GingerSpice's advice column

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Q: I am fifteen. But i've never done ANYTHING wrong for them not to trust me. All my friends can go out , and i of everyone cannot, and i should be the one trusted most.I've tried to do everything right but i get nothing out of it.

In that case talk to her about it.

Tell her how you feel & why you think she should let you go out. Give her examples of your responsibility & let her know that she can trust you. You sound responsible so I hope she gives in.
But whatever you do, don't say something like "well all my friends can go out" because she'll see that as you comparing her to your friends parents. It'll just make her mad.

Shes probably just worried about boys who are your age too. They're something else! lol Any parent of a teenage girl would worry. But as I said, talk to her & let her know how you feel. You know your mom best so just make sure you know how to say everything in a way that doesnt upset her. Good luck! :)

Let me know if you need anything else!

Q: I'm ten, female, and I kinda want a boyfriend. I don't know if I should do it, or how to do it. And if I do it how do I yell my parents?

YES. You are way too young. You have your enitire life to date. Wait until you're atleast in highschool.

Q: 16/F

Hello! Recently I was prescribed birth control pills for my heavy period and he warned me that I may be spotting in between the pills. I've been taking them for about two weeks now and about four days after I started taking them, my period started and it hasn't stopped either. It's really weird and it's kind of heavy now, at first it was light.
Also, I don't know if this helps or not, but just making sure, I am not sexually active and I've also been having some pains in my abdomen area, recently having an ultra-sound done to see what it was, but the note they sent only said 'we did an ultra-sound', nothing else, so I'm confused.

Your body needs to get used to the pills. It'll take sometime. Usually weeks to months.

Q: So.. I recently decided to shave my Vagina. I was kind of scared to shave it at first but I wanted it to be smooth. Well, I shaved it and now there are like red bumps and I can't seem to get it smooth.. Also, I've realized that the hair grows back really fast and it's been itching down there a lot lately.. Is this normal? How do you get rid of the bumps and what is the best way to shave it? Thanks!

Next time, use shaving cream.

Q: what does it mean when they say the term "wetter" ? like that if a guy and girl are doing it, she gets wet? what exactly does that mean?

Masturbate. You'll find out.

Q: ok well you guy are gonna think im like the craziiest person in the world :s but i NEED advce kaay well about a year ago my friend introduced me to justin bieber (not in person like she showed me his songs) and i really liked his music but lately ive been obssesing over his songs i listen to him ALL day and ALL night im always daydreaming of how it would be if i were to ever meet him and if he liked me and we started going out ive never really liked a famouse person this much and its kinda silly cause its gotten to the point were after my day dreams i start cring cause i know that ill NEVER be able to get even close to him or meet him in person and even if i did have my dream of comeing face to face with him and telling him how i feel i know that im just waaaaaaay to ugly for him to even be the least bit intrested :(( ( heres a pic of me -----> http://i784.photobucket.com/albums/yy121/EmilyAn007/188705_108547272561521_100002187478226_80259_1924690_n.jpg)

soo plzzz just give me any coment of what i should do to just get it over wiith!

Glad to know that you've come to realize that you'll never meet that kid.
And yes, it is VERY unhealthy & just plain dumb to waste tears on. I'm not sure why so many people are so obsessed with him, but get over it!

You KNOW its not going to happen, sooooo stop with the tears. And btw, you should think about listening to better artists.

Q: My mom says i can go to boys houses if she talks to the parents. I told her she can talk to this boys parent that i like,but now she wont let me go unless my friends come with me.She says he can come here,but i want to be able to go out too! What should i do?

Your mom is just taking precaution. Teens these days are wild so don't blame her if she wants to talk to the boy's parents before you go over there.

How old are you? If you're in your early teens, this isn't gonna change anytime soon. As you grow older, become more responsible, & get your parents trust, then things will change. If not, then after proving yourself, have a talk with them while giving them examples of why they can trust you. And dont break that trust. It's VERY important to have your parents trust unless you want to be supervised for the rest of your teenage years.

Atleast your mom is letting him over, a lot of parents wouldnt allow that. Try it out. If not, tell her how you feel about wanting to go out. Be grown up about it to build that trust with her. Tell her exactly where you're going to be, with who, and if she'd feel better about it, tell her you'll give her a call at whatever time. This way she knows that you're responsible & can trust you.

Q: Cramps, white discharge, breast development, pubic hair growth, my closest friend just got her period and my mom got her period around the age i am right now. Am i getting my period soon?

Welcome to puberty!
And to answer your question, Yes you should be getting it sometime soon maybe a few months to a year.

Q: My husband sent this song to his friend who is a woman I was mad if you received this from someone what would you think? he is 36 I am 31 and she is late 20s early 30's

Sweet disposition

Never too soon
Oh reckless abandon,
Like no one's watching you
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
While our bloods still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
Songs of desperation
I played them for you
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A kiss, a cry
our rights, our wrongs
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh
A moment, a love
A dream, a laugh

Hey hun

You should definitley confront him about this. If this was MY husband, he wouldnt've gotten away with it.

BUT talk to him! As we all know in a marriage communication is so very important. And PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! He needs to know what he can & can't do. And not to degrade men in any sort of way, but its like training a puppy. They need to know how to treat you, how to do things to your liking, and to know what they CAN OR CANNOT GET AWAY WITH!
As his wife, you have the right to know what's going on in any situation. So I advise you to talk to him. This is clearly innapropriate material to be sending to his lady friend. He should have known that it was too. If you need help with any further problems with this please feel free to ask.

Q: I was dating this guy for like 3 and a half years, we broke up but still hung out all of the time, still had sex, the whole thing. We basically broke up because of money I was raised rich and he was raised poor he doesnt work but he gets disability income meanwhile i believe in working im in college and have always seen myself becoming well off like my parents. but we broke up because i was no longer willing to help support him, so he's moving back home to the west coast next week. And now I'm so confused. Now I'll have the chance to work and save my money, spend it on myself, not have to worry about him- but im devistated. If I had my way I'd drop everything put school on hold and move with him, which would devistate my family and I'm pretty sure I'd never be well off. I don't know what to do I know that if we were to get back together we'd have the same stupid money fights, but if i can accept and make peace with the fact that we will never be rich together it would hopefully make the fights less frequent. Is it dumb to throw away oppurtunity for love? I see myself graduating and going over to be with him later in life but I can't even imagine life without him at this point. But I'm 22 I'm not old but I'm not that young anymore and I feel like I need to hurry up and decide what to do with my life. So... now what.

hey there
well you've pretty much made your choice, which is not support him which means not living together. you need to realize this.
since you've chosen this, you need to figure out how to live without him. how to balance school, work, friends, family etc... do what you want to do now, you're young, single, going to school and working. spend time doing things you love. if the two of you were meant to be you'll find a way to end up together some how. but since you dont want to support him anymore, focus on yourself. do things you've always wanted. you've made your choice not to be with him over this.
money in relationships can be difficult to deal with. ive been in the same situation as you, but the reality of life is that money is hard to save and use it on things you want because you have to spend it on things you need.
hope i helped.

Q: so my boyfriend and i have this agreement that when we go out and party we tell each other first and then call each other when we get back to just say a quick goodnight and to make sure we got back fine because we live far apart. He has been going out a lot lately and i haven't. And he keeps not holding his end up but it really hurts me because i expect it and then it doesn't happen. We have been through it and i threatened to break up with him over it before. I don't want to end our 2 year relationship over something this stupid because i know he hasn't cheated or done anything deliberately to hurt me. He gets home and passes out. Meanwhile, I wake up and then cry myself to sleep. I know, pathetic right? Anyway it causes a lot of emotional pain and i don't know what to do. If he can't keep up his end it feels like he just doen't care at all about how i feel.

hey
you need to talk to him about this as a problem. dont use it to threaten him, just calmly sit down and talk. he needs to know how this affects you in your part of the relationship. tell him how hurt you are about it. if he respects the relationship and cares how hurt it makes you, then he'll do it from now on.
but also, find out why hes stopped doing it. to come to an understanding, but if its something like he forgets then its obviously not acceptable.
Im not saying he is, but he could easily be doing things behind your back as this is rather shady for him to be doing. why is it so hard for him to make a simple phone call? and it only seems fair to you as his g/f to call when he gets back so that you know hes okay and have you worrying. you need to tell him this and find out the reason why he hasnt done his part.
Hope i helped.

Q: My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now. We have a 2 year old son and another on the way. However, I am not happy anymore... He is such a little child and doesn't want to man up to anything! He doesn't work (or doesn't "want" to work i should say). All he does is sit at home all day and play video games and spends all my hard earned money on CRAP! I'm so sick of it! He doesn't help me out with the house or kids and acts like he doesn't care.

Anyway, I have been miserable for a long time, but never had the guts to actually leave him... until recently, I have met this really awesome guy who makes me feel so good about myself and is totally bringing out my husband's flaws in a brighter light. I'm not the type to cheat on my husband (as big an A-hole he is)... but oh my lord I am soo tempted! How do I get up the nerve to tell my husband its over I want out? :(

Hello there
What you need to do is talk to him if you havnt already. tell him exactly how you feel about him and how its effecting you. before you try to leave your husband, try hard to save your marriage for the sake of the children. Its not gonna be easy but even though you're having a tough time with each other, keep the children in mind.
As ive mentioned, tell him how you feel, this is the first step. find out what he has to say about it or if hes even willing to do something about it. remind him of the sacrifices you've done for him and the family. depending on if he changes or not should determine your next move. tell him you've been doing so much for so long and see him do nothing. you MuST be firm to get it across. after you tell him all this let him know if nothing changes you are ready to leave, you dont deserve this at all.
i hope this gets better for you and if you have any other questions let me know.

Q: I am a US citizen and my fiancee is not. We are planning on having our baby outside of the US. I had read online that for the baby to obtain US citizenship I will have had to live in the US a minimum of five years, with two of those years being over the age of 14. Well, I lived in the US until I was 15 and 11 months exactly. So therefore, I have the five years, but lived there only 1 and 11 months after I turned 14. Do you think this one measly month will matter? And if it does, what is my next option (I want my child to be a US citizen, but am not planning on living in the states again). I know this is a really specific question, but thanks alot if you can help me.

You just made this whole situation more complicated than it prolly should to be.
The easiest way for the baby to obtain US citizenship is by being born IN the United States.
Even if you do want the baby to be born in a different country, what difference does it make if you dont plan on having the baby keep his/her citizenship in that country??
The simplest way to go about this situation is to have the baby in the US and THEN move to a different country if you dont want to stay here.

Q: i am 14 years old, and i am really starting to like this kid. buh the thing is, that he has a girlfriend. another thing is that they both cheat on each other, and theyre only together because they feel lonely without each other. i get really upset because he flirts with me and i really cant flirt back because he has a girlfriend. they have been going out for 2 years already . ugh this is so confusing = / hope you can help

Hey there
Well regardless of the situation, one should never go after someone who is already with someone else, no matter how their relationship is going. The simple fact that this guy already has a girlfriend and cheats on her doesnt mean you can do things with him. Hes in a relationship. Whatever he does with his relationship is his business and in this case, problem because they both cheat.
Now im not saying you wanna take him away from his girl or trying to get physical with him, just explaining how things should be. In your case, still dont flirt with him. Its not right to flirt with someone else's man no matter how bad their relationship is or how they choose to treat it. He needs to have more respect for his girlfriend.
I know you may like this guy a lil but stop now before anything further happens.
Hope i helped.

Q: What exactly is the definition of losing your virginity?

No, I took health so I know the basics. So don't go into that.

Let's say that a girl & a guy wanna have sex. The guy puts his penis inside her, but the girl's in a lot of pain, bitches, tells him to stop, etc. and he pulls it out. The end. Has she lost her virginity even though it lasted all of 3 seconds?

Yes, shes lost it but unfortunatley didnt enjoy it to keep going. If a guy does this to an unwilling female it would still be labeled as rape because it IS in fact, sex. The penis entering the vagina no matter how long or shot, its still considered sex.
Hope this helps.

Q: Hello!

I want to get a dog for my children to grow up with but I need a dog breed that is safe for kids and hopefully one that doesn't shed.

Is there such a dog?

Thank you!

Smaller breeds are difficult to train. Most are not recommended with children at all.
If you want a good trainable, smart dog look for a larger breed.

I highly recommend the Doberman Pinscher.
They are a medium large size breed and dont shed a lot at all.
Ive had a black and tan doberman and never saw any fur on me unless he was on my lap for too long, but when there was it definitly wasnt much at all.
They are exteremly loveable dogs, and very, very smart. They have been lead to believe that they are vicious and aggressive but just like any other dog, they only get like this because of poor training by its owner. They are great with children, and are known to watch over them and protect them, hence they are good watch dogs when it comes to their family. They have wonderful personalities, playful, alert, obidient, also quite humerous. They have been known to have people-like personalities.
I gaurantee you will love this breed!
Here are some links for more information:

www.dpca.org

http://www.terrificpets.com/dog_breeds/doberman_pinscher.asp

Q: Okay so this is kinda gay but here goes...
I met this guy through my friend and he seemed pretty chill. I only met him one but after we met he started texting ke and was like hey hin I wanna hang out you're so cute and hot andni wanna hang it with you. So I'm kind of prude, I've only hooked up with two guys and I've never had a bf. I've heard from some people that this guy is kind of weird or desperate or whatever but it's not like he's uglyI thought he was pretty cute andnhes obviously interseted in me . So he weants to hang out and hook up so I have two concerns.. .
First of all shouldni hang out with him in the first place, I mean if people say he's desperate I dint want to se desperate or prude cause like he's the only guy. Could yet or somethig like that
and second.... Imnervous to hang out with him because I onlyy met him once in person and then he starts texting me saying you were so cute but j feel like he's gonna see me and be like oh I remembered you diifferently or something idk I guess cause I'm inexperienced I'm ius nervous to hang out with him one on one. Sorry this is so long and lame haha.
Any advice???.

hey there.
first of all, (this pertaining to anyone you come across) dont always believe what other people say about a person. rumors about certain people are very untrue, sometimes they are made up for one reason or another but regardless, you'll never really know unless you know the person right?

in this case, what other people are saying about him is preventing you from getting to know him. dont let what other people say hold you back (from getting to know someone) if you dont see, or have any evidence of him being desperate. as i said, you wont know unless you find out yourself.

secondly, try not to be so self concience. the best thing to do when hanging out with new people especially when on a potential date, is to be yourself. if you like this guy, try to relate to him and just let things flow, but dont try too hard lol. be confident in yourself, dont listen to what others are saying and just get to know him and give him a chance to get to know you.

hope i helped and good luck :)

Q: I'm 15. My boyfriend is 17. I am a pretty normal person, but he is a complete geek. He wears glasses, likes computers, etc. I don't mind though, because he's still cute and I love him. The problem is that we have only been dating for 3 weeks but he acts like we're married! It's Valentines day on Sunday but I won't be seeing him so today he gave me this huge rose and a chocolate and a teddy bear and this huge home made card and everything! The worst part is that it was in front of everybody! He wants to be with me 24/7. I don't mind that, but I also need some time with my friends! It feels like he's smothering me with too much love. I want to take it a bit slower or the love will fizzle out too soon. How do I tell him it's too much too soon without hurting his feelings?

hey there
id say tell him exactly how you feel. say you appreciate things he does for you and that you like being around him, but also say you dont want to neglect your friends while being in this relationship with him.
tell him you want to take it a little slower, but at the same time let him know how much you like what he does for you. let him know that you do like this relationship with him, but that you also want to be able to balance other things and people, such as friends, into your life.
if he doesnt understand tell him you need space & sometimes, have time for yourself, but in a good way dont make it seem negative. only reason for the space would be so that you dont find yourself wanting to avoid him, hence an unhealthy relationship you'll soon want out of.
sit him down and just talk to him about it but as i said dont make it seem negative or make it seem as if you're about to give him some bad news.
as your boyfriend he should be able to be understanding to your wants and needs, he should want you to be happy.
hope i helped hun.

Q: hey.. so im 16f and wanting some advice on a guy and sex.. so ive known this guy, lets call him john, for a while and we've liked eachother on and off,we havnt talked alot he moved and cuz i started talking to one of his friends which i still am. but me and john want to hangout soon and first im debating on wether i should or not.. me and him always had the emotional aspect of a relationship but we never experienced the physical with eachother. so i know if we hangout we're going to get physical, and i want to have sex with this guy but i cant, im a virgin and i dont want to be that easy and other reasons, so how do i know when were about to have sex..? like are there specific things that he will do that shows like hes ready to have sex. and when we are about to, how can i stop that from happening without like crushing him and killing the moment? lol. other than that i want to get physical with him, just NOT regular sex.

heyy there
well in this situation the best thing to do is be straight up honest with him. if he doesnt take it well then oh well what can you do, its your body so dont give it up until you're ready. just tell him you're not ready to have sex and if he has any respect for you, he'll be fine with it.
well several physical things may lead him to wanting to have sex with you like touching, feeling each other, grabbing, kisses on the neck and things like that.
But dont lead him on thinking the both of you are gonna have sex then and there. if you find the both of you getting into it tell him that you're not ready before things really get going.
hope i helped hun and if you have any other questions feel free to ask :)

Q: Hannah is my bro's feiance. She is a bad situation at her house and when she turns 18 wants to move in with me. Im ok with her living with me but I will expect certain things from her like going to school and having a job. Do you think expections would be a bad thing and if not what should I expect out of her?

hey there
no it is not bad at all to have certain expectations from someone who will be living with you because its not easy.
if she will be living with you, you need to sit down and tell her what you expect and tell her the house rules. for example, cleaning up after herself, or having your permission to have a friend over etc... tell her you expect her to get a job & go to school, to do something with her life not just sit around and do nothing. you are not obligated to let her stay with you, therefore she should be happy for letting her stay with you so tell her what you want and dont want her to do.

she is not there to live off you, so dont let her take advantage of that. you are simply helping her. encourage her to take care of herself and do things with her life. dont let her disrespect you in your own home, not saying she will but put your foot down from the very beginning so that no further problems will occur.
hope i helped. good luck.

bio

Hello my name is Gina. I'm 21-years-old
and would love to help anyone out.
A little about me: I've been married since I was 18 and have been to hell and back to keep this marriage together. But the only thing that has truely kept us together is our love....and a LOT of work. We have a son who is just a few months old whom I LOVE SO MUCH!

I am honest & blunt in my advice giving, and will probably tell you what you dont wanna hear.....Life isn't easy folks.

I look forward to helping anyone who needs it so please, ask away!