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My advice column is for young teens. Being a colege student, for me its like, been there done that got the t-shirt. So, my goal is to help teens with the problems they face everyday in lifes long struggle.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: student
Member Since: July 30, 2006
Answers: 124
Last Update: October 23, 2008
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Well, if you read my other questions, you know me and my "bestfriend" both 'like' the same guy, although i don't think she ilkes him. .. but whatever.
So now she's being a complete witch(if you know what i mean) to me. And she doesn't think so. But i know so, everyone says she treats me bad, but she thinks opposite, that I treat her bad.
We've been bestfriends since second grade, and I don't want that to end. But i don't know if i can handle how rude and witchy* she's been to me. I tell her about it, but all she does is 'backfire' it, and say it back to me. HELP! What should i do ? :/ (link)
Yo.
I know what the situation is like. I agree with the answers below, you should give her some space. Maybe she's just upset about something and just doesn't want to have to do with anyone or anything. Give her some space, and in a few days, try talking to her again. When you give her space, and then try and talk about the issue, maybe she will realise that you are a good friend and you DO mean well.
Hope everything goes okay!!

-xox yoliv


MY gf and i are together for almost 2 years, and now everyhings changed. i love her so much and i dont wan to lose her. i sometimes think that if she was not meant for me then i'll just end up my life because she's my life. it seems that our relationship is like a bomb waiting for its time to blow...everyday the clock ticks and the end is near for us. she always told me she love me but i could not feel it like before...was i too demanding for her to show it or she doesnt love me anymore? i am really confused and dnt know what to do..i wanted ending killing up myself so that i will not suffer the pain when the time comes.. (link)
You need to sit down and talk to her.
Don't kill yourself, it'll only make the pain worse. Especially for her. If you are meant to be, then so be it. If not, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Hope I helped!


My wife and I had been married for over four years.
I have ADD and high anxiety which I'm not taking medication for.
I had a pretty good paying job but was laid off early 1n 2007.
My eyes started giving me problems before the lay off but I did get them checked out while I still had insurance.

Found out this year that both of my eyes have cataracts. I've attempted working at three jobs but my eye sight prevented me from passing the probationary period.

Here's my issue. I had a step daughter that had always found a ways into getting into trouble. Everything you asked her not to do, she went ahead and done. The computer she would stay on Instant messaging, My spacing all her friends till early morning.
I gave her so many chances but she proved to me she didn't care.
Her mother and I constantly fought about her because every time I tried to lay the Law down, the discipline was always to severe.
Even if it was just a few weeks without the computer.
Then she started on the phone..the same thing.

My wifes daughter wouldn't barely do any thing in the house.
And after her mother and I told her we expected more from her since she was 16, like washing clothes, doing the dishes...she made sure she washed only her stuff when begged, ( and if she washed three loads of clothes, it would take over three days and then you'd never find them put away) until I got so tired and fed up with her and the way me and her mother fought all of the time because how she ran the house, I made her move out when she turned 18 and graduated.
My step daughters every other word was profanity, and I don't think that she once told her mother or me the truth.
And Lord if you found her in a lie ( which was always ) she would cover it up with another one. She never admitted to anything she done. From bringing guys over when her mother and I were gone, to finding a ways to explain why she messed around with her best friends boyfriend.

Well, My father and mother passed away with cancer. And I made sure that no body smoked in the house. My wife and I don't smoke.
My wife invited her brother over ( or he invited his self ) and in both houses we used to live in, he smoked in each one, not caring.
And my wife let him and to this day, if he wanted to visit...I'm sure the same thing would have happened.

Well again, on Christmas eve of 2007, her daughter wanted to spend the night with us, to be there on Christmas. She smoked.

When I went down to visit my family in Alabama, mysteriously as it sounds, my wife let her daughter move back in knowing full well we never got along. Knowing full well her daughter never listened to one rule of the house, never helped out.
Then one day out of the many fights that broke out in the few months her daughter stayed there, my wife asked me to leave. And I did.

Amy, was I asking to much? Showing respect seems to be a thing of the past in today's society, but the way my wife handled each situation, and the way her daughter and her whispered and told there secrets, was it fair or justified at the way things were handled?
It seems as though the many things I accused her daughter of doing, my wife finally told me that yes, she did smoke pot, yes she was smoking in every room in the house when she ( her mother ) was in the hospital, yes, she fooled around with boys when we weren't there.

But instead of digging in deep and finally sticking up to her guns
and giving discipline to her daughter, it was easier to let me go.

What are the parameters of a marriage? Just because a person has children, does that erase the morality or any since of any opinion I may have had? I love her mother very much, but would I be asking for more heart ache if I tried pursuing this marriage. I don't want to walk away from this marriage. To me I think the Lord gave her to me, I'll get counseling and change anything I can.
But if I'm going to be the only one who'll attempt to change, will
this be visible?

Thank you (link)
Yo.
As sen on many TV shows, Step families can be rough. this is not nesicarily true, but in most cases it kinda is. Counceling is a good idea because the internet cant help with everything. Your stepdaughter needs to be disciplined, meaning you and her mother might need to sit down and have a long, serious talk with her. But before you go blaming everything on her, you might want to think about how she is feeling. Take a walk in her shoes. What do you think that she feels every time she goes and smokes? Or has boys over when you and her mother arent home? You are obviosuly her step dad, so she may miss her other dad and be depressed and she does all these things like smoke and act like a jerk but it might be because she is sad and feels alone. Maybe there is something going on at school. Possibly high school girl drama. You and her mother should discuss this with her to see why she does all these things. [Back to the stern talk] Maybe you should try to help her and help get her life back on track so that she can move on and get her own house. Maybe you and your step daughter could consider counciling. But what you should do first is talk to her mother. Tell her how you feel and give her ideas on how to discipline her daughter. You dont talk to your stepdaughter until you have spoken with her mother. When you have the long talk with her, you should discuss reasons why you are so frustrated with her (your step daughter). Tell them both how you feel, and them give them both a chance to talk. Don't raise your voice a lot and try to keep your cool. This will make the convorsation a lot calmer and will most likely make it shorter. If you are calm about it then your stepdaughter and her mother will be calmer too. If you are currently having counceling now, keep it up. Counclers are usually a big help in problems like this.
Hope I helped && good luck


-Yoliv =]


so my friends mike and drew invited me over tonight to hang out with them and this one other guy, but i'd be the only girl there. i'm afraid it'll be really awkward. like i'm friends with these guys, but idk, should i go?

15/f (link)
Yo.
I think that you should go. Their your guy friends and I think that it's great your friends with them. Don't talk about things like cute guys or what you are planning on wearing the next day... guys don't usually like that. Just have fun and act the way that you would normally act around friends.

Hope I helped!!
:]
-Yoliv


my best friend doesnt like who im friends with and everytiime i mention them, she goes nuts
but theyre my friends and i want to tell her about them and all the funny stuff that happens but she gets all jelous and whatnot (link)
Yo.
WELL... you definatly can't control how she feels about your friends, and you can't help it that she is jealous. BUT- you can talk to her and tell her all the fun times you've had. Tell her that you are really good friends with these other people and are great friends with her too, but you don't want her to be jealous. Sit her down and tell her this. If she's still jealos, tell her you're sorry and stuff. Maybe you shouldn't talk about your other friends around her as much. I'm not saying don't tell her what funny thing your friend said or whatever, just dont talk about it as much. Appologize. it usually works. :]

Hope I helped!! :]
-Yoliv


so my family just started this heart healthy diet were they give you a list of what your supposed to eat.my mom,dad and sis are all kinda obese but im at my ideal weight!on this diet you follow it for three days then your off for four days then back on for three days and so on.well after three days your suppose to loose 10 pounds.well that might be possible for my fam,but prob not me...right?im 5'0 and i weighed 120 the day i started and after the three days were over i was at 117!is that possible?i want to get at 110 pounds because thats a good wieght for me in my opinion and based on the chart for the suggeted BMI!is this a healthy diet if im loosing 4pounds in three days?i feel fine but and im eating everything on the diet which is a good amount to me?opinions would be lovely!thanx! (link)
YO.
I'm no doctor but to me, that doesn't sound like a healthy diet. I'd stop. A diet is something that takes time, and you don't take breaks. You should stop now and maybe talk to your doctor about the diet and see what they suggest. If THEY [the doctors] think that the diet's okay to stay on, I think I would still drop it. Losing 4 pounds in 3 days.... unlikely. On Celebrity fit club... and they train hard [unless its fake.. =0] they lose like an average of like 5lbs a week. SO... I would just say talk to your doctor and see what they think but I would still drop it. Maybe see what the doctor suggests for dieting. Like see what programs he suggests or like tips he could give you. Losing weight is tough.

Hope I helped and good luck!!!
-Yoliv :]


does anyone know where to get good best frined quotes or know any good ones?? (link)
I know one site: www.iconator.com (go to away messages and there are some away friends ones.)
Here are a few \/

"Friends write to you in jail.
Good Friends visit you in jail.
BEST friends will be the ones in the cell next to you saying:
MAN THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Friends will give you 1/2 their cookie.
Good friends will give their cookie.
BEST friends will tell you to go get your own"

"Friends will give you their unbrella in the rain
BEST friends will take YOUR unbrella and are running down the street yelling, "Run dork run!!" but if you get tooo close, they'll poke you in the eye with it."

"Friends help you when you fall.
BEST friends will be the ones laughing their heads off because THEIR the ones that tripped you in the first place."

"Friends wipe your tears when you get rejected by a crush.
BEST friends will go up to him and say: "It's cuz your gay isnt it?""

"You don't go through high school to find your husband... you go to find your bridesmaids."

"My type of best friends run not only into parked cars... but parked buses too."

Hope I helped!! :]

-YoLiV


ok, so there was this girl that went to my school who had cancer for the part 3 years. She was the nicest person i have ever met in my life, and always had something nice to say. She was fun and so much fun to be around. Recently (1-14-08)after going into remission 3 times, she passed away. I'm not saying that i was like best friends with this girl, because i wasn't, but i did know her. We sat together in Chemistry and always talked, and were even going to be lab partners before her cancer came back. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this loss. I just can't handle that this great person is gone and i'm never going to see her again. I cry really easily and everytime someone really bring up her death in school, or there is an announcement made about her, or they show a powerpoint on her life, i start to cry. I went to her viewing today, and just completely broke down. it was just hard to see this person who was so full of life and fun just lying there dead.
I was really just wondering if anyone could give me some advice to help me cope with this loss or anything like that. Thanks (link)
SOO SOO SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOOO (times a billion and a half :])Sorryyy

my advice would be try and get people (including yourself) to be a lot nicer. Smile and say hi to kids in the halls. It might also help you think about how much you appreciate life. I know that this might not really help if you aren't religious or anything but, sometimes praying makes people feel better. I'm not really religous or anything but when I get scared or sad sometimes I pray and it makes me feel better. It's not like you have to be at a church but like before you go to sleep, while your laying down. You can say a prayer in your head and stuff. Maybe talk to your principal about starting a fundraiser to find a cure for cancer. Idkk maybe it would help. I'm kinda new to this sooo...

Again- SO SO SO SO (times another billion and 3/4)
SORRYYY


Well, me and a couple friends are planning a halloween party. We've got music, decorations, and food down, but I was just wondering what we should do there to keep the party going. We're all aged 15 by the way.
Thanks. (link)
Yo!!!
Go trick-or-treating! Even though you are 15, its still fun! I mean who doesn't like free candy?!
If you dont want to do that, games like spin the bottle. You could put in a halloween mix on pin- the-tail-on-the-donkey... make it like pin-the-mask-on-the-kid or something. Watching a scary movie like, The Hills Have Eyes, Freddie (i cant spell names haha sorry) vs. Jason, The Village, The sixth Sence are all pretty creepy. Other things like eating a lot of candy and junk food and dancing to old Haloween songs like "The Monster Mash" are pretty cool. Doing stuff like sitting and talking is all ok too. You could have some people (or everyone at the party) spend the night and stay up telling scary stories and watching movies, eating candy and all that stuff. Really all you have to do to keep the party going is just have fun. Get people dancing and talking. DONT USE A SCHEDULE! Most people think that schedules just ruin the fun. Just let everyone do what they want (well not entirely what they want) and live it up!!!
Hope I helped! Have Fun!!!!!
-YOLIV


I'm getting a dog. But my brother is allergic and my house is small. Does a Yorkie shed alot, does it need alot of running? I'd be able to make sure it gets excerise, and alot if it needs it. help? (link)
Yo.
Yorkies dont usually need a lot of exersize and dont really shed a lot. But you should walk them and depending on how long their fur is, you should brush them too. Walking and brushing any dog usually makes it happy- and a happy dog is a good dog :D :D
Hope I helped!
Good Luck!!! :D
-YOLIV


How would I go about getting my parents to get me a puppy (a toy/miniature one)

I've been asking them for years (it's been 9-ish years now, I'm 16) yet they think up some excuse since my brother neglected his cat :(. (link)
Hey.
Since your parents are using your brother neglecting his cat as an excuse, tell them that you are responsible and wont abuse the dog. Tell them that since it is a small dog, that it wont take up a lot of room in the house. Also, if you take a dog from the shelter, it would be saving a dogs life {if the dogs dont get adopted, they get put to sleep :'(} Tell them that you will be able to walk it. (and since its a toy/miniature dog they usually dont need to be walked a lot) Since it has been 9 years, and your 16 tell them that you are old enough to handle the responsibility of owning a dog.
Hope I helped!! Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-YOLIV :)


okay, so im getting a new puppy thats a couple weeks old. its sooooooo cute, but i cant decide what to name her. does any one have any good ideas? any type of name welcome! INFO:
girl
dalmation
plese-sort of unusual names but not crazy. some thing pretty but tough, and unique. thank you!! (link)
YAY A PUPPY!!!!!!
Daisy
Clue
Erin
Chicka (i think it means young girl in Spanish.... i'm not sure though)
Dot (or Dottie)
Ella
Erica
Isabella
Jazelle (was going to be my name.. but it isnt)
Wendy
Sparkle
Suzie

Hope I helped! Good luck with the new addition!!!
-YOLIV


My best friend has been really upset lately, and every time i ask what is wrong, she says nothing. but im not stupid, i know when something is wrong. should i just leave her alone, or should i keep asking her what is wrong? i know she wants me to know, she just wont tell me. i know this because she will half bring up that she is upset and then drop it. im pretty sure i know what it is, and i want to help her, but she wont let me. idk, what do u think? thanks, (link)
Yo.
It will be annoying but you really should keep on asking. She will eventually get annoyed and tell you. If that doesnt work... get more of her friends to talk to her about it. If THIS doesnt work maybe talk to your school guidance councler or her/your mom. (Moms usually know what to do) If THIS doesnt work then I got nothing but i dont think that it will really go that far ;)
Just keep on asking and you should be able to get it out of her. :)
Hope I helped!!:):)
-YOLIV :)


in about september 06-march 07 i was with this kid i REALLY liked a lot. he broke up with me in march because i did a lot of bad shit to him which i totaly regret. i cried over him almost everynight.. and i knew that we would never get back together ever again. my ex really did hate me and i knew it. i still liked him a lot up until about julyish..then i started to like this other guy [but i still had my ex in the back of my mind] i went on vacation and when i got back the guy who i liked asked me out and we are now going out..however i kept having dreams about my ex and i wanted to talk to him to just have closure. i had a gut feeling he still had feelings for me but no one would believe me..i decided to text my ex who i hadnt talked to since march. [ we had a few hey,hey,whats up, nm u, nm conversations every now and then but not a real one] i said to him can i tell you something and he said yes and i said okay well ive definately changed a lot since we were together..and i just want to let you know that becuase i pretty much want to apologize for anything stupid i've done and i hope we can be cool now yada yada..and hes said yeah i really disliked you for a while but its cool now but i like realllyy did like you thoguh before all that shit happened.and i said yeah same i realllllyy did like you a lot..and after i did too for a while but its all good..and he said whats a while and i said welll i liked you a few months after we were officially done and then i just had a thing for you. and he said realllyy reallly did you really like me blah blah and i said yeah.. you have no idea.. and then suddenly he goes so i hear your going out with [my bf now] and i know he was considering going back out with me but then he remembered i had a bf. i said yeah and he said thats cool im talking to him now and i said cool and he said yeah. its friggen awesome..and he startyed to act all moody. i had a feeling it was becuase i did actually have a boyfreind now and he did still have feelings for me.. sorry this is so long im almost done :]]] haha bottom line..i still really love my ex and i woke up this morning thinking about my ex and not my bf..i like my bf but i love my ex. i know if i break up with my bf my ex will go back out with me. but my bf is a reallllllyyy great guy who doesnt deserve that. please help me i realllyyy have no idea what to do. i need serious help becuase my friends dont know what to say either. thank you so much xoxo (link)
Yo.
Ok so if you REALLLYY REALLLYYY REEALLLLYYY (so on,) love your ex, you should break up with your bf. But, since you said that your bf was a really great guy, tell him that you have feelings for another guy and dont want to let him know the hard way. Tell him that you think that he is an awesome guy and that you still want to be friends, but just not bf, gf.
Hope I could help.:)
Good Luck.
-YOLIV8-)


Well, I've been best friends with this girl Stacy for 2 years. We do pretty much everything together and I'm always going over her house and stuff. But lately, it feels like we're always competing, at least I feel that way. Whenever we go somewhere together I'm always trying to look better than her. And she just got a ton of new clothes for school from like hollister and abercrombie and I didn't get as much as her. I get really jealous, and I don't know why. We've always been best friends, but why do I feel this way? (link)
YO.
Its normal for best friends to be jealous of each other. Just don't think about how "better" you think she is. Talk to your parents about how you feel and maybe they can help you. Just because she has more clothes then you DOES NOT mean that she is better. Talk to HER and tell her how you feel. Say something like, "I know that we have been BFF for 2 years, but sometimes I feel as though we are in a compitition." I'm sure that she will understand.
Hope that I could Help,
YOLIV 8-)


I am probably getting a dog if this week with her works out (I have another dog already and we have to see if they get along well... so far they are fine together.) She looks very German Shepherd but she's small. She's very quiet and sweet. I can't think of a good name for her though. Here is her picture:

http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/3264/puppyto2.jpg

My mom likes the name Maggie for her but I'm not sure it really suits her. Any ideas? (link)
Awww!!!!
~Abby
~Brandy
~Buttherscotch
~Catie (Katie)
~Daisy
~Ella
~Elena
~Fionna (Fee-own-uh)
~Isabell(or Isabella)
~Lola
~Lily
~Lacey
~Lucy
~Maggie- is a nice name, I think anyways :)
~Michaela, Mikayla, McKayla
~Nina
~Olivia
~Rachel
~Sara(h)
~Suzie
~Stacey, Stacy
~Tammy
~Tia
~Tamarra (Tuh-Mare-Uh)
~Venus
~Wendy
~Zoey

Hope I helped!!!!!!!!!!!:) Good luck with the doggie! ;)
-YOLIV


My friend and I want to hang out a lot but the more we go out the less money is in our wallets. So many activities cost money nowadyays. Does anyone have any good ideas for cheap fun hangout ideas??? (link)
Yo.
I've seen some answers and agree 100%.
Hanging out doesnt mean spending money, I mean yeah going to a movie is fun and it costs money, but why not hang out out in your yard, or watch a movie thats played on TV. If you have Time Warner Cable then you could order a movie and it shows up on your cable bill. (and if your parents ask you to pay it, its only like $2.50 per movie or something like that) Talking is what me and my friends do whenever we hang out. We can go a couple hours just talking about school, who we like, etc. If your parents say its ok, have her spend the night. You could stay up all night playing card/board games. You could make popcorn. {i prefer kettle corn ;)} You could play outside, it may be little kid-ish but theres plenty of stuff to do. Basketball, four square, soccer, fun sport activities, trying gymnastics in the yard is fun, (but be careful) if you have a dog that will stay with you, you could play with them in the yard, walk your dog (me and my friends do that and talk the entire time, its better on walks cuz if anyone is home with you they wont hear you:)) play with pets, inside and out. Theres plenty of fun things to do out of town too. Target. Whenever me and my family/friends go there, we head right for the shoe section. Then we have an "Ugly Shoe Contest". Whoever finds the ugliest shoe wins. (You can really only do this at a Target because they carry REALLY ugly shoes) Thats all I got. Good Luck!!!!
Hope I helped! Have Fun!
~~YOLIV~~


okay, so me and my best friend, we'll call her serena, we've been best friends since 2nd grade (we're in 10th now) but we know everything about each other and we are always there for each other. well she has a boyfriend but she still flirts with like all the guys at school and they of course flirt back. and so when im walking with her and someone comes up im just like stuck walking behind them. and im sick of it. when we are by ourselves everything is great but not at school. i feel like such a dork just tagging along. and i have other friends but they all like love serena and it seems like they would rather be around her. i really hate it but i feel like im just never going to be as good as her. how can i become more outgoing? or what can i do? but dont tell me to talk to her about it because that is not an option. its something i have to do alone. but please help!

15/f (link)
Yo.
To be more outgoing/noticed, join clubs in your school and meet new people. Start more convorsations with them.

For the flirting problem, you might need a little help. Maybe you should talk to other friends about it. Or go alone, whichever you feel better with.

More on the outgoing thing. Start convo's with the people that Serena hangs out with. So what if they are guys??? Hopefully you can talk to serena about the flitrting thing and become outgoing all alone :)

Hope I helped! 8-)
~~YOLIV~~


So my summer's almost over and school's about to begin again. The problem is, I've stayed up soo late I have trouble going to sleep early or falling asleep! How can I go to sleep earlier, and how can I fall asleep faster? When I go to sleep it could take 30 min+++ for me to fall asleep so does anyone have any tips? Also, for school I'd wake up around 5:45 am or later (school starts at 7:10) and sometimes if I'm reading something or watching a clip or short movie in class, sometimes I'd kinda almost fall asleep and I'm really tired and it's hard to keep my eyes open! :| How can I prevent this or what can I do if that's happening to me? (Yes I know I have to sleep early so please say something else xP) (link)
YO.
The real thing you should do is just go to bed earlier, I know you didnt want to hear that, but it works. If you dont listen to that, then try sleeping pills. (CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR FIRST!!!!)
Or do something tiring before you go to sleep, do something relaxing that makes you tired.
Hope i helped. :)
-YOLIV 8-)


if im a men's 7 shoe what am i in womens? (link)
yo yo
you would be an 8.5 in womans. :) (womens are 1.5 bigger then mens)




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