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Love or Money?
I was dating this guy for like 3 and a half years, we broke up but still hung out all of the time, still had sex, the whole thing. We basically broke up because of money I was raised rich and he was raised poor he doesnt work but he gets disability income meanwhile i believe in working im in college and have always seen myself becoming well off like my parents. but we broke up because i was no longer willing to help support him, so he's moving back home to the west coast next week. And now I'm so confused. Now I'll have the chance to work and save my money, spend it on myself, not have to worry about him- but im devistated. If I had my way I'd drop everything put school on hold and move with him, which would devistate my family and I'm pretty sure I'd never be well off. I don't know what to do I know that if we were to get back together we'd have the same stupid money fights, but if i can accept and make peace with the fact that we will never be rich together it would hopefully make the fights less frequent. Is it dumb to throw away oppurtunity for love? I see myself graduating and going over to be with him later in life but I can't even imagine life without him at this point. But I'm 22 I'm not old but I'm not that young anymore and I feel like I need to hurry up and decide what to do with my life. So... now what.
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I agree with the other answer. You made your decision. Dont second guess yourself. Differences in views on money is the number one reason for divorces. It's not something that person will change about himself and it's not something you can change in yourself. Yes, you care about him, but that's not always enough. I gaurantee that you will find someone you care about more and will have the same views as you, and because of that, you will respect that new guy so much more, and you can actually have a relationship without a lot of fights. He's obviously not concerned about the future and you just cant build a real relationship on a foundation this rocky. Trust yourself. In the long run, you know this is what's best. You shouldnt give up the life you want for some guy who wont change anything for you. You shouldnt have to sacrifice, and if you do, you'll resent him down the road for it. I'm positive that you'll look back at this in a few years and say "what was I thinking???" You just need to give yourself that space to show yourself what you can do with your life when youre not being dragged down by supporting someone else. It may not seem like such a big deal right now, but like I said, when you look back in a few years you'll think you were crazy for wasting so much time/energy/stress/money on such a lazy mooch. (seriously, he cant get a job and support himself... he has to move back home to mommy? come ON!)
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hey there
well you've pretty much made your choice, which is not support him which means not living together. you need to realize this.
since you've chosen this, you need to figure out how to live without him. how to balance school, work, friends, family etc... do what you want to do now, you're young, single, going to school and working. spend time doing things you love. if the two of you were meant to be you'll find a way to end up together some how. but since you dont want to support him anymore, focus on yourself. do things you've always wanted. you've made your choice not to be with him over this.
money in relationships can be difficult to deal with. ive been in the same situation as you, but the reality of life is that money is hard to save and use it on things you want because you have to spend it on things you need.
hope i helped.
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you already know the answer to your question. life is hard as it is with money you need to think for yourself if your boyfriend wont get a job then thats his problem. you want a house someday i suggest you stay in school get a job and live your life hell still be at his parents house so no worries you can go back to him then, but i would think you want someone who would supposrt you as well and you deserve everything tell him he needs to get a job or you and him wont be together. as always its easier said then done. you guys have major history i bet. at the end of the day though u should think of your self and how you want to end out. rich or poor.
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