Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


UGH!!


Question Posted Tuesday September 21 2004, 4:29 pm

All my friend has been doing lately is complaining. Not to be stuck up or anything but things are going a little better for me than they are for her lately and shes tryen to bring me down with her so we can share being upset all the time . On the fone she doesnt stop complaining I just want to hang up on her. I dont want to be rude to her about this but im just so sick of listening to her complain. PLEASE help!

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


*Ask_Emma* answered Wednesday September 22 2004, 7:53 pm:
I know how you feel, just tell her to look at the positive side, or tell her to stop complaning because shes hard to be around.

[ *Ask_Emma*'s advice column | Ask *Ask_Emma* A Question
]




Chatychic08 answered Wednesday September 22 2004, 3:33 pm:
Ok, well you two are friends right?? apparently, well if you are a good friend then you will realize what she is going through and try to help her, when she trys to bring you down with her try to bring her up with you. i have soooo many friends like that and its just like OMG SHUT UP! lol i know how you feel, just try to make it better for them and when they act like that b like ok im in a really good mood plz dont bring me down with you, and just talk to them about it and let them know how you feel but in a nice way lol.
hope it works out! gl and if you need anything else lemme kno.
xoxo magz

[ Chatychic08's advice column | Ask Chatychic08 A Question
]



chaos answered Wednesday September 22 2004, 1:03 pm:
Hi, I am here to represent your complaining friend. This is me. A lot. Especially lately.
I spend a lot of time by myself so the first person I can really talk to, I tend to latch on. I forget that I am very lucky to have a steady job, a roof, and a car that works. There are people with much less than I that are happy.

When the going gets tough the tough go shopping. Or some other activity where you don't focus on problems. A funny movie. Point out all the good things she has going for her. She probably doesn't have anyone else who will listen. Do point out that she seems unhappy because sometimes you run around in a pattern that needs to be broken. Sometimes just acting as every thing is peachy helps your mood a little.

You might encourage her to volunteer or just get some exercise. You generally feel better you when you help yourself or others. Sometimes all you need is a swift kick in the pants. And on that note, I am going to take a few minutes to walk today...

[ chaos's advice column | Ask chaos A Question
]



footballshawty07 answered Wednesday September 22 2004, 8:54 am:
ok well i used to have a friend that did that.. all she wanted to do was bitch about everything and try and make me sad too.. all u have to do is tell her to stop... thats what i did.. tell her to try and be positive sometimes.. and ur not stuck up.. ur just annoyed..and when ur on the fone, hang up and if she kalls back tell her sorry the fone cut out.. if she doesnt.. dont worry about it. whos gives a shit?

[ footballshawty07's advice column | Ask footballshawty07 A Question
]



Snuffalufagus666 answered Wednesday September 22 2004, 2:29 am:
Find a time where you have her complaining the most, then ask her if she realizes what she's doing. Tell her that she's complaining alot, and you're getting aggrivated with it. Explain that you don't want to listen to it anymore, because it's getting old. Everyone complains sometimes, but doing it all the time is ridiculous.

[ Snuffalufagus666's advice column | Ask Snuffalufagus666 A Question
]



truadvice answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 9:32 pm:
you should be there for your friend but you might want to keep some distance untill everything lifts so youdont feel so depresed

[ truadvice's advice column | Ask truadvice A Question
]



MaGiCLyDeLiSh88 answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 8:45 pm:
I would just tell her the truth... but this used to happen to me and I didnt say n e thing... but i should have... so since I didnt say n e thing I would try and give her something to NoT complain about... maybe she needs sumthing happy in her life... be a friend! bye*

[ MaGiCLyDeLiSh88's advice column | Ask MaGiCLyDeLiSh88 A Question
]



BarbieGurl000008 answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 6:50 pm:
You should just be there for her. Try to make her feel better. Don't get annoyed so easily and just have patience for her, and maybe she'll change. Or maybe you could just be like joking around or something and she could say something and be like "STOP COMPLAINING!!" (jokingly) and she might get the hint. Other then that, I don't know what else could help =/..Good luck!

[ BarbieGurl000008's advice column | Ask BarbieGurl000008 A Question
]



EnchantedSage answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 6:25 pm:
It is certainly no fun to be around someone spouting negativity all of the time. I understand your frustration. The old saying that "misery loves company" is certainly true and while your friend is probably not consciously trying to bring you down, that is what is happening, nonetheless. However, it is important as her friend to be there for her during a tough time.


Sometimes, simply being positive in the face of negativity can help to turn things around. So, when she is whining and complaining, you could point out to her where things in her life aren't as bad as they might seem and talk about all of the things she has going for her. It might be just the nudge she needs to change her tune. Also, it never hurts to hear a pep talk from a good friend.


However, you are right to be concerned because being around someone who refuses to be anything but negative, can really bring you down and burn you out. So, do your best to help her come around and be patient with her, but if she stays on her negativity binge, you might have to talk to her more directly. Explaining to her how that kind of thinking will only bring that kind of reality into her life and that you want good things for her and worry that she'll never get them with her current attitude is one way of being direct without being too harsh. During your conversation, if you make it about her, instead of about you (even though she's driving you crazy), she'll probably be less likely to get defensive and upset.


Whatever you decide to do, don't feel guilty that things are going well for you. Keep a positive attitude because it's contagious, and being happy and emotionally healthy not only helps you, but ultimately it benefits everyone that comes in contact with you. Best of luck to you.


Kind wishes,

[ EnchantedSage's advice column | Ask EnchantedSage A Question
]



onlyanswers07 answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 5:34 pm:
well why dont you just try to make things better for her.... be a good friend and make her happy, point out the good in her life..

[ onlyanswers07's advice column | Ask onlyanswers07 A Question
]



kiiss_this_xo answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 5:00 pm:
talk to yur friend about this .. make her feel like yu dont care if shes tryna bring yu down cause shes not gonna but be sympathetic about it
-steffy

[ kiiss_this_xo's advice column | Ask kiiss_this_xo A Question
]



UnluckyWishes answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 4:56 pm:
she pry just likes to share her problems a little bit too much.Ask her if she can stop talkign so much about her all the time.Just be like "Listen i like helping you and all but i dont want to hear about it EVERY second of the day only sometimes." If that doesnt work then just flat out tel her she's way to self-centered.Hope i helped.

[ UnluckyWishes's advice column | Ask UnluckyWishes A Question
]



angita answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 4:55 pm:
i noe how u feel.. i useto think tat all ma friend useto do was complain complain n complain sum more.. but guess wat... shes a friend and tats wat friends do. they go to eachother and ask 4 advice and want u to comfort and support them. u mite not realize it now cuz i didnt then but ull realize it sum day.. gud luk angie

[ angita's advice column | Ask angita A Question
]



xXxpinky615xXx answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 4:49 pm:
My friend did the same thing. What I'd do was complain back. Anything you can think of to complain about, do it. If she says anything about your complaining then go back and say that she was complaining and that it bothers you. If she denys the fact that she is complaining, tell her that you really think she is and it's really getting annoying. Hope I helped!


..::..emily..::..

[ xXxpinky615xXx's advice column | Ask xXxpinky615xXx A Question
]



Sherry answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 4:47 pm:
She just wants someone to listen. Just tell her she complains too much and if she wants you to listen that you will but yea just tell her what you think good luck

[ Sherry's advice column | Ask Sherry A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: i don't need this!!
Next Question >>> help

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker