baby and if shes gonna finish school(which is a MUST)...if she doesnt think she can handle it, she could have it and then give it up for adoption..or she could get an abortion...how far along is she? her mom will probabyl be very mad at first but of course you know she loves her daughter so she will help out! the guy better stick around too since it was 50% him....juss be there for her..good luck! and tell your friend to hang in there! i hope this helped!!!...if you need anymore information about anything you can write me back and i can help you out!

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Mz_Laudie answered Saturday October 2 2004, 3:03 pm:
Just keep telling her it will be okay, and I dont think she is a slut at all, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Theyre a few options but first she has to ask herself, a few questions. Like does she want to have this baby? Would she consider an abortion? Or would she consider adoption? Or would she keep it? If she decides against having it, theyre are a few options, that may sound cruel but I know people who have done it. So they dont have to tell there parents, they jump on trampelons, hang up side down, fall down stairs do everything they can to cause a miscarage. Or your friend could write a letter to her mother (who would probally be most understanding) saying that shes a teenager know and nos what shes doing, its her body, and this wasnt meant to happen but she got pregent. Her and her parents may fight, but shyt happens. Eventually shell be forgiven. Her and parents can decided whether shell have an aborition adoption, keep it or whatever. Best of Luck to Your friend BTW if i was in that situation i would b glad to ahve a friend like you, : )

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Jersey_Blonde_16 answered Wednesday September 29 2004, 1:19 pm:
There is nothing to say. Acually, you cannot hind this fact from her mother for very long because when you are pregnant you don't look fat u can tell you're pregnant. SO tell her now before it gets crazy so that an abortion can happen idmetially! I def. don't agree with abortion but in this situation it has to be done unless your mom wants to care for the baby while you finish school. Also an abortion would be good now because the baby can turn out deformed because of your age and you coudl harm yourself giving birth. Also the sooner this happens the sooner your friends will not know about it and the people in your town so your rep. stays clear.

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Tarebear109 answered Wednesday September 29 2004, 2:15 am:
dont listen to all these people Abortion is not the anwser..... that is cruel.. just comfort her and tell her that u love her and you will help her while she tells her mom.. please whatever she does at least try to have the baby.. abortion is just not the way to go

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pimpettex answered Tuesday September 28 2004, 5:39 pm:
I know Im probably going to get shot or something for saying this but seriously.. if she isn't ready for a baby then I think she should have an abortion. She needs to be mentally ready for that though because its hard for some girls. Or she could have her baby and give it up for adoption. Either way is really hard to do and she'll never forget about it. If she truely isnt ready for a baby then I personally think she should do one of these. And its always a good thing when her friends support what she's doing even if they dont agree with it. Good luck, I hope she does what she thinks is best.

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alisonmarie answered Tuesday September 28 2004, 5:41 am:
I don't know what you should say, but I think it should include 'I'm here for you and will support you.' Maybe that means you hold her hand while she tells her Mom what is going on.

She needs to tell as soon as possible, whatever her choices. Abortion is better the earlier it is done, and keeping a baby to term requires prenatal appointments and medical attention as soon as possible.

The other thing which complicates this problem - she'll want to get tested for STDs. As devestating as a teen pregnancy can be, STDs can ruin (or end) a life.

Good luck.

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evilgogeta answered Tuesday September 28 2004, 3:02 am:
She should tell her mum straight away. She should probably go and get an abortion. 14's too young to try and bring up a kid. If abortion dosen't suit her then adoption might be a good idea. Also next time she and her boyfriend should take some sort of precautions against this kind of thing.

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Witty answered Tuesday September 28 2004, 2:31 am:
I'm sorry to tell you this but, I think you should tell your mother.

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VisionsofLife answered Tuesday September 28 2004, 1:17 am:
I understand what you are going through.My friends did it and thought that she was pregnant ( she was not), but it was hard to comfort my friend when she was crying. Let her cry her heart out ,be there next to her if you can.Lend her your shoulder and let her bawl her eyes out. Ask her is she positive that she is pregnant and start taking steps toward helping her. Tell her to talk to her boyfriend and tell him that she is pregnant (the boyfriend should be responsible too)! Then help her work her courage so she could tell her parents...I think it would be better if you were there when she explain to her parents about what happen! She need you there to support her all the way. Start doing research on the pregnancy subject and ask her to make a decision if she is keeping the baby or not...Hope I help!

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Paige answered Monday September 27 2004, 10:06 pm:
Hey~a good way to tell someone's mom kinda depends, if she talks to her a lot then sit down with her mom and talk it out. If they really don't talk or she is afraid she will get really pissed then write a letter and have your friend be there when her mom reads it. Tell your friend that I hope things work out! ~Paige~

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RedNeckShOrTy answered Monday September 27 2004, 9:23 pm:
She should come out and tell her mom the truth. Her mom will find out eventually because she will start gainng weight. Also, what if something went wrong? She would want her mom there with her. She should also tell her boyfriend the truth about her being pregnant. He might want to be a part of his baby's life. I hope i helped.

~***Hannah~***

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SwEeTLiLhUnNiE answered Monday September 27 2004, 9:22 pm:
I know where you are coming from One of my bestest friends got pregnant last year she couldnt help but cry but i was there. And no it is not ur friends fault wut so ever she didnt make a good choice but we all make mistakes.She and her b.f really need to sit down and have a long talk about what they are goin to do. Then they both need to talk to her mom. or maybe she could write her mom a letter and leave it for her to read. All she needs to do and take her time and im sure things will work out. I hoped i helped

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TucanFullOfHoles answered Monday September 27 2004, 9:15 pm:
tell her that :

there is no same in aborstion. an aborstion was designed for a girl who gets in trouble at a very young age, and she is.

she doesn't need to tell her mom (well, at least in massachusetts) to get an aborstion, but it would be to her benifit if she did because moms make everything better.

you love her, and your there for her, and her boyfriend loves her.

(her boyfriend has to pay money to support the baby if your trying to make her laugh)

now might not be the best time to mention:

that having a baby at such a young age would screw up her life so badly that she has no idea.

that if she had the baby, she might not be able to go to school.

that it wouldn't be faire to the baby if it was born to an (no offence, but i mean finaically) unstable mother.



just make it clear that you love her and your there for her. tell her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do. she needs to tell her mom though if she wants things taken care of right. if she doesn't feel right telling her mom that, then she needs to contact an adult, like a teacher, and tell them so they can get her the medical attention she needs.

i hope everything works out alright for your friend.

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S_C answered Monday September 27 2004, 9:09 pm:
okay, well I've already answered a questions just like this, and my parent/child development teacher game some pointers.

The first thing she wants to do is get a good friend, or somebody she's close to, and have them take her to the health department, and get her checked for STD's or whatever else she might have on her mind.

She needs to tell he rparents, and her boyfriend that she's pregnant, and she needs to start thinkin if she's going to keep it, put it up for adoption, or what I'm against, abortion.

Don't tell her it's going to be fine, because it won't. The first and last trimeseters are going to be painful, and not very fun, the second one will be better though.

Pregnancy is a rough thing, especially at that young of an age, and the best thing you can do is be there for her, she REALLY REALLY REALLY needs a good friend to talk to.

Tell her that you will support whatever decision she makes, whether or not you agree. and really try to support it.

Tell your friend Good Luck with whatever decision she needs, and if you have any other questions, leave one in my inbox!!

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